Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Keep in mind though that during the PS1 era (And to a lesser extent, PS2 era), there was a LOT of sour grapes from Nintendo fans (And hell, the President of Nintendo himself) over Square and...just about every RPG developer ditching the Big N for Sony due to the sheer amount of space a CD offered over the N64 cartridges.

So, Bob, being a Nintendo fanboy, might not speak much of RPGs due to the big JRPG Gap Nintendo suffered through.
I can sort of understand how WRPGs would just require too much creative work for him to enjoy. Guy is still enamored with the artistic implications of Super Mario, he doesn't have the brainpower to enjoy being the Nerevarine, full stop.

JRPGs I could see him being able to pretend better, but it's still gonna be a countdown until he can no longer stand an ideological/philosophical story that doesn't lean on purging the undesirables.

"Queen Zeal in Chrono Trigger did nothing wrong." Blob, probably.
 
I can sort of understand how WRPGs would just require too much creative work for him to enjoy. Guy is still enamored with the artistic implications of Super Mario, he doesn't have the brainpower to enjoy being the Nerevarine, full stop.

JRPGs I could see him being able to pretend better, but it's still gonna be a countdown until he can no longer stand an ideological/philosophical story that doesn't lean on purging the undesirables.

"Queen Zeal in Chrono Trigger did nothing wrong." Blob, probably.

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"Look at these backwards Mayo Ghouls living in the past, instead of in the SUPERIOR FUTURE in the sky, in Zeal!"
 
Keep in mind though that during the PS1 era (And to a lesser extent, PS2 era), there was a LOT of sour grapes from Nintendo fans (And hell, the President of Nintendo himself) over Square and...just about every RPG developer ditching the Big N for Sony due to the sheer amount of space a CD offered over the N64 cartridges.

So, Bob, being a Nintendo fanboy, might not speak much of RPGs due to the big JRPG Gap Nintendo suffered through.
"Sony, going on to create their own console after Nintendo abandoned them at the alter with their pants down was just horrible. Those developers who were strong armed into developing only for the super nintendo or be banned from working with them completely were just ungrateful bastards. RPGs originated on the PC therefore will never be real nintendo." - Bob "Gas the Ghouls" Chipman
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"Look at these backwards Mayo Ghouls living in the past, instead of in the SUPERIOR FUTURE in the sky, in Zeal!"
Here, let me tell you how Lavos is actually a stand in for the patriarchy...
 
They know, but they still think they're special somehow in a way that it won't affect them.
To be more exactly, they think they'll have the UN/Canada/Europe come to their rescue and put down the rebellion in the coastal cities, while bombing Middle America into oblivion and starving them while their allies provide them with foodstuff and protection while the lefties implement their final solution to the Kansas/Middle America question.
 
To be more exactly, they think they'll have the UN/Canada/Europe come to their rescue and put down the rebellion in the coastal cities, while bombing Middle America into oblivion and starving them while their allies provide them with foodstuff and protection while the lefties implement their final solution to the Kansas/Middle America question.
It's incredibly cute of leftists to imply that there wouldn't be food riots in the big cities within 24 hours of war being declared.
 
Yeah, Korea really seems like a pretty vindictive country. That one screenshot just goes to further show how much they are in that regard, and how easily they find amusement in it.

Gotta say, it makes me really embarrassed of my heritage, given all the really bitter things that the Koreans have said regarding Japan and the like. Seriously, wanting tons of innocents dead just because of things that happened almost a century ago? Okay yes, Japan should own up to their past, but hatred and the like isn't going to do that. If anything, it'll make Japan less willing to apologize, as why would they want to do so to a country that clearly hates them so much?


They get so enthralled by all the technology and the like that they tend to overlook just how crappy the living conditions in those dystopias truly are.

Should note that these folks also suffer from Renaissance Fair Delusion Disorder*. Which is the syndrome where in any dystopian setting, people will cosplay and pretend that they'll be in the elite class, not the serf class and cosplay/pretend as such.

*The phrase comes from an old cliche about people who go to Renaissance Fairs/medival cosplay groups; a copypaste from the early 00s once noted that these kind of fanboys of Renaissance Fairs/medieval shit ALWAYS cosplay at these events as though they were the elite nobility and dress as such with fancy medieval clothing and garb and claiming they accurately portray the era. When in truth, if they were actually trying for PROPER realism, they'd all be dressed in rags and potato sack bags and barefoot/covered in dirt/fecese due to that being what 99% of the medieval population looked and dressed like.

Not only that. I remember certain recounts during the whole Daughters of Egalia shitshow that in South Korea there was a considerable sector of the population that wanted to murder and anhialate North Korea to the point that they would want absolutely no sort of reconciliation with the north even if that was possible.

Yeah; South Korea doesn't want reunification with North Korea, because it would be an economic and social apocalypse for South Korea due to the utter extent to which the North Korean population has been mindraped into utter helplessness (to the point that everyone over the age of 10-12 is a lost cause and will NEVER integrate into normal society), but the economic strain of having to feed/house/retrain/etc North Korea's population would begger South Korea and kill all of their prosperity.

Every indication is that Bob has no interest in RPGs, or JRPGs, and while I'm neutral-to-negative on the latter, I'm profoundly grateful he doesn't tend to venture anywhere near the genre, whether East or West.
Given that Final Fantasy 7 famously was the game where Square jumped ship to Sony after years as Nintendo exclusive, combined with the fact that Square taking FF7 to the PS kicked off a literal apocalypse with third parties shunning Nintendo for the PS due to Nintendo refusing to switch to CD format for the N64, I would have to think that Bob considers FF7 to be the embodiment of high treason against Nintendo and why Nintendo isn't the dominant Alpha Male system anymore as far as it being the death blow that "killed" his beloved Nintendo and allowed his enemies (IE the dudebros) to win the console war once and for all.
 
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Should note that these folks also suffer from Renaissance Fair Delusion Disorder*. Which is the syndrome where in any dystopian setting, people will cosplay and pretend that they'll be in the elite class, not the serf class and cosplay/pretend as such.

*The phrase comes from an old cliche about people who go to Renaissance Fairs/medival cosplay groups; a copypaste from the early 00s once noted that these kind of fanboys of Renaissance Fairs/medieval shit ALWAYS cosplay at these events as though they were the elite nobility and dress as such with fancy medieval clothing and garb and claiming they accurately portray the era. When in truth, if they were actually trying for PROPER realism, they'd all be dressed in rags and potato sack bags and barefoot/covered in dirt/fecese due to that being what 99% of the medieval population looked and dressed like.
Not to mention that the elites of those days were hardcore military veterans with their families having had centuries' worth of military service ever since one of their long-dead peasant ancestors in the Dark Ages picked up a stick to fight in an army and got promoted on the battlefield.

So if anything, a modern remake of Medieval/Renaissance Aristocracy would have an entire class filled up with guys like Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket being your regional princes and dukes, except they actually have the legal right to beat you, whether or not you're in the army. Which basically would be Moviebob's nightmare come to reality-the Call of Duty-esque military elites having legal power to beat people and collect taxes in their specific regions? Social norms and etiquette determined by guys with guns instead of foppish liberal elites who spend thousands of dollars on fluff courses about Marxism and feminism? Oh, the horror!

Also, note that the whole "people covered in shit" nonsense only happened post-Black Death when people got really suspicious of going to have a bath, because after the Bubonic Plague, they believed bathing opened up the pores on your skin and allowed diseases in. The early to middle parts of the Medieval era had people bathing just as they did in Ancient Rome, because they saw their civilizations as continuations of Ancient Rome.
 
This may come as a shock to Bob and those he simps for, but China is a Potemkin Village on a national scale. Outside of carefully curated areas for tourists (like Beijing and Hong Kong), China is a backwards, rural shithole (they will literally eat animals alive out there, and they see nothing wrong with it.) On top of that, the disastrous One Child Policy has led to the Chinese population consisting largely of middle-aged men- an aging population that cannot be replaced quickly. China resorts to whataboutism because, if people began looking too closely, they'd realize the CCP rests on a foundation of sand. The CCP's power is largely an illusion, one aided and abetted by the West. If the West actually pushed, the Chinese house of cards would collapse.


Presented without comment.
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The relationship of various Asian countries is basically a free for fall poo-slinging fight.
They get so enthralled by all the technology and the like that they tend to overlook just how crappy the living conditions in those dystopias truly are.
Those people, such as Bob, are perfectly described in this image.

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The relationship of various Asian countries is basically a free for fall poo-slinging fight.
Basically, they resemble the Italian City-States during the early Renaissance, with all their rivalries and intercene warfare. The only reason they haven't started shooting each other yet is because it would involve superpowers like Russia and America and it could involve nukes. But if it wasn't for that, you can bet your ass these nations would be waging wars against each other as if it were seasonal sports.

Those people, such as Bob, are perfectly described in this image.

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If anything, cyberpunk societies are usually dystopian. Trademarks of the Cyberpunk genre include:

-People becoming more and more like machines, losing what makes them human and becoming just another cog in a larger machine force, taking the first step from being recognized persons into being commodities on the market.

-Corporations outgrowing legal boundaries and becoming nation-states on their own in all but name, usually vassalizing what's left of a formerly democratic government to turn it into a corporate state.

-A new form of sapient, robotic/AI life that enters this world as exploited slaves used to feed the pleasures of a decadent human elite, setting things up for a future android rebellion against their decadent meatbag owners.

-City life becoming even more grimy and chaotic than it already is today.

-People who are not tuned into tech networks becoming social pariahs.

-Crime statistics going up the ass due to the innovation of new cyber-crimes and a flourishing black market for rare technology, androids, and cyborg parts being fueled by techno-theft.

Anyone who thinks that a cyberpunk future is something to look forward to is a complete moron. Cyberpunk isn't a futuristic ideal, it's futuristic tech gone mad. And of course, MovieSlob wouldn't figure that truth out even if he gets lobotimized and turned into something resembling a 40K Servitor so that the company can save money on resources instead of building a new high-tech android servant.
 
Holy shit is this bad. And of course the only thing Robert of Movies knows, or can remember, about Morrison's Animal Man is the end part where Morrison self-inserts and talks to Buddy and not say the other 25 issues which were way more influential and formed the basis for how everyone has done Animal Man since, including the longer runs that eventually defined him as an animal avatar ala Swamp Thing's plant avatar role. (Which became the standard take on Animal Man going forward.) I also like how he talks up this "definitive take" to show he's in the know but then says "they should just do a superhero action-comedy movie (and make fun of Snyder)" which is completely 180 degrees from the series which is more about nearly everything else except the superheroing. It'd be completely missing the point of Morrison's Animal Man to adapt it as a "regular superhero" movie (let alone an action-comedy) or to make it about superhero movies. It's more of a story about a father trying to learn what's morally right so he can be a better father. (Which is where Morrison comes in, Buddy expects the AUTHOR to have the answers, but all Morrison has for him is more questions. Plus veganism.)

For what it's worth, there are only FOUR things people remember about Morrison's Animal Man run:

1. A Wile E Coyote rip-off who is a metaphor for Jesus story
2. First appearance of the second Mirror Master (who Morrison EXPLICITLY wrote as being Scottish, to the point that it is his sole defining trait especially when Morrison writes him)
3. The first "proper" Crisis sequel which resolves Psycho Pirate's fate and saw the final official appearance of the original Crime Syndicate (and who's ending was ignored by all later writers)
4. The whole meta ending with Buddy meeting Morrison after Buddy's family is killed off/resurrected at the end of the run

Outside this, the run is 100% forgettable tripe and really, the only reason the ending itself has endured is due to the fact that it was a clever novelty at the time. And even then, it created a trope of sorts where Buddy's family kept dying and coming back for trauma congo line reasons and led to Animal Man being declared off limits to the greater DC Universe when the book became part of the Vertigo line. It's one of the reasons DC has had trouble selling trades of the Morrison run too, as outside the one and done omnibus collection of the Morrison run, the first couple of Morrison trades tend to sell badly and there being large gaps between volume releases due to poor sales.

It's incredibly cute of leftists to imply that there wouldn't be food riots in the big cities within 24 hours of war being declared.
That's why one of the "the left will win Civil War 2" always lean heavy into the idea that the international community will support the Democrats and that they'll fly food supplies to keep the coastal cities well fed while the farmlands are bombed into oblivion and Middle America starved because "they don't have friends in other countries/access to the ports".
 
Keep in mind though that during the PS1 era (And to a lesser extent, PS2 era), there was a LOT of sour grapes from Nintendo fans (And hell, the President of Nintendo himself) over Square and...just about every RPG developer ditching the Big N for Sony due to the sheer amount of space a CD offered over the N64 cartridges.

So, Bob, being a Nintendo fanboy, might not speak much of RPGs due to the big JRPG Gap Nintendo suffered through.
i didn't have too many sour grapes over Final Fantasy going over to Playstation. A friend of my bro's had a PS1, then we got our own, and the fact of final fantasy VII being on PS1 solidified the decision to go Playstation rather than N64 (and bro had another friend with an N64 so we could play Goldeneye all we wanted).

Bob I'm assuming doesn't like RPGs because he doesn't like D&D board games, or old skool PC games like Castle Adventure, which he doesn't like because he's a passive media consoomer; he doesn't think. RPGs are no match for bob's smooth galaxy brain.
 
That's why one of the "the left will win Civil War 2" always lean heavy into the idea that the international community will support the Democrats and that they'll fly food supplies to keep the coastal cities well fed while the farmlands are bombed into oblivion and Middle America starved because "they don't have friends in other countries/access to the ports".
They don't realize that those leftist countries barely have enough food to feed themselves. And many other countries in Africa and Asia despise leftist ideals and would sooner have the cities starve to death. Many people across the world have more in common with Middle America than with the leftist elites in the cities who would try to sell gender theory or feminism to patriarchal cultures who stone gay people to death.
 
I mean, Bob would gladly buy into the crap the evil corporation in Cyberpunk 2077 sells. Who cares that they will steal everything you know and you will become a corporate product, you will become inmortal if you just say yes! Why not? Plus, you should totally trust those shady businessmen.
One of the things I hate about Bob and his ilk, is that so desperate. These people are willing to sell their souls just so they can be ‘superior’.

I know this is a stupid question but don’t they have any pride?
Those people, such as Bob, are perfectly described in this image.

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Honestly, that sums up about pretty much every modern day nerd like Bob. They look at a show like Batman or Pokémon and think, ‘That’s so cool! I want to be hero like Batman” or “I want to be a Pokémon Trainer like Ash Ketchum”.

They don’t even stop to think about the negative aspects of living in such a world. Like the danger or the risks. Or the fact that you still have to work hard to succeed, even if you do live in a fantasy world. All they think about is the rewards.
 
Keep in mind though that during the PS1 era (And to a lesser extent, PS2 era), there was a LOT of sour grapes from Nintendo fans (And hell, the President of Nintendo himself) over Square and...just about every RPG developer ditching the Big N for Sony due to the sheer amount of space a CD offered over the N64 cartridges.

So, Bob, being a Nintendo fanboy, might not speak much of RPGs due to the big JRPG Gap Nintendo suffered through.
Square mostly ditched Nintendo because of the bad blood over Secret of Mana and Final Fantasy 4. Basically back in the day, Square was given hints about the SNES and wrote FF4 back when they only had its specs. Then the actual dev kit came out and they had to get rid of a lot of shit. But then they negotiated with Sony to make a SNES CD expansion to match SEGA's CD. Secret of Mana was purely designed for it.

Then the deal fell through because of just pissing matches between Nintendo and Sony. They had to axe 3/4s of what they had for Secret of Mana, and a good chunk of it was reworked into Chrono Trigger. This made Square leery and despise Nintendo for doing that to them twice in a row. The final final straw was them again realizing Nintendo was going to make a cartridge console.

That made them say "Fuck this" and they joined Sony because of spite.

But yeah, Billy-Bob not liking RPGs due to this makes a lot of sense given his grudgeholding and assache tendencies. I can also believe it's because he's too stupid and smoothbrained to understand them.

Still funny that Bob stanned for the company that stuck longest to cartridges rather than the superior future of disk technology.
 
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Bobby is the judge, jury and the executioner -- for the "garbage people":
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I don't know how Bobby still manages to be so angry amid so much to consoom, but I digress.

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Some people work Sundays; some people are unemployed because covid. I don't expect a troon to know that though.

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Glenn Greenwald and the MAGA Jr. Nick Sandmann:
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Bobby reminds people he too attended Catholic school:
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AOC got disrespected again! (Medhurst's video); the "peroxide Nazi" is, of course, Julian Assange.
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More illegals! It sounds as if Bobby believes living in Bahstan is a human right:
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Bobby doesn't know how geological time, or probability, works:
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i didn't have too many sour grapes over Final Fantasy going over to Playstation. A friend of my bro's had a PS1, then we got our own, and the fact of final fantasy VII being on PS1 solidified the decision to go Playstation rather than N64 (and bro had another friend with an N64 so we could play Goldeneye all we wanted).

Bob I'm assuming doesn't like RPGs because he doesn't like D&D board games, or old skool PC games like Castle Adventure, which he doesn't like because he's a passive media consoomer; he doesn't think. RPGs are no match for bob's smooth galaxy brain.

Of course you didn't have sour grapes, you had friends, Bob didn't.
 
Bobby doesn't know how geological time, or probability, works:
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This is a weird way to characterize and give human motives to geological processes. Iceland is one big active volcano system, like 80% of the island is covered in them, and has been for centuries. Hell, the United States has tons of active volcano vacation spots, namely in Hawai'i. Why does Robert of Movies not trust in science?

edit: Here, have a free map of Iceland's active volcano systems:
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I'll add this to the talk about FF7 and the Nintendo sour grapes over how the N64 failed as badly as it did. FF7 was the turning point where Nintendo fans realized that third party groups were abandoning the N64 for the PS, but Nintendo stans didn't 100% realized how fucked shit was until Nintendo (who spent YEARS saying a Disk Drive attachment platform was coming at long last and that Zelda was going to be the flagship title for it) said "sorry suckers! no disk drive add-on for you!" and released a Zelda game that while great, was overhyped as the second coming and Nintendo producing a game that would compete with the very best that Sony was putting out on the Playstation.

Indeed, if you were just playing the Game Boy/Game Boy Color, 1996-2002 wasn't THAT bad in so far as the Game Boy keeping high quality going plus Pokemon (which IIRC, made so much money for Nintendo and boosted GB/GBC sales to such a degree, that it papered over a LOT of the failures of the N64 getting clobbered by the PS/PS2). But Square going to Sony kicked off a huge downward spiral that climaxed with the disk drive being canceled as far as Nintendo losing fans left and right until the Gamecube began the slow climb out of the ruins the N64 left them in.
 
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