Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

I mean I figure Paul going to the desert with the Freman has to be where you end the first movie but thats like a third of the way into the book iirc?
Just about. They usually skip over a lot of the political intrigue and stuff with the Imperial court in adaptations so I'm hoping they cover a lot more of that in Part I if they have to even them out.
 
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Last night I told my friend's brother who's never seen the "What If" trilogy (he skipped school to watch Episode 3 in 2005) that Luke drinks green tittie milk in TLJ and he thought I watched a porno version of it.

I told him I wasn't making it up and started laughing his ass off on how stupid it was to be in the movie.
 

Apologies if this has been posted. Apparently the opening scene was changed :story:
  • Luke and Lea training sequence is no longer the opening of the movie, it may be cut or moved. The opening of the film is now on Exogol. A control tower rises from the ground and transmits a signal, some rumbling below the surface of the pplanet then Sith Fleet Star Destroyer break through the rocky surface

Edit:
There's also this:
Lando believes the First Order wanted to turn children of Rebellion heroes into stormtroopers as revenge for the Empire


This deal is getting worse all the time. I might actually make popcorn for the "final" trailer
 
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That didn't really work with TLJ very well and apparently Chinese audiences saw through it.
I have a feeling the upcoming MCU shit will be cringey, so just wait and see.
Star Wars has never been big in China like the MCU has.

Look up the box office for every MCU film, baring the Avengers films and exceptions like Captain Marvel and Black Panther these movies barely make their budgets back in the Domestic market.

It's because of China that these big budget blockbusters keep getting made same reason why Bayformers has continued despite having long become a meme in the Western market.
 
if you think they won't allow ep9 to fail, they will never get rid of star wars, or only when shit gets really really bad. selling it would be acknowledging that the did fuck all with it, everybody would see they didn't make their money back (unless they sell for a ridiculous sum, which given the current state is highly unlikely) and it would bit a much much bigger PR blunder then have ep9 bomb.

disney is also still banking on it pushing disney+, else they wouldn't pump 25 million per episode into the mandalorian (or at least that was the plan till galaxy edge interested almost no one).

they also have much less pull now than they did with TFA and even TLJ, scc is taking a look too so they can't fudge the numbers like they want to as easily.

EPIX tanking alone wouldn't cause them to sell Star Wars/LFL - but we're likely to see any further movies get stuck in development hell for a few years. Unless acted on by external factors, Disney could afford to just sit on the license and collect nostalgia dollars and let Marvel push some issues of the comics. Their investors will be unlikely to allow that happen, and Disney brass may not want to even if the investors would let them.

EPIX tanking AND the Disney investors believing Disney+ to be a bust (regardless of whether or not it is) would cause it to happen. Star Wars is a widely known and EXCLUSIVE property - there's no other Star Wars TV shows or movies that Disney doesn't own. They can stream Star Wars and Disney shit as much as they want, where they want, accross what ever borders because they own the whole thing now.

I don't know how hard or how long Disney will push Disney+, or if they'll be successful. My gut says no, but I've been wrong about these things before. If D+ takes off, or least isn't an expensive disappointment, Disney will most likely continue to hold Star Wars.

Disney spent 4 billion dollars on LFL to get Star Wars, that's a lot of capital to have tied up in something not producing a return. If Disney+ flounders, they will be under pressure to slim down under-performing assets from investors. If disney+ tanks, the exclusivity of Star Wars is less valuable - if you aren't doing the streaming, who cares if you own the global rights free and clear?

They need to make investors believe Star Wars is still valuable, and they need to make any potential future buyers believe its valuable in case D+ flops. Investors might make them sell star wars - it is a recent acquisition, not fully integrated into the Disney portfolio (Jokes aside, wonder why Leia hasn't shown up in any Disney Princess horsehit?) and could be split off and sold very easily. (There is no way to sell off Maleficient/Sleeping Beauty without a huge licensing cluster fuck. You take your "Well, it was #1" loss and move on.) If you sell, you would need to convince buyers the property is a valuable, audiences still want new films, and if EPIX tanks the only way to do that would be release a film that DOES do well.

EPIX needs to appear to be a success and I am assuring you the reported BO will be just around a billion, and I am anticipating that will then drop off like TLJ (though holding off judgement until the exact quality of the film is seen. LOL). I'm not expecting too much fuckery on merch sales - nothing like the abandoned tractor trailers of Barbies, probably little cooking.


Disney won't be too concerned about fudging Merch sales. Even if D+ is a huge and immediate failure, any LFL sale would be a few years out. All you need to do is work with Hasbro on some new OT & PT toys, reduce your cut to move more units, push them out and then in the sale package show decent merchandising unit movement; its a quick fix. If EPIX, the most recent SW theatrical film, is under a billion, the only way to fix that will be release another film that pulls in over a billion - so two years and another 300-400 million, and that's providing they don't fuck it up again.



That didn't really work with TLJ very well and apparently Chinese audiences saw through it.
I have a feeling the upcoming MCU shit will be cringey, so just wait and see.

Star Wars never really took hold in China; Star Wars requires too much understanding of what's going on to really get it.
You could watch Avengers with the dialogue replaced by complete jibberish ("replaced" LOL) and still get a general grasp what's happening in almost any scene. I'm not saying Star Wars is some high-brow complex story, but it does rely on context and character instead of a string of "HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT?"

Plus Rose was dirty viet mudperson and not a White cutie or Han waifu, so why bother.
 
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EPIX tanking alone wouldn't cause them to sell Star Wars/LFL - but we're likely to see any further movies get stuck in development hell for a few years. Unless acted on by external factors, Disney could afford to just sit on the license and collect nostalgia dollars and let Marvel push some issues of the comics. Their investors will be unlikely to allow that happen, and Disney brass may not want to even if the investors would let them.

EPIX tanking AND the Disney investors believing Disney+ to be a bust (regardless of whether or not it is) would cause it to happen. Star Wars is a widely known and EXCLUSIVE property - there's no other Star Wars TV shows or movies that Disney doesn't own. They can stream Star Wars and Disney shit as much as they want, where they want, accross what ever borders because they own the whole thing now.

I don't know how hard or how long Disney will push Disney+, or if they'll be successful. My gut says no, but I've been wrong about these things before.

Disney spent 4 billion dollars on star wars, that's a lot of capital to have tied up in something not producing a return. If Disney+ flounders, they will be under pressure to slim down under-performing assets from investors. If disney+ tanks, the exclusivity of Star Wars is less valuable - if you aren't doing the streaming, who cares if you own the global rights free and clear?

They need to make investors believe Star Wars is still valuable, and they need to make any potential future buys believe its valuable. Investors might make them sell star wars - it is a recent acquisition, not fully integrated into the Disney portfolio (Jokes asside, wonder why Leia hasn't shown up in any Disney Princess horsehit?) and could be split off and sold very easily. (There is no way to sell off Maleficient/Sleeping Beauty without a huge licensing cluster fuck. You take your "Well, it was #1" loss and move on.) If you sell, you would need to convince buyers the property is a valuable, audiences still want new films, and if EPIX tanks the only way to do that would be release a film that DOES do well.

EPIX needs to appear to be a success and I am assuring you the reported BO will be just around a billion, and I am anticipating that will then drop off like TLJ (though holding off judgement until the exact quality of the film is seen. LOL). I'm not expecting too much fuckery on merch sales - nothing like the abandoned tractor trailers of Barbies, probably little cooking.


Disney won't be too concerned about fudging Merch sales. Even if D+ is a huge and immediate failure, any LFL sale would be a few years out. All you need to do is work with Hasbro on some new OT & PT toys, reduce your cut to move more units, push them out and then in the sale package show decent merchandising unit movement; its a quick fix. If EPIX, the most recent SW theatrical film, is under a billion, the only way to fix that will be release another film that pulls in over a billion - so two years and another 300-400 million, and that's providing they don't fuck it up again.


Plus Rose was dirty viet mudperson and not a White cutie or Han waifu, so why bother.
I have no doubt Disney will commit some kind of fraud and pump their numbers up, I'm just wondering if they'll get away with it. Hype is low, spoilers are rampant, the film is possibly still being shot, and diehard fans have been alienated from the comics and video games due to their poor quality and the treatment of said fanbase. Disney pumped the numbers on Solo, possibly Captain Marvel, etc, but they can't hide this forever. Galaxy's Edge is empty. The comics and merch sales are tanking. The video games released so far have been commercially panned and haven't sold as much as they projected (by as much as 50%), and Disney's name is now synonymous with "corrupt, shitheel monopoly that ruins franchises and meddles with copyright law" across large chunks of the Internet.

This is a fucking PR disaster and nothing short of blatant exaggeration, falsification, fabrication, and distraction could recover Disney's image.
 

Apologies if this has been posted. Apparently the opening scene was changed :story:

Edit:
There's also this:



This deal is getting worse all the time. I might actually make popcorn for the "final" trailer
Oh please, let that shit be real.
I hope they leave out the training montage, just so it's even more out of left-field that Leia is a Jedi and Rey has yet another boost in power.
Also, that last part. Man, that last part. Yeah, make the republic even more of a shitshow if children of warheroes get abducted by the FO and the new republic does jack shit to stop it. I hope it's true, it would make everything even more offensive.
 
QUnFzh4.jpg


Rally around the (Disney) family
With a pocket full of shells shills

Some of those that force SocJus
Are the same watch mouses
 

Apologies if this has been posted. Apparently the opening scene was changed :story:
So they're now stealing the flight of the Lusankya

lusankia_by_darefi.jpg
 
With Matt Smith being in this movie, and rumors of time travel, have people come up with the obvious/autistic conclusion?
Sadly yes. First thing that people and clickbait articles started saying when the rumor was going around was "OMG Dr. Who is in Star Wars/is Canon!" It didn't last long though.
@GeneralFriendliness I'm interested in that info about Fallen Order, if there's anything aside the lightsaber customization stuff you posted already. TYFYS
Okay, but before I write another TL;DR piece, here's everything I knew about the game back in June so I don't have to repeat that part of the info:

I look at this and the nicest thing I can say is, that it looks decent to okay. But it feels like a God of War game with SW. It also feels like its trying to be a new version of Force Unleashed rather than something more competent like Jedi Academy, which seems to be the case judging from what I keep reading about this game and its lore in that much like in Force Unleashed, its about a little jedi kid/teen who survived the purge, was raised and trained by a force user, and his fate somehow ties into the founding of the Rebel Alliance and the game also features a junkyard planet and both games start on Kashyyyk, so this feels like Disney's attempt at replacing/succeeding Force Unleashed with the main difference being this kid/teen is a rogue jedi rather than a sith in training and that his parents aren't ever mentioned. Something about the aesthetics feels off, especially on that meh-looking droid sidekick which just feels DisneySequel-ish while also trying to look like an 80s product. The time-stopping mechanic isn't doing much for me and it reminds me more of that shitty Kylo Ren's trick from TFA than Prince of Persia, and that just opens a whole can of worms that never needed to exist. But even if this game does turn out to somehow be good or (unlikely) great, I just can't support it on principal... the principal that EA are douchebags and I refuse to give them my money after all the shit they've pulled in so many years of sleazy douchery. They've given me no reason to trust them, and their little subordinate company that's designing this game is only known for making meh to average games, so that gives me little motivation to be interested or trust them either. My next point is a bit nitpicky, but the guy's "alien best friend" from his flashback is the same obnoxious alien that keeps showing up in nu-Wars, and I really can't stand his design since he's ugly and his kind has effectively become a replacement for mon calamaris. And if even by some miracle this game does turn out to be some kind of GOTY masterpiece (and even if its not), it will still be followed by a typical EA scam like lootboxes (only reworked while EA claims they're totally not lootboxes this time), "DLC" which is actually locked content, or worse, finding out that the main story is actually just a small part of the game and that the real game is actually some multiplayer event full of transactions and pay-to-win shit.

In short, I don't trust EA for shit.

On another note, here's everything I know about this game story-wise for anyone interested. The main guy's name is Cal Kestis. He survived the purge as a kid and was raised by this androgynous black man/lady/genderfluidwtf jedi (pictured below holding a holocron) named Cere who is the secondary protagonist. Next is that R.O.B. wannabe sidekick on his shoulder whose name is BD-1. BD-1 and Cal were together since the purge, and before the game's storyline they were members of the "Scrappers Guild" that rummaged through old ships. During that time, the two became friends with the ugly alien dude from TFA and all Disney media named Prauf. Prauf died before the game's events. Deez Nuts Geez Dritus is the pilot of the game's signature ship, the Stinger Mantis. Greez is a four armed alien with a giant fuzzy onion for a head (pictured below). In the picture below is also the game's main villain, the Second Sister, she's an androgynous Vader fangirl who became his personal apprentice. She became an inquisitor and is now hunting down Cal and his band of rejects. She wields a helicopter sith saber with double blades. The black Che Guevara from Rogue One will also be in the game along with his "militia" the "Partisans".
View attachment 792131

Among the known enemies in the game are (obviously) stormtroopers, Viper probe droids (the ones seen on Hoth in ESB), "Purge troopers" (created exclusively for the game but were featured in Marvel's nu-Vader comic), Flametroopers from Force Unleashed (but they've been modified to resemble snowtroopers for some reason), Flame beetles (they're an old EU species from Kashyyyk first seen in the 80s Marvel comics and the MMO SW Galaxies) and Wyyyschokks (another old EU species of giant spiders from Kashyyyk that appeared in several games and books set on Kashyyyk). "KX droids" which are the same model as the "sarcastic" droid from Rogue One will also serve as enemies.

And here is everything I know now:

1: For starters, a demo was released and gameplay was revealed a few days ago. People keep saying its "The Dark Souls of Star Wars!" However I can't tell if they mean that literally in that its a knockoff of that gameplay style or if its the usual "OMG its the Dark Souls of [insert game/genre here]" praise. Others have compared it to God of War and more obviously Force Unleashed. Personally, it just looks like a less interesting Prince of Persia, even aping the same time stopping mechanic. Yes, they make a big focus around the whole stopping time and lasers in midair shit which is one of the things I most hated in TFA. The real kicker is that the game does not allow you to dismember human enemies in any instance. You can only dismember monsters, droids and ugly animals. Attacking most enemies just pushes them back or knocks them down. Animals, droids and monsters appear less frequently than humans and stormtroopers. However non-human enemies may only get cut if you do a "special", otherwise they'll get knocked down when they die, the same as troopers. If you want to see some gameplay, here's a video:

2: Here are all the known planets so far:
*Kashyyyk: Seems to serve as the starting point of the game in your career as a jedi, much like Force Unleashed which this game is a knockoff of. Its divided into three levels/areas so far that I know of, the Shadowlands, a river and the imperial base. For some reason the river is said to be the origin of all life on Kashyyyk and thus sacred even though it used to be their trees that were important and the origin of life in both old and nu-canon. Anyway, the Shadowlands is something from pre-Disney canon that makes its debut here, its basically the deepest levels of Kashyyyk where the sun don't shine because of the tallest trees. Its mainly a dark area in the game. You go here to free some wookiees.
*Bracca: A junkyard planet and a donut steal version of Raxus Prime from Force Unleashed. Its where our hero Quasimodo was living on and where his old scrapping guild operated. Its apparently really important military-wise despite being a garbage dump.
*Zeffo: Its the planet seen in the gameplay above. Its a windy planet with ruins which just gives off Shadow of the Colossus vibes but with tech. Its a planet that's full of giant gears and living magical statues which turn out to be ancient droids that protect the ruins you explore. You can cut the limbs of the statues off with certain attacks at least. You go there to stop an imperial project.
*Dathomir: Its an old pre-Disney planet that was the homeworld of the witches of Dathomir (and later on was fucked over a bit by Filoni and Lucas a bit, then royally fucked up by Disney). Its basically witches, monsters and dark shit, as well as the homeworld of Rancors (and in pre-Disney it was also the homeworld of the Kwa who I spoke about before in this thread as being the fathers of civilization in SW and the creators of the prototype jedi order, but I doubt they'll appear or even be referenced). Shills won't stop calling it the "Dark Souls of Star Wars planets". Have these people ever played or seen anything that's not Dark Souls? So far no Rancors have been confirmed, instead we get this bat/rancor hybrid called Gorgara. Its a strong independent female and the ruler of the canyons.
1571679061442.png

Despite the uglier Rancor donut steal vibes and that she was introduced with most Dathomir content, her home planet is marked as unknown. Normally I wouldn't put much thought into this, except they revealed the name of her species which is Chirodactyl. Again, this wouldn't be much of deal, except Chiro means hands but she doesn't have any. So that means that, if her name is anything to go by, I guess... that she might be from planet Chiron... Which was an old pre-Disney planet. So I guess that might be in this game? Or she's from it and got dumped on Dathomir? I highly doubt they would bring back Chiron even by Disney standards, but the fact that they would reference it at all seems odd.

3: The onion headed-alien pilot I spoke about before in June called Deez Nuts Greez Dritus has his species revealed "Latero", which is another alien we've never heard of in anything, not even the Disney EU despite them having even more unused and unseen Disney aliens than the old EU. "Lateros" are major ship creators with their own company "Latero Spaceworks" despite the company never being mentioned before among the major companies in Disney canon. Essentially, they're donut steal versions of Morseerians (a member was seen in ANH and they're also four armed ship builders).

4: All the Inquisitor "siblings" will be in this which appeared in some Disney comics before, but the creators of the game say they created everything for this game, so the comics are pretty much just confirmed tie-ins and ads for this game.

5: Palpatine is in this.

6: Tarfful the wookiee chieftain and general from ROTS will be in this.

7: The black Quasimodo's last name is Junda.

There's more but talking about this shit is boring the snot out of me so I'll probably discuss it later when in the mood. So here are some shill articles in the mean time.
(And SW.com shamelessly praising their own game as if they're professional reviewers despite that they're required by contract to praise all their own content)
 
EPIX tanking alone wouldn't cause them to sell Star Wars/LFL - but we're likely to see any further movies get stuck in development hell for a few years. Unless acted on by external factors, Disney could afford to just sit on the license and collect nostalgia dollars and let Marvel push some issues of the comics. Their investors will be unlikely to allow that happen, and Disney brass may not want to even if the investors would let them.

EPIX tanking AND the Disney investors believing Disney+ to be a bust (regardless of whether or not it is) would cause it to happen. Star Wars is a widely known and EXCLUSIVE property - there's no other Star Wars TV shows or movies that Disney doesn't own. They can stream Star Wars and Disney shit as much as they want, where they want, accross what ever borders because they own the whole thing now.

I don't know how hard or how long Disney will push Disney+, or if they'll be successful. My gut says no, but I've been wrong about these things before. If D+ takes off, or least isn't an expensive disappointment, Disney will most likely continue to hold Star Wars.

Disney spent 4 billion dollars on LFL to get Star Wars, that's a lot of capital to have tied up in something not producing a return. If Disney+ flounders, they will be under pressure to slim down under-performing assets from investors. If disney+ tanks, the exclusivity of Star Wars is less valuable - if you aren't doing the streaming, who cares if you own the global rights free and clear?

They need to make investors believe Star Wars is still valuable, and they need to make any potential future buyers believe its valuable in case D+ flops. Investors might make them sell star wars - it is a recent acquisition, not fully integrated into the Disney portfolio (Jokes aside, wonder why Leia hasn't shown up in any Disney Princess horsehit?) and could be split off and sold very easily. (There is no way to sell off Maleficient/Sleeping Beauty without a huge licensing cluster fuck. You take your "Well, it was #1" loss and move on.) If you sell, you would need to convince buyers the property is a valuable, audiences still want new films, and if EPIX tanks the only way to do that would be release a film that DOES do well.

EPIX needs to appear to be a success and I am assuring you the reported BO will be just around a billion, and I am anticipating that will then drop off like TLJ (though holding off judgement until the exact quality of the film is seen. LOL). I'm not expecting too much fuckery on merch sales - nothing like the abandoned tractor trailers of Barbies, probably little cooking.


Disney won't be too concerned about fudging Merch sales. Even if D+ is a huge and immediate failure, any LFL sale would be a few years out. All you need to do is work with Hasbro on some new OT & PT toys, reduce your cut to move more units, push them out and then in the sale package show decent merchandising unit movement; its a quick fix. If EPIX, the most recent SW theatrical film, is under a billion, the only way to fix that will be release another film that pulls in over a billion - so two years and another 300-400 million, and that's providing they don't fuck it up again.





Star Wars never really took hold in China; Star Wars requires too much understanding of what's going on to really get it.
You could watch Avengers with the dialogue replaced by complete jibberish ("replaced" LOL) and still get a general grasp what's happening in almost any scene. I'm not saying Star Wars is some high-brow complex story, but it does rely on context and character instead of a string of "HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT?"

Plus Rose was dirty viet mudperson and not a White cutie or Han waifu, so why bother.
The only way that happens if Disney gets new management within the next few months should Iger get embodied in a scandal.

Also @GeneralFriendliness, since Jedi: Fallen Order is coming out, do you see Electronic Arts getting sold off in the future and complicate things with Disney? I ask this because this seems like a needed hit for them after Anthem and Battlefront 2 flopped.
 
Also @GeneralFriendliness, since Jedi: Fallen Order is coming out, do you see Electronic Arts getting sold off in the future and complicate things with Disney? I ask this because this seems like a needed hit for them after Anthem and Battlefront 2 flopped.
I don't think EA will ever sell itself because of SW flops or Anthem. Not as long as their shitty repetitive sports titles keep pumping out free cash.
 
The only way that happens if Disney gets new management within the next few months should Iger get embodied in a scandal.

Also @GeneralFriendliness, since Jedi: Fallen Order is coming out, do you see Electronic Arts getting sold off in the future and complicate things with Disney? I ask this because this seems like a needed hit for them after Anthem and Battlefront 2 flopped.
Hate to burst your bubble but nothing's going to happen to EA as long as they can crank out yearly Fifa and Madden titles.
 
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