Terrible SJW Movie Sequel/Rehash/Reboot Ideas - Do your worst.

[Dolphin Lundgren]

Knocked Up but instead of it being a romantic comedy, Ben goes to prison for raping Alison after they both have drunk sex.
(I don't care, @UnKillFill, this one is staying.)

 

[JambledUpWords]

A newly rebooted Harry Potter series 2025

Harry Potter will be a genderqueer, gay, fat, African. He will be known as “The Person That Lived”. Sometimes, she will be known as Harriet, depending on the day. Other times, their name will be Xarry.

The Dursleys will all be supportive of Nigel Farrage and Le Pen. They will also be white supremacists as well as having a hatred for magic since they are now fundamentalist Christians. They put Harry’s room in a closet because the Dursleys think that Harry is possessed by demons.

Dumbledore will still be gay, as well as being Nigerian. He will always let everyone know his identity whenever possible.

Hagrid will be a half-giant that has high-functioning autism. He’ll still be white, so he will automatically be oppressing all POCs

Hermione will be an intersectional feminist that knows everything, to a point where Harry isn’t needed. They also know more than all the professors, even on the first day of school. They are a stronger wizard than Dumbledore by age 11. They save the day and never get hurt or lose a fight. They are also Muslim. Despite being Muslim, their parents are super supportive of them with their pursuits in magic and pay for everything they need. They are also black and non-binary.

The entire Weasley family is all white, but they are woke to the plight of everyone else. It is a rule in the Weasley house that everyone is an intersectional feminist. Despite this, Hermione still doesn’t trust them since they outrank them (Hermione) in privilege since they are fully-magical, cisgender, straight, and white household. Only white people like them will be safe (sorry Hagrid).

Anyone in Slytherin is an automatic white supremacist and hates everyone that does not have magic. Legend has it that the muggle ex-President Trump knew about these people and openly supported them. The only good Slytherins are Sirius Black ( he’s not really a Slytherin, but has enough Slytherin family members that he is guilty based on his association) and Snape because they die to repent of ever being associated with Slytherin.

Voldemort is the ultimate evil and regularly meets with his death eaters (Trump is part of this group, but always in disguise).

The big twist in this is that Voldemort is simply the face of the death eaters, but Trump is the actual leader. Hermione finds this out on their own after killing Voldemort. Harriet tells Hermione that her scar still hurts. With their superior magic, Hermione discovers all of Trump’s horcruxes on their own (most are in Trump Tower in NYC). After, they kill Trump and peace is restored for muggles and those with magic. Hermione proceeds to be the Head of Hogwarts at age 16. They establish Muslim dominance and they personally kill all Slytherins.

 

[UnKillFill]

A newly rebooted Harry Potter series 2025
Harry Potter will be a genderqueer, gay, fat, African. He will be known as “The Person That Lived”.

"Living" is discriminatory to the dead. Educate yourself shit lord.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

A newly rebooted Harry Potter series 2025

Harry Potter will be a genderqueer, gay, fat, African. He will be known as “The Person That Lived”. Sometimes, she will be known as Harriet, depending on the day. Other times, their name will be Xarry.

The Dursleys will all be supportive of Nigel Farrage and Le Pen. They will also be white supremacists as well as having a hatred for magic since they are now fundamentalist Christians. They put Harry’s room in a closet because the Dursleys think that Harry is possessed by demons.

Dumbledore will still be gay, as well as being Nigerian. He will always let everyone know his identity whenever possible.

Hagrid will be a half-giant that has high-functioning autism. He’ll still be white, so he will automatically be oppressing all POCs

Hermione will be an intersectional feminist that knows everything, to a point where Harry isn’t needed. They also know more than all the professors, even on the first day of school. They are a stronger wizard than Dumbledore by age 11. They save the day and never get hurt or lose a fight. They are also Muslim. Despite being Muslim, their parents are super supportive of them with their pursuits in magic and pay for everything they need. They are also black and non-binary.

The entire Weasley family is all white, but they are woke to the plight of everyone else. It is a rule in the Weasley house that everyone is an intersectional feminist. Despite this, Hermione still doesn’t trust them since they outrank them (Hermione) in privilege since they are fully-magical, cisgender, straight, and white household. Only white people like them will be safe (sorry Hagrid).

Anyone in Slytherin is an automatic white supremacist and hates everyone that does not have magic. Legend has it that the muggle ex-President Trump knew about these people and openly supported them. The only good Slytherins are Sirius Black and Snape because they die to repent of ever being associated with Slytherin.

Voldemort is the ultimate evil and regularly meets with his death eaters (Trump is part of this group, but always in disguise).

The big twist in this is that Voldemort is simply the face of the death eaters, but Trump is the actual leader. Hermione finds this out on their own after killing Voldemort. Harriet tells Hermione that her scar still hurts. With their superior magic, Hermione discovers all of Trump’s horcruxes on their own (most are in Trump Tower in NYC). After, they kill Trump and peace is restored for muggles and those with magic. Hermione proceeds to be the Head of Hogwarts at age 16. They establish Muslim dominance and they personally kill all Slytherins.

JK Rowling would probably support this reboot.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

A sequel to Cannibal Holocaust, where another crew goes to film the tribe, only these guys are far more accepting of their culture and aren't a group of assholes. The cannibals are still rapists and willing to eat other people, but the crew portrays this in a positive light, unlike the previous crew who intentionally made them look bad. And because the crew accepts the cannibal's different culture, they are eaten like the last crew because they're fucking cannibals the cannibals make peace with them and become the stars of a documentary showing the benefits of accepting cultures unfamiliar to our own.

 

[JambledUpWords]

JK Rowling would probably support this reboot.

She needs to be woke or else her fan base will throw a tantrum.

 

[Red Hood]

Why not just make him a tranny and have him survive because of losing the weight of his cock and balls?

Leo weighs at most 20 lbs more than Winona.

Live action reboot of Doug and it's about how Roger has devolved into a Trump-Supporting man in his mid-30's who is also the president of a white supremacist biker gang. Doug's mom is portrayed by a manlet in a wig, who owes them a hefty payment sorely because she's an ugly midget who lost two feet to diabetes.

Is Skeeter still blue? HONK HONK

 

[Zaryiu]

Dredd but Big Mama is the Hero and Dreed dies at the end with the reveal it was Trump all along shooting poor mintorities

 

[Luthien]

Gone With the Wind. Enough said.

 

[Shokew]

A remake to either Hocus Pocus, or even worse in this case, The Witches, where the supposed antagonists are the misunderstood good guys.

That's all, dropping the mic.

 

[CWCchange]

A Nondenominational Winter Holiday Story, where Ralphie is Ralphxe, played by that genderfluid kid from the "What’s a computer?" iPad commercial. There will be no tongue stuck to a pole scene because climate change melted all of the ice, and Ralphxe shooting his eye out with his Red Ryder will be an allusion arguing for gun control.

At the end of the movie, they get some Indian food and break out in a Bollywood dance.

 

[UnKillFill]

A continuation of Captain Planet set in modern day.

Kwame is now a high-ranking leader in black lives matter and antifa. He is frequently shown leading violent protests and using his earth powers to fuck white people's shit up.
Wheeler is a maga hat wearing Trump supporter who frequently "colludes" with Linka. He is the butt of most of the episodes jokes, and frequently at odds with the other members because of his alt-right leanings.
Linka is a of course a high ranking KGB agent, implied to answer directly to Putin.
Gi became a TERF, and gained 200 pounds to more closely identify with "whales" she loves or something.
Ma-Ti was killed in a violent uprising in his home country when "not real Socialism" failed. The monkey has his ring now.

The premise is pretty much the same as the original show, they have to team together (which isn't easy because of their differing political ideologies.) to stop the republicans from polluting the planet. (Wheeler goes along with this for reasons that are not explained)

 

[Staffy]

Red Dawn. Only this time, America is not really invaded. After a democrat wins the presidency, ze (am I using this correctly?) is overthrown in a coup organised by right wing militias and elements of the military, lead by the rich tycoon who lost the election and who is also supported by Russia. Also, the Wolverines are a group of art students supported by the Intel community and they battle evil right wing militias (almost all of them dissapointed Berniebros or some shit) and russian Spetznatz.

Instead of some american soldiers appearing out of nowhere in the middle of the movie to help the Wolverines it would be some scrawny hipster faggots from silicon valley, complete with beards, ugly glasses, equipped with the latest hipster gadgets out there but the most important one would be the latest iPhone model.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

la la land but theyre fat, black, trans lesbians and it ends with an orgy

 

[Doctor of Autism]

A continuation of Captain Planet set in modern day.

Kwame is now a high-ranking leader in black lives matter and antifa. He is frequently shown leading violent protests and using his earth powers to fuck white people's shit up.
Wheeler is a maga hat wearing Trump supporter who frequently "colludes" with Linka. He is the butt of most of the episodes jokes, and frequently at odds with the other members because of his alt-right leanings.
Linka is a of course a high ranking KGB agent, implied to answer directly to Putin.
Gi became a TERF, and gained 200 pounds to more closely identify with "whales" she loves or something.
Ma-Ti was killed in a violent uprising in his home country when "not real Socialism" failed. The monkey has his ring now.

The premise is pretty much the same as the original show, they have to team together (which isn't easy because of their differing political ideologies.) to stop the republicans from polluting the planet. (Wheeler goes along with this for reasons that are not explained)

This is basically the same show though.

 

[A Poo]

Madea but she's gay.

 

[ASoulMan]

Winnie the Pooh except all the animals and Christopher Robin are gay and have many hot and tight orgies that make you feel good and want to rub one off too just looking at it.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Captain N but it’s about an obese mtf trans woman who is in video game land and with the help of strong females, she helps fight against the toxic masculinity in gaming to show how great girls are at games to show it to those sexist shitlords.

 

[Penultimo]

The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim, but for whatever reason you can only play as a redguard woman, nords are nowhere to be seen (except as bandits), the stormcloacks are one-dimensional and incompetent (a lot more they already are) thalmor wannabes and Nazeem is marriable.

 

[Xerxes IX]

Fight Club, or rather "Angry Twitter Post Club". We follow our main character, your everyman ambiguously brown troon lesbian who is being oppressed by normal society. He then meets Tyler Durden, a fellow POC queer who makes a living ebegging for patreon shekels for selling soap. Xe gets the main character woke on the fact that those evil white male politicians are indeed the root of all evil. They form the Angry Twitter Post Club, a way for all the POC queers to deal with being oppressed by posting screeds against republican politicians and DRUMPF on twitter. Eventually they form their own Antifa type group Project Mayhem. The main character learns Tyler is his split personality but that's perfectly okay because he isn't ableist and all mental illness should be accepted. He also doesn't disagree with Tyler and doesn't try to stop xim, so the movie ends with Project Mayhem successfully knocking over some trashcans and breaking the window of the local Starbucks.