Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


  • Total voters
    1,451
Status
Not open for further replies.
In many ways Bob seems to me the quintessential lolcow. Incredible hubris. Resistance to criticism. An unparalleled desire to keep going with his dogshit takes despite everyone in the entire world laughing at him. Cannot pick his battles. Rampant narcissism despite being a 400+ pound man who makes movie reviews in his basement.
Can't forget about Moviebob's aggressively sociopathic behavior and borderline Hitlerian political belief system.
 
Who the fuck sees Brutalist architecture and thinks "yeah I'd love if my entire city looked like that"? The only ones who would like it are either idiots or extreme authoritarians that want to crush the morale of the people, actually I can see why Bob would defend it, he belongs to both of those groups.
Also the best and most aesthetic architectures are the NeoClassical and Gothic ones.
Brutalism is a nice style... if I'm going to build a big bunker death fortress as an evil supervillain. It has some value as cheapo low cost building designs or military or utility buildings, but give me literally any other style over it for a city's look.
Why are all neckbeards like this?

By "this" I mean competitive, arrogant know-it-alls who think they're the king shits.
Bob's the way he is due to massive insecurities and a self awareness of his failure to thrive. He also thinks that since he has to be the protagonist in his story, he has to win at all times. This is a retard who unironically watched McDonalds ads for their plot and who wants to permanently bing bing wahoo forever in a matrioshka brain (think the matrix slop batteries you're in).
So Chris has a new prop to play with whenever he feels like he's a man, and he wants to talk about harming others as he eats away critical money he allegedly needs with his alcoholism and elitism on brand labeling for his alcoholism fix of choice.

Scumbag.
 
Bobby however must now pretend to be an expert in what looks to me like gothic architecture,

E5c7CHkWUAAMTdB.jpg
Gothic architecture represents a HUGE advance in both engineering and aesthetics -- and it was all due to man's desire to build houses tall enough to be fitting as God's abode. The Baroque decoration might not be today's taste, but you can't help but marvel how the artist made the monumental structure looks weightlessly floating and gyrating in mid-air. To use the material to represent the ideal, the earthbound to represent the transcendental, is a heroic quest that was motivated by religion. This is a point that even Richard Dawkins grudgingly acknowledged; he just thinks that Science could have been a better motivator.

But this is all beyond Bobby's ken. Let's talk about art that is his level. Captain America doesn't endorse "America First" (thread for the convenience of those who want to see the comics)
Untitled.png
:story: This is too perfect. If MOS isn't talking about Bobby I'd be sadder than Chris seeing Back To School campaigns in July.

35235.png

Mark Wallinger does pop art?
Untitled.png

+ + + +
Trash, trash, and more trash. There is trash for each sign of the Zodiac:
xcvs.png

Vin Diesel vs The Elder One:
35235.png

Angels on various directors. I'll just post Luke Lockhart's take in text form:
  • NOLAN: what if the general vibe of industrialized Western society circa the early 2000s was representing as men in suits being esoteric
  • LYNCH: what if the general vibe of Hollywood noir reflected both supernatural terror and a kind of weird softness at the same time
  • COEN & COEN: what if the plot structure of a satire merged with the aesthetic of mid-20th century Hollywood
  • WACHOWSKI & WACHOWSKI: What if the vibe of late 90s alt culture was super queer but we masked it with violence
  • FINCHER: What if the broad gender and aesthetic politics of noir but in other settings
  • SPIELBERG: what if I just tortured you, the audience, by stabbing you in your feelings repeatedly, and you gave me lots of awards for it
  • SCORCESE: what if men were very intense and morally flawed and “1960s man” was a personality, that everyone had <please don’t be too harsh, I admit I don’t have a great handle on Marty S>
  • TARANTINO: what if I paid people to say the N word so it was like it wasn’t me saying it Also what if movies were mainly about movies
  • DEL TORO: What if I could somehow make pulp genres about people who are often not white straight American men and somehow Hollywood just kept giving me awards, let’s see if making this lady fck a fish will stop them
  • BURTON: I have an aesthetic and I have given it to all the (white, skinny) goths, they can have it, please be grateful, also Helena Bonham Carter is lovely isn’t she here look at Helena Bonham Carter
  • EASTWOOD: what if older white men had really sad and often violent experiences and I just showed you them
  • ALLEN: what if i, a terrible human being, was also the default human being
  • JOON-HO: what if capitalism could be represented with MULTIPLE architectural metaphors AT THE SAME TIME
  • POLANSKI: what if there were horrible men who did sexual predation and being a woman or a man who didn’t think what I did was ok was terrif- oh sht did I meant THEM brb leaving country
  • WAITITI: what if everything from superhero movies about genocide to historical movies about genocide was super witty
  • BIGELOW: men are so violent, and interesting, and I kinda want them to kiss… don’t worry, I won’t go there…. OR WILL I
  • KENT: I am going to show you fcked up sht about sad women with dead husbands
  • SCOTT: <actually can’t think of anything pithy here>
  • EMMERICH: here is the most jingoistic content I can produce while not letting you forget I am quite gay
  • LUCAS: what if the stuff I liked as a kid, but you know, it looked cooler
  • SNYDER: human bodies look really cool if you make them move against really cool backgrounds and sometimes show them getting absolutely WRECKED
xcvdsg.png
Luke then passes the baton to Nymphomachy:
  • SHINKAI: What if time passed and that was sad
  • ALLEN: Did you know I am the literal most brilliant and desirable man in human history? Here is a snippet of me to whet your appetite
  • SMITH (KEVIN): What if you sat down for a few hours and listened to me talk about nerd culture? Don't worry I have some great raunchy jokes too
  • CRONENBERG: What if a human was full of bugs, like just a skinsack full of bug stuff
  • SHYAMALAN: What you expected one thing, and then what you got instead was exactly the other thing? Also I'm really enthusiastic about white people and God
  • APATOW: *coughing nastily after taking a hit from a bong* have you ever, hehehe, just, like, LOOKED at a dick? also women are fucking shrews lol
  • RHIMES: what if a bunch of ethnically diverse, scowling troublemakers really, seriously wanted to fuck each other
Bobby explains, mindful that as a man he has no right to mansplain two other men:
Angel1.png

Fiona Apple was so traumatized by having to listen to two blowhards bragging for a whole night! (Blast article)
Angel.png

+ + + +
Biden's neurologists are worried:
35235.png

Something about a woman called Ana Kasparian, Jimmy Dore and Kyle Kulinski.
362356.png
I agree all these people are ridiculous and friendless, Bobby the most ridiculous and friendless of them all.

xcvs.png

Dob Chipman? Do these pink globs have gender?
Angel.png
 
Trash, trash, and more trash. There is trash for each sign of the Zodiac:
View attachment 2317824
Can Bob seriously not answer a basic question without coming across as a pretentious pseudo-intellectual? Like that is honestly Bob's worst trait that makes him hateable because of how he tries to act like a smart cunt when it's not necessary too.
 
Some Tolkien bullshit

View attachment 2316653

And the image in question is this one:

View attachment 2316654

For context, the Valar beings Tolkien is describing are supposed to be Angel like figures, creatures of light directly created by god, so they can be whatever they want really.
I like how these types are ignoring the fact these characters weren't whatever they ate presenting themselves as.

How much of this is them needing everything to be about them, and how much is them needing validation?
 
My guess for the Chipman's 4th of July tweetstorm:

1. Someone would get an overpriced toy or appliance with obscenely complicated and unnecessary bells and whistles attached to it.
2. Pictures of pretentious hipster booze would be posted.
3. Chris would virtue-signal like a faggot over something. I thought it would be related to the LGBTees so my guess was a little off here. Chris is, of course, a racist, since most of the people I know who are the most enthusiastic about shooting off fireworks are recent immigrants. They love that shit, and they'll even start shooting off firecrackers a full week before the holiday begins. I'm not sure what kind of dewy girlsblouses live in Chris' neighborhood, but it is known that people with autism have a sensitivity to noise, so I strongly suspect the "folks with PTSD who have it extra hard on the 4th" are Chris and his brother.

I was kind of hoping we'd see more pictures of Chris and Bob's circus of a family. At least we were spared more pictures of 30 dollar a pound prime rib being charred to Pompeii victim consistency and doused in cheap BBQ sauce.
 
Yes the shitta you totally needed that expensive grill to totally burn expensive meat because you dont know how to Cook you mongoloid.
Also if i were Bob id save that money to live at surface level. But you know everyone can't be as Smart as Blobbo.
Bob is literally a troglodyte, he's not comfortable unless he is living underground.
 
View attachment 2317396
Here's your deconstructed hamburger.

Isn't it better than a traditional hamburger?
That hamburger is not only deconstructed but it also subverts expectations, see when you think of a hamburger you think of it as already made but here it isn't made, your expectations were subverted that's why it's so great.

This is what many hack Hollywood directors and writers actually believe. *cough* Rian Jhonson *cough*
 
Angels on various directors. I'll just post Luke Lockhart's take in text form:
  • NOLAN: what if the general vibe of industrialized Western society circa the early 2000s was representing as men in suits being esoteric
  • LYNCH: what if the general vibe of Hollywood noir reflected both supernatural terror and a kind of weird softness at the same time
  • COEN & COEN: what if the plot structure of a satire merged with the aesthetic of mid-20th century Hollywood
  • WACHOWSKI & WACHOWSKI: What if the vibe of late 90s alt culture was super queer but we masked it with violence
  • FINCHER: What if the broad gender and aesthetic politics of noir but in other settings
  • SPIELBERG: what if I just tortured you, the audience, by stabbing you in your feelings repeatedly, and you gave me lots of awards for it
  • SCORCESE: what if men were very intense and morally flawed and “1960s man” was a personality, that everyone had <please don’t be too harsh, I admit I don’t have a great handle on Marty S>
  • TARANTINO: what if I paid people to say the N word so it was like it wasn’t me saying it Also what if movies were mainly about movies
  • DEL TORO: What if I could somehow make pulp genres about people who are often not white straight American men and somehow Hollywood just kept giving me awards, let’s see if making this lady fck a fish will stop them
  • BURTON: I have an aesthetic and I have given it to all the (white, skinny) goths, they can have it, please be grateful, also Helena Bonham Carter is lovely isn’t she here look at Helena Bonham Carter
  • EASTWOOD: what if older white men had really sad and often violent experiences and I just showed you them
  • ALLEN: what if i, a terrible human being, was also the default human being
  • JOON-HO: what if capitalism could be represented with MULTIPLE architectural metaphors AT THE SAME TIME
  • POLANSKI: what if there were horrible men who did sexual predation and being a woman or a man who didn’t think what I did was ok was terrif- oh sht did I meant THEM brb leaving country
  • WAITITI: what if everything from superhero movies about genocide to historical movies about genocide was super witty
  • BIGELOW: men are so violent, and interesting, and I kinda want them to kiss… don’t worry, I won’t go there…. OR WILL I
  • KENT: I am going to show you fcked up sht about sad women with dead husbands
  • SCOTT: <actually can’t think of anything pithy here>
  • EMMERICH: here is the most jingoistic content I can produce while not letting you forget I am quite gay
  • LUCAS: what if the stuff I liked as a kid, but you know, it looked cooler
  • SNYDER: human bodies look really cool if you make them move against really cool backgrounds and sometimes show them getting absolutely WRECKED
That's just some incredible insight, Luke.

You make fucking Bob's takes look like sage ruminations.
 
Untitled.png


Man... my dog fucking hates fireworks. Poor thing was severely abused when I got her and she's so terrified of them that I think her previous owners must have done something cruel with them.

On the 4th, we just hide out in the basement together where it’s nice and quiet. We take naps, play games, eat treats, and snuggle up. That's okay, because once a year it's nice that everyone else is having fun even if I'm not.

If you're launching mortars on, I don't know, October 9th, you're kind of a jerk. But when we have a special day marked on the calendar for fireworks, we know it's coming and can deal with it. Fuck off with the fatherly advice, Chris. Adults already know how to handle this without your dumb ass broadcasting your sensitivity to PTSD.
 
Trash, trash, and more trash. There is trash for each sign of the Zodiac:
xcvs.png
Shang Chi, simply because it might be making martial arts films mainstream again, instead of some weirdo niche everyone makes fun of. And to those that say "What are you talking about? The Raid did that a few years ago." The Raid was 10 years ago.

As for the rest of them. They look awful. I find it hard to believe they're unironically making a film called "Wakanda Forever".

Has Bob forgotten he changed his name to Like Kurosawa, I Make Mad, or is that going to be the next "Rehire James Gunn" that he'll drive through the ground and into the Earths core?
 
Shang Chi, simply because it might be making martial arts films mainstream again, instead of some weirdo niche everyone makes fun of. And to those that say "What are you talking about? The Raid did that a few years ago." The Raid was 10 years ago.

As for the rest of them. They look awful. I find it hard to believe they're unironically making a film called "Wakanda Forever".

Has Bob forgotten he changed his name to Like Kurosawa, I Make Mad, or is that going to be the next "Rehire James Gunn" that he'll drive through the ground and into the Earths core?
A year ago there were rumors that Shang-Chi was going to be a Bloodsport style tournament fighting movie featuring a bunch of lower tier Marvel characters. I thought that actually sounded like a pretty fun idea so I was sort of disappointed when the trailer came out and it looked like generic marvel trash.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back