Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Smithfield Ham]

Well, according to this video about 18th Century cooking, putting stuffing into a bird before you cook it is a relic of the time when birds used to be roasted over an open fire - that way, the stuffing and juices from the bird would drip down, keeping the bird moist. It's generally agreed now that stuffing a bird isn't good when you're baking the bird in an oven, and there are even people who think it's dangerous because the interior of the bird doesn't reach as high a temperature.

How is it that dirt peasants from 200 years ago who literally lived in houses built from clay and dead trees knew more about cooking than the Chipman clan does with all of its access to modern technology?

Because their entire lives were about working to survive, whereas folks like Chipman have machines that wipe their ass all day.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Well, before the holiday disappears completely, it's time to open our hearts and be generous to the lolcow who makes all of this possible.

Here, Bob. Here's a Thanksgiving card for you:

The next time you're wishing death upon the children of your enemies, think of this lovely year and all the blessings it has given you...

 

[Coccxys]

I know a couple of people with similar feelings towards the white working class as Bob (while ignoring their entire family meet that definition). They were ripped by the "popular kids" all though school and told constantly that it doesn't matter because after school they'll be the successful ones while those people who bothered them will all be failures. Then after school they realised nothing changes and those who can build networks excel while the lonely "intellectual" stays sat rejected like they always were. Their promised amazing future never came to pass so they sit there feeling bitter about their tormentors who have long forgotten them succeeding. It doesn't help they did pointless degrees while the people who gave them shit went off to trade school, got married, had kids etc further increasing the "success gap" between them.

 

[Raiken]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! That's horrifying! It looks like a prop you'd see in some Resident Evil ass laboratory. How, just how, do you fuck up bad enough to create something that awful?

Images like this make me miss my gramps and how he deboned the entire bird

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I’m going to try not to wander into MATI territory here, but the absolute state of that house is even worse when you consider that at least one of their children is autistic. External order is essential for inner calm in most people, autistic or not, but especially for children. Raising neurotypical kids in chaos is bad enough. Pumping an autistic child full of meds while neglecting her basic care and sense of safety at home is fucking abuse. If anyone comes close to being subhuman, it’s Robert’s brother and his wife. And I guarantee Robert hasn’t done shit to try to improve conditions for his niece, either.

 

[blablabla]

chipman cooking is proof that they are sub human retards who in the superior future would be shoot on sight

 

[Sped Xing]

+ + + +
Thanksgiving chez Le Chippa:
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This is so haram that Bob needs to be called out for islamophobia.

 

[Captain Marvelous]

If Godzilla vs. King Kong going to streaming pisses him off hard, wait til you see him go nuclear if Disney decides to dump Black Widow on Disney+. That would be such a treat to have.

I don't even care if Godzilla vs. Kong only goes to streaming. That movie still looks awesome, and I really want to see it.

 

[Uncle June]

I'm fairly surprised that neither of these freaks ever sperged about how Thanksgiving is a holiday that supports colonialism, and how it ravages Native American culture. I guess since there's food involved they don't really care.

 

[AnOminous]

I’m going to try not to wander into MATI territory here, but the absolute state of that house is even worse when you consider that at least one of their children is autistic. External order is essential for inner calm in most people, autistic or not, but especially for children. Raising neurotypical kids in chaos is bad enough. Pumping an autistic child full of meds while neglecting her basic care and sense of safety at home is fucking abuse.

It reminds me of Borb raising Chris-Chan in a hoard filled dump. Look how he turned out. At least the Chimpmans are raising another lolcow for us.

I'm fairly surprised that neither of these freaks ever sperged about how Thanksgiving is a holiday that supports colonialism, and how it ravages Native American culture. I guess since there's food involved they don't really care.

This is why the Woko Haram crusade against Thanksgiving will never succeed. They will never get the fatties that most SJWs are behind anything that gets in the way of a solid week of eating enormous feasts.

 

[Bumwine]

+ + + +
Thanksgiving chez Le Chippa:
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Why do Bahstanians love to slather savory foods with candies or soda?
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And the postmortem:
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Well maybe we shouldn't be so hard on Chris.

>A Turkey who looks like something from Hellraiser
>A fucked up way of cooking it
>Leftovers for the homeless (Sure Chris,sure)

When I posted saying that the Chippas are Jack Scalfani's half brothers I was joking........

 

[Kane Lives]

But but but The Democrats are the party for cultural advancement! They will bail out all cinemas!

When challenged for his hypocracy, Bobby went into what his opponents called "hyperventilating tone". Here is the unedited screenshot to show how huffy he is, and for the ease of reading I'll post the text following this.
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In other words, the director (auteur) has no right stipulating how his work should be shown; doing so is just him being "pretentious". Bobby knows more about the *nature* of a certain film more so than the studio that release it.

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As if anyone needs an excuse to dislike Bob.

+ + + +
Thanksgiving chez Le Chippa:
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Why do Bahstanians love to slather savory foods with candies or soda?
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It is not just you who needs a "bigger safety blanket"; everybody does. And you need a damn good reason (hint: your blu-ray raffle draw and your "skanking" to your theme song are not) to persuade people to give up their own safety blanket for your benefit.

Bobby can find nothing to thank for, so he cracks open a long-expired can of platitudes.
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Our PhD in Communication is on a hard place again:
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It seems "Learn to Code" isn't a viable path if you are a troon. Must be that pesky thing called "transphobia"

I will never get the fascination of these tards of mixing processed sugar with their meat. Who the fuck puts sprinkles on turkey?

 

[AnOminous]

>Leftovers for the homeless (Sure Chris,sure)

When I posted saying that the Chippas are Jack Scalfani's half brothers I was joking........

What is this lolcow thing about lying about giving leftovers to the homeless? Who the fuck seriously thinks even homeless people want someone else's gnawed on garbage? If they want that there are dumpsters behind grocery stores where they can get shit still in packages. This is the kind of shit people who have never even talked to a homeless person would say.

 

[Mola Ram]

What is this lolcow thing about lying about giving leftovers to the homeless? Who the fuck seriously thinks even homeless people want someone else's gnawed on garbage? If they want that there are dumpsters behind grocery stores where they can get shit still in packages. This is the kind of shit people who have never even talked to a homeless person would say.

If you want to feed the homeless on Thanksgiving, take your fat Masshole ass down to a goddamn soup kitchen, shelter, or church, and volunteer to cook and serve. Preening about tossing your garbage to the beggars like you're some kind of medieval aristocrat is repulsive.

 

[BubbleButt]

The real question is: Did Bob make more of his disgusting chicken skin mac and cheese?

 

[Bland Crumbs]

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And the postmortem:
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Well maybe we shouldn't be so hard on Chris.

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Did they just obtain that fridge? It looks way to clean to belong to them. Though there is a chunk of something on the bottom so that makes it seem more theirs. Does it seem to be quite a small refrigerator to anyone else?

As mentioned that is not how you cook a turkey and what is up with the medicine windowsill in the background? Tubes of various ointments and various generic pill bottles. Pass the Vagisil and Exlax! Everything is wrong with that picture including the grout. Either they chose a super dark color which was a mistake or it has never been well cleaned.

 

[Chad Holdenford]

I’m going to try not to wander into MATI territory here, but the absolute state of that house is even worse when you consider that at least one of their children is autistic. External order is essential for inner calm in most people, autistic or not, but especially for children. Raising neurotypical kids in chaos is bad enough. Pumping an autistic child full of meds while neglecting her basic care and sense of safety at home is fucking abuse. If anyone comes close to being subhuman, it’s Robert’s brother and his wife. And I guarantee Robert hasn’t done shit to try to improve conditions for his niece, either.

And remember, these are people who consider Trump supporters, Republicans and self-professed conservatives a bunch of backwards-ass retards who can't make a good decision to save their lives.

If you want to feed the homeless on Thanksgiving, take your fat Masshole ass down to a goddamn soup kitchen, shelter, or church, and volunteer to cook and serve. Preening about tossing your garbage to the beggars like you're some kind of medieval aristocrat is repulsive.

That takes effort, and it is a natural enemy of the Chipmans. Why go to a place farther than a couple of steps from your front porch if you can feel good about yourself with a couple of tweets.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

What is this lolcow thing about lying about giving leftovers to the homeless? Who the fuck seriously thinks even homeless people want someone else's gnawed on garbage? If they want that there are dumpsters behind grocery stores where they can get shit still in packages. This is the kind of shit people who have never even talked to a homeless person would say.

Let's be real here, we've seen the size of Chris and Sarah. They're big people. Those leftovers aren't going to the homeless, they're going to be consumed. I'd be surprised if there's much left in a couple of days. Much quicker if Bob comes by to visit.

 

[Water-T]

*looks at how the turkey started out, FACEDESK FOREVER*
Oh for the love of pete. Now that I see how it started out, I know exactly what went wrong.

For starters: butter goes UNDER the skin. Sure you can rub some over top, but NOT leave it as square pats when you do that. It's actually better to NOT butter the top of the skin, but have it all under the skin instead. It's easy enough to slide a dull dinner knife between the breast and the skin at the cavity opening and wiggle it around to create a pocket on each side of the breast for the butter (maybe mixed with some sage and thyme or poultry seasoning), then stuff the butter under that. Any turkey-cavity fat that I have, I place in after to hold the butter in place because that takes longer to melt. It's also possible to loosen the skin around the thigh/drumstick and stick butter between the skin and meat there. Heck, sometimes I go whole hog and make pockets in the loose skin of the wings. Plus I always go under the skin of the back of the turkey from the neck side and put saged butter up in there, too.

God I HOPE that's pepper on the top of the bird and on the butter... (AND WHY IN THE FUCK IS DEEP WOODS OFF IN THE DAMN KITCHEN ON THE COUNTER WHERE PEOPLE COOK?)

Who taught these spergs how to sew a turkey shut? Not only is that a safety hazard the way the tips of the skewers are exposed, but since they're so incredibly poorly anchored it's no wonder it didn't stay together. The most effective way is to have the ends of the skewers buried into the actual meat. I go one step further and use the skewer itself to hold the skin of the breast and the bottom skin together as if I was sewing (but using the skewer as the thread) instead of bothering with fucking twine and then jamming the pointy end into the lower part of the breast as far as I can make it go to hold it secure AND IT FUCKING WORKS. In this way I can close off a turkey cavity with only two skewers, but I don't even bother stuffing it anyway as my purpose is instead to close off the skin of the breast at the cavity opening so all the butter doesn't drain out. I do pretty much the same with the neck side on the back of the turkey, although up there I'll put any giblets (except the neck) that came with the turkey in the cavity above the breast, along with more butter as this keeps the breast moist. I can just do dressing in a separate pan or stovetop stuffing on.........hear me out...... a pot on the stove.

Also LOL at the one lone feather bit sticking out of the wing.

I'm not surprised that the Simper Hornio Bros have no idea of what to do with breasts, despite Blob owning a pair since childhood.

The DeepWoods OFF is the Chimpman family secret for the perfect Thanksgiving turkey....and creating children with deformed faces like Blob.

 

[SerizawaMaya]

Let's be real here, we've seen the size of Chris and Sarah. They're big people. Those leftovers aren't going to the homeless, they're going to be consumed. I'd be surprised if there's much left in a couple of days. Much quicker if Bob comes by to visit.

to be fair they're probably not fat because they eat these disgusting turkeys. I wouldn't be surprised if they did give away/throw out that food and then go to mcdonalds the next day