Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

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How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Bobby fantasizes about another man's balls.
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You know what is even more ironic? Bobby calling Tucker Carlson "failson".
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No context; failson Robert must have failed at quote-tweeting.
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Criticizing journos is adjacent to rape culture:
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Robocop fantasies:
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From what I understand, Bobby thinks the proles are "resources" to be "managed" and "processed", presumably by BIPOC hexagender elites.

Bobby is having a violent gym-class flashback:
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And their own country is China.

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Bobby is mad at Peppa Pig, because it gets in the way of his plan to induct his nep and niece to the glory of Godzilla.
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It makes me shudder that some of Bobby's orbiters are actually parents.

Bobby anticipates a "sexy" character in Powerpuff Girls.
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MCU:
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DC Capeshit:
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Mah Angels' video games!!!
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Apropos of nothing, but you have just described Picture Show Roberto and his relationship to the MCU.
The MCU is already starting to creak under the weight of oversaturation and the first bonafide flop in its catalogue is coming down the pipe. Bobert will stick to like it glue as it slips away from popularity because it's the one thing that gave him even a bit of notoriety in the field that didn't involve some infamous statement.
On a side note, I watched the Critical Drinker's review of Wandavision yesterday:
Knowing nothing about it aside from random tidbits, his summary of how the show went isn't surprising to someone like me who saw pretty much all the MCU films up to Endgame: interesting premise, does some things well, then falls apart in the eleventh hour as it succumbs to the worst of the MCU's excesses (big dumb capeshit fight, shoehorned characters to remind you of the shared universe, obligatory setup for future crap). And he got that point across in ten minutes while keeping the video entertaining.

Meanwhile, Bobby has produced nine videos on Wandavision over the past couple months, totaling almost two hours of time, and probably referenced it in others that I'm not going to bother to check. In all that, he probably did little more than gargle Disney's balls (and of course, claim that it's on par with David Lynch's work; not even close, Blobbo).

And just to hammer home who's the more effective critic:
  • Drinker's video has racked up almost 350k views in a single day, and his channel recently broke 700k subscribers.
  • Even added altogether, Bobby's videos still only have 262k views combined, and none of them have more than 35k views. Many of these videos have been up for several weeks, if not close to two months. Bobby's channel is still not growing any, shedding a thousand more subscribers every month or two.
Y'know, for someone who claims that being a critic is their job, Blobbo sure could've fooled me.
He keeps yapping how he's necessary and earned a superior future, he's a massive irrelevancy in his own field. Drinker hasn't been on YouTube for that long in comparison to Bob, yet he's already far more popular than him. In fact, practically every other YouTube critic that he's disparaged has gained a larger following than him. Looking at his videos and overly enthusiastic consoomerist ways, it's not hard to see why.
 
I’m no MCU fanboy, so forgive me if I don’t remember or not, but wasn’t Ultron created by the laziness of Tony Stark and proceeds to psychologically mess around with the others?
iirc Ultron was originally meant to be a sentient AI that Stark tried to basically force to be the earths bodyguard, who rebelled against him because he knew Stark would either subjugate him or kill him. It's somewhat murky because a lot of scenes about Ultrons character and story were cut out of the movie, no one is really sure why.
 
The MCU is already starting to creak under the weight of oversaturation and the first bonafide flop in its catalogue is coming down the pipe. Bobert will stick to like it glue as it slips away from popularity because it's the one thing that gave him even a bit of notoriety in the field that didn't involve some infamous statement.
My money is on that flop being The Eternals as I feel that the success of Guardians of the Galaxy for an unknown property was a lightning in a bottle moment.

There’s also the fact that Thanos is gone and isn’t an Eternal in the MCU as he was in the comics.
 
I would defend the early stuff to a degree. I accidentally found the show on KTMA on Thanksgiving in 1988, near the end of episode one. It was a new concept to take Rocky Horror style audience participation outside Rocky Horror. It was near-zero budget TV on a channel barely better than community access cable, even at Comedy Channel. But that's all long gone and you're never catching that same energy ever again trying to do the same thing over and over.

It just lived on too long after its soul had gone, and just yelling shit at movies isn't enough. But, autism loves brand loyalty. I was interested for ten minutes when Joel was talking about reviving it but Patton Oswalt being involved did nothing for me.
I love MST3K. I prefer Mike over Joel. The new stuff on Netflix is almost insufferable. Don't get me wrong, the jokes are funny but they never SHUT THE HELL UP! I'm reminded of the gag from the Plinket review of Ghostbusters where a producer played by Rich tells Paul Feige played by Jack that if nobody's talking then nobody's laughing. Any time that no one on screen is talking the riffers are bombarding you with jokes and never give you or the jokes any time to breathe. It's super disappointing. The Rifftrax stuff has become incredibly formulaic. "Oh that's X. I'm sorry, by X I really mean Y.". The first has no restraint and the latter is just lazy. Comedy is hard, I get it, and today so many people are unable to understand it that putting in the effort seems hardly worth it.

Now that I think about it I don't know if I've ever seen Bob talk directly about it outside of a Big Picture he did years ago when Joel announced the kickstarter. I know there was a little bit of a push two or three years ago to denounce MST3k because it helped raise a generation of people, read men, who only mock art, read Ghostbusters and other trash, and tare it down. I wanna say he retweeted Sady, now troon Jude, Doyle when she complained about it.
 
There’s also the fact that Thanos is gone and isn’t an Eternal in the MCU as he was in the comics.
Thanos actually predates the Eternals by 5-6 years in the comics and was retconned into becoming one.

But yeah, I also expect Eternals to be a flop. There is so much gender/race swapping in the film and an LGBT lead, which sounds like blatant pandering and the "buy product, get excited for next product"-style promotion irritates me. Then there is Shang-Chi, which is obviously pandering to the Chinese market. Any akers on whether that one will fail?
 
My money is on that flop being The Eternals as I feel that the success of Guardians of the Galaxy for an unknown property was a lightning in a bottle moment.
GotG had a lot of good going for it, I'd say half the reason it was so popular was just the soundtrack. It was also about the first and only MCU movie to dabble in slightly less morally righteous characters, and the scifi tone really stood out from the pack. Eternals has nothing to differentiate it from the rest of the MCU.
 
This movie is introducing the original version of The Mandarin after butchering that character in Iron Man 3, but I can’t bring myself to care as Tony Stark is dead.

I gather it's not a popular opinion, but I really like Iron Man 3, and think it's one of the best MCU movies.

I just find it very entertaining.

Probably because I like Shane Black movies.
 
My money is on that flop being The Eternals as I feel that the success of Guardians of the Galaxy for an unknown property was a lightning in a bottle moment.

There’s also the fact that Thanos is gone and isn’t an Eternal in the MCU as he was in the comics.
My money is on that flop being The Eternals as I feel that the success of Guardians of the Galaxy for an unknown property was a lightning in a bottle moment.

There’s also the fact that Thanos is gone and isn’t an Eternal in the MCU as he was in the comics.
Mine’s on Black Widow. The fact that there’s hardly been any promotion for this (not help of the pandemic) and Disney is going to dump it in theaters while theaters barely reopen with strict guidelines isn’t going to help it.

But that’s not going to stop Bob from running down to his local movie theater to see it.
 
GotG had a lot of good going for it, I'd say half the reason it was so popular was just the soundtrack. It was also about the first and only MCU movie to dabble in slightly less morally righteous characters, and the scifi tone really stood out from the pack. Eternals has nothing to differentiate it from the rest of the MCU.
At the end of the day everyone knows the only reason this Eternals shit started was because FOX kept denying Disney the X-Men. Nobody is going to give a shit about their discount and mediocre X-Men and they don't have enough campiness or visual appeal to make them interesting for the market. Only thing this shit pile has going for it is serving as clickbait material for journos about how 'wonderfully progressive' this crap is then blaming any failure on bigotry and whatnot.

Anyway, I think the MCU has just about reached its end, especially with how convoluted its lore is starting to get and how tedious its getting to follow this shit, much like with the comics. They'll either ride this sinking ship all the way through or they'll hit the continuity reset button and come up with something crappier that initially does well but sinks faster. Meanwhile Bob sits at home and praises everything regardless of what decision Disney makes because its the right thing to do in the eyes of the consumerist monopolies.
 
I gather it's not a popular opinion, but I really like Iron Man 3, and think it's one of the best MCU movies.

I just find it very entertaining.

Probably because I like Shane Black movies.
Despite hating how it handled the Mandarin, I also liked Iron Man 3. It pushed the capabilities of Iron Man further, gave Tony an opportunity to learn more out of armor skills, had some character development, and did a decent job of delivering the Extremis plotline, which is one of my favorites.

I feel like if they stuck to Extremis instead of muddying the waters with the Mandarin, it would be considered one of the best MCU movies.
 
But that’s not going to stop Bob from running down to his local movie theater to see it.
I don't know. I think MA is still mostly locked down, Bob still hasn't gotten the first of his two shots, and I'm hearing now that there's a possible shortage of vaccines. As much of a bitch he's pitched about not being safe I can't see him venturing out in the nest month or so until he gets the okay from daddy Government. Though Bob has never been one for congruity or honesty so who knows.
 
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