Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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People whose entire personalities run off emotion of some kind, tend to naturally gravitate towards the left side of the political spectrum. These are also the people who by nature of this fact, go into Art/Theater/etc.
Not so much "left wing" as "anti-establishment". Art in general is about being contrary to reality, and theater and film in particular are about enacting the unreal. It stands to reason people who are working in theater and showbiz are at least receptive to, if not desiring, an overhaul of the status quo. If the status quo is endless revolutions and wall-to-wall sexual decadence, theater kids will be reviving morality plays and pinning for Acadia.

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So who will make a movie about Bobby's mom? "Uplifting" movies about moms of tards has a very loyal market.

Peter Coffin comments:
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It warms my heart that these two lovebirds have found some common ground.

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Someday we will find Biden's Rainbow Connection: the trannies, the pedos, and him.

Meanwhile David Zaslav threatens to turn CNN into a "Trumpsucker project".
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No idea what J. D. Vance or Peter Thiel has to do with The Silmarillion.
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Ted Cruz remains the conscience of America, determined to do what is right even if that would cost him votes.
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Tards continue to blame Trump for covid.
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InfraHaz has the sads, presumably due to Caleb Maupin's scandal. Now he feels that he has no message to give to our youths.
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IMBD shows that men really don't like She-Woke, women are but slightly more welcoming (source)
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Bobby thinks twerking is something that women inherently like.
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Nice to know that big-butted simian prostitutes are the "beauty standard" of our days.

Bobby thinks everyone is coombrained like him
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I'm sure Bobby would be thankful for this advice.

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Apparently not liking simian mating rituals and mating calls marks you as an immature person, if not a non-person.
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You twerk in the office and yet you wonder why people don't trust your competence?
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Although to be frank I'd have picked someone who is both less grouchy and less sexual to fill that affirmative quota.

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Jerbs.
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Henry Cavill, the pretty face who (according to Bobby) can't act, is rumored to jump ship.
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Black elf holds long grudges.
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Halloween.
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Gen-Soyer thinks Gen-Xs are a bunch of escape lunatics or something.
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Your insecurity is not the fault of men.

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Bob’s been getting a lot more bitter and angry if he’s constantly interacting with people way more popular than him on Twitter/YouTube and trying to score points on them.
Being over 40, his career in shambles, and finding it harder and harder to ignore the fact that everyone you ever respected thinks of you as a bad joke will do that to you. All he has left is the only thing he ever had: Trying to win arguments on the internet and looking even dumber because of it.
 
Being over 40, his career in shambles, and finding it harder and harder to ignore the fact that everyone you ever respected thinks of you as a bad joke will do that to you. All he has left is the only thing he ever had: Trying to win arguments on the internet and looking even dumber because of it.
And his trashy food. He didn't get diabetes from Twitter.
 
Not so much "left wing" as "anti-establishment". Art in general is about being contrary to reality, and theater and film in particular are about enacting the unreal. It stands to reason people who are working in theater and showbiz are at least receptive to, if not desiring, an overhaul of the status quo. If the status quo is endless revolutions and wall-to-wall sexual decadence, theater kids will be reviving morality plays and pinning for Acadia.

View attachment 3670658
So who will make a movie about Bobby's mom? "Uplifting" movies about moms of tards has a very loyal market.

Peter Coffin comments:
View attachment 3672909
It warms my heart that these two lovebirds have found some common ground.

View attachment 3672965
Someday we will find Biden's Rainbow Connection: the trannies, the pedos, and him.

Meanwhile David Zaslav threatens to turn CNN into a "Trumpsucker project".
View attachment 3673413

No idea what J. D. Vance or Peter Thiel has to do with The Silmarillion.
View attachment 3672957

Ted Cruz remains the conscience of America, determined to do what is right even if that would cost him votes.
View attachment 3670607

Tards continue to blame Trump for covid.
View attachment 3670666

View attachment 3672942

InfraHaz has the sads, presumably due to Caleb Maupin's scandal. Now he feels that he has no message to give to our youths.
View attachment 3670629


IMBD shows that men really don't like She-Woke, women are but slightly more welcoming (source)
View attachment 3670682

Bobby thinks twerking is something that women inherently like.
View attachment 3670601
Nice to know that big-butted simian prostitutes are the "beauty standard" of our days.

Bobby thinks everyone is coombrained like him
View attachment 3670839

View attachment 3672924
I'm sure Bobby would be thankful for this advice.

View attachment 3673401

Apparently not liking simian mating rituals and mating calls marks you as an immature person, if not a non-person.
View attachment 3673407

You twerk in the office and yet you wonder why people don't trust your competence?
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Although to be frank I'd have picked someone who is both less grouchy and less sexual to fill that affirmative quota.

View attachment 3670651

Jerbs.
View attachment 3670652

View attachment 3672940

Henry Cavill, the pretty face who (according to Bobby) can't act, is rumored to jump ship.
View attachment 3673537


Black elf holds long grudges.
View attachment 3673394

Halloween.
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Gen-Soyer thinks Gen-Xs are a bunch of escape lunatics or something.
View attachment 3673013

View attachment 3672975
Your insecurity is not the fault of men.

View attachment 3670613

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"YoU CAn'T nOT liKe TaLL GReeN WHAmeN TWerKInG!"
I can, Bob. You know why?

BECAUSE IT'S GRATUITOUS.

IMO
it's almost as bad as the episode of new Powerpuff Girls where the PPG twerked. It's not a meme, it's completely forced. Also I've never liked twerking. It's a lot of hard work, I'll give them that, but CGI twerking is some uncanny valley bullshit. All as it's there for is to give Moviebob's shrivelled, fat-buried manhood some motivation for its continued existence.

Also, AGAIN, BOB. YOU ARE NOT A GEN X. YOU ARE A FUCKING MILLENIAL.

OK, now on to the fucking steak. Because holy shit is that activating my autism hard.

First off, what the fuck, is that a steak cooked at a restaurant? Cuz if it is, holy fuck what did the person who cooked it do to it? That's not a girl-steak, that's a sped-steak. The sear on it looks like shit, and it also looks like some moron tried cooking it WITH BBQ SAUCE OR KETCHUP ON IT ALREADY. AND IT'S A FUCKING FILET MIGNON?! WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT TO FILET MIGNON? WHO THE FUCK PUTS BBQ SAUCE ON IT? God this is worse than Drumpf with a well-done steak AND KETCHUP. (But at least with Drumpf it wasn't a filet mignon, I THINK?) Bob thinks he's some connosieur of food, and he orders a ~30 dollar steak in the state that's in?! I mean my god, for that kind of money, Bob could buy a filet mignon raw, marinate it in mountain dew, and have money left over for proper mashed potatoes and shit.

Also that yellow shit on his plate next to the steak, it's a little hard to tell but it looks to me like INSTANT mashed potatoes. Also if those are mashed potatoes, where the fuck's the gravy? Bob, where are your standards? "Hi I'm BOB, I ordered a fucking Filet Mignon, I'm so classy I can afford to spend money like water on needlessly expensive steaks!" Nah, Bob, more like "Hello, I am Moviebob, I order steak like a COMPLETE FUCKING EXCEPTIONAL INDIVIDUAL." Bob, if you're going to order steak cooked that way, at least make it a fucking ribeye or something with some fat in it. Too bad he didn't cut it open for the photo so we can see whether the cook fucked up the doneness.

And also BOB YOU DIABETIC SPED STOP EATING POTATOES. Or at least, cut way WAY back.
 
I didn't even recognize that as a steak at first. I honestly thought it was a grilled fruit of some sort. It doesn't even look like a steak at all. It doesn't resemble anything meat based even. It just goes to shhow hat just because you stuff your face far more than the average person, it doesn't mean you know shit about food.

And to his point about Halloween: do you want to make me MATI, you Masshole? How would having Laurie Strode under the mask in 4 & 5 be a good ending? You're taking a babysitter character who risked her life to save little Lindsay and Tommy and then turning around and having her try to MURDER HER OWN DAUGHTER WHILE DRESSED AS HER OWN WOULD BE MURDERER?! Seriously?

I know you love The Last Jedi, Bob, but you really want to take Rian Johnson's character assassination of Luke Skywalker trying to murder his nephew and force it onto Laurie Strode, too? (I don't believe you've had this belief about what should have happened with Laurie since the 90's, you lying shit) It makes no goddamned sense in any context. Sure, the brother-sister connection between Laurie and Michael was bad (thank God the new films ditched that) and the Thorn Curse was awful, but those look like strokes of genius compared to Michael traumatizing Laurie to the point where she decides to kill her own daughter. In short: stop defaming our heroes. Let them keep their goodness at a bare goddamned minimum.
 
I didn't even recognize that as a steak at first. I honestly thought it was a grilled fruit of some sort. It doesn't even look like a steak at all. It doesn't resemble anything meat based even. It just goes to shhow hat just because you stuff your face far more than the average person, it doesn't mean you know shit about food.

And to his point about Halloween: do you want to make me MATI, you Masshole? How would having Laurie Strode under the mask in 4 & 5 be a good ending? You're taking a babysitter character who risked her life to save little Lindsay and Tommy and then turning around and having her try to MURDER HER OWN DAUGHTER WHILE DRESSED AS HER OWN WOULD BE MURDERER?! Seriously?

I know you love The Last Jedi, Bob, but you really want to take Rian Johnson's character assassination of Luke Skywalker trying to murder his nephew and force it onto Laurie Strode, too? (I don't believe you've had this belief about what should have happened with Laurie since the 90's, you lying shit) It makes no goddamned sense in any context. Sure, the brother-sister connection between Laurie and Michael was bad (thank God the new films ditched that) and the Thorn Curse was awful, but those look like strokes of genius compared to Michael traumatizing Laurie to the point where she decides to kill her own daughter. In short: stop defaming our heroes. Let them keep their goodness at a bare goddamned minimum.
"Wouldn't it be-cool and totally fitting if at the end of ALIEN 3 it turned out RIPLEY was in an Alien suit the whole f---ing time...?"
No Bob, shut the fuck up.

Heroes trauma taking them down bad roads can be a very good plot hook. But it needs 1) Very careful writing to make it plausible and satisfying. And 2) they still need to be a hero, either by redeeming themselves or having it be for a genuine greater good.

Tell you what Bob, for the second Mario film we can have Mario kidnap Princess Peach, kill Luigi and declare himself the King of the shrooms.
 
I wonder if Brainless Bob stole the concept from Friday the 13th Part V. That one is sleazy enough for him to probably remember, and it did a similar idea with Tommy at the end of it.

Mind you A New Beginning is considered one of the shittier entrances to the series.
 
Defending celebrity cameos not relevant to the plot as something that Marvel has always done...

Yeah, they are a known as a major Jump the Shark warning for a medium, especially a TV show.... a sign they are out of ideas and can't draw in viewership without a gimmick.

She Hulk lasted 3 episodes before it did it....
 
Defending celebrity cameos not relevant to the plot as something that Marvel has always done...

Yeah, they are a known as a major Jump the Shark warning for a medium, especially a TV show.... a sign they are out of ideas and can't draw in viewership without a gimmick.

She Hulk lasted 3 episodes before it did it....
She-Hulk show was never going to end well. I don't know how aware others are of this but the writer pitched it as being about a big trial, realized she didn't know how to write lawyers, and thus most of the actual lawyering in the lawyer show got removed. All that remains is the comedy you'd expect from yet another MCU thing done by another Rick & Morty writer.
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Another random tidbit I like bringing up is she got the job because she was behind an earlier pitch for the Black Widow movie which would've been about Natasha going to her high school reunion. I assume the some of the stuff about Natasha growing up in 1990s America in the final movie is connected to that even though she's not attached to the final film. Not directly relevant to She-Hulk though but still worth pointing out.
 
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Another random tidbit I like bringing up is she got the job because she was behind an earlier pitch for the Black Widow movie which would've been about Natasha going to her high school reunion.
Jeeze, first endless Prom episodes, and now this...

They say write what you know, and these people have done fuck-all since High School... and thanks to getting everything from DoorDash and Amazon, don't even know what a trial looks like enough to fake the barest trappings of it for TV, the THREE STOOGES did a trial episode for cryin' out loud, it's not that hard.

No wonder these shows have characters with superpowers who can literally punch an Abrams tank to pieces yet they just mope around the house and complain about politics... it's what the WRITERS do all day.
 
Jeeze, first endless Prom episodes, and now this...

They say write what you know, and these people have done fuck-all since High School... and thanks to getting everything from DoorDash and Amazon, don't even know what a trial looks like enough to fake the barest trappings of it for TV, the THREE STOOGES did a trial episode for cryin' out loud, it's not that hard.

No wonder these shows have characters with superpowers who can literally punch an Abrams tank to pieces yet they just mope around the house and complain about politics... it's what the WRITERS do all day.

Well you have to cut them some slack. It's not like there are any lawyers who want to break into Hollywood who could have advised them on how to write courtroom scenes. Those guys scarcely even exist!
 
Jeeze, first endless Prom episodes, and now this...

They say write what you know, and these people have done fuck-all since High School... and thanks to getting everything from DoorDash and Amazon, don't even know what a trial looks like enough to fake the barest trappings of it for TV, the THREE STOOGES did a trial episode for cryin' out loud, it's not that hard.

No wonder these shows have characters with superpowers who can literally punch an Abrams tank to pieces yet they just mope around the house and complain about politics... it's what the WRITERS do all day.
Here's an article on that Black Widow pitch if you want a look. The MCU has never been a bastion of adaptational faithfulness, the final movie's about a Harvey Weinstein stand-in after all, but it's very unusual when your source material is "Soviet era spy kept young due to Russia's own super soldier projects"

 
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"Wouldn't it be-cool and totally fitting if at the end of ALIEN 3 it turned out RIPLEY was in an Alien suit the whole f---ing time...?"
No Bob, shut the fuck up.

Heroes trauma taking them down bad roads can be a very good plot hook. But it needs 1) Very careful writing to make it plausible and satisfying. And 2) they still need to be a hero, either by redeeming themselves or having it be for a genuine greater good.

Tell you what Bob, for the second Mario film we can have Mario kidnap Princess Peach, kill Luigi and declare himself the King of the shrooms.
it amazes the shit out of me that Bob can make these exceptional, galaxy-smoothbrained suggestions regarding major franchises (Care Bears, Halloween), praising similar exceptionalism in other franchises (Star Wars), and call himself any sort of legitimate film critic/analyst. Oh he's an analyst, all right - of fucking BLUE CURTAINS. I dunno how many crayons he ate to come up with this exceptionalism. Maybe he watched too many M. Night Shyamalan movies and expects insane twists everywhere for anything to be "good". Some :epik: should ask Bob if his qualifications for a movie to be good include "Must Include What A Twist/Subversion of Expectations". Y'know, for a guy who yammers on occasionally about the lizard-brains of the MAGAnaise Ghoulen, Bob's own lizard brain appears to be working overtime.

But, maybe it's not entirely Bob's fault. Maybe it was his (mis)education. "Death of the Author" was probably HEAVILY pushed in his film studies courses. Who knows what kind of woke bullshit was shoved down his impressionable, paste-eating throat? As the Professor in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe was prone to saying, "Bless me, what do they teach in these schools?"
 
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It occurs to me that Bob is as much a movie critic as fellow fatass Jack Scalfani is a food one. Both try to pass themselves off as experts in their field while having the most pedestrian tastes possible (industrial capeshit for Bob, cheap and greasy fast food for Jack), and both make terrible review videos that don't tell you anything about the product and expose their incompetence to the world. Bob's "uh, yeah, so it was okay" is every bit as meaningless as Jack moaning "MMMMM GUD" after cramming his maw with undercooked meat.
 
Don't loose heart fren. This isn't the end. Actual slaughter of innocent people wasn't enough to sink us. An autistic man who cut off his own dick because it was his dad's dying wish may shout loudly but has none of the power or sway of actual countries. Even MTG has seem to have given up the narrative that the farms is to blame for her swating and is now just focusing on trans activists and the mainstream media lying about her, even after she was "swated a SECOND time in 24 hours. Had the operators who took the call weren't cognizant enough to recognize the gay op for being a gay op and something actually happened to MTG we'd really have something to worry about. Interestingly Bob has yet to tweet or retweet anything about that whole debacle. This is yet another challenge for the farms and us to overcome and I believe that we can and will.

I'm with you guys all the way. Chronicling this retard has been an abundance of hilarity and been a fun hobby to pick up. Pls rembr when u feel scare or frigten that at least you didn't cut your genitals off or that you're not Bob.
I just want to say and confirm for any feds listening...

I would never, EVER SWAT Bob.

Not because I have any morals, but because I wouldn't want to inflict Bob on even the worst law officer.
(well... maybe Peter Strzok or Christopher Wray - but no grunts)
 
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