The (likely redundant) Chris and Work thread

[Marvin]

IF Chris got a job he would likely quit or just stop showing up after a few days and tell Barb he got fired because the Manajerk has some irrational hatred of Autistic people. You just know Barb would believe it.

Heh, oh, she'd believe it. Once. But it wouldn't end there. Barb can't "believe" q-sands onto the table.

Of course, I don't think they'll have a dire enough situation where Barb would force Chris to get a job. But if Barb needed him to, Chris would eventually succeed. Or Chris and Barb would get arrested in some altercation, possibly with the latest boss to fire Chris.

 

[cahoots]

Chris is intelligent enough to hold down a menial job. It's his ego, lazyness, and douche baggery that get in the way.

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

I genuinely think Bob getting him on SSDI was just him leaping on the chance to get free money coming into the household. I'm sure Bob would have loved to have a normal, productive Son as well as a monthly cash boost courtesy of Uncle Sam, but one of them required a ton of effort and good parenting over a grand number of years, the other just required him to wait until Chris turned 18 and fill in some forms.

What I would love to know is what exactly Bob put on those forms, surely it's not just "high functioning Autistic" I wouldn't be surprised if the social security office have Chris on record as being a blind, drooling vegetable with no arms

I dunno on this one; Old Bobby was at least of average if not higher then average intelligence (being and engineer and all) it is possible that he realized after the Wendy's and PVCC fiasco that Fatty would never be able to work and tried to do something to provide for his retarded off-spring.

Sadly we'll never really know.

 

[butt in trouble]

Heh, oh, she'd believe it. Once. But it wouldn't end there. Barb can't "believe" q-sands onto the table.

That makes me think of scenario where Chris lies and says he was fired and Bard, being the obnoxious old lady she is calls the business to complain. What would she do when she was informed he quit on his own? A.) Drop the subject entirely and give up on Chris ever being employed. B.) DEMAND they rehire Chris because nothing can ever be Chris' fault. C.) Yell at Chris and make him cry.

 

[___]

I dunno on this one; Old Bobby was at least of average if not higher then average intelligence (being and engineer and all) it is possible that he realized after the Wendy's and PVCC fiasco that Fatty would never be able to work and tried to do something to provide for his retarded off-spring.

Sadly we'll never really know.

Whenever I try to convince myself that Bob or Barb were normal I just remind myself that at one point 3 adults lived in that hoard and none of them did anything about it. Bob thought the best option for dealing with the mirrored house tour video was to have Chris remove it form the internet instead of actually cleaning things up. Chris's SSDI was just an easy money grab.

 

[theobservdr]

Well being an engineer you need good schooling for that and they can be paid very well, Bob applied himself, and it shows, David his half brother is an optometrist, Carol works for the federal government and is really good at math.

Be thankful Chris isn't working for a place that has a union, sad thing is he would never get fired... however the place I work at we have a union, and there are three types of people who work there,

A : People who shut up and do their job, IE myself (because where I work from 6 AM EST - 2:30 PM it is about 38 Degrees Fahrenheit or for people outside the US around 4 Degrees Celcuis

B : Those who complain my work people are generally good, there really isn't complaints about much of anything, probably because they want to keep warm.

C : Those who are lazy (One guy I know would probably fall under this category) (Chris would probably be under this one or under B)

But I am unsure if even a unionized work place would even help Chris or not probably the union wouldn't protect him if he was being too much of a problem.

 

[Mogambo]

The truth is, Chris' online presence and google results would not affect his employment in any way when you consider the jobs he would qualify for and would have a chance at success in getting. However, he would make a major fucking point to tell people to IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS, even possibly putting it on his application. Chris would make it a fucking issue even though it isn't.

They aren't supposed to, but employers discriminate all the time, and if you think they don't then you don't know human nature. They are people after all, and they have no obligation to tell you why they didn't hire you. In Chris' case, even if they didn't care about his antics, employers might very well pass him over simply because they don't want weens running into their place of business and yelling "JULAAAY" to troll Chris. If they think he'd be more drama than he's worth (and, in Chris' case, his worth would simply be doing menial labor at best; in other words, not that much at all) then they won't hire him. It's as simple as that.

And it would be much worse for Chris if they were to dig around and find SheCameforCWC.jpg or his "joke" about raping Rocky. Would you hire someone who did that shit? Would you want to risk possible sexual harassment suits? Idle curiosity is not Chris' friend here. Anyone who starts looking for info on him is going to find a lot of stuff that would likely negatively color their perception of him (if his awkward demeanor, poor hygiene and selfishness didn't already).

 

[Some JERK]

And it would be much worse for Chris if they were to dig around and find SheCameforCWC.jpg or his "joke" about raping Rocky. Would you hire someone who did that shit? Would you want to risk possible sexual harassment suits?

Yeah, no. You do not give Chris a job where he works with or around the public (or even female co-workers). Chris would never understand that work is not a backdrop for his personal fuckmommy-quest.

 

[theobservdr]

yea , some places will check peoples online presence to see if they are a good fit as well. So its best not to have the drunken crazy party pictures posted on facebook.

 

[pickleniggo]

He thinks he should have a job writing and drawing a comic book and that all other tasks are beneath him.

And he refuses to even do that much.

Also could you imagine Chris in front of cash register? Now just remember how well Chris controls his impulses.

"But they bought that burger from ME. That money was BASICALLY PROMISED."

If the dullards I've worked with can find and maintain jobs, I'm 100% sure Chris could. The only thing holding him back is his piss-poor attitude and work-ethic, ingrained into his head at an early age because he was Borb's special little snowflake whose greatest accomplishment is his poor grasp of the English language.

 

[Marvin]

yea , some places will check peoples online presence to see if they are a good fit as well. So its best not to have the drunken crazy party pictures posted on facebook.

Heh, no. We're talking about fast food places. Fast food places don't care if you're a drunk, because you have a pulse and can do basic arithmetic. (Usually)

 

[Quote Me Now]

Chris could get a job at WalMart or something even with his personal history, and he's easily intelligent enough to do such a job. The problem would be in his incredible ability to turn something completely irrelevant into a major issue. I can imagine him alienating all of his coworkers by accusing them all of being with DA TROLLS because they expected him to actually do something at work.

Even if Chris is sealed in a room by himself with no contact with the outside world, he will likely find some way to blame something on outside influence, and that is why he wouldn't last very long in gainful employment.

 

[Mogambo]

Heh, no. We're talking about fast food places. Fast food places don't care if you're a drunk, because you have a pulse and can do basic arithmetic. (Usually)

Not going to disagree with you there, because for the most part they will take anybody. Well, almost anybody. Having a college degree actually seems to hurt in those places. But still, if they knew anything about Chris, then they'd (rightfully) be wary of hiring him, if only to avoid having their restaurant swarmed by weens. Its not like they couldn't find dozens of other, more qualified kids who'd do the same job for the same pay. Only more competently.

 

[Picklechu]

Chris should get a job testing new medications for UVA. It would only be a short drive, and he'd get paid to sit around and do nothing for a few hours after stuffing several candy-like pills down his throat.

 

[scxthursday]

Heh, no. We're talking about fast food places. Fast food places don't care if you're a drunk, because you have a pulse and can do basic arithmetic. (Usually)

Yeah, and neither do call centers like Sitel or any of hem basically. You sit there and talk on the phone. E only thing they care about is their metrics and quality assurance. But, we all know Chris. If he works in a call center, and someone calls in a pisses ol Chrissy off; well that customer is either going to be told to fuck off, or they're going to be called a damn dirty troll for upsetting barbs speshul little retarded Tomgirl snowflake. On the Tomgirl issue, I don't think any employer would take him seriously during a interview if fatty came waddling into the office wearing a skirt or his mommys dress.

 

[Marvin]

Yeah, and neither do call centers like Sitel or any of hem basically. You sit there and talk on the phone. E only thing they care about is their metrics and quality assurance. But, we all know Chris. If he works in a call center, and someone calls in a pisses ol Chrissy off; well that customer is either going to be told to fuck off, or they're going to be called a damn dirty troll for upsetting barbs speshul little retarded Tomgirl snowflake. On the Tomgirl issue, I don't think any employer would take him seriously during a interview if fatty came waddling into the office wearing a skirt or his mommys dress.

Why would he fight with callers? And why would he do tomgirl stuff at an interview?

 

[scxthursday]

Chris should get a job testing new medications for UVA. It would only be a short drive, and he'd get paid to sit around and do nothing for a few hours after stuffing several candy-like pills down his throat.

Hey, they might even have the anti homo cure that OPL has been looking for. Just imagine, OPL being a test rat for UVA pharmaceuticals.... Fucking go ahead Chris, we need you to take four of these 60 mg Oxycodone pills, two of these 4mg Xanax, a 10mg Adderall, and one Viagra. Let us know how you feel in a hour, and if you're up to it, well buddy, you can go over there and eat the decorative soap. But hey, you never know, OPL could end up getting a job swallowing some heavy ass pills, end up squirreling them away, and selling them to kids on his street. OPL, the next drug kingpin. "I AM THE ONE WHO FARTS."

 

[Mogambo]

And why would he do tomgirl stuff at an interview?

Why wouldn't he? You've said yourself that Chris just wears whatever is lying around, and we all know he has notoriously bad judgement. I don't know him well enough to make any assumptions here, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised if he DID show up in full tomgirl attire. Hell, he might even think it counts as "dressing up" to make himself more presentable...

Of course, while we're on the subject, I should imagine tomgirl Chris would be confusing for employers in general. I mean, I'm sure most would misinterpret it as some form of homosexuality or transgendered identity, which means they'd probably try not to offend Chris.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

If Barb forced Chris to get a job, I could imagine him leaving for work every morning, but then skipping and hanging out at McDonalds all day, thinking he was being so clever.

IF Chris got a job he would likely quit or just stop showing up after a few days and tell Barb he got fired because the Manajerk has some irrational hatred of Autistic people. You just know Barb would believe it.

Totally off topic, but this reminds me of a guy my brother went to school with. he left school at the earliest opportunity (age 16) but was too scared to tell his dad, so he got up every morning, put on his school uniform, and went out the door and didn't return until after school hours.

 

[Hyperion]

If Chris was willing to lose weight and eat healthy he could...

wait I'll just stop there.

I was going to suggest he could do medical studies but he's too fat and stupid to even be a guinea pig for experimental drugs.