Terrible SJW Movie Sequel/Rehash/Reboot Ideas - Do your worst.

[Dolphin Lundgren]

Why did you have to bring back that bad memory of that cringey Tumblr Titanic post, @Diabeetus-chan?

 

[UnKillFill]

Why did you have to bring back that bad memory of that cringey Tumblr Titanic post, @Diabeetus-chan?

Titanic? More like the remake, TiTRANic. The first Hollywood blockbuster film to feature an entire cast of transsexuals.

 

[Caz]

Red Dawn. Only this time, America is not really invaded. After a democrat wins the presidency, ze (am I using this correctly?) is overthrown in a coup organised by right wing militias and elements of the military, lead by the rich tycoon who lost the election and who is also supported by Russia. Also, the Wolverines are a group of art students supported by the Intel community and they battle evil right wing militias (almost all of them dissapointed Berniebros or some shit) and russian Spetznatz.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Heathers by Netflix will be a happy movie about a fat black lesbian bullied in school by white women who voted for Trump as she teams up with her genderqueer lover, JD who is a mexican to kill them along with all the other cis-white Trump Voters but it's a good thing and both are awarded Noble Peace Prizes by President Hillary Clinton for their valiant efforts.

 

[Secret Asshole]

1984 except Eurasia is patriarchy, white men and rape culture. The government censors freedom of speech because feelings are worth more than facts, and anything that goes against the government's narrative is labeled as propaganda from Eurasia. People are encouraged to report on each other for thought crimes and are awarded social status for it. Major companies work with the government and censor because the populace is too gullible for thoughts against the mainstream and they need to be manipulated. surveillance apparatus are built into every device the people use, allowing for the government to monitor its citizens 24 hours a day. Public messages over the intranet that offends someone or hurts their feelings is met with prison by the thought police, no matter the context. White people are guilty of everything, while other races and nationalities are allowed to do whatever they want, unless they go against the government's narrative, then they are labeled as white and subject to everything that white people are. They are free to be hated and mocked. One minute hate is eternal, and everything is encouraged to be exposed. One minute hate is a constant, dopamine release to its citizens, finding anything and everything wrong, so that entertainment, news and the media can be pure and free of hurt feelings, patriarchy, rape culture and misogyny. The upper classes laugh and manipulate everyone, free of criticism because corporations are worshiped as gods and consumption reigns. The corporations and the oligarchy have destroyed religion, replacing it with the cult of outrage and one minute hate, making it as the opiate of the people. Those who retain their faith are mocked and shouted down, except if their faith is that of the crescent, because an oppressed religion is needed for the narrative. The oligarchy drain the wages of the people, ensuring massive debt and poverty among them. But the propaganda persists and the people ignore this for their eternal one minute hate and the war with Eurasia.

Wilson is a university professor who thinks for himself and tries to encourage critical thought. A female black trans student is offended by this and reports him for rape. He is dragged in front of a kangaroo court, not allowed a lawyer, to present evidence, or to speak. He is accused, not allowed to refute anything, while the crying victim can't remember anything or keep their story straight. Wilson has an air-tight alibi but is not allowed to present it. As a result, he loses his job at the university. No one else will hire him. He hasn't been convicted by the police, but everyone recognizes him as a rapist. He bears 'the mark'. Eventually, no one will hire him as citizens constantly report him to his employers, rewarded with the euphoria of righteousness. Eventually Wilson ends up homeless. The movie ends with Wilson overdosing on heroin to kill himself, while a news story is scrubbed. Its about the incredibly high suicide rate and homelessness among white men. Its replaced with a story about if hoop earrings worn by white women is cultural appropriation.

Oh wait, that's reality. Sorry, I got confused.

 

[SamTheEagle]

To Kill a Mockingbird. Tom Robinson is an able-bodied white man who Atticus proves really did rape Mayella Ewell. And Boo Radley is black, because why not?

 

[Shiny Shroodle]

So instead of God's Not Dead, it would be Allah's Not Dead. :islamic:

In that case, you could turn any Christian movie into a Muslim one. They'll of course be about Muslim persecution and/or living in Drumpfgsfds's America. Christianity will be seen as a whitey religion and thus evil and racist. Since these films are remade by lefty Hollywood, they'll ignore the things they don't like such as how homophobic and misogynistic Muslims are because that doesn't fit the narrative. All negative ratings/criticism towards these movies is just Islamophobia!

 

[Shokew]

1984 except Eurasia is patriarchy, white men and rape culture. The government censors freedom of speech because feelings are worth more than facts, and anything that goes against the government's narrative is labeled as propaganda from Eurasia. People are encouraged to report on each other for thought crimes and are awarded social status for it. Major companies work with the government and censor because the populace is too gullible for thoughts against the mainstream and they need to be manipulated. surveillance apparatus are built into every device the people use, allowing for the government to monitor its citizens 24 hours a day. Public messages over the intranet that offends someone or hurts their feelings is met with prison by the thought police, no matter the context. White people are guilty of everything, while other races and nationalities are allowed to do whatever they want, unless they go against the government's narrative, then they are labeled as white and subject to everything that white people are. They are free to be hated and mocked. One minute hate is eternal, and everything is encouraged to be exposed. One minute hate is a constant, dopamine release to its citizens, finding anything and everything wrong, so that entertainment, news and the media can be pure and free of hurt feelings, patriarchy, rape culture and misogyny. The upper classes laugh and manipulate everyone, free of criticism because corporations are worshiped as gods and consumption reigns. The corporations and the oligarchy have destroyed religion, replacing it with the cult of outrage and one minute hate, making it as the opiate of the people. Those who retain their faith are mocked and shouted down, except if their faith is that of the crescent, because an oppressed religion is needed for the narrative. The oligarchy drain the wages of the people, ensuring massive debt and poverty among them. But the propaganda persists and the people ignore this for their eternal one minute hate and the war with Eurasia.

Wilson is a university professor who thinks for himself and tries to encourage critical thought. A female black trans student is offended by this and reports him for rape. He is dragged in front of a kangaroo court, not allowed a lawyer, to present evidence, or to speak. He is accused, not allowed to refute anything, while the crying victim can't remember anything or keep their story straight. Wilson has an air-tight alibi but is not allowed to present it. As a result, he loses his job at the university. No one else will hire him. He hasn't been convicted by the police, but everyone recognizes him as a rapist. He bears 'the mark'. Eventually, no one will hire him as citizens constantly report him to his employers, rewarded with the euphoria of righteousness. Eventually Wilson ends up homeless. The movie ends with Wilson overdosing on heroin to kill himself, while a news story is scrubbed. Its about the incredibly high suicide rate and homelessness among white men. Its replaced with a story about if hoop earrings worn by white women is cultural appropriation.

Oh wait, that's reality. Sorry, I got confused.

The future we chose and didn't avoid..... AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH.

As for me, Men in Black - only they're all women and the scum of the universe they're out to keep everyone safe from in their eyes is the patriarchy. Simple as that. I smell a trilogy, as in every movie gets worse as it goes along, with the series ending with all men being exterminated.

 

[Munchingonfish]

Death Note (20gayteen)

Tumblr user Valencia Gomez orders a new sketchbook from Amazon to continue her lifelong Ed, Edd and Eddy yaoi fan fiction. When the package arrives, she notices something is off. This was not the pastel purple cover she ordered. It was hot pink. Leafing through the pages, she spots a list of rules at the end of the book. They appear to be written in some Asian script, but Valencia is a super genius who works for Google and immediately translates it.

"The human whose name is written in this note shall die."

Valencia tosses the book aside and laughs. For a moment she thinks about sending it back to Amazon but figures it's not the worth the hassle. Instead, she sips on her Starbucks coffee (decaf) and types up another one of her Patreon updates. This time, she admits that the latest chapter in her fan fiction will be delayed by another six months because of the trauma inflicted by the mismatched book.

While procrastinating, she logs on to her Mastodon profile. Her friends are tooting about current U.S. president Ronald Drumpler. The latest outrage comes from a comment he made on Twitter. "One scoop of ice cream is good. But two is better. Kids in Africa don't get any scoops! Many such cases. Sad!" Doesn't he know that they have a lower tolerance to lactose than white people? How can he be so racist.

Valenica posts the Patreon update and turns off the computer.

She turns on her TV. Michelle Laddow's show is about to start on MSNBC. First up is coverage about Drumpler's ice cream statements. Valencia turns up the volume and goes to the kitchen to prepare dinner. While cooking her tofu burger, she overhears Laddow's show.

BREAKING NEWS: DRUMPLER BANS TRANSGENDER PEOPLE FROM THE MILITARY AND CLAIMS UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS WERE NEVER ALLOWED IN

Valencia spits out her soylent drink and drops her spatula. She was born in Mexico. Her parents crossed the border when she 16. At the time, she was known as Vincent Gomez. In a fit of rage, she rushes back to the sketch book and draws Drumpler in Nazi regalia with a noose around his neck. Since her art is post modern, she labels it DEATH OF RONALD DRUMPLER for people to fully understand the context. She snaps a photo of it and shares it on Tumblr and Mastodon.

Still literally shaking, Valencia finishes up dinner and goes to bed.

Her phone begins to vibrate at 4:20 AM. It won't stop. Valencia picks it up. It's a Google employee-wide text chain.

Drumpler is dead.

He apparently hanged himself while in a military outfit. Is Drumpler's tyranny really over once and for all? Reich Lence is announced as the president immediately. A reporter from the Huffington Post spots Valencia's art and offers an interview over how eerie a coincidence it is that she depicted the president's death hours before it happened. Having seen what her friends went through by getting media attention through Gamergate, Valencia declines.

Days and months blur by. Valencia sketches a traffic cop who told her to slowdown. The cute clerk at the store who misgenders her. A Nazi on 4chan she doxxed. She doesn't truly notice the connection between her art and death until she sketches a portrait of her family. She drew it as an apology for lashing out at her parents for suggesting that she should take an art class. On the day of their funeral, she flips through her sketch book and realizes that every human she's drawn in it has died. She remembers the rules at the back and reads them all. A smirk is seen across her double chins.

Valencia's first target is Reich Lence and the remaining Rethuglicans. Through her connections at Google, she finds every donor and member of the RNC. All of their names get written in the book. With Hillary Winston now president, Valencia shifts gears to Russia. They were instrumental in securing Ronald Drumpler's victory. Over 150 million people mysteriously die of heart attacks within a few weeks. The police would investigate, but Valencia already wrote their names down. As employees of Drumpler, she had to stop their oppression.

With the last doxxable straight cis white person dead, Valencia decides it's time to retire the Death Note. She calls Amazon customer service and asks to exchange the book for the pastel purple one she originally ordered. The agent apologizes, saying that Valencia is months past the exchange window. Confusing her baritone voice for that of a man, he mistakenly refers to Valencia as a man. She demands to know his full name. He says it's against company policy to give that kind of info out. Frustrated, Valencia only sees one way out. She writes her own name in the Death Note.

A month after Valencia's death, the Huffington Post writer discovers the truth about Valencia and her note book. The movie ends on a shot of the site's home page.

VALENCIA GOMEZ: AN TRUE HERO

 

[vhstape]

Matrix: but it's metaphor for gamergate, with the heroes being strong women and the agents being nerd beard nerds
Forrest Gump: He gets arrested for rape after the Jenny college scene, rest of the movie is a courtroom drama
Pretty Woman: But people only give her respect when she is still a street hooker
Her: Just make the ai a dude and it's all gay
Back to the Future: But Marty gets shamed for stealing Johnny B Goode from Chuck Berry
Soul Man: Race switched to a black man going in white face
Ace Ventura Pet Detective: but ends with everyone wanting to have sex with the tranny
Pulp Fiction: without anyone saying nigger
The Passion of the Christ: but with Idris Elba as Jesus

 

[Zaryiu]

Lord of The Rings but everyone is a fat, hairy woman, Sauron takes the form of conventional beauty standards and the ring gives you UWU PTSD.
The elves have in-humanly big noses and vitiligo instead of pointy ears.

So Amazon version?

1984 except Eurasia is patriarchy, white men and rape culture. The government censors freedom of speech because feelings are worth more than facts, and anything that goes against the government's narrative is labeled as propaganda from Eurasia. People are encouraged to report on each other for thought crimes and are awarded social status for it. Major companies work with the government and censor because the populace is too gullible for thoughts against the mainstream and they need to be manipulated. surveillance apparatus are built into every device the people use, allowing for the government to monitor its citizens 24 hours a day. Public messages over the intranet that offends someone or hurts their feelings is met with prison by the thought police, no matter the context. White people are guilty of everything, while other races and nationalities are allowed to do whatever they want, unless they go against the government's narrative, then they are labeled as white and subject to everything that white people are. They are free to be hated and mocked. One minute hate is eternal, and everything is encouraged to be exposed. One minute hate is a constant, dopamine release to its citizens, finding anything and everything wrong, so that entertainment, news and the media can be pure and free of hurt feelings, patriarchy, rape culture and misogyny. The upper classes laugh and manipulate everyone, free of criticism because corporations are worshiped as gods and consumption reigns. The corporations and the oligarchy have destroyed religion, replacing it with the cult of outrage and one minute hate, making it as the opiate of the people. Those who retain their faith are mocked and shouted down, except if their faith is that of the crescent, because an oppressed religion is needed for the narrative. The oligarchy drain the wages of the people, ensuring massive debt and poverty among them. But the propaganda persists and the people ignore this for their eternal one minute hate and the war with Eurasia.

Wilson is a university professor who thinks for himself and tries to encourage critical thought. A female black trans student is offended by this and reports him for rape. He is dragged in front of a kangaroo court, not allowed a lawyer, to present evidence, or to speak. He is accused, not allowed to refute anything, while the crying victim can't remember anything or keep their story straight. Wilson has an air-tight alibi but is not allowed to present it. As a result, he loses his job at the university. No one else will hire him. He hasn't been convicted by the police, but everyone recognizes him as a rapist. He bears 'the mark'. Eventually, no one will hire him as citizens constantly report him to his employers, rewarded with the euphoria of righteousness. Eventually Wilson ends up homeless. The movie ends with Wilson overdosing on heroin to kill himself, while a news story is scrubbed. Its about the incredibly high suicide rate and homelessness among white men. Its replaced with a story about if hoop earrings worn by white women is cultural appropriation.

Oh wait, that's reality. Sorry, I got confused.

...Well now I am depressed

 

[Iceland Heavy]

Passion of the Christ with Jesus as a black proto-maoist who fights against the white Roman man. He gets beat down and crucified after leading Judea in a peaceful protest against police legionary brutality by Pontius Pilate who is now a Drumpf stand-in that wants to genocide the Palestinians and build a wall to keep out the peaceful Parthians. The religious aspect is pretty much completely ignored.

 

[UnKillFill]

The remake of "The Greatest Story Ever Told" will be a Muhammadd biopic. It will gloss over his more murderous actions, as well as his 6 year old wife.

 

[The Nothingness]

I sense a pattern with some of these movie ideas but given they are terrible SJW related, of course a lot of these movies would end up being the same thing.

For mine idea, Casablanca set in modern-day New York City where POCs, women, homosexuals, and trans fearing the Fourth Reich brought about by now-Chancellor Trump wait with baited breath for their chance to flee to Canada, England, France, or another progressive European country. Rick is a self-hating white man who owns a coffee shop and with his past history as part of Antifa, he has various connections and means of getting refugees out of the US. His black ex-lover, who has now transitioned into a woman, ends up at his place with her Mexican husband (whom she thought died in an ICE concentration camp when she met Rick). Rick lets them go even though she still loves him because he has no testosterone from drinking too much soy. But at least her husband got him a Nintendo Switch.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Overboard, and everything is almost exactly the same, except it's a rich man being hoodwinked by a crass working class woman, she takes advantage of him sexually right from the start, and when he regains his memory he's made out to be a monster for feeling like he's been used and very quickly gives into her pressure to actually marry her and give her and her bitchy daughters all his money.

 

[BeanBidan]

Can I just call Steven Universe a Iron Giant remake.
It's not good unlike the former
It has something from another world
The main character befriends said alien(s) except one isn't a fat exceptional kid.

 

[Shokew]

Can I just call Steven Universe a Iron Giant remake.
It's not good unlike the former
It has something from another world
The main character befriends said alien(s) except one isn't a fat exceptional kid.

I love it - let's make a trilogy out of it, right the fuck now!

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Live action reboot of Doug and it's about how Roger has devolved into a Trump-Supporting man in his mid-30's who is also the president of a white supremacist biker gang. Doug's mom is portrayed by a manlet in a wig, who owes them a hefty payment sorely because she's an ugly midget who lost two feet to diabetes.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

The Human Centipede, but the mad scientist is a misunderstood lesbian trying to create the most satisfying sex position with her black, trans, Pagan partners.

 

[UnKillFill]

Remakes are great and all, but I would genuinely like to see some more socially justarded *sequels* to actual films. The older, the better. (I'd like to think that *we* have more creativity than people from like 20 years ago.)