random_text.txt

[JustSomeDong]

Josh once joked that he prays "Lord, make my enemies ridiculous". God delivered so hard, he must be a lurker on the Farms.

 

[Forklift Certified]

Billions must do pull ups (OUTSIDE OPTIONAL!!!!)

 

[Krayt Dragon]

I reported you for acting like a nigger and refusing to drop shit when the moderators told you to knock it off.

 

[LifeAlert]

Courtesy of @Lifeguard Hermit in Sneedchat:

Here's something that will annoy several of you I don't give a fuck when the Epstein list drops

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

LITERAL genocide, they're LITERALLY erasing TRANS FOLX

 

[Tablet County]

Mfw Goku does the Drone-Strike-hame-ha attack

 

[TheRetardKing]

"EUUGHHHH, THIS IS THE CHAINSAW FOR BUREAUCRACY! CHAINSAW!!! *whining noise*"

 

[MrJokerRager]

"You will never be president again" - Holol

No shit dummy.

 

[POWER IN MISERY]

Operation Black Darkness is in full effect.

There's money to be made in being Shmorky.

 

[Lisa C J]

If you take cheap shots, you're bound to have a hangover.

 

[San Dobel]

why are we smiling WHY IS THERE A FUCKING FAMILY GUY CLIP

i don't think jacking it to angry birds is a symptom of autism

 

[Aunt Carol]

ill get me a big outdoor dog to help keep the coyotes and niggers at gay.

 

[Entomologist]

che guevara is trapped in an energy prism but he is able to piss through it to escape, so yujiro threatening to rape the president is relatively normal

That's standard Yujiro practice. He powers up by masturbation.

 

[The Ultimate Ramotith]

That person Twisty is a man who drew a comic strip of himself as a female turkey getting eaten out by a 43 year old transgender therapist.

 

[Gentlebastard]

We should set up our own AI trained solely on farms data. It would be amazing.

You gotta hand it to men, at least we are honest in gross disgusting levels of lust and appreciation to fulfill it.

I think it was sun tsu who said in the art of war “One man bussy, easy. One woman, hard. Life is unfair, lmao.”

I do not know why, but I read this story in a Kermit the Frog's voice and it made it 146% better.

Imagine you're trying to strangle someone then he shouts "Yaasss harder daddy!" so then you bust out the knife to stab but as you stab him he screams "oh yeah thats the spot! penetrate me right there!" so then you draw your gun and he screams "uhmmm yes shoot your load into me!".

You'd let him live and go back to serial killing lady hookers too.

There are always going to be men who coom too close to the sun.

The Bible summed up: treat others how you would want to be treated and don’t be a fucking coomer

Should've known it'd be some gaynigger shit as soon as I saw "San Francisco".

sure he's an erapist but he's also saving western civilzation from tyrants (gossiping about z-tier ecelebs for my entertainment)

"You know who else didn't think that period blood splattered on a canvas was real art? HITLER!"

All journoscum should be sent to fat camp. I don't care if they aren't obese, they're still going.

I'm not stuck in here with you, I'm stuck in here with me.

The Jew fears the Red McDonalds roof

Ah... the "How many angels could put lotion on my dick rn." debate.

It’s Calvinist jihad or it’s nothing

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea is now a thing

Imagine Tay 2,0 trained on autistic manifestos, 50 shades of gray and japanese light novels plus self help guidebooks.

I know, I shouldn't take him seriously, but sometimes he says something so apocalyptically retarded that I get madge despite myself.

Damn he's really got that himbo energy

This is the type of shit midwit historians will be writing to get clicks on their sensationalist clickbait holonet sites in 8472A.D. thinking that because they have a degree from the Crab Nebula University (Est. 5403) they are hot shit.

"What I'm trying to say, your honor, is that a retarded man died that day."

For shit's sake, people, if you're going to be a retard or asshole on the internet, fucking practice opsec.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

If you come home from work and the first thing you do is take your bra off, you're probably a woman. If the first thing you do is put a bra on and get a boner, you're not.

 

[babadook]

Why in God's name are you asking a robot how to get with girls? Do you have a father? An older brother? Literally any male friends? Ask actual people.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Mark Hamill is ready to take it up the ass to own his nemesis, Darth Rump.

 

[LifeAlert]

My honest to god favorite moments of Jacks videos is the final 3 or 4 seconds where you can see the thousand yard stare at his wife's eyes before she quickly leaves the set without the recording even finish. She's so eager to get the fuck away from whatever the fuck inedible gubbins Jack made and called food

Listen I come here to make fun of fatty not to hear people's opinions on Calves, Ducks, Jews, and Hot Dogs. There's a whole food section so take it there even the Jews because all 4 do have one thing in common all have been put in ovens.

Courtesy of @${Sandy} in Sneedchat:

One time, I got a mouse in a sticky trap and I decided to kill it with a hammer cause my dad taught me to do that when I was a kid and I didnt realize you dont have to hit it that hard so I swung the hammer full force and there was absolutely nothing left of the louse, at all. It exploded.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

How else are you supposed to charge the JO Crystal?
View attachment 7013265

The crystal I wear around my neck contains an essence that gets recharged when I jack it with a bro who also has a crystal.

Nobody knows it's a JO crystal but me and my bros.

I have seen it glow white while jerking it with a bud thats how I know this is real.

I prefer a JO bud with a twist.
View attachment 7013312

59 yo retired male looking for a discreet bud to meet regularly for JO only. straight guys only no gay stuff

The twist is that I want a bud who can come live with me during storm season so we can go outside and JO during a tornado.

My ultimate fantasy is to have us tied with leather belts to pipes like Hellen Hunt and Bill Paxton at the end of the movie Twister and have our feet being sucked up into the vortex and while we are doing that we can JO (poss. handjob exchange)