Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[EnemyStand]

I'm sure Bob will have opinions on this.

I mean...I have opinions on it...STRONG OPINIONS!

Spoiler: Strong Opinions Ahoy!

Mother of God, don't fucking tell me this is supposed to be my generation's A Christmas Story, my favorite Christmas movie of all time! They missed out on everything that made A Christmas Story a classic. Adding a framing device was a terrible decision, because if you're trying to get adults nostalgic enough to identify with the main kid the LAST thing you do is use a framing device. It takes the audiences out of the action because the characters do the emoting for the audience, when the audience is supposed to emote.

Second, the humor sucks. The funny parts aren't really funny and are just overexaggerated like Jim Carrey's comedy (except for the Vietnam line, but that's not through the writer's skill). It makes you laugh, but ultimately it's forgettable. What's your favorite Jim Carrey bit? Exactly. Now, I'll allow that was the point because it was probably meant to go along with the frame, but it all smacks of "lol so quirky" humor that has little basis in reality. Jean Shepard's magnum opus worked because what humor there was was grounded. Compare the mall scenes. In A Christmas Story, Ralphie becomes a victim of a few mall workers who have been dealing with bullshit in stupid outfits all day. The angry elves and detached Santa aren't right, but as you get older you understand them and get in on the joke: these people have probably been working a double shift in an overheated, crowded mall with kids being kids while wearing stupid ass costumes: ANYONE would be frustrated at that point, and the fact that you're just a few minutes away from it all being over. It works as you get older. Conversely, the kid in this movie goes to a mall to see the Nintendos are out of stock and a janitor goes into flashbacks. That joke doesn't improve as you age, it's Bob-tier humor, and anything in a Christmas Story that was like that was CLEARLY an imagination of the main character.

Now let's look at the relationship between the father/daughter and Ralphie/The Old Man (yes, that's the actual script name of Darin McGavin's character). The girl in 8-Bit is a little snot who needs a, to quote Sean Connery "schmack in the mooth." She's borderline disrespectful to her father, but that's because she's not written like a kid. She's written like an adult that happens to be played by a kid. Shitty Christmas movies do this all the time: they make a kid character who's wise beyond their years and just so much more mindful and thoughtful than their idiot parents. Now, this would NORMALLY work for a comedy family movie (it's not, but I'll get to that) except with HER as the main character with a narration as opposed to being in the frame and the story being about her dad's childhood. Compare Ralphie: the narration seems to be teasing the Old Man a lot (especially when he talks about the furnace), but it's gentle ribbing born from an adult understanding of why his dad seemed a bit goofy to him and is ultimately respectful. So his goofy moments can be enjoyed by everyone, as opposed to the kid-centric sarcastic bashing the girl in 8-Bit seems to get into.

One more point and I'll end this: A Christmas Story is a family movie. 8-Bit Christmas murdered the concept and wears it as an ill-fitting skinsuit to market to immature 30-something MEN with kids. Ultimately, it comes down to how the movies treat the characters. Everyone in a Christmas story is sympathetic. Kids may not understand why the adult characters act the way they do, but the adults do. As the kids who liked the movie get older, they understand more and more about everyone in the movie. Why did the teacher give Ralphie a bad grade? Because his report sucked. You wouldn't catch that as a kid. Why is his dad aloof? Because he's more worried about his wife and kids not starving or freezing to death. Actually: why does his dad love the stupid-ass leg lamp so much? Because he was excited he won something and wanted to show it off, PLUS it was something that was HIS. Not his wife's, not his kid's. Any married guy and even some single dudes understand what I mean by that. The list of examples goes on, and as you grow in life you get more and more context for everyone's actions. Conversely, everyone acts the way they do in 8-Bit because that's how they're supposed to act. Mom and Dad are jerks who don't care about kid shit, the kids are the put-upon heroes, and the bully is mentally unhinged because he just is, OKAY? It's all just so...clean and tidy. Everyone acts how you expect them to, and nothing is ever surprising. So kids and everyone who hasn't matured since the 90s will love it, while everyone else will see it as it is: an attempt to form a holiday classic in the most cynical, cookie-cutter way possible.

In the end, people will watch true classics like Elf and A Christmas Story. Manchildren and their kids will watch it: the soydads will laugh at the clueless manchild dad whose daughter constantly dunks on because in their case it's true, and the kids will love it because the kids are heroes and adults suck. In 5 years, no one will think anymore about it despite these people's best efforts: A Christmas Story will still play uninterrupted for 48 hours on cable, kids will still like Elf better, and it will make everyone who remembers it say "Yeah, you know...Jingle All the Way was actually funny even if it was a plotless romp through Schwarzenegger butchering the English language."

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

TL;DR- EnemyStand writes an essay about why the movie will suck based on the trailers, still a better critic than Moviebob.

 

[Laughingjoke2]

Because to him only Adam West or the Superfriends takes counts due to mentally challenged and dishonest reasons. These reasons are literally just nostalgia, but he won't admit it.

It's also because serious batman has deaths, blood, and those are scary to this genuine emotional and mental exceptional individual.

The great thing about Batman as a character from a creative standpoint is his versatility.

From comics to film no matter his dark origins, to the Zany 50's stories, to Denny O'Neill and Neal Adam's bringing the Dark Knight back, to Miller or on film with Adam West and Superfriends or BTAS to Burton vs Schumacher vs Nolan vs Snyder. You'll never hear "Not Muh Batman" like you do with Superman who is almost rigidly defined as the Big Blue Boy Scout and anything less if not an Elseworlds is rejected by most and Blobby not acknowledging that shows he's a moron.

But what is really perplexing about Bobert's take is I'm slightly older than Blobby making me a Gen-Xer and him a millennial suck it Bobert. & yes my 1st Batman was Adam West and Superfriends but the Batmen who definded my childhood were Keaton's Batman and Conroy's Batman not West and I loved Adam West. So seeing a man or should I say Manchild younger than me cling to that interpretation of the character is so fucking weird.

 

[Mola Ram]

get the feeling the protagonist might be based a bit on Bob. The trailers

Not possible. The protagonist clearly has children and lives in a house, not a moldy basement.

 

[Koby_Fish]

1) I don't know about that, Bob. Your parents childrearing produced an exceptional manchild who believes mass-produced capeshit is high art and an equally exceptional middle child who wants to be like big brother. Your sister appears to be the smartest one as she is not on Twitter, but that doesn't say much when it comes to the Chipman clan AKA New England's white trash.

2) Oh no! A gelatinous blob is making nebulous threats! Whatever shall I do? The most Bob can do to his critics is block them because no one buys his "Boston tough" act. Hell, I'm useless in a fight and I could probably kick Bob's ass.

What I find completely BOB about it, is Bob, while claiming he has Perfect Pitch Comprehension, fails completely when attempting to comprehend the dude's tweet-question, sees "neck myself" in the context of what niece or nephew might hypothetically do if exposed to CRT/"diversity-antiracism training", and goes straight to "HOW DARE" as if this was a threat of violence against the family by the guy. Stupid doesn't even cover it. That was so far beyond stupid of Bob and straight into mindnumbing shortbus paste-consooming crayon-eating, blue curtain analyzing exceptionalism, it's a wonder that Bob can function.

Also, sounds like Bob's anti-neck-self plan is "If you consoom correct product, and stay excited for next products, you won't WANT to neck yourself".

Obviously, Moviebob has forgotten the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If Bob sees attacking the families of people he loathes as an acceptable tactic, then his family qualifies as fair game for collateral damage at a bare minimum.

---

Obvious statement is obvious.

ADDENDUM: This also goes under "[Moviebob] is really stupid":
View attachment 2688160
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I have questions:

Did Bob even watch the video? Did Bob not notice that this is a family of twelve? Did Bob not see this family buying cereal? Did Bob even take note that that this family was actually making their own meals instead of that 3,500-calorie "small McDonald's meal"? Could it have occurred to Bob that this family uses milk as an ingredient in baked goods? Does Bob ever research pricing data around the nation*? And why the ever loving FUCK is it a bad thing for cow's milk to cost as little as $2.00 per gallon?

Stupid Moviebob is REALLY FUCKING STUPID!

*Living in SoCal, a store-brand gallon of milk at Wal-Mart used to go for about $2.25 within the past two years; the same product now costs about $2.75.

OK, this shit by Bob here is pissing me off. SERIOUSLY.

Fellow Canadian Kiwis will know what I'm talking about here, in Canada, dairy products are STUPID-EXPENSIVE due to quasi-commie "Supply Management" which artificially controls both the amount of milk and milk products available, while jacking up prices "for the farmers" (read: Multimillion dollar Dairy Cartels like Agropur and Saputo).

You yanks have it at 2-3 bucks a gallon? You have it easy. Our (non-organic) milk is almost 5 dollars a gallon, or over 5, depending on where you buy it. We don't even have food stamps/SNAP for the poor to buy this incredibly overpriced milk. Instead of doing idiotic supply management, US directly subsidizes farmers, which at least helps the poor (who don't qualify for EBT/SNAP) to afford milk. Bob's so stupid and ignorant, he doesn't realize this, and that it's part of why milk can be 1.99 a gallon. It's also because in places like walmart, milk can be a "Loss Leader", priced down to get people into the store to buy other things as well.

What, was bob taking that episode of the simpsons with "Malk", or the one with the school milking RATS, seriously? In reality, milking anything OTHER than a cow is going to be way more expensive. Ask anyone who's ever had to find Goats' milk. Cows have the most capacity of milk production of any land mammal capable of being domesticated. The very idea that milking any other animal than a cow would be cheaper than milking a cow is so incredibly braindead, I feel compelled to light a candle for Bob's one remaining ganglial neuron. Thinker, my ASS.

EDIT: IN B4 bob backtracks at some point with "That was a joke, bruh", but no, that's not a joke (that doesn't piggyback off the Simpsons, which is fictional fantasy), because in order for it to be funny, it would have to actually be cheaper to milk something other than a cow, which is impossible.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Bob wonders how Mike Stoklasa feels about people using his likeness in a reaction macro

https://twitter.com/thekinocorner/status/1456285494187335690

The Santapilled Kino Corner on Twitter: "SHE WON AN OSCAR!… "

archived 4 Nov 2021 16:34:19 UTC

archive.ph

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1456288277116358665

Like Kurosawa, I Make Mad on Twitter: "I really do wonder how Mike (a…

archived 4 Nov 2021 16:34:07 UTC

archive.ph

Real genius take "I wonder how Mike feels about people using his likeness to mock the thing I like? I bet he hasn't even seen it which probably makes this illegal or unethical"

I'm pretty sure the RLM reactions images go far beyond mere mocking of cinema. I'm pretty sure that the RLM crew goes out of their way to be as humorous and exaggerated as possible just for the memetic quality. That is one of the reasons RLM is so popular and will be remembered for quite sometime even after they all go their separate ways. One of the other reasons is that they're talented and fun. Bob's legacy stops they day twitter's gone.

The replies

 

[make_it_so]

I swear, every time Bobo is shit-talking about Batman, it's like watching a lil' kid angrily stomp his feet while yelling "BATMAN SUX!!! BATMAN IS DUMB POOPY HEAD!!! MUH MCU ISH BETTAH!!!!"

Because that's exactly what it is.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

So bob is scared of big ol anime tibbies i wonder has bob ever seethed about manga sales and how popular it with the 30 and under crowd?

No, he's fine with large anime milkers and I don't think he particularly cares about the manga vs. comics debate. Despite his attempts to show how much he knows about comics, he's really only into capeshit for the MCU.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Mike doesn't strike me at all to be the sort who would be bothered by people using reaction images of him.

He's not a terminally online loser like Bob. Not everybody in this field is as humorless about themselves as him.

Mike is like Santa Claus himself compared to Moviebob.

 

[Adamska]

But what is really perplexing about Bobert's take is I'm slightly older than Blobby making me a Gen-Xer and him a millennial suck it Bobert. & yes my 1st Batman was Adam West and Superfriends but the Batmen who definded my childhood were Keaton's Batman and Conroy's Batman not West and I loved Adam West. So seeing a man or should I say Manchild younger than me cling to that interpretation of the character is so fucking weird.

Bob has a psychological breakdown and left gaming forever in a fit because the North American instruction manual lore for Mario was deemed non-canon. On top of that, despite how he tries to hide and pretend he isn't still angy about it, he still occasionally lets it slip that Mario is still from Brooklyn in his mind, and tries to justify it when he struggles to read a Nintendo interview.

Bob makes Chris' Blarms tard out look smart, since he does it every time to shit he likes without fucking fail. He also is just as prone to believing that he can break reality and enter the Mushroom Kingdom, he just realized at the age of 15 he couldn't do it without VR.

Not possible. The protagonist clearly has children and lives in a house, not a moldy basement.

He couldn't be completely based on Bob because then it'd be a tragedy and horror film. They're trying for comedy, and might have spliced both Chipmans together in a Brundlefly creation.

 

[make_it_so]

I thought the RLM guys had already made it clear what they thought about people like Bob and his fanbase.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I thought the RLM guys had already made it clear what they thought about people like Bob and his fanbase.
View attachment 2688614

Does Bob even actually watch RLM?

I don't know how he could and still have a take about Mike that's so off-base.

 

[make_it_so]

Does Bob even actually watch RLM?

I don't know how he could and still have a take about Mike that's so off-base.

Doubtful - RLM is probably too high brow for him.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

For someone's who only job is to write things, Bob is a horrifically bad writer. Whenever he has to write something longer than a Tweet, it's also full of purple prose. There's lots of overly-dramatic, maudlin, Max Payne-esque poetic descriptions of things that don't warrant it. There's also lots of unnecessary detail, non-sequitur tangents that don't add anything or go anywhere, and just general bloat that's only there to make his paragraphs longer.

That little script snippet is probably the most efficient example of it I've ever seen. He mentions Marvel and then feels the need to list the names of a bunch of people who founded the company in the 1960s, as if that's pressing or helpful information. He really wants it to look like he's smart and a prolific writer, but has to resort to endless padding to get there.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

For someone's who only job is to write things, Bob is a horrifically bad writer. Whenever he has to write something longer than a Tweet, it's also full of purple prose. There's lots of overly-dramatic, maudlin, Max Payne-esque poetic descriptions of things that don't warrant it. There's also lots of unnecessary detail, non-sequitur tangents that don't add anything or go anywhere, and just general bloat that's only there to make his paragraphs longer.

That little script snippet is probably the most efficient example of it I've ever seen. He mentions Marvel and then feels the need to list the names of a bunch of people who founded the company in the 1960s, as if that's pressing or helpful information. He really wants it to look like he's smart and a prolific writer, but has to resort to endless padding to get there.

Bob dismisses anybody who criticizes his writing style as being an "anti-intellectual" who's afraid of big words.

 

[Adamska]

Bob dismisses anybody who criticizes his writing style as being an "anti-intellectual" who's afraid of big words.

Brevity is the soul of wit, which means stop wasting my time ~ Bill Shakeman

But in reality, Bob knows he's stupid, and tries to obfuscate it in longwinded garbage. When called out on it, he then just tries to brag about that thesaurus he looked up and how you clearly don't know what the word he misused means.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Yeah, I'm sure RLM hates that people take their obviously acted out reactions and give them free advertising.

Rich Evans cringes in fear every time he sees himself slumped over in a chair.

Its not like Mike and Jay have vocalized how fucking bored of superhero movies they are anyway.

 

[make_it_so]

For someone's who only job is to write things, Bob is a horrifically bad writer. Whenever he has to write something longer than a Tweet, it's also full of purple prose. There's lots of overly-dramatic, maudlin, Max Payne-esque poetic descriptions of things that don't warrant it. There's also lots of unnecessary detail, non-sequitur tangents that don't add anything or go anywhere, and just general bloat that's only there to make his paragraphs longer.

That little script snippet is probably the most efficient example of it I've ever seen. He mentions Marvel and then feels the need to list the names of a bunch of people who founded the company in the 1960s, as if that's pressing or helpful information. He really wants it to look like he's smart and a prolific writer, but has to resort to endless padding to get there.

It's like in college when you had a minimum word/page count for an essay, so you padded it out by going on and on describing a single point that you could've made in one or two sentences.

Brevity is the soul of wit, which means stop wasting my time ~ Bill Shakeman

But in reality, Bob knows he's stupid, and tries to obfuscate it in longwinded garbage. When called out on it, he then just tries to brag about that thesaurus he looked up and how you clearly don't know what the word he misused means.

Bob has no wit, and given his vile tweets I have serious doubts about his soul as well.

 

[Giga_Nigga_28]

Coming from the SJW thread (thank you @NoReturn) is proof that marvel movies rot the brain.

Also proof that Vaush is the third chipman brother?

Two clowns arguing about whether live leak clips or fucking Marvel movies are more accurate predictors of human behaviour. Online debate lords are so embarrassing.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

Also proof that Vaush is the third chipman brother?

While we are talking about bloated, hairy manbaby retards Vaush is worse than MovieBlob!

Blobert is a retard and an asshole, but he didn't defend fucking Child Porn unlike Vaush!

Vaush could be considered a distant cousin of them, the asshole kid that fell on their heads as a baby lol!

>Moviebob believes that he, a movie reviewer on youtube, is a "thinker"
What a guy

I don't really discriminate, there are writers out there that started as truck drivers, soldiers, manual workers and other not so intellectual crafts. If a wise man on a lowly job has wise thoughts and behaves maturely, he can be a thinker!

You don't need to be a philosopher or anything of the sort to be a thinker, but MovieBlob for sure fucking isn't lol!

 

[make_it_so]

While we are talking about bloated, hairy manbaby retards Vaush is worse than MovieBlob!

Blobert is an exceptional individual and an asshole, but he didn't defend fucking Child Porn unlike Vaush!

He put up a serious defense of Cuties.

Of course, that may have been more due to the fact that the "wrong" kind of people opposed Cuties, because Bob is a tribalistic subhuman smooth-brained retard who supports or opposes stuff based entirely on which "team" supports or opposes something, rather than basing it on any kind of personal intellectual or moral conviction. Which he's probably incapable of having.