Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Bobby has the literal mind of a child when it comes to Disney/Marvel. He gets overly excited for EVERYTHING they shit out.

He even convinced himself that Black Widow is an 8 out of 10 movie.

It's such a contrast to what an odious, joyless prick he is in other aspects of his life.
It's one of the few good things in life that he has. It'll be a dark day (for Bob) when the MCU finally dies.

Assuming he doesn't die first.
 
Bobby has the literal mind of a child when it comes to Disney/Marvel. He gets overly excited for EVERYTHING they shit out.

He even convinced himself that Black Widow is an 8 out of 10 movie.

It's such a contrast to what an odious, joyless prick he is in other aspects of his life.
Am I the only one who doesn’t buy it, though? It often reads like he’s desperately trying to convince himself as much as anyone else that this Marvel shit is genius. Something would break in him if he had to admit his heroes weren’t all he’d imagined. I mean, if the console wars were his Vietnam and Super Mario 3 was his 9/11, acknowledging a shitty Marvel movie would level him like Nagasaki.
 
They don't make Nazis like they used to:
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Mr. Chipman, unless you can demonstrate any knowledge in the studies of either astronomy or rocket science, please do yourself and humanity a favor... and kindly SHUT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK UP!!!

Um... wouldn't this constitute a violation of Twitter's TOS under "threatening harm"?



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Does this matter if your idea of "fun" is nothing more than the most generic cinema?
"Owning beachfront property is the Los Angeles dream. Owning actual property is the Ohio reality." Moviebob probably hates that billboard because there's a zero chance he'll ever own either.



Bobby has to say something even though he doesn't have an opinion on Simone Biles:
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I worry more about Bobby's mental health than Biles's.
I would also worry about Bob's mental health... but I already believe the decline of Bob's mental state is irreversible, as is his intellectual state.



Dan Crenshaw, of all people, stans for Biles:
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Why did you have to stoop to Moviebob's level on this, Crenshaw? WHY?
 
It's one of the few good things in life that he has. It'll be a dark day (for Bob) when the MCU finally dies.

Assuming he doesn't die first.
It depends on if Disney can keep the ball rolling. They could call a halt next year, or Xmen could end up extending things another 10 years.

I can't see Bob living more than 15 years, so it's a good chance he'll see the MCU end and will cry about the MAGA Ghouls beingtoo stupid to know how amazing it was
"Owning beachfront property is the Los Angeles dream. Owning actual property is the Ohio reality." Moviebob probably hates that billboard because there's a zero chance he'll ever own either.
Anything that contradicts his idea that New York and California are perfect utopias on the cusp of the superior future is a lie! How would people who live in those states know more than a basement dwelling neck beard?
 
"Owning beachfront property is the Los Angeles dream. Owning actual property is the Ohio reality." Moviebob probably hates that billboard because there's a zero chance he'll ever own either.
Bob aspires to renting an above-ground studio apartment in fucking Lynn, Massachusetts. This is the part of Boston’s inner city that had nothing positive to brag about and so falsely boasted of being home of the world’s first roast beef sandwich in order to distinguish itself. They also shot an episode of Cops there once. Bob the lifelong renter has no room to shit on anyone else’s choice of property ownership location.
 
If you had to describe Bobs entire life with a single phrase, what would it be? I think this one fits rather nicely
"Despite all my rage I a still a rat in a cage"
Bit more than a phrase, but I often think about this in regards to how Bob really feels:
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Bob’s turbo-impotence is perhaps his most defining characteristic. With every tweet, he reveals his utter fixation on all the things in the world he is powerless to change or even influence. Whether it’s movie plots and casting, elected officials and public policy, global economic systems, cultural norms or who gets gassed, Bob pisses away the vast majority of his attention and time on shit he’ll never change and that ultimately has nothing to do with him.

Meanwhile, he ignores all the things he could change but never has and never will. From his weight, personal hygiene and inability to form relationships to his metric shitload of unresolved trauma and resulting emotional immaturity and ego damage, Bob refuses to look at that which he owns. As an adult, he is 100 percent responsible for these matters. Day after day, he shirks those responsibilities.

Lots of people are fat, ugly, angry losers. But most of them don’t feel the need to spend literally every day and every night showing it off on Twitter. If Bob took just one hour a day from his Twitter time budget and spent it working on his own shit, he could actually effect some change in the only world that really matters: his world.

Instead, he’ll continue to rage-tweet until he dies or loses his extremities to diabetic injury. But nothing in his life will change for the better. In fact, it will only get worse.

Despite how loathsome Bob is, I’d love to see him get out of his own way and start improving his life. One less miserable cunt on Twitter would be nice, but the real beneficiaries would be his niece, nephew, and others who genuinely care about him. Sure, there aren’t many of those. But every additional moment of joy and gratitude adds up.

Unfortunately for Bob and those close to him, that outcome will always elude him while he ignores his own business and pontificates about how everyone else’s should be handled. As if he’d fucking know. Bob is more incurably flaccid and useless than a cadaver’s pee-pee.
 
Am I the only one who doesn’t buy it, though? It often reads like he’s desperately trying to himself as much as anyone else that this Marvel shit is genius. Something would break in him if he had to admit his heroes weren’t all he’d imagined. I mean, if the console wars were his Vietnam and Super Mario 3 was his 9/11, acknowledging a shitty Marvel movie would level him like Nagasaki.
To be frank, Bob's love of the MCU comes off as... insincere to me. Well, insofar as he's a bandwagon jumper who never gave a damn about the source material or the history behind the characters until the normies flocked to the films. Watching him squee over everything Marvel is the epitome of cringe to me and why I'm hesitant to admit that I was ever a fan.
 
To be frank, Bob's love of the MCU comes off as... insincere to me. Well, insofar as he's a bandwagon jumper who never gave a damn about the source material or the history behind the characters until the normies flocked to the films. Watching him squee over everything Marvel is the epitome of cringe to me and why I'm hesitant to admit that I was ever a fan.
If Bob had ever shown an iota of strategic thinking, I might wonder if it was a case of trying to become the go-to source for all the MCU spergs’ obsessive film dissection needs. After all, grabbing even an infinitesimal sliver of that massive market share could net him a livable income in a shithole like Lynn if he really pumped his platform for views.

It seems more likely that Bob just derives some kind of validation by appearing to be into something well-loved by others. If only he’d ingratiated himself with Rick Lax, he might have leveraged his Mountain Dew chicken to climb aboard the revenue-generating avalanche of gross food viral videos. Alas, alas.
 
To be frank, Bob's love of the MCU comes off as... insincere to me. Well, insofar as he's a bandwagon jumper who never gave a damn about the source material or the history behind the characters until the normies flocked to the films. Watching him squee over everything Marvel is the epitome of cringe to me and why I'm hesitant to admit that I was ever a fan.
He's a consoomer. He likes big brands with lots of products to consoom. If it ever ends before he dies, he'll probably mourn for a few days before waddling off to find a new franchise with products to consoom.
 
He's a consoomer. He likes big brands with lots of products to consoom. If it ever ends before he dies, he'll probably mourn for a few days before waddling off to find a new franchise with products to consoom.
Considering how ferociously he defended Cuties, rivaled only by Dax “Dick Masterson” Herrera, that new franchise will be LOL(ita) Dolls.
 
To be frank, Bob's love of the MCU comes off as... insincere to me. Well, insofar as he's a bandwagon jumper who never gave a damn about the source material or the history behind the characters until the normies flocked to the films. Watching him squee over everything Marvel is the epitome of cringe to me and why I'm hesitant to admit that I was ever a fan.
I say it a lot in this thread but as the MCU pulls more obscure material, Bob's been getting a lot worse with showing he's out of his element since wikis stop being helpful at that point. On top of that, you have things like him wanting a Strange Academy movie as a Potter replacement as he still wants this shit to strangle entertainment as a whole until it's the only thing left.

He's just compelled to play pretend expert of everything until the day he dies.
 
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They don't make Nazis like they used to:
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> Nazis just get what's due - then processed (MANDATORY EMOJI)

Ah, just like that time some Germans felt the Jews & Gypsies were spreading disease, stealing money, prostituting women, and collaborating with Marxists? That's just making sure they got "what's due - then processed".

It's one of the few good things in life that he has. It'll be a dark day (for Bob) when the MCU finally dies.

Assuming he doesn't die first.
It's kind of beautiful in a way: The MCU and Bob have shambled into decaying zombie state around the same time. Hard to say which one will rot apart first.
Bob aspires to renting an above-ground studio apartment in fucking Lynn, Massachusetts. This is the part of Boston’s inner city that had nothing positive to brag about and so falsely boasted of being home of the world’s first roast beef sandwich in order to distinguish itself.
Roast beef sandwiches are the quintessential "I got leftovers but can't bother to reheat them" food. Its was probably discovered independently a thousand times over whenever cold storage of cooked food and sliced bread were in the same place. Why would they even think that lie made sense or would gain them something?
 
Bob and the clone would both assume something had gone wrong with the process and refuse to accept the other is in any way like themselves. Even if the clone had a distinguishing mark, it would still insist on being the real Bob because the alternative is to finally accept how truly repulsive he is.
So like the inverse of the Mauler Twins, where they are both super-power strong and genius-tier smart; but instead both Bob clones are fat, retarded manchildren.
 
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