The (likely redundant) Chris and Work thread

[Marvin]

"Someone", eh?
Really I can't imagine who he would be trying to impress, unless you guys lured him into another fake date.

While he might eventually, he still hasn't given up and just resigned himself to his inevitable lego heartsweet.

 

[NavierStoked]

I'd love to see him host a call-in radio show, where he gets to talk about whatever he wants for the allotted time, but has to answer the caller's questions. All you'd really need to do is have someone on the phones who'd know not to let the Julayweens on the air, and a big flashing red light so Chris knows when to throw to a commercial.

I could see Chris becoming a Wack Packer on the Howard Stern Show. He has an even stronger case now with the whole tomgirl nonsense.

 

[A-Stump]

The only thing keeping Chris from working is the fact of, why work if you can get FREE CASH? If he lost his meagre pittance and ability to buy Lego or vidya, he'd go out and get a job. Who is he going to scare/insult if he's mopping the floors late at night at some place? Hell, there's work programs for slow in da minds like him where they'll place a person in a cubby in factory setting and have them stuff envelops.

 

[theobservdr]

The only thing keeping Chris from working is the fact of, why work if you can get FREE CASH? If he lost his meagre pittance and ability to buy Lego or vidya, he'd go out and get a job. Who is he going to scare/insult if he's mopping the floors late at night at some place? Hell, there's work programs for slow in da minds like him where they'll place a person in a cubby in factory setting and have them stuff envelops.

He probably won't do it since seeing that there would be other people with disabilities, there he will think they are 'windows to hell'

 

[Holdek]

Just putting this up here so that discussion about whether Chris is capable of working, and whether working would affect his tugboat, etc. can be focused here instead of the Update forum. I'm heading off to bed in a few minutes, so if this needs to be locked down, coo.

What are your thoughts on the topic?

 

[An Ounce of Vagina]

The only way Chris could keep a job is if Barb drove him there everyday, then stayed and did the work for him. Chris' only real goal is the avoidance of immediate discomfort or displeasure, and working would cause both. That it will lead to rewards in the future, even in a week or two when he gets his paycheck, is as meaningless to him as if someone told you they planned to pay you forty years from now.

 

[Wakaranai]

People are talking about how Chis won't act until he's backed into a corner.

Thing is, some people don't exactly have the strongest survival instincts. They'll stand on the tracks and stare at the train as it shatters them rather than try to do what it takes to step off.

I think that while Chris clearly doesn't have a problem with making noise and acting from within the confines of his tiny comfort zone, he might be the sort that would sooner crash into slumber under a bridge somewhere than even think of stressing himself out by doing what it takes to hold down a job.

Chris has a lot of flaws, and his biggest one might be his refusal to take criticism to heart. A manager's job is to provide direction and constructive criticism to his employees and then expect them to respond by doing what they're told. For 20-50 hours per week, the managers will regularly tell Chris to stop being TRUE AND HONEST around his coworkers and the customers (if the job includes dealing with customers), to do tasks that sound miserable at the moment, to do something different with his methods of working, and to stop being slow. I can't see Chris taking this gracefully.

 

[Marvin]

The only way Chris could keep a job is if Barb drove him there everyday, then stayed and did the work for him. Chris' only real goal is the avoidance of immediate discomfort or displeasure, and working would cause both. That it will lead to rewards in the future, even in a week or two when he gets his paycheck, is as meaningless to him as if someone told you they planned to pay you forty years from now.

Heh, no disobeying Barb would cause both.

 

[Holdek]

People are talking about how Chis won't act until he's backed into a corner.

Thing is, some people don't exactly have the strongest survival instincts. They'll stand on the tracks and stare at the train as it shatters them rather than try to do what it takes to step off.

I think that while Chris clearly doesn't have a problem with making noise and acting from within the confines of his tiny comfort zone, he might be the sort that would sooner crash into slumber under a bridge somewhere than even think of stressing himself out by doing what it takes to hold down a job.

Chris has a lot of flaws, and his biggest one might be his refusal to take criticism to heart. A manager's job is to provide direction and constructive criticism to his employees and then expect them to respond by doing what they're told. For 20-50 hours per week, the managers will regularly tell Chris to stop being TRUE AND HONEST around his coworkers and the customers (if the job includes dealing with customers), to do tasks that sound miserable at the moment, to do something different with his methods of working, and to stop being slow. I can't see Chris taking this gracefully.

This is true. But, two things:

1. The manager would probably not put Chris in a position to serve customers. He would probably have him in the back pushing a broom.

2. Chris is a pussy. When his manager at Wendy's told him to take out the garbage, Chris probably took out the garbage. Now, he might have done it like a 'tard and spilled garbage all over himself and not change his shirt, but he still obeyed directions.

BTW, I wonder if Chris thought of his boss at Wendy's as a "manajerk," or if that's just a term he applies to managers who deal with him as a customer/loiterer.

 

[theobservdr]

But in Chris' view anyone who holds a managerial position is automatically a manajerk, just think if he watched wrestling, he would call Jimmy Hart, Mr. Fuji, Paul Bearer, and Bobby Heenan manajerks.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Ulilulululululululla or however you spell his name is batshit insane with a number of peculiar characteristics. He was able to find a custodial job that suited his extreme OCD and (as far as I can tell) is very successful at his job and able to hold his own. Chris needs something that suits his traits, unfortunately he doesn't really have many strengths.

 

[Holdek]

Ulilulululululululla or however you spell his name is batshit insane with a number of peculiar characteristics. He was able to find a custodial job that suited his extreme OCD and (as far as I can tell) is very successful at his job and able to hold his own. Chris needs something that suits his traits, unfortunately he doesn't really have many strengths.

He could sort glass. Seriously, he could.

 

[Wakaranai]

This is true. But, two things:

1. The manager would probably not put Chris in a position to serve customers. He would probably have him in the back pushing a broom.

2. Chris is a pussy. When his manager at Wendy's told him to take out the garbage, Chris probably took out the garbage. Now, he might have done it like a 'tard and spilled garbage all over himself and not change his shirt, but he still obeyed directions.

BTW, I wonder if Chris thought of his boss at Wendy's as a "manajerk," or if that's just a term he applies to managers who deal with him as a customer/loiterer.

And yet, he got himself kicked out of English and then banned from college by being confrontational.

I think that the length of time that he spent at Wendy's might have just about been his limit.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

I actually think his refusal to work is not so much classical sloth (as in "he he I'm not gonna work cuz having holidays all the time is far more pleasant"), but rather the mindset of a little kid extended into adutlhood. Six-year-olds don't have jobs, they don't go to work, life mainly consists of playing, going to school, doing homework, more play, some cartoons on TV, children's books etc. This was how Chris lived from the start of elementary school up to and through college... then, bam, the "school+homework" part went away! Which left him with cartoons and playtime (drawing Sonichu, playing vidya etc.). And it has been cartoons and playtime for him ever since. He doesn't think about getting employment for the same reason little children don't think about this - it's just not part of his universe. He plays all day through, mommy provides for everything else, and each day is like the previous one, time doesn't advance for him. Deep down he probably feels that he's missing out on something, that he's too old for this lifestyle, that something should change... but changing would require effort, and effort is stressful. So...

 

[Datiko]

I don't think Chris's lack of work is something unique; His generation are called the boomerang generation for a reason. Why go back out into the harsh cold world when you have the relatively comfortable lifestyle that mommy and daddy worked their whole lives for? I tried to offer my friend who is in a similar situation (just not as weird as chris) a job for 100k per annum and he refused. The reason being that the commute was over 30 minutes and he would have to move out of his house. Even people who work show no concept of economy. I used to employ a pretty smart guy for a decent salary. He made as much as a uni graduate with a few years despite no tertiary education because he was good. When his office closed we offered him a decent package to move across the country complete with a COLA. He turned it down unless we added ~50k since he would have to buy his own food, pay his own petrol, and rent.

Chris's life is the same concept just magnified by a lunatic mother and buoyed by his monthly tugboat. He is capable of working but he will never reach a level where he can have a nice house to himself and lots of free time to play.

 

[Holdek]

And yet, he got himself kicked out of English and then banned from college by being confrontational.

Who ever said Chris is never confrontational? The difference is that with manajerks and college professors, he's the customer. He hasn't agreed to be bossed around by them.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

I had a drug dealer who was a sperg who was no where as bad as Chris, but he was the worst drug dealer ever. He once went 6 months without leaving his apartment becuse he was so god damn lazy. One day he decided to check himself into a mental health facility and told the doctors he wanted to kill a bunch of people because he knew after spending a couple weeks in the loony bin would result in a monthly tugboat and a handful of downers he could peddle every month for extra $$$. He lives with his parents after his girlfriend walked in on him jacking off to pictures of her sister and kicked him out. People like this are never going to seek out a job because they know that, barring a government shutdown, nothing's going to stop that tugboat from coming into harbor every month. Same with my friend who collects partial disability for having a nut removed while in the army.

 

[Chikinballs]

Chris could get a menial job as long as he didn't submit his resume.

Jesus h dickbutt. That might be the dumbest fucking resume i have ever read. Its not qualifiable as merely bad. That would be a case of a shit work history or maybe poor format or whatever....no, the shit he is saying is just dumb. Trolls? Pokemon? ELBOW GREASED STRENGTH AS RELATES TO PLAYING CARDS?!

Hey, they might even have the anti homo cure that OPL has been looking for. Just imagine, OPL being a test rat for UVA pharmaceuticals.... Fucking go ahead Chris, we need you to take four of these 60 mg Oxycodone pills, two of these 4mg Xanax, a 10mg Adderall, and one Viagra. Let us know how you feel in a hour, and if you're up to it, well buddy, you can go over there and eat the decorative soap. But hey, you never know, OPL could end up getting a job swallowing some heavy ass pills, end up squirreling them away, and selling them to kids on his street. OPL, the next drug kingpin. "I AM THE ONE WHO FARTS."

I WANT THAT FUCKING JOB!!!

I wouldn't put it past him, he did dress up in borderline full Tomgirl garb for his court appearance.

Orly? I have read the accounts of the two agents who tracked him down at court, dont recall a fashion piece. Dafuk did he wear?

 

[normankrasner]

I worked at TRU for 9 months. He couldn't handle the bullshit. The Corporate crap you need to do is stupidly complicated. Sell batteries. Sell worthless warranties on everything. Pimp the credit cards. Stock, interact with children. All these are things that would cause Chris to lose his shit and his job in short order. They probably wouldn't hire him anyway save for seasonal work. We had some real fuckups in the seasonal positions. Chris level, even. They rarely lasted more than a week or two.

How many people besides Chris have they issued a TRU credit card to?

Would any blood or sperm bank accept Chris as a donor?

Has Chris even looked into those survey sites that pay in cash or gift cards (not huge amounts)?

 

[CatParty]

Would any blood or sperm bank accept Chris as a donor?

why don't you make threads for your insightful questions?