Tesla Hate Thread - oh and come seethe about EVs in general with me

[Stella d'Oro]

For a while we had a few basic EVs that weren't always-connected computers on wheels. We had the Nissan Leaf, Focus Electric, VW E-Golf, first generation Chevy Bolt, Smart ForTwo Electric, Mercedes B250e. They were just...normal economy cars with an electric powertrain. They didn't have hundreds of miles of range and weren't going to compete with Tesla on tech but they made wonderful city cars. Maybe the buyers shopping in that class in the 2010s weren't ready to make the switch to electric.

 

[Michael McDoesntexist]

For a while we had a few basic EVs that weren't always-connected computers on wheels. We had the Nissan Leaf, Focus Electric, VW E-Golf, first generation Chevy Bolt, Smart ForTwo Electric, Mercedes B250e. They were just...normal economy cars with an electric powertrain. They didn't have hundreds of miles of range and weren't going to compete with Tesla on tech but they made wonderful city cars. Maybe the buyers shopping in that class in the 2010s weren't ready to make the switch to electric.

I don't hate EVs, even if I think the claim of them usurping gas cars is nonsense. I can respect basic ones like these. But I 100% hate the overly fancy Tesla clones. ALL cars need to be more basic, unpretentious, and designed with USER serviceability in mind. Would be required if I were in charge. I said this before: Serviceability is sustainability.

 

[byron]

it requires internet connectivity between the phone and car to unlock and drive.

That simply isn’t true. You can use the phone as a key to open the door and drive the car even when you don’t have an internet connection. It uses Bluetooth for that.

You can also use the app to unlock the doors. You can do that from anywhere in the world …with an internet connection. The guy in the twitter thread must have been content to use the app, and never made his phone act as a key. That kind of does make him an idiot because it means that every time he walked up to the car, he was taking out his phone, firing up the app, going to the “controls” page of the app, and pressing the unlock button. He’s an idiot for not thinking, “is this really how it’s supposed to work??? Why can’t I just grab the handle like every other car???”

Had he asked that question, then he would have set up his phone as the key, and not had any trouble in the park.

 

[The Ugly One]

That simply isn’t true. You can use the phone as a key to open the door and drive the car even when you don’t have an internet connection. It uses Bluetooth for that.

You can also use the app to unlock the doors. You can do that from anywhere in the world …with an internet connection. The guy in the twitter thread must have been content to use the app, and never made his phone act as a key. That kind of does make him an idiot because it means that every time he walked up to the car, he was taking out his phone, firing up the app, going to the “controls” page of the app, and pressing the unlock button. He’s an idiot for not thinking, “is this really how it’s supposed to work??? Why can’t I just grab the handle like every other car???”

Had he asked that question, then he would have set up his phone as the key, and not had any trouble in the park.

The app shouldn't have let him set it up for wifi and not bluetooth. Always assume the user is lazy.

 

[indomitable snowman]

That simply isn’t true.

I have this thing called a key. It works without a phone app or bluetooth or even internet connectivity. The car battery could be dead and I can still unlock the car.
The guy also was renting a tesla and obviously not knowledgeable about the ins and outs of EV ownership.

 

[Hunter Hearst Helmsley]

Replacing the basic key fob is just so pointless. People have house keys, they need to carry a keychain anyway.

 

[DavidS877]

Replacing the basic key fob is just so pointless. People have house keys, they need to carry a keychain anyway.

Imagine not using a smartlock for your front door.

As I recall the Tesla was a rental, so they likely did the minimum possible so they could drive it as they didn't want to sit and dick around with it at the rental lot.

 

[indomitable snowman]

Imagine not using a smartlock for your front door.

As I recall the Tesla was a rental, so they likely did the minimum possible so they could drive it as they didn't want to sit and dick around with it at the rental lot.

Alexa, unlock the front door.

 

[byron]

I have this thing called a key. It works without a phone app or bluetooth or even internet connectivity. The car battery could be dead and I can still unlock the car.

That's not a criticism of tesla though. That's just being an old man yelling at the clouds. Modern cars have fobs. Tesla has a fob too - it also has a key card - it also has the bluetooth option. So, it's like every other modern car but with two additional options.

Also, in every modern car that I'm aware of, the window has to roll down a bit for the door to open. As a result, even if you had a key, trying to open the door with the battery dead is going to damage it.

Anyway, to keep with the topic of the thread, I'll also respond to this:

Alexa, unlock the front door.

I can have Siri open doors and stuff on my tesla. It's really convenient to pop the frunk when I have groceries in both hands. The problem is, "frunk" is too close to "trunk" and a lot of times, siri opens that back instead of the front. One time it did this while in the garage with the door down and scratched the rear door.

There doesn't appear to be a way for me to disable the trunk command while keeping the frunk command. Lame!

 

[DavidS877]

Also, in every modern car that I'm aware of, the window has to roll down a bit for the door to open. As a result, even if you had a key, trying to open the door with the battery dead is going to damage it.

Funny, my EV unlocks and opens just fine with a key. Then inside there's a manual trunk release so you can jump the 12V battery if you need it.

 

[byron]

my EV unlocks and opens just fine with a key.

Help me understand why you believe that's a meaningful response to: "in every modern car that I'm aware of, the window has to roll down a bit for the door to open. As a result, even if you had a key, trying to open the door with the battery dead is going to damage it."

 

[DavidS877]

Help me understand why you believe that's a meaningful response to: "in every modern car that I'm aware of, the window has to roll down a bit for the door to open. As a result, even if you had a key, trying to open the door with the battery dead is going to damage it."

There's at least one car you're not aware of. Mostly because most cars are not Teslas.

 

[indomitable snowman]

in every modern car that I'm aware of, the window has to roll down a bit for the door to open

Only for frameless car doors. That's hardly "every modern car"

I can have Siri open doors and stuff on my tesla. It's really convenient to pop the frunk when I have groceries in both hands. The problem is, "frunk" is too close to "trunk" and a lot of times, siri opens that back instead of the front. One time it did this while in the garage with the door down and scratched the rear door.

I now read every one of your posts in an Indian accent. How many student driver stickers do you have on your Tesla?

 

[byron]

There's at least one car you're not aware of.

Please try to focus.

I pointed out that, even with a key ...even if your car has a key ...even if the car that you own has a physical key that you have in your hand ...if the batter is dead and you try to open the door, you may damage the car.

Here it is in cave man speak: key no matter. key irrelevant.

So, I say that.

Then you reply, "my EV has a key"

So then I'm confused. You didn't respond to anything I said. I said "key no matter" and you said, "but I have key!!!"

I point this out to you, and you reply, "you don't know about my car"

wtf is going on??

Only for frameless car doors. That's hardly "every modern car"

Fair enough. Every car I've had for the last 10 years worked that way. I did have a truck that didn't work that, but all the cars have. I assumed it was the norm now.

I now read every one of your posts in an Indian accent.

Sar! This is the designated shitting (on tesla) thread!

 

[The Ugly One]

my truck has a key
i like trucks

 

[Jackel Nytekin]

Elon Musk raped my babysitter, and made her pussy too loose to enjoy on summer break.

What a great guy.

 

[Seymour Duncan]

For a while we had a few basic EVs that weren't always-connected computers on wheels. We had the Nissan Leaf, Focus Electric, VW E-Golf, first generation Chevy Bolt, Smart ForTwo Electric, Mercedes B250e. They were just...normal economy cars with an electric powertrain. They didn't have hundreds of miles of range and weren't going to compete with Tesla on tech but they made wonderful city cars. Maybe the buyers shopping in that class in the 2010s weren't ready to make the switch to electric.

Turns out there still is a market for these.



The Renault 5 is almost anachronistic in how the user experience just fucking makes sense for once and is actually genuinely fun to drive. It's been a while since I've been actually impressed by modern slop.

 

[Voloromir of bad Yuristan]

Turns out there still is a market for these.

Not gonna lie, I was really wanting to buy it three years ago when it's was "two weeks" from coming out, but I took a look when it released and it just isn't for me at all, if they made a version with a semi solid state battery that made around 600km of range, I would just save for a couple of years and buy it, even if it's like 35k to buy.
I personally ended buying a hybrid clio and I'm really comfortable with the size it's got, but I just don't want to throw the house out the window every time I use it with the gas prices in some places here in europistan, probably my best choice would be an economical scooter with around 3~3.5 liters per 100 kilometers.

 

[Stella d'Oro]

if they made a version with a semi solid state battery that made around 600km of range,

Are you not able to charge at home or do you regularly take long trips? I fell into the trip of worrying about range when I bought my EV but in reality it's a non-issue. I have a level 2 charger at home and only plug in every few days unless it's really cold out, and I really don't take many long trips. If the city were to crack down on antisocial behavior on public transit I wouldn't need a car most of the time, but until that day comes I'll drive myself and not expose myself to second hand meth smoke.

 

[TheTitKoker]

Until these microwaves that can't even fucking cook start getting 340-420 mile range on 4 minute charge - they can go fuck themselves. Exhaust smell puts hair on your chest to boot.