Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Oh it's tearing him up inside. This is the man who has admitted he basically gaslit himself into liking the Bob Haskins Mario movie because he couldn't tolerate the idea of a Mario property being bad. An ok Sonic movie existing before a decent Mario live action movie is figuratively killing him.

Imagine having to gaslight yourself into liking something, Hell that movie wasn't even that bad. It wasn't a good -MARIO- movie, but it was a passable sci-fi flick that had more good ideas to it than bad. This guy is such a joyless sack of shit he actually has to perform mental gymnastics to make himself like a decent movie.
 
Bob can go suck it. Sonic the Hedgehog is tracking to outpace Detective Pikachu as the highest grossing opening for a video game movie. Given that Sonic has little competition until March, the film looks like it will dominate the box office for rest of the month.


That said, I saw Sonic the Hedgehog earlier today and I thought it was pretty good. Hardly top-notch cinema, but Jim Carrey was back to top form and it had me laughing at a couple parts to say nothing of the the references they jammed in for the fans. Hell, the mid-credits scene had me jumping from my seat in pure joy as a longtime fan of the franchise. Bob's review demonstrates how he has shit taste. Shit taste in food. Shit taste in fashion. Shit taste in movies. I will proclaim "Chipman's Law" that states, "Chances are (film/television show/etc.) is awful if Bob Chipman likes it and chances are it's good if he hates it."

Granted, this not an ironclad law. Bob can like something is legitimately good, but his reasons for doing so are in part due to his ideological leanings (because wants to ingratiate himself to the woke crowd) or prejudices. As many people has previously noted, he dislikes Sonic because of the old Nintendo/Sega rivalry and thus it must grind his gears that the hedgehog put out a film the public likes before the plumber. No, Sonic never had a defined backstory in the games, but he DIDN'T NEED ONE. Jesus, Bob, the whole point of the Genesis games were to run from Point A to Point B as quickly as possible. Mario is the same damn thing. No one gave a flying fuck where Mario came from while they were playing SMB3, you simpleton.

I suspect that Bob hates Sonic's theatrical success because Paramount listened to the fans instead of mocking them or calling them names. He has made his disdain for populism painfully obvious for years now. Sonic the Hedgehog is refutation of everything he believes in and Bob cannot abide by anything that conflicts with his version of reality.
 
Bob can go suck it. Sonic the Hedgehog is tracking to outpace Detective Pikachu as the highest grossing opening for a video game movie. Given that Sonic has little competition until March, the film looks like it will dominate the box office for rest of the month.


That said, I saw Sonic the Hedgehog earlier today and I thought it was pretty good. Hardly top-notch cinema, but Jim Carrey was back to top form and it had me laughing at a couple parts to say nothing of the the references they jammed in for the fans. Hell, the mid-credits scene had me jumping from my seat in pure joy as a longtime fan of the franchise. Bob's review demonstrates how he has shit taste. Shit taste in food. Shit taste in fashion. Shit taste in movies. I will proclaim "Chipman's Law" that states, "Chances are (film/television show/etc.) is awful if Bob Chipman likes it and chances are it's good if he hates it."

Granted, this not an ironclad law. Bob can like something is legitimately good, but his reasons for doing so are in part due to his ideological leanings (because wants to ingratiate himself to the woke crowd) or prejudices. As many people has previously noted, he dislikes Sonic because of the old Nintendo/Sega rivalry and thus it must grind his gears that the hedgehog put out a film the public likes before the plumber. No, Sonic never had a defined backstory in the games, but he DIDN'T NEED ONE. Jesus, Bob, the whole point of the Genesis games were to run from Point A to Point B as quickly as possible. Mario is the same damn thing. No one gave a flying fuck where Mario came from while they were playing SMB3, you simpleton.

I suspect that Bob hates Sonic's theatrical success because Paramount listened to the fans instead of mocking them or calling them names. He has made his disdain for populism painfully obvious for years now. Sonic the Hedgehog is refutation of everything he believes in and Bob cannot abide by anything that conflicts with his version of reality.
It’s anti-marvel and Anti-Sony filmmaking. Showing that “the creator’s vision” isn’t actually as important as he claims it is. And like other including myself has said, it’s glory that Mario couldn’t get. Average at best is better than horrible
 
It’s anti-marvel and Anti-Sony filmmaking. Showing that “the creator’s vision” isn’t actually as important as he claims it is. And like other including myself has said, it’s glory that Mario couldn’t get. Average at best is better than horrible
Hold up Sony is listening to fans for Ghostbusters: Afterlife.

You don't have a situation like with GBATC where they're shitting on people. Hasbro also polled fans for what toys do they really want and it's all classic GB stuff and Animated Series Ghostbusters characters.

They're making a new toy of The Transforming Haunted Toilet Ghost. That shows real fan outreach.

Also a new Firehouse and huge Ecto-1 toy are coming.
 
It’s anti-marvel and Anti-Sony filmmaking. Showing that “the creator’s vision” isn’t actually as important as he claims it is. And like other including myself has said, it’s glory that Mario couldn’t get. Average at best is better than horrible
I think the big thing that will utterly destroy him though is if the Minions company makes a bad Mario Movie that utterly fails to match Sonic though.

Destroy him in the sense he'll tard ramble for 8 hours on why the Sonic movie is Ghoul movie that hates da Sooperiah Fyootur while his autism magnet is not. Also show utter contempt for the audiences for rejecting it if it does badly enough too.

Oh yeah, I can tell you part of the reason why he hates Sonic as a movie is because:

In it Sonic actually loves the little town he hides in and well, tries to convince Tom the Cop that he should not move to San Francisco, because it's crazy he wants to leave such an awesome place and abandon his friends just to get exposed to danger and fear as a beat cop. He actually gets very upset and angry over the idea that someone would chose risk and fear over leaving peace and the country.

Robotnik is also very much a Moviebob kind of SI, since he's an insane manchild who trusts machines far more than humans and loves to brag about how everyone else are stupid lumps of meat compared to him. Even stated how brains always triumphs over brawn and relates an "I nearly killed my 5th grade bully" story where he built robots to beat up a bully who punched him. Very Bobbo like, especially with the shades and duster he wears.
 
Hold up Sony is listening to fans for Ghostbusters: Afterlife.

You don't have a situation like with GBATC where they're shitting on people. Hasbro also polled fans for what toys do they really want and it's all classic GB stuff and Animated Series Ghostbusters characters.

They're making a new toy of The Transforming Haunted Toilet Ghost. That shows real fan outreach.

Also a new Firehouse and huge Ecto-1 toy are coming.
I would disagree. They’re marketing it differently, but other than not being all women, it’s still that same ass “appeal to zoomers instead of our real fans” crap. I’m sure it’ll be decent-ish in the end, but let’s just be real and admit that ghostbuster was a good movie but never a good franchise


I think the big thing that will utterly destroy him though is if the Minions company makes a bad Mario Movie that utterly fails to match Sonic though.

Destroy him in the sense he'll tard ramble for 8 hours on why the Sonic movie is Ghoul movie that hates da Sooperiah Fyootur while his autism magnet is not. Also show utter contempt for the audiences for rejecting it if it does badly enough too.

Oh yeah, I can tell you part of the reason why he hates Sonic as a movie is because:

In it Sonic actually loves the little town he hides in and well, tries to convince Tom the Cop that he should not move to San Francisco, because it's crazy he wants to leave such an awesome place and abandon his friends just to get exposed to danger and fear as a beat cop. He actually gets very upset and angry over the idea that someone would chose risk and fear over leaving peace and the country.

Robotnik is also very much a Moviebob kind of SI, since he's an insane manchild who trusts machines far more than humans and loves to brag about how everyone else are stupid lumps of meat compared to him. Even stated how brains always triumphs over brawn and relates an "I nearly killed my 5th grade bully" story where he built robots to beat up a bully who punched him. Very Bobbo like, especially with the shades and duster he wears.
That’s explains a whole fucking lot, holy shit.
As for illumination’s Mario, it’ll do well. Regardless of quality(there movies tend to have none) illumination excels at making movies that are just pure fun with little social commentary. In today’s animation market, that’s surprisingly rare, so they basically capitalized on a huge underserved market segment and then go all in with massive ad campaigns. Mix that with Mario’s almost universal appeal(not intended pun) and you have a guaranteed hit even if it’s bad. Bob can and will safely lie to himself when it comes out and smashes records
 
In it Sonic actually loves the little town he hides in and well, tries to convince Tom the Cop that he should not move to San Francisco, because it's crazy he wants to leave such an awesome place and abandon his friends just to get exposed to danger and fear as a beat cop. He actually gets very upset and angry over the idea that someone would chose risk and fear over leaving peace and the country.

Robotnik is also very much a Moviebob kind of SI, since he's an insane manchild who trusts machines far more than humans and loves to brag about how everyone else are stupid lumps of meat compared to him. Even stated how brains always triumphs over brawn and relates an "I nearly killed my 5th grade bully" story where he built robots to beat up a bully who punched him. Very Bobbo like, especially with the shades and duster he wears.

You know, if it was anybody else, I would say it's ridiculous to think someone would hold some grudge or malcontent against a silly videogame movie over some perceived social messages that are up to interpretation.

But since we are talking Robert, yeah... that's his ball park alright...

I don't give a single fuck for what he thinks about the Sonic movie, it's been years since I took his word for anything, or any movie reviews in general, but even for the low bar of movie criticism, this is sad.
 
Bob would be a dead ringer for for Robotnik when I think about it, especially with those stupid shades he wears indoors. All he needs in a bushy red mustache though there's nothing we can do about his intelligence. He will always be a dumbass.
Not to mention the mistranslation of him being a womanizer being turned into him being a feminist.
 
Doggo movie made Bobby think of his Dad :feels:
(Chris retweets his last tweet)

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Speaking of Chris. He hosted a movie showing party, yet someone is conspiciously absent:
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But Bobby joined Chris's Oscar party, and as a man of taste he guessed 17 awards right:
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And what kind of delicacy lured our cultural elite out of his basement?
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Doggo movie made Bobby think of his Dad :feels:
(Chris retweets his last tweet)

View attachment 1147148

Speaking of Chris. He hosted a movie showing party, yet someone is conspiciously absent:
View attachment 1147149
View attachment 1147151

But Bobby joined Chris's Oscar party, and as a man of taste he guessed 17 awards right:
View attachment 1147153
View attachment 1147154

And what kind of delicacy lured our cultural elite out of his basement?
View attachment 1147161
The Powerade Turkey Thanksgiving pictures with the Popcorn Watermelon bowl were more tasteful and classy than this.

Seriously BWW? And not even bothering with a catering platter? Chik Fil A will cater if you absolutely must do fast food. Bon Chon does it as well.

I mean they could have also found a local non-chain place to get the wings.

I think they bought the veggie sticks because they like lying to themselves, no way in hell were those eaten by the time the night was over.
 
Doggo movie made Bobby think of his Dad :feels:
(Chris retweets his last tweet)

View attachment 1147148

Speaking of Chris. He hosted a movie showing party, yet someone is conspiciously absent:
View attachment 1147149
View attachment 1147151

But Bobby joined Chris's Oscar party, and as a man of taste he guessed 17 awards right:
View attachment 1147153
View attachment 1147154

And what kind of delicacy lured our cultural elite out of his basement?
View attachment 1147161
Jesus the average BMI in that room has to be north of 40%
 
first off, "horny moviebob" is not something I want to think about. second, nobody on earth can possibly believe moviebob has had any physical experience with actual human women beyond hoverhanding Anita Sarkeesian in a picture or two. third, back the fuck off piggy they're mine.
hornybob1.pnghornybob2.png
 
first off, "horny moviebob" is not something I want to think about. second, nobody on earth can possibly believe moviebob has had any physical experience with actual human women beyond hoverhanding Anita Sarkeesian in a picture or two. third, back the fuck off piggy they're mine.
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Why is this creepy obsolete white entitled male-gazing incel objectifying strong independent womyns like that? Yikes, not a good look!

Also please archive embarassing tweets that he might delete. (1) (2)
 
Speaking of Chris. He hosted a movie showing party, yet someone is conspiciously absent:
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Out of eight people present in this room, four are morbidly obese, two are obese or at the very least overweight and only two (or one? We don't get a good look at the guy behind the Boogie1488 lookalike) are of somewhat normal BMI.
Apparently, the main reasons we don't get more presidents from Brainland are beetus and strokes.
 
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