Even the name sucks. Every other classification, even the secondary ones, roll off the tongue and make some connection to their real meanings. But Ticonderoga? Nigger, what does an old French fort have to do with reality defying monsters and anomalies? Even the original Iroquois meaning doesn't make sense, "it is at the junction of two waterways." Maybe I need to flood my brain with bathtub HRT to be on the same level as the people who made this shit, so I can understand the genius at play here.
Well said, reminds me of the issue I have with SCP classifications. The originals were perfect, but they just kept adding more that didn't need to exist.
Safe - no explanation. It's safe, just don't be a retard with it.
Neutralized - "Throw it in the wood chipper"
Euclid - Here is where the naming convention starting getting interesting. Euclid is based off the mathematician, more specifically Euclidean geometry. It can also be used to describe the opposite, non-Euclidean geometry ("Euclidean geometry seeks to understand the geometry of flat, two-dimensional spaces, non-Euclidean geometry studies curved, rather than flat, surfaces"). Lore wise it's meant to classify things that aren't completely understood, so it's unwise to simply label it as any other classification. A single classification that can be used prior to understanding what an SCP is fully capable of, prior to designating something as flat or curved, something as safe or...
Keter - Lore wise it's meant to classify an SCP as something can will absolutely rape you if given the chance in as many ways are there are Keter class SCPs. In real life, Keter is named after the Hebrew world for Crown. More specifically "the topmost of the sefirot of the Tree of Life in Kabbalah." SCPs that are top priority, that earn the crown of most dangerous. This is also the start of the Hebrew naming convention. After this however, shit is started going south.
Thaumiel: Lore wise it's meant to be the first of the "super duper special" SCP classifications, while perhaps orignally supposed to be incredibly rare, should've been a one or twice in a series SCP in my opinion, the retards on that heavily quality control absent site took the classification and ran away with it. A fuck ton of Thaumiel class SCPs came into being and started fucking with the whole idea of SCP. Why is there
any struggle with containing many of these SCPs when you have several Thaumiels which can trivialize this task? Par for the course, a lot of them are just mediocre to poorly written. In real life, Thaumiel is basically the Shadow of Keter, the Shadow of the Crown, more specifically "haumiel (twins of God) is the name of one of the Qliphoth in the Kabbalah, the shadow side of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life. It is the shadow of the Sephirah Keter (the crown). While Keter is concerned with the unity of God, Thaumiel represents the dual contending forces, struggling, and it is represented by two giant heads with bat-like wings." Shame Thaumiels rarely have any significant relationship with Keters. Oh God is there a Haumiel classification too? And that's not even the worst of it.
Apollyon - Just...why? Lore wise it's supposed to classify SCPs which are uncontainable and world ending, except when a Thaumiel is used to contain them, so they're not uncontainable, but shut up my SCP is super duper powerful and uncontainable and invincible and
HHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhnnnnnnngggggg
Whoever's the retard who came up with this should be smacked upside the head and told to write how they're a retard 10000 times on several chalkboards and made to study good literature for the rest of their life. In fact most SCP writers should. In real life, Apollyon is basically Greek for Abaddon, or rather "Destroyer." They're also an Angel, meaning that if SCP writers had two brain cells to rub together they can probably make some interesting conotations to the Apollyon classification, but not going to happen. This should've been the end of it, there's some other minor classifications that are alright but no more major classifications. Except...
Archon - Fucking kill me. Lore wise it's meant to classify SCP's that
could be contained but
shouldn't. Nigger, tell me the definition of SCP. I get the idea of it, but at that point just classify it as one of the already made classifications instead of needing another "I'm so special" classification for it. It's also a bit conflicting with the already existing Archons established in SCP, which are not classifications but entities, malicious Eldritch servants of Yaldabaoth. In real life Archon represents the Greek word for Ruler as well as entities in Gnosticism which are described as Builders of the Material Universe. Oh and including Yahweh, the name God mostly used in the Old Testament and in Gnosticism is an evil Demiurge pretending to be God. You know what else he's called?
Yaldabaoth. It's clever I will give it that, but I feel like it was done by mistake, rather than be clever from a writing and lore standpoint. I suspect it was meant to be another "look how evil God is" that Far-Leftist and trannies often do given what SCP has devolved into and various threads and dicksword posts I've seen going in that direction. I wrote a whole ass thing about this but does anyone care? I could write it out for the
second time fuckingfatfingers but that's only if the demand is noticeable. Also I only have a surface level knowledge of religion so my points regarding religion references in SCP are probably retarded and I'm absolutely for people correcting my retardation.
It gets so much worse, there are various other minor and rarely used unneeded "my SCP is super special so it needs a super special class" classifications such as on this
plebbit list but some especially retarded ones I want to point out are:
-Azathoth (lol)
-Challenge (really?)
-Hiemal (of course it's here)
-Keter-Dark (although this is used mockingly, still silly)
-Paradox-Apollyon and Paradox-Thaumiel (super special variants of super special classifications)
-Truculent (fluid, changing and unpredictable...I can make a joke about that)
-Zeno (Euclid with extra steps)
And more. All I have to say is...
hate. And now we have another major one:
Ticonderoga - Already the name sucks. It's annoying to pronounce and has no significant meaning like the other names nor is it straight forward. Let's see what it's named after...a Fort...a warship class...a fucking pencil...some hamlet in NYS...a steamboat...yeah nothing even similar to the other naming conventions. Really represents the state of SCP, where everything it once was is being thrown out the window, starting with the original members who made SCP good, replaced with shit that makes no sense. God damn this is so long it might as well be a short modern SCP article.
That's not even mentioning what the classification represents in the lore, they
cannot be contained but also
don't need to be contained...now you're just taking the piss. Next classification will be "SCPs that shouldn't be contained and should be released and unprotected because it's a single SCP that don't need no containment procedures." "although the Ticonderoga class also includes extraterrestrial anomalies beyond the current reach of the Foundation." I can already think of several ones that already have classifications but will probably be reclassified to fit this classification. Also look at one of the
highest rated SCPs for this classification. Then there's this one that's...
basically just reddit humor, but also makes fun of the SCP writers reliance on "oooo look at my article look how classified it is and how it makes you feel important by making you roleplay as a high level staff member, oooo look at the memetic symbol that makes low level staff members explode when they look at it!" Now pair that with SCPs articles that make fun of people [REDACTING] large parts of said articles and you'll really have a representation of this website's state of being, remember how in universe you were supposed to be a researcher reading the articles of your peers so redacting was supposed to be used sparringly, if at all?
! My name is SCP-8008
, I'm a keter-fluid/safe-identifying/greenish blue
(sometimes undetermined) anomaly. #AllMTFAreBastards #ContainmentIsFascism
