The Schizo Conspiracy Thread - The conspiracies that will get you laughed out of your friend groups and subreddits

[NoBueno]

Let's start simple.

 

[C. G. B. Spender]

One of the best ways to make your friends disappear is starting your new life as a sovereign citizen, get the good ol' whiteboard out and explain to your family how government owes you lots of money and how to get it. Explain the confederate articles and maritime laws, because we are travelers goddamn it and pigs can straight up fuck off!

 

[NoBueno]

One of the best ways to make your friends disappear is starting your new life as a sovereign citizen, get the good ol' whiteboard out and explain to your family how government owes you lots of money and how to get it. Explain the confederate articles and maritime laws, because we are travelers goddamn it and pigs can straight up fuck off!

Your piece of paper is backed up by almost nothing, their piece of paper is backed up by Police, FBI, CIA, Army etc... that's all that matters in reality. Power. Force.

 

[C. G. B. Spender]

Your piece of paper is backed up by almost nothing, their piece of paper is backed up by Police, FBI, CIA, Army etc... that's all that matters in reality. Power. Force.

My piece of paper is backed by one man army with gigantic balls and huge guns. My desert shack is covered with aluminium foil and signal jamming devices. I can see the glowies in the dark.

 

[Mike Matei's Penis]

Space is fake prove me wrong.

 

[C. G. B. Spender]

If you really want to get normies fired up just tell them that crack cocaine was a scheme by the CIA to dumb down and genocide black people by their own hand, key piece of that operation was making rap/hip hop a huge thing where killing your brothas and destroying your own community is glorified because it gangsta shit nigga. That way they reconstructed the black communities in such a way that men became retarded borderline homosexuals who are scared to get punched so they shoot instead and women became dumbass sluts because gotta shake that money maker. There's also the fact that single moms usually get more money staying single than getting married so keeping up the traditional family unit became nearly impossible. More fatherless kids = more money for hood chickens.

 

[FailurePersonifiedV2]

I suspect that the whole alien thing probably was real; where the gov just faked documents about aliens and left them around as a honey pot of sorts.

 

[dinaricsupersoldier]

The jews managed to gain political power through the enlightenment, as a result, every country that betrayed the authority of the king has fallen to judeomasonic control - in europe, this was completed after the defeat of the Habsburgs. A return to integralist monarchy through fascism is required

 

[Paranoia Machine]

We are all dolls on a cosmic diorama. Our stories play out infinitely. As long as you are capable of existing now, it means you can exist again. And by extension of that, you have existed before.
You have existed before in various lives, in various worlds, playing various roles. There is no reincarnation into an animal, plant, or angel. You are an eternal vessel that the world reconstructs to experience a new cycle.

Maybe in the next cycle you're just like this. But maybe you are born into a world where you are royalty? What if you are born into a world where you are shaped into a warlord? At the end, all the stories and personalities are meaningless as your body is rematerialized in the physical plane over and over by the sheer force of will of a creature/entity/being/phenomena that is harvesting our constantly-revitalizing "souls"- each version of ourselves' free will and sentience is grown with experience in life and reaped in death.

What if the human "soul" is part of a metaphorical perpetual motion machine, and our souls are both the paradoxical fuel and waste of the cycle of Death&Rebirth that allows the machine to continue in perpetuity?

 

[ParasiteSteve]

I have a better title for this thread.

"TikTok conspiracy theories, and other assorted bitesized showbiz gossip. For the (wo)man with no describable personality, pretend to be a schitzo and do your part in destroying anything outside of the narrative!"

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

If the sun is the source of all life then why isn’t there life on the sun?

 

[Meriasek]

If the sun is the source of all life then why isn’t there life on the sun?

Because the surface ain't solid, silly.

 

[Levi]

Aliens have already developed technology that allows them to teleport a proxy-avatar within our world that has the ability of molecular scale collision, gravity, and psychics all the while being unfazed by our visited world and objects.

 

[NoBueno]

My piece of paper is backed by one man army with gigantic balls and huge guns. My desert shack is covered with aluminium foil and signal jamming devices. I can see the glowies in the dark.

Well tell that to Waco, or Ruby Ridge, or John McAfee, or etc etc

 

[Althalus]

My schizo theory in 5 parts:

1) Ancestral blood memory is real, it's just an extension of epigenetics.

2) Society (at least in "white" countries) was more technologically advanced in the 1600s/1700s/1800s than is generally acknowledged. With airships, electricity, and steam tech all being commonplace. This sort of ties into the "tartaria" stuff but that's a whole other rabbit hole.

3) The "steampunk" genre being so popular in the 2000s/2010s is a result of ancestral blood memory remembering this era.

4) Most steampunk fans were not only white, but specifically whites from the millennial/early zoomer generations, who as a group sought to challenge the existing cultural paradigms. In creating a "fictional" and "alternate" world history via steampunk, they accidentally tapped into their own collective ancestral memory for inspiration.

5) Steampunk subculture was deliberately sidelined and steampunk themes were marginalized in media once the elites caught on to this, to prevent an awakening in the collective unconscious.

 

[NoBueno]

I've talked to people who don't know about the yachting industry, or think it's a schizo conspiracy theory, despite the court documents and broker interviews

 

[NoBueno]

Space is fake prove me wrong.

What, you don't believe this SpaceX rescue landing video?

 

[donksmanSupreme42]

stargate SG-1 is based on real events

except the 'gate was somewhere in the middle east, and the goa'uld actuslly pretended to be the mesopotamian annunaki

the reason why the US constantly messes with the sandbox is not to fight brown people, it's to fight evil body-snatching aliens who larp as mesopotamian gods (in the show theyre egyptian gods, but irl they are the annunaki)

the avg guy in the show's universe doesnt know at all about the massive alien war that humanity got into, u literally cannot tell the difference, i mean, they have basically the exact same show in the show (except it's called wormhole X-treme)

also it was filmed in cheyenne mountain, these werent props or CGI, they got footage of the actual gate, US snatched it from iraq during the first gulf war (also saddam had a goa'uld symbiote inside his body)


9/11 was an orbital bombardment, cuz jet fuel, steel beams n shit, the US detected the attack in advance using the hubble space telescope, so they crashed a plane at the exact same time it was , then they used afghanistan as a cover for retaliating against whatever system lord fired on them

all of the US's combat veterans from the 21st century are actually paid actors, no actual troops were sent to the sandbox

 

[Unarmed Gunman]

My schizo conspiracy theory is that Seth Rich was just shot and killed for no reason whatsoever.

 

[NoBueno]

Just like the Internet and DARPA. Bitcoin was developed by Military intelligence.

The plan the whole time was to shift the financial system over

There will need to be some event to push everyone into the new system though. The WEF has made a suggestion.