Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[RedAntz]

At his sister's wedding.

And he looked like an uncooked turkey posted to a down stuffed mannequin adorned with an ill-fitting shirt.

I am not convinced that was a button down shirt. Allow me to present my evidence. First exhibit:

Now we can notice a few odd things about Bob in this photo: Number one, it appears his shirt is short sleeved. We can see straight down the jacket sleeves, and Bob's arm is bare. Second: the shirt does not appear to be pressed. The collar curves up, there appears to be noticeable wrinkles and creases. Third: his jacket is buttoned, at the reception, on the beach, in the middle of summer. Almost like he is hiding something.

Second exhibit:

Taken the day before, this image depicts Bob in a blueish gray (grayish blue?) polo shirt. A blue that appears to be almost exactly the same shade as the shirt in the first picture. In the wedding picture, the brothers match exactly except for their shirts. They have the same style suit and the same tie.

So in short, it is my belief that Bob wore a dirty polo shirt to his sister's wedding.

 

[BubbleButt]

So in short, it is my belief that Bob worse a dirty polo shirt to his sister's wedding.

Oh for fuck's sake! Fake and gay in the worst way!

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

I am not convinced that was a button down shirt. Allow me to present my evidence. First exhibit:

Now we can notice a few odd things about Bob in this photo: Number one, it appears his shirt is short sleeved. We can see straight down the jacket sleeves, and Bob's arm is bare. Second: the shirt does not appear to be pressed. The collar curves up, there appears to be noticeable wrinkles and creases. Third: his jacket is buttoned, at the reception, on the beach, in the middle of summer. Almost like he is hiding something.

Second exhibit:

Taken the day before, this image depicts Bob in a blueish gray (grayish blue?) polo shirt. A blue that appears to be almost exactly the same shade as the shirt in the first picture. In the wedding picture, the brothers match exactly except for their shirts. They have the same style suit and the same tie.

So in short, it is my belief that Bob wore a dirty polo shirt to his sister's wedding.

Can't see the cuffs of his shirt in that jacket picture, either.

 

[Judge Dredd]

Okay, now I know that going after Bob for his fashion sense is a bit of an easy target, but what the fuck is this? What made him decide "clown flag t-shirt and suit jacket" was a winning look to wear in a video? Has Bob ever been photographed wearing a button down shirt? If he wore one would he die?

I am by no means a fashion expert, but I think I know what's going on here.

We know Bob used to like wearing a trench coat and fedora because there's pictures and videos of him in the coat, and he Tweeted once about wanting neckbeards to go away so he could wear his hats again. Much like neckbeards, he thinks a trench coat and fedora will make him look like Humphrey Bogart or Neo from The Matrix, but lacks the self awareness to know that it doesn't look good on a fat person.

As for the shirt and suit, I think he's trying to walk the line between "casual nerd in an ironic t-shirt", and the sunglasses, jacket, and black and white profile image of a cool, no-nonsense critic/academic. The kind of "business casual" favored by owners of tech start ups and people who write click-bait. But it doesn't work at all. Instead he ends up looking like a kid dressing as a TV detective or someone having a mid-life crisis.

 

[Borb]

I am not convinced that was a button down shirt. Allow me to present my evidence. First exhibit:

Now we can notice a few odd things about Bob in this photo: Number one, it appears his shirt is short sleeved. We can see straight down the jacket sleeves, and Bob's arm is bare. Second: the shirt does not appear to be pressed. The collar curves up, there appears to be noticeable wrinkles and creases. Third: his jacket is buttoned, at the reception, on the beach, in the middle of summer. Almost like he is hiding something.

Second exhibit:

Taken the day before, this image depicts Bob in a blueish gray (grayish blue?) polo shirt. A blue that appears to be almost exactly the same shade as the shirt in the first picture. In the wedding picture, the brothers match exactly except for their shirts. They have the same style suit and the same tie.

So in short, it is my belief that Bob wore a dirty polo shirt to his sister's wedding.

Dude, what is up with his right leg? It looks thinner and it's solid white and doesn't just look like a sock. Did the beetus take his leg? Is that a prosthetic?

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Dude, what is up with his right leg? It looks thinner and it's solid white and doesn't just look like a sock. Did the beetus take his leg? Is that a prosthetic?

Nah, it was just the angle it was photographed at. But notice the "legs to belly" ratio in the suit pic. Skinny chicken legs under an enormous egg. If Bob worked out and got himself in shape, you'd know he'd be like one of those freaks at the gym who skipped leg day because he cares more about what he directly sees in the mirror than he cares about any part of his body not in his direct line of sight.

 

[Drunk and Pour]

Nah, it was just the angle it was photographed at. But notice the "legs to belly" ratio in the suit pic. Skinny chicken legs under an enormous egg. If Bob worked out and got himself in shape, you'd know he'd be like one of those freaks at the gym who skipped leg day because he cares more about what he directly sees in the mirror than he cares about any part of his body not in his direct line of sight.

Dude only tanned his upper body as well. Was his legs sticking out of the tanning booth like a tall guy in a tiny bed?

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

I am not convinced that was a button down shirt. Allow me to present my evidence. First exhibit:

Now we can notice a few odd things about Bob in this photo: Number one, it appears his shirt is short sleeved. We can see straight down the jacket sleeves, and Bob's arm is bare. Second: the shirt does not appear to be pressed. The collar curves up, there appears to be noticeable wrinkles and creases. Third: his jacket is buttoned, at the reception, on the beach, in the middle of summer. Almost like he is hiding something.

Second exhibit:

Taken the day before, this image depicts Bob in a blueish gray (grayish blue?) polo shirt. A blue that appears to be almost exactly the same shade as the shirt in the first picture. In the wedding picture, the brothers match exactly except for their shirts. They have the same style suit and the same tie.

So in short, it is my belief that Bob wore a dirty polo shirt to his sister's wedding.

Oh wow, you're right! Look near the knot of his tie and you see a short 'seam', but you can tell it's thicker than dress shirt material would be. He totally buttoned up a polo shirt and tried to wear it with a tie, LMAO

He almost looks like someone's suburban dad in the second pic, the kind who would call his son 'buddy' constantly

 

[BubbleButt]

Bob's Wearhouse

You're gonna hate the way you look. I guarantee it.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

Remember, he's wearing white socks with that """suit""" like some kind of obese farmer.

 

[Rei is shit]

Bounce lighting goes a long way. I know I always harp on this, but for fuck's sake, you'd think someone with 10+ years experience doing this would know that by now.

Do you think he is going to type "three point lighting" into youtube when he could be searching for super hero toy unboxings or mario head-cannon shit?

 

[Knyttet]

Bob's Wearhouse

View attachment 797808

You're gonna hate the way you look. I guarantee it.

Bob looks like a hairy egg and his brother looks like the drunken hobo you avoid eye contact with on the subway platform.

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

blimey, his head has the shape of a pear stuffed with lard
it's like a structural fault developed and all the weight slipped to the bottom

Go back to primary school Bob. Maybe then you will understand to be a fucking human being.

or, more likely, he'd mooch off classes to play Super Mario Bros 3

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

I have a theory about obese guys and T-shirts, and polos, which are basically T-shirts with collars. If you buy a real shirt, it actually has to fit, and it won't fit if you get fatter. But you can stuff infinite gut into tees/polos. It looks like shit, of course.

 

[SpiceWeasel21]

Plumbers make fuckin' bank, dude. Had a guy check on my water heater for five minutes and he made 70 fuckin' dollars.

And the training doesn't take nearly as long or cost nearly as much as it would be for him to become a doctor.

 

[Woke Blue Muttlema]

Wonder if Robert has seen this yet.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

Wonder if Robert has seen this yet.

He would advocate the everlasting fuck out of that so he can support as many megacorporations as he can at once.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Way to be a feminist, fatty.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Way to be a feminist, fatty.
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View attachment 799752

Careful, Bob. Your fantasies are getting dangerously into "want to chain her to a pipe in my basement and love her "my way" territory...

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

Careful, Bob. Your fantasies are getting dangerously into "want to chain her to a pipe in my basement and love her "my way" territory...

You almost forgot the "There are no bad tactics, only bad targets". I suppose for Bob there won't be "bad lovemaking" either, specially knowing his seething hatred for every single republican on earth.