Read this if you're planning to troll Chris

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I've updated the Almanac with this:

Post as if Chris doesn't read your posts.
Yes, Chris occasionally lurks on the board, but that doesn't warrant trying to talk to him directly. A lot of people will take time to write an aside trying to speak directly towards Chris. He doesn't read these. Even if he did read your post, he wouldn't digest it, he wouldn't comprehend it, he wouldn't care. Nothing you say to him [cwc=Frequently_Asked_Questions#Contact_Chris]will ever matter[/cwc]. Perhaps even more frustrating are posts that decide to be passive-aggressive about talking to Chris in such a way that is obvious to a normal reader. These posts are bizarre and fruitless, annoying and futile. You will not affect or influence Chris in any way from this forum: stop trying.
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I want to underscore something: Chris doesn't care about what you have to say. If for any reason you believe Chris to be the author of a post or thread, restrain yourself. Stop trying to get epik :ween: . It doesn't work out and it makes you look silly. It also carries a very big chance of scaring away the person in question when a single remark he makes about a Highschool friend generates 4 pages of different people telling him that Chris is creepy and a monster. He doesn't even read that shit.

If you think that a post/thread's author is suspect, before replying, just ask yourself this:
1. Does what I have to say contribute something new?
2. Can I summarize what I have to say in less than 5 sentences?
3. Does my post refrain from seething with bitterness and rage?
4. Is what I have to say relevant to someone other than Chris? In other words, does my message belong on a public forum, or is it a direct or indirect attempt at contacting Chris?

If you answer "no" to any of those questions, stop. I understand everyone wants to say "hello", but when anything the dude says generates 3 pages of posts that say nothing, a lot of that is going to get deleted.

Here are some examples of what people like to write in response to a suspect message:

  • HI CHRIS
  • :julay:
  • wow are you a retard or something?
  • If only Chris understood the fundamentals to living a healthy life (which I am now going to detail in this five paragraph expository essay), then he would be much happier!
  • Hey, [suspect post author], you sound like you know Chris. Can you pass along my five paragraph expository essay about healthy living to him?

pls stop
 
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Null said:
I've updated the Almanac with this:

Post as if Chris doesn't read your posts.
Yes, Chris occasionally lurks on the board, but that doesn't warrant trying to talk to him directly. A lot of people will take time to write an aside trying to speak directly towards Chris. He doesn't read these. Even if he did read your post, he wouldn't digest it, he wouldn't comprehend it, he wouldn't care. Nothing you say to him [cwc=Frequently_Asked_Questions#Contact_Chris]will ever matter[/cwc]. Perhaps even more frustrating are posts that decide to be passive-aggressive about talking to Chris in such a way that is obvious to a normal reader. These posts are bizarre and fruitless, annoying and futile. You will not affect or influence Chris in any way from this forum: stop trying.
Click to expand...

I want to underscore something: Chris doesn't care about what you have to say. If for any reason you believe Chris to be the author of a post or thread, restrain yourself. Stop trying to get epik :ween: . It doesn't work out and it makes you look silly. It also carries a very big chance of scaring away the person in question when a single remark he makes about a Highschool friend generates 4 pages of different people telling him that Chris is creepy and a monster. He doesn't even read that shit.

If you think that a post/thread's author is suspect, before replying, just ask yourself this:
1. Does what I have to say contribute something new?
2. Can I summarize what I have to say in less than 5 sentences?
3. Does my post refrain from seething with bitterness and rage?
4. Is what I have to say relevant to someone other than Chris? In other words, does my message belong on a public forum, or is it a direct or indirect attempt at contacting Chris?

If you answer "no" to any of those questions, stop. I understand everyone wants to say "hello", but when anything the dude says generates 3 pages of posts that say nothing, a lot of that is going to get deleted.

Here are some examples of what people like to write in response to a suspect message:

  • HI CHRIS
  • :julay:
  • wow are you a retard or something?
  • If only Chris understood the fundamentals to living a healthy life (which I am now going to detail in this five paragraph expository essay), then he would be much happier!
  • Hey, [suspect post author], you sound like you know Chris. Can you pass along my five paragraph expository essay about healthy living to him?

pls stop
Click to expand...

Battle not with weeners, lest ye become a weener.
 
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We know Chris lurks, you'd think of all the threads to read, THIS one should be it.
 
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Alan Pardew said:
First of all, Chris trolling is tightly controlled. Some people do fucked up things, like they'll try to dox people so that they can gain Chris' trust and that's not how you do shit. Sometimes, Chris decides to listen to a white knight. Trolling also doesn't work when you have 10 different people claiming to be Alec Benson Leary or Megan or someone like that. (It happened before according to Champthom) The people who do troll Chris are very paranoid about outsiders for the right reasons, and they're not going to let any random idiot who thinks they can troll Chris. Those involved in Chris trolling are under a lot of control and there needs to be a level of trust in order to have that control. PandaHalo is still sitting on chatlogs of her and Chris playing house and that wouldn't have happened if there was better control over trolls back then.
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I'm sorry, I have to link this...

[youtube]H488GIlJWx4[/youtube]
 
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Good summary of why to not troll Chris. Besides, even if you have the best trolling plan, Chris is too paranoid to trust anyone these days. Not to sound negative, but trolling chris is beating a dead horse, it was funny, but it got REALLY creepy and disgusting later on. This site is is an archive of the whole affair, and potential future events, not a trolling website, if you want a trolling website, go to 4chan, but even they wont bother because even by /b/ standards Chris is old news.
 
Plissken said:
Good summary of why to not troll Chris. Besides, even if you have the best trolling plan, Chris is too paranoid to trust anyone these days. Not to sound negative, but trolling chris is beating a dead horse, it was funny, but it got REALLY creepy and disgusting later on. This site is is an archive of the whole affair, and potential future events, not a trolling website, if you want a trolling website, go to 4chan, but even they wont bother because even by /b/ standards Chris is old news.
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We don't need trolls. What we need are people who can witness and record Chris trolling himself.
 
CWC Tok said:
"No no no no no, only WE can kick the autistic!"
Click to expand...

I think they mean more of only we can play kick the autistic on the forum that we run, Don't steal our thunder. You have to understand that they take a big risk by doing what they do. If they got doxed it could potentially destroy their lives. If the public at large found out who they are it would look like some horrible people are stalking and bullying a poor retarded guy. They take a big risk to supply us with lulz. If they want to keep some content to themselves that no different than your neighborh making 6 dozen cookies and only giving you one dozen and keeping the rest for themselves. Would you be upset in that situation or just be grateful they thought of you and gave you some of the cookies they made?
:heart-full: :heart-full: :heart-full: :ween: :heart-full: :heart-full: :heart-full:
 
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I don't know if this has been discussed, but considering this is becoming a bit of an issue with the tryhard trolls, Has anyone considered making a cwiki page for weens and warning them? I'm not entirely sure if most Christorians come on the forums or If most of them just look at the cwiki and want to be some trolling master.
 
tobacky_vapor said:
I don't know if this has been discussed, but considering this is becoming a bit of an issue with the tryhard trolls, Has anyone considered making a cwiki page for weens and warning them? I'm not entirely sure if most Christorians come on the forums or If most of them just look at the cwiki and want to be some trolling master.
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if we've learned anything from the chris chan phenomenon it's that you can't save an idiot from himself
 
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Iamthatis said:
CWC Tok said:
"No no no no no, only WE can kick the autistic!"
Click to expand...

I think they mean more of only we can play kick the autistic on the forum that we run, Don't steal our thunder. You have to understand that they take a big risk by doing what they do. If they got doxed it could potentially destroy their lives. If the public at large found out who they are it would look like some horrible people are stalking and bullying a poor retarded guy. They take a big risk to supply us with lulz. If they want to keep some content to themselves that no different than your neighborh making 6 dozen cookies and only giving you one dozen and keeping the rest for themselves. Would you be upset in that situation or just be grateful they thought of you and gave you some of the cookies they made?
:heart-full: :heart-full: :heart-full: :ween: :heart-full: :heart-full: :heart-full:
Click to expand...
Shit, now I want cookies.
 
I know it's a hard thing to imagine, but if a handfull of people with Flash skills made a Sonichu show (and you don't have to take nor give, just staying TRUTHFULL and i would totally watch it... stoned off my ass. And love the oddness of it.) ... would that bring his attention and maybe make him do the comics again? I believe as far as positive trolling goes, that would be the best for all parts, unless i am missing the concept, so just for the sake of being sure, do we need more Sonichu? I think we do, deep in our hearts somewhere. Like a sick distorted, depraved Pee Wee's playhouse but with dirty crapped briefs...

Have this schtick ever been seroiusly plotted in the course of all the sagas and frequent Trollin' ?
 
I wasnt really implying something, Hope it didnt come out that way...
 
deeman said:
I know it's a hard thing to imagine, but if a handfull of people with Flash skills made a Sonichu show (and you don't have to take nor give, just staying TRUTHFULL and i would totally watch it... stoned off my ass. And love the oddness of it.) ... would that bring his attention and maybe make him do the comics again? I believe as far as positive trolling goes, that would be the best for all parts, unless i am missing the concept, so just for the sake of being sure, do we need more Sonichu? I think we do, deep in our hearts somewhere. Like a sick distorted, depraved Pee Wee's playhouse but with dirty crapped briefs...

Have this schtick ever been seroiusly plotted in the course of all the sagas and frequent Trollin' ?
Click to expand...

did you really just post a thinly veiled trolling plan in the thread that says don't post trolling plans
 
Nope, i just wondered if this been discussed before.

Edit: But yeah, it does sound a litte... :oops: And yeah, probably have mostly everything logical been plotted, planned and such.
 
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