Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Red Hood]

"I have a life, I just don't feel the need to tell you! I also have a girlfriend, you just haven't seen her because she lives in Canada!"

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(Thanks, @Kyria the Great.)

What if there's a universe where Bob got a baseball mitt instead of a Nintendo, growing up to lead a normal life. Would you still drown him before that juncture to prevent the current timeline?

It doesn't shock me to see that Bob is shitting on the new Top Gun film for having a discussion about the modern day use of drones. Bob's essentially an absolutist when it comes to these types of discussions. Any scientific advancement that can be made should be made and any invention that gets invented should be used as much as possible.

Any discussion about the overuse of drones, their effectiveness in battle or the ethical debate they bring with them is just ghoul gibberish that needs to be shut down and ridiculed.

Plus, Top Gun is about fighter pilots, not bomber pilots. I don't see where the ethical debate would really even enter into that, it's more just "old fashioned skill vs High Tech".

 

[Gordon Cole]

What if there's a universe where Bob got a baseball mitt instead of a Nintendo, growing up to lead a normal life. Would you still drown him before that juncture to prevent the current timeline?

Can you imagine if Bob was the normal brother with a wife and kids, and Chris was the sperg? Or if the sister was the sperg?

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

Plus, Top Gun is about fighter pilots, not bomber pilots. I don't see where the ethical debate would really even enter into that, it's more just "old fashioned skill vs High Tech".

Bob's the type of internet expert who thinks the same way the people who brought us the shit-show the F-22 originally started out as. That all planes are multi-role and one-size fits all. It's a plane, so it must be a bomber, a fighter interceptor, a spy-plane, a close air support platform, and able to kill brown people with its shadow.

The more Bob tweets, the more obvious it is that he's probably lucky he graduated high school.

 

[X-Shaped Weeaboo]

Bob's the type of internet expert who thinks the same way the people who brought us the shit-show the F-22 originally started out as. That all planes are multi-role and one-size fits all. It's a plane, so it must be a bomber, a fighter interceptor, a spy-plane, a close air support platform, and able to kill brown people with its shadow.

Please don't suggest that life is more complicated than it seems and that there's careful and occasionally difficult nuance to almost everything and why things are they way they are, it scares "Superior Future" citizens like MovieBob into thinking they won't actually be able to grow Moon Wheat.

 

[Woke Blue Muttlema]

Yeah Bob pretty much has a Cargo Cult like worship of Technology. He's been called a Technocrat in this thread but I don't think thats entirely accurate.
He has all the beliefs of one but deep down his love of the "Future" is nothing more than empty tribalism because his "side" is for advancement unlike the other "side" I guess.
A better metaphor is that Bob is nothing more than a primitive in awe of fire.

I think in the original description of his blog he calls himself a technocrat, although it means applying science to social matters rather than applying technology. I think that has other name.

 

[Red Hood]

Please don't suggest that life is more complicated than it seems and that there's careful and occasionally difficult nuance to almost everything and why things are they way they are, it scares "Superior Future" citizens like MovieBob into thinking they won't actually be able to grow Moon Wheat.

I may dust off my long-unused homebrew equipment to develop a wheat ale called Moon Wheat. It's too tempting not to try. But I mean, would you buy a bottle of beer with that fat smug face on it?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I may dust off my long-unused homebrew equipment to develop a wheat ale called Moon Wheat. It's too tempting not to try. But I mean, would you buy a bottle of beer with that fat smug face on it?

I know someone sent up a can of beer to space to test the effects of space on it, and of course they tasted it. So it might be possible to ship wheat to the moon and back, and then use that to make said ale.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

it scares "Superior Future" citizens like MovieBob into thinking they won't actually be able to grow Moon Wheat.

What would Bob even do with the Moon Wheat anyway?

 

[Red Hood]

What would Bob even do with the Moon Wheat anyway?

Make moon bread for moon burgers.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Make moon bread for moon burgers.

But how would he make his moon burgers greasy?

 

[Red Hood]

But how would he make his moon burgers greasy?

In addition to an endless supply of salt I hypothesize Bob must be quite greasy as well.

 

[Kyria the Great]

"I have a life, I just don't feel the need to tell you! I also have a girlfriend, you just haven't seen her because she lives in Canada!"

View attachment 513344
(Thanks, @Kyria the Great.)

It actually isn't mine, though I had to bring it up to remind people what a true jackass Bob Chipman is.

 

[Zaryiu]

Again, for those curious about Venom's history. (yes Carnage is in there too)

What cracks me up is thinking about this bit:



So would Bob have been far more accepting of Venom if they were one of Spidey's few female adversaries? Would he be falling all over himself talking about another female superhero movie?

(and part of me always wonders, why none of the alt takes on spidey - like the Ultimate universe - ever try experimenting with this alt venom take - or is that Spider-Gwen's venom?)

Sheesh that would have been bad, imagine how edgy and badly written eventually

 

[Gordon Cole]

"Gamers are all losers! LOSERS!"

I never thought I could love commies the way I love Rose Twitter whenever they go after Bob.

It's a district that's been red for 30 years. What were you realistically expecting?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I never thought I could love commies the way I love Rose Twitter whenever they go after Bob.
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It's a district that's been red for 30 years. What were you realistically expecting?
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If Bob keeled over and died at this moment, no one would have a drop of sympathy for him. You made your bed, champ, now go lay in it.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Good thing screenshots are forever, eh big guy?

 

[RockVolnutt]

"Gamers are all losers! LOSERS!"
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Is this even true? I mean Bob's a massive MCU fanboy and Kevin Feige is always getting praised for being well acquainted with the source material and we've heard of James Gunn giving the GotG staff comic recommendations like how they should avoid the recent Guardians written by Bendis. Bob himself, despite telling us "It don't mattah", is always trying to come off as more well-read then he is so clearly he thinks it's an advantage even if he doesn't admit it.

Only thing I've ever heard similar to "fanboys get the boot" is how industries like animation tend to laugh at people who don't realize they'd be doing a job and instead think they'll be paid to watch cartoons all day with their friends. I would imagine most companies either don't care or see it as a minor plus that they wouldn't have to get you up to speed.

 

[lechatnoir]

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Good thing screenshots are forever, eh big guy?
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I'm relatively new to following Bob, but he really doesn't get the whole "treating people like shit makes them rebel," does he?

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

I'm relatively new to following Bob, but he really doesn't get the whole "treating people like shit makes them rebel," does he?

Bob has trouble grasping the concept of cause and effect in addition to being an especially cruel bully. He loves kicking the dog, but cannot comprehend why it would bite back after the abuse he hurls at it. His entire world view revolves around the assumption that the people he hates will simply cave in to his every whim without any resistance. Any attempt to get him to see the error of his was will only get scorn and derision believing that his snarkiness will make him look witty. No, it just makes him a clueless moron. The best part of it is that you don't have to engage him to get a laugh. Bob and his sycophants are so fucking delusional that it's a never-ending psychotic episode.

 

[Pokemonquistador]

I'm relatively new to following Bob, but he really doesn't get the whole "treating people like shit makes them rebel," does he?

That's only one of the things he doesn't get, apart from:

~How movies are made, their history and craft.
~Any history at all, really...
~How human relationships work.
~How to spend a vacation in an exotic locale while not hunched over your smart phone 24/7.
~How to get a girl to agree to go on a date with you.
~How brevity works.
~How basic physics and biology work (Psst: Ask about Moon Wheat.)
~How to meme.
~The function and purpose of cities and why trying to turn all of Earth into Coruscant would result in mass starvation.
~How to make a movie pitch without sounding like an unhinged lunatic. ("It's the Care Bears Meets Paradise Lost! It's a sure hit!")
~How to get people not related to you to like you.
~How to spend time with your family without looking like an awkward golem.
~How to self-treat Diabetes. (Hint: Deep-friend patio turkeys and booze are a no-no.)
~How to have an accurate self-image. (Ie: Not calling other people inferior when you're a fat blob.)
~How to craft an iconic look. ("Nintendo T-shirts worn under a Frankenstein suitjacket. That'll get me noticed!"
~How not to be a hateful, punchable human being. (We're almost at 1500 pages now, and Bob has not changed one iota since the first page! )

Indeed, one of Bob's defining features is his inability to change, no matter what the circumstances. A death in the family? A time for self-reflection? A time to learn about empathy and compassion? Nope! Bob's still playing Nintendo, tweeting about pop culture and ranting about the Mayonnaise Ghouls of the Midwest even as his family member's body is growing cold.

His favored candidate for President loses in a landslide race? A time to think about how things could have been done differently? A time to consider reaching out to those across the political aisle and seeking out ways to find common ground? Nope! Time for more Nintendo and more Mayonnaise Ghoul ranting!

Oh, little catperson... Think of Bob Chipman's Kiwifarms thread as the Hellraiser box. We have SUCH SIGHTS to show you!