- Joined
- Jan 27, 2014
The Worst movie ever made
- Thread starter Judge Holden
- Start date
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2014
Mac and Me. Bad ripoff of E.T. with some of the most blatant product placement in film history. The plot is something like NASA lands a probe on other planet or moon or whatever. Surprise, there are aliens. Of course these aliens are complete retards. The two or so minutes we see of their planet shows a dusty shithole. The "Mysterious Alien Creatures" spend their days wandering around the wasteland making stupid bellowing noises and sucking clear fluid out of the ground (random youtube commenter: "They're reenacting how this movie got funded").
The the NASA probe lands on their shithole planet and sucks them up with a vacuum cleaner. Not making this up, the aliens get sucked into a probe smaller than themselves through the magic of shitty CGI. And have I mentioned that these aliens are fucking ugly? You know those "sea-monkey" ads that had the anthropomorphic brine shrimp on them? Yeah, they're like that only fifteen generations inbred. I mean, ET was ugly, but he was also kind of cute. Not these guys. They just look wrong. They're rubbery, stupid and creepy looking, and just goddamn creepy. Oh, and they can stretch out their hands into things that look like demon claws made of rubber. It's supposed to be funny, but just looks fucking creepy. So, probe takes off, leaving us to wonder if MACs people are all retards or if the probe just landed in the alien equvilant of Ruckersville. So, aliens magically survive the months, if not years long trip back to Earth, and the escape from the Evil Big Bad Government Scientists and run off into the California desert. Except for Baby Tater, who causes a multicar pileup which cost thousands in repair and medical bills. So, he gets into a car with a single mom, an older brother, and a young kid (ripoff? No way! THIS kid is in A WHEELCHAIR), who all fail to notice the monstrous walking aborted space-fetus getting in with them. So, our family of nitwits are moving to Cali, they're moving in, boring padding, then the kid sees the alien stalker and thinks something's up. This is followed by a scene where the kid rolls down the giant cliff in their backyard and a dummy gets thrown 20 feet into a river. So, more stupid hi jinks happen, and them they finally meet the barely sentient turd. Of course, The Evil Big Bad Government is looking for MAC because... I don't know. It's never explained in the film why The Evil Big Bad Government is looking for MAC. At one point Neighbor's Older Sister says something along the lines of "What if he's dangerous? What if he has a disease?". This incredibly valid point is countered with "He doesn't have a disease". Hell, for all we know The Evil Big Bad Government is trying to help the unholy little bastard, or at least limit the collateral damage caused. You'd think NASA would be more capable of handling an alien than random idiot kids. So anyway, in order to escape The Evil Big Bad Government the kids put MAC in a teddy bear suit and take him to the neighbor's birthday party at McDonalds. I swear this happens. And there's a random out of nowhere dancing scene at a McDonalds. With hideous space monster. In a bear suit. And people apparently believe that the thing dancing on the McDonalds counter is just a toy. Then government bad guys show up, a wheelchair based chase scene through a Sears ensues, and they head out into the desert to look for MAC's family. This leads them to an old mine, which in a blatant violation of movie logic, they enter. Oh noes, the family of living sex dolls is dead. Until they get brought back to life with Coca-Cola. Yes, they get brought back to life with Coca-Cola. So, after apparently learning that Coke is liquid Jesus, they all decide to go to a supermarket to get more. Unhappy to sit in the car, our family of Space Rednecks breaks out and wanders into a supermarket. This is one of the most upsetting and horrific scenes in the movie. So, The Beverly Hellbillies wander into the store, probably making People Of Walmart. Then the manager apparently mistakes them for the local shirtless inbreds and demands they leave. Then a rent-a-cop draws a gun. While Papa Tater exercises his second amendment rights, all the other rednecks in the store get the hell out and the cops arrive. The aliens stumble drunkenly out of the store and Sheriff Cleatus opens fires, apparently hitting the Nitroglycerin Depot because THE WHOLE FUCKING SUPERMARKET EXPLODES!!!! Only good thing in the movie. But oh noes, wheelchair kid got caught in the crossfire and died. You all know what's coming. The Cast of Space Hee-Haw wanders out of the inferno and brings wheelchair kid back to life with the power vested in them by our savior, Coke-A-Cola. And the aliens become US Citizens. And dress up like some horrific parody of a 50s family. And drive a pink convertible. And then Space Tater Jr blows a crappily animated bubblegum bubble with "we'll be back" written on it. Thank god they weren't.
So, terrible film, had a few funny "What the Fuck Am I Looking At?" moments, and is a better ET ripoff than Nukie. But anything's better than Nukie.
The the NASA probe lands on their shithole planet and sucks them up with a vacuum cleaner. Not making this up, the aliens get sucked into a probe smaller than themselves through the magic of shitty CGI. And have I mentioned that these aliens are fucking ugly? You know those "sea-monkey" ads that had the anthropomorphic brine shrimp on them? Yeah, they're like that only fifteen generations inbred. I mean, ET was ugly, but he was also kind of cute. Not these guys. They just look wrong. They're rubbery, stupid and creepy looking, and just goddamn creepy. Oh, and they can stretch out their hands into things that look like demon claws made of rubber. It's supposed to be funny, but just looks fucking creepy. So, probe takes off, leaving us to wonder if MACs people are all retards or if the probe just landed in the alien equvilant of Ruckersville. So, aliens magically survive the months, if not years long trip back to Earth, and the escape from the Evil Big Bad Government Scientists and run off into the California desert. Except for Baby Tater, who causes a multicar pileup which cost thousands in repair and medical bills. So, he gets into a car with a single mom, an older brother, and a young kid (ripoff? No way! THIS kid is in A WHEELCHAIR), who all fail to notice the monstrous walking aborted space-fetus getting in with them. So, our family of nitwits are moving to Cali, they're moving in, boring padding, then the kid sees the alien stalker and thinks something's up. This is followed by a scene where the kid rolls down the giant cliff in their backyard and a dummy gets thrown 20 feet into a river. So, more stupid hi jinks happen, and them they finally meet the barely sentient turd. Of course, The Evil Big Bad Government is looking for MAC because... I don't know. It's never explained in the film why The Evil Big Bad Government is looking for MAC. At one point Neighbor's Older Sister says something along the lines of "What if he's dangerous? What if he has a disease?". This incredibly valid point is countered with "He doesn't have a disease". Hell, for all we know The Evil Big Bad Government is trying to help the unholy little bastard, or at least limit the collateral damage caused. You'd think NASA would be more capable of handling an alien than random idiot kids. So anyway, in order to escape The Evil Big Bad Government the kids put MAC in a teddy bear suit and take him to the neighbor's birthday party at McDonalds. I swear this happens. And there's a random out of nowhere dancing scene at a McDonalds. With hideous space monster. In a bear suit. And people apparently believe that the thing dancing on the McDonalds counter is just a toy. Then government bad guys show up, a wheelchair based chase scene through a Sears ensues, and they head out into the desert to look for MAC's family. This leads them to an old mine, which in a blatant violation of movie logic, they enter. Oh noes, the family of living sex dolls is dead. Until they get brought back to life with Coca-Cola. Yes, they get brought back to life with Coca-Cola. So, after apparently learning that Coke is liquid Jesus, they all decide to go to a supermarket to get more. Unhappy to sit in the car, our family of Space Rednecks breaks out and wanders into a supermarket. This is one of the most upsetting and horrific scenes in the movie. So, The Beverly Hellbillies wander into the store, probably making People Of Walmart. Then the manager apparently mistakes them for the local shirtless inbreds and demands they leave. Then a rent-a-cop draws a gun. While Papa Tater exercises his second amendment rights, all the other rednecks in the store get the hell out and the cops arrive. The aliens stumble drunkenly out of the store and Sheriff Cleatus opens fires, apparently hitting the Nitroglycerin Depot because THE WHOLE FUCKING SUPERMARKET EXPLODES!!!! Only good thing in the movie. But oh noes, wheelchair kid got caught in the crossfire and died. You all know what's coming. The Cast of Space Hee-Haw wanders out of the inferno and brings wheelchair kid back to life with the power vested in them by our savior, Coke-A-Cola. And the aliens become US Citizens. And dress up like some horrific parody of a 50s family. And drive a pink convertible. And then Space Tater Jr blows a crappily animated bubblegum bubble with "we'll be back" written on it. Thank god they weren't.
So, terrible film, had a few funny "What the Fuck Am I Looking At?" moments, and is a better ET ripoff than Nukie. But anything's better than Nukie.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
yeah but it gave us this:
http://thechive.com/2013/12/13/paul-rudd-shows-the-same-clip-every-time-he-goes-on-conan-video/
http://thechive.com/2013/12/13/paul-rudd-shows-the-same-clip-every-time-he-goes-on-conan-video/
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2014
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2014
Ok, two good things came from this movie. That clip and exploding supermarket.
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2013
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Earthquake! from the 1970s.
-there's a part in the earthquake scene where a "brick" bounces off a woman's head.
-an elevator death scene during the earthquake where cartoony blood splashes
-some scenes where disembodied voices randomly speak
-poor casting
-there's this long ass scene during the earthquake where a plane is trying to land. In the plane is this couple that the movie profiles for no good reason. The wife pouts the whole time. .
-I think there's a scene where people try to climb out of an office building by tying pantyhose together in a rope?
I wish rifftrax would make fun of it.
---
There's a scene in the similar towering inferno movie that scares me and yet is so stupid. Where the helocopter picks up the elevator that is built on the outside of the building. Of course a lady falls off. It's so unbelievable. Oh and OJ is a security guard that rescues a cat.
-there's a part in the earthquake scene where a "brick" bounces off a woman's head.
-an elevator death scene during the earthquake where cartoony blood splashes
-some scenes where disembodied voices randomly speak
-poor casting
-there's this long ass scene during the earthquake where a plane is trying to land. In the plane is this couple that the movie profiles for no good reason. The wife pouts the whole time. .
-I think there's a scene where people try to climb out of an office building by tying pantyhose together in a rope?
I wish rifftrax would make fun of it.
---
There's a scene in the similar towering inferno movie that scares me and yet is so stupid. Where the helocopter picks up the elevator that is built on the outside of the building. Of course a lady falls off. It's so unbelievable. Oh and OJ is a security guard that rescues a cat.
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- Joined
- Sep 2, 2013
Birdemic.
That's all I have to say, the title alone sounds bad, yet if you watch it, not only is it enviromentally preachy, but it sucks ass. It's worse than The Room.
That's all I have to say, the title alone sounds bad, yet if you watch it, not only is it enviromentally preachy, but it sucks ass. It's worse than The Room.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2013
aye but its also fucking hilarious to sit through and even without the rifftrax is a laugh riot.
To qualify in the absolute bottom tier, there cant even be a "so bad its good/funny" aspect, and sitting through a bottom tier movie must be a genuine ordeal.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
The Cable Guy. Everything is so fucking over the top---looking at you pointless Medieval Times dinner scene.
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2013
I wouldn't say it was the worst movie ever made.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
NegaCWC
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2013
Nobody mentioned Ben and Arthur? Terrible acting, terrible directing, terrible cinematography, terrible soundtrack and much of it was achieved single handedly by the film's auter Sam Maovich. Seriously, he assumed almost every behind-the-camera role. The film is supposed to have a pro-marriage equality message, but LGBT rights supporters are no more likely to like this film than conservatives. You can see the whole thing on YouTube for yourselves. And yes, this was both released to at least one theatre and on DVD.
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2013
Nobody mentioned Ben and Arthur because the title of this thread isn't "Greatest Movie Ever Made."
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2013
- Joined
- May 5, 2014
The worst movie I've ever seen is the Star Wars Holiday Special. Full stop. I went into it hoping it would have some kind of so-good-its-bad quality to it but that is not the case at all. I speak no hyperbole when I say that it is almost unwatchable in how surreal and sheerly awful it is.
The most abysmal movie I've recently seen would have to be America: The World Without Her. I honestly don't know how I got roped into watching it. For those who don't know what that is, its basically some batshit conspiracy theorist rambling on about... something (I'm a bit uncertain as to what message he's trying to convey throughout) for two hours. What I most clearly remember is that the conspiracy theorist compares Saul Alinsky to Lucifer at one point. That's probably one of the tamer moments in the film too.
Don't watch it. It's just political soap boxing for two excruciatingly boring hours.
The most abysmal movie I've recently seen would have to be America: The World Without Her. I honestly don't know how I got roped into watching it. For those who don't know what that is, its basically some batshit conspiracy theorist rambling on about... something (I'm a bit uncertain as to what message he's trying to convey throughout) for two hours. What I most clearly remember is that the conspiracy theorist compares Saul Alinsky to Lucifer at one point. That's probably one of the tamer moments in the film too.
Don't watch it. It's just political soap boxing for two excruciatingly boring hours.
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The Doctor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2013
I attempted to sit down and watch a movie called "Nukie". It's pretty much an even worse E.T. ripoff then Mac and Me. I'd heard bad things about it but thought it was people just over reacting. So I sat down and started to watch.
At the 12 minute mark I gave up and wanted to watch Mac and Me because at least that movie had a kid in a wheelchair falling off a cliff.
At the 12 minute mark I gave up and wanted to watch Mac and Me because at least that movie had a kid in a wheelchair falling off a cliff.
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2014
Doom (2005) was pretty awful, but I strongly suspect it was more like Street Fighter (1994), where no one was taking it seriously.
Holy crap, what a cast. Raul Julia (in his last role!), Ming Na Wen, Jean-Claude Van Damme, even Adrian Cronauer! Too bad it was doomed to fail, being based on a game with very little plot.
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2013
I feel for you, man! I don't think any other movie has managed to bore me more than that thing.
The absolute worst I've ever seen must be this, though: