Ash Gassem
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2018
Adam Sandler's "Eight Crazy Nights" is the worst movie ever made, and by a substantial margin.
The Worst movie ever made
- Thread starter Judge Holden
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2018
Here's the director btw, his name is Nigel Tomm
He also writes horrible books like (and I kid you not) "Scarlett Johansson Asked Artie Lange: "Are You Too Fat To Fish Some Natalie Portman?" He Answered: I Must Have Sex With Adriana Lima, Robin Quivers & Eva Longoria Parker As They're My Life Calendar" and "The Blah Story", which is literally just the word Blah inbetween sandwiched between other words, and its 11.3 million words long. No that's not a typo.
His picture alone makes me want to beat the shit out of him
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Sir Wesley Tailpipe
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2019
Howard the Duck was the best thing Lucas made after 1982.
- Joined
- May 31, 2019
Someone needs to tell this guy that Dadaism died after the First World War and pretty much has no purpose anymore, since people are aware that war is bad and that nonconformism exists. Also, that try-hard too long book title sounds like he's trying to channel Henry Darger. Only Darger had actual talent and made his work pretty much only for himself - it was only when he was dying in the hospital that others discovered his work while cleaning his room. Bowtie Faggot meanwhile wants everyone to know that he's sooooo quirky and avant garde! Also he looks like a fusion of Bill Nye and Rebecca Sugar.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
Geez, sucks to hear, i was looking forward to a Howard the Duck Holiday Special. I have a old Star Wars comic somewhere where they had an article about the movie (as it was brand new for the time) and even the shilled writers for the comic couldn't come up with anything positive so it was generally "Eeeeh, it aint as good as Star Wars or Willow... Uuummm....".
- Joined
- May 23, 2020
One of the worst books ever written adapted into one of the worst movies ever filmed.
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2019
This question can be so hard to answer due to the conflict between worst ever production values vs worst personal EXPERIENCE whilst watching the movie.
I'm going to dive into the MST3K vault myself and offer up :
The Castle of Fu Manchu.
Another one that the MST3K crew flat out admitted was a shitty episode of the show because they couldn't find anything at all to say about it and ran out of time to shoot footage for something else.
Now Monster a Go Go was unanimously considered by them as the worst movie they had done but I disagree. At least Go Go you can laugh at the sheer incompetence while it's also trying to be deep and experimental. Like that part where an actor has to make a phone ringing noise with his mouth or any of the awkward exterior shots with the actors having no direction over what to do. Honestly my belief is that the director saw the original The Thing or read Who goes there? and wanted to make a more cerebral monster flick but with z-grade talent and budget. Its a mess of a movie but you can at least be amused by how pretentious it's being.
The Castle of Fu Manchu however? I have watched that episode I believe 3 times, only once front to back, and I still cannot remember what the plot was or what Fu's plan was. All I remember is that he has some kind of plot, he is indeed in a castle, British/US alphabet agencies are trying to stop him that's who the protagonists are and there is some kind of scene on a boat.
That is fucking all I can recall no matter how hard I try.
In terms of sheer, boring, brain numbing crap that dares call itself a movie, mine is the Castle of Fu Manchu.
I'm going to dive into the MST3K vault myself and offer up :
The Castle of Fu Manchu.
Another one that the MST3K crew flat out admitted was a shitty episode of the show because they couldn't find anything at all to say about it and ran out of time to shoot footage for something else.
Now Monster a Go Go was unanimously considered by them as the worst movie they had done but I disagree. At least Go Go you can laugh at the sheer incompetence while it's also trying to be deep and experimental. Like that part where an actor has to make a phone ringing noise with his mouth or any of the awkward exterior shots with the actors having no direction over what to do. Honestly my belief is that the director saw the original The Thing or read Who goes there? and wanted to make a more cerebral monster flick but with z-grade talent and budget. Its a mess of a movie but you can at least be amused by how pretentious it's being.
The Castle of Fu Manchu however? I have watched that episode I believe 3 times, only once front to back, and I still cannot remember what the plot was or what Fu's plan was. All I remember is that he has some kind of plot, he is indeed in a castle, British/US alphabet agencies are trying to stop him that's who the protagonists are and there is some kind of scene on a boat.
That is fucking all I can recall no matter how hard I try.
In terms of sheer, boring, brain numbing crap that dares call itself a movie, mine is the Castle of Fu Manchu.
To Boldly Flee
Swing Kids (probably my most hated)
Capitalism: A love story
The Dark Knight Rises
I could probably think up more but these are the ones where I felt personally the most insulted while watching
Swing Kids (probably my most hated)
Capitalism: A love story
The Dark Knight Rises
I could probably think up more but these are the ones where I felt personally the most insulted while watching
- Joined
- May 31, 2019
The Castle of Fu Manchu was the last dying fart of the Hammer Fu Manchu movie series. It's not that any of the other movies in the series were exceptional, but this one was clearly made by people that didn't give a shit. They even yoinked the climax of the previous film in the series and put it at the beginning of this one, along with some footage stolen from a black and white Titanic movie. Fu's plan in Castle was basically "generic Bond villain bad guy plan #251: turn the oceans of the world into ice." Which, when you think about it, is the stupidest plan ever conceived, because if Fu went ahead and did it, the world would be so fucked that he and his criminal empire would die along with the rest of humanity. There's a secondary subplot about Fu getting help from a crime boss in Istanbul, but little comes of it, apart from Fu betraying them after they've helped him capture the titular castle. (In every one of the Fu Manchu movies, Fu immediately betrays ALL of his allies right after they've helped him. Which makes one wonder how he's able to get anyone to work with him, as you'd think word would get out on the criminal grapevine that that Fu fella is a bad guy to work for.)
The production of the film was extremely lazy as well. Apart from using footage of a previous film, the lighting on the set would cut in and out, scenes were blocked so that important events happened behind light fixtures, and the color tinting was all over the place. The movie was supposedly set during the 1920's, but you'd never know that since everyone looks and dresses like they're from the 1960's. They also have a dam-breaking scene which swaps in footage from a much better movie (the dam miniature is too good to have been a part of this one,) but none of the swapped footage matches the footage of the current movie - you can tell where they pasted it in.
The only good thing about this movie is a character played by Rosalba Neri - a female gangster from the Istanbul crime syndicate, who looks like she'll join up with the heroes and help them fight their way out, but no, that would be too awesome for this movie. The writers choose to stick her in a cell for most of the film, then have her pointlessly sacrifice herself at the end as she decides to go back into the castle she's just escaped from to rescue her boss (whose location she has no clue of) and drowns in a series of rapidly filling tunnels even though she could just turn right around and leave the way she came. Christopher Lee plays the title character of Fu Manchu, and I wish I could say that he was a highlight, but he pretty much does literally nothing throughout the movie. You have an actor known for his great voice and stage presence, and all he does is smile wryly and condemn people to death with the bored tone of voice that most people use for asking for extra napkins at a restaurant. If you want to see a better, more animated, Fu Manchu, try watching Boris Karloff's take on the character in the exploitation movie, The Mask of Fu Manchu. It's borderline offensive Yellow Peril pulp, but at least Karloff looks like he's having fun in the role.
Sir Wesley Tailpipe
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2019
Santa’s Summer Home.
It’s on Prime and Tubi in Rifftrax form.
It is amazingly bad on all levels, takes place in the house used for all of David DeCoteau’s gay space alien movies and features an unrecognizable Cynthia Rothrock as Mrs Santa with gigantic fake tits.
It’s on Prime and Tubi in Rifftrax form.
It is amazingly bad on all levels, takes place in the house used for all of David DeCoteau’s gay space alien movies and features an unrecognizable Cynthia Rothrock as Mrs Santa with gigantic fake tits.
MysticMisty
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2013
I love when shit's so bad the studio has a hard time getting people to say positive things about it. Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure was so bad the studio pushed it by filming kids talking about how they liked it:
Having been made to sit through it once I can safely say it's one of the worst things I've ever seen. I thought that at the time, and I was 7 or 8 to boot. The movie is so over bloated with songs that barely anything happens, and almost none of the 20 or so songs are good (the ones that aren't outright bad never rise above just okay). No, I'm not exaggerating; there's a new song every few minutes. Sometimes there are only seconds inbetween. The writers took the "A Musical Adventure" subtitle very literally. Director Richard Williams saw that the absurd amount of songs would be a fatal flaw and urged the studio to allow a few to be cut and replaced with normal dialog and action. They refused.
There's other things wrong with the movie besides 20 bad songs. Once Raggedy Ann and Andy finally set off (and after more songs...) they fall into the taffy pit (but not before they sing a slow duet with incestual overtones [and that's one of the better songs in this shit show]). The taffy pit also happens to be a monster...who constantly self-cannibalizes himself. While morphing into bizarre shapes and making farting and burping sounds as he does so. Later, they meet a miniature king that has random body parts that inflate with laughter. If you think this is sounding a bit like an awakening for future fetishists, strap in, because the climax features the mini-king bringing in a literally tickle monster to tickle everyone so he can inflate permanently. Yeah.
So how does it end? The inflated king fucking pops, there's a swirl of color, and then it cuts to the toys scattered around a puddle outside (in live action) where their owner, a little girl, finds them and brings them back inside to her room. And that's it. They couldn't think of any way to really end it properly, so it just suddenly stops.
And that's why we have a TV spot with a kid talking about the taffy pit scene while his mom visibly rolls her eyes in the background.
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2013
While we're talking about Castle of Fu-Manchu, the director of the movie is one Jess Franco. He made over 200 movies in his life. No that number isn't fudged. IMDB lists his output at 206 films. These weren't shorts either. The amazing thing is that he made most of his films within the 70s and 80s. Real film, real locations. There were points in his life were he was making 10-15 films a year. Only early Hollywood directors matched that output. A lot of those films are borderline porn and some actual porn. A lot of his stuff have a surreal quality to them. But he's a very interesting figure. He worked with Orson Wells on a film or two.
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2018
I'll post the worst ones when I think of them, but for now, I'll give you my most hated
InAPPropriate Comedy: Remember that tool Vince Offer of the Shamwow commercials? Turns out he also makes movies. He did one called The Underground Comedy Movie (with Michael Clarke Duncan, Slash, Karen Black, Joey Buttafuoco) which was horrible, but his next movie, the aforementioned InAPPropriate Comedy, is even worse. Entire segments are taken straight from UCM but done with different actors. For example, Flirty Harry here was originally done by Offer himself in UCM. Now Adrien Brody is doing it.
Keep in mind this is just a brief clip, the segment is spread out across the film and goes on for a total of 15 minutes.
Another stolen segment is the Porno Review with Rob Schneider and Michelle Rodriguez doing a sorta Siskel and Ebert parody while a guy behind them jerks off to the porn. This segment was also in UCM but with Offer and some other fuckhead playing the reviewers.
Then we have Blackass, which is supposed Jackass but with black people, but feels more like a series of World Star Hip Hop videos
The next and last segment I'm going to talk about is The Amazing Racist with Ari Shaffir (the same one that was on the news regarding the death of Kobe) where he tries to do this hidden camera prank show and tries to do racist things, like getting jews to apologize for killing Jesus, sending black people back to Africa, teaching asians how to drive;
Keep in mind I'm all for racist humor, when done right its fucking hilarious.
But the ones in The Amazing Racist were so forced and you can tell these were obviously actors and not actual people being pranked.
This shit takes up half the fucking movie, and it makes Movie 43 look great in comparison
InAPPropriate Comedy: Remember that tool Vince Offer of the Shamwow commercials? Turns out he also makes movies. He did one called The Underground Comedy Movie (with Michael Clarke Duncan, Slash, Karen Black, Joey Buttafuoco) which was horrible, but his next movie, the aforementioned InAPPropriate Comedy, is even worse. Entire segments are taken straight from UCM but done with different actors. For example, Flirty Harry here was originally done by Offer himself in UCM. Now Adrien Brody is doing it.
Keep in mind this is just a brief clip, the segment is spread out across the film and goes on for a total of 15 minutes.
Another stolen segment is the Porno Review with Rob Schneider and Michelle Rodriguez doing a sorta Siskel and Ebert parody while a guy behind them jerks off to the porn. This segment was also in UCM but with Offer and some other fuckhead playing the reviewers.
Then we have Blackass, which is supposed Jackass but with black people, but feels more like a series of World Star Hip Hop videos
The next and last segment I'm going to talk about is The Amazing Racist with Ari Shaffir (the same one that was on the news regarding the death of Kobe) where he tries to do this hidden camera prank show and tries to do racist things, like getting jews to apologize for killing Jesus, sending black people back to Africa, teaching asians how to drive;
Keep in mind I'm all for racist humor, when done right its fucking hilarious.
But the ones in The Amazing Racist were so forced and you can tell these were obviously actors and not actual people being pranked.
This shit takes up half the fucking movie, and it makes Movie 43 look great in comparison
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2019
Ax 'Em, a slasher filmed in the early 90s but released on dvd in the early 2000s by the son of a DC politician featuring a (mostly black) cast of his friends.
Most of the dialog is inaudible, there's a scene near the end where the killer reveals some shocking revelation to the characters and throws them something and you can neither hear a word he says nor tell what he threw.
There's lots of funny scenes like everyone is sitting around a dinner table, they hear someone scream and everyone rushes out to see what's happened save for one guy that keeps sitting at the table, playing a Gameboy.
Most of the dialog is inaudible, there's a scene near the end where the killer reveals some shocking revelation to the characters and throws them something and you can neither hear a word he says nor tell what he threw.
There's lots of funny scenes like everyone is sitting around a dinner table, they hear someone scream and everyone rushes out to see what's happened save for one guy that keeps sitting at the table, playing a Gameboy.
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2017
I think they were trying to jam as many big at the time names in as possible to make it look better. Must have cost a bundle.
Was this the one where the cop goes ballistic over some girl stealing cakes from a ruined diner? I can't remember. But that was a retarded abuse of power since it's a fucking disaster area and those cakes would have just been eaten by rats and roaches. Better they go to hungry people.
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2019
I actually like that movie although it is pretty cheesy (that elevator scene being the worst scene) but there are some cool special effects shots as well.
It's a shame they wasted Willem Dafoe as Ryuk.
That character is supposed to be a psycho.
Wonderful Id
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2020
The worst movie I ever saw in theaters was Drop Dead Fred. It was about a girl who had an imaginary friend who came back into existence when she was an adult and now his constant hijinks are causing constant trouble for her and it was just fucking awful in every scene. The only thing I really remember is that Carrie Fisher played a side character, but I remember that even as a little kid, I knew that film was bad.
Another horrible movie that I regret seeing in theaters is Year One. The only good thing about this movie was David Cross, everything else was just shitty "parody-movie" quality jokes and such. I looked this movie up real fast and it turns out that it was also Harold Ramis's last film before he died.
Another horrible movie that I regret seeing in theaters is Year One. The only good thing about this movie was David Cross, everything else was just shitty "parody-movie" quality jokes and such. I looked this movie up real fast and it turns out that it was also Harold Ramis's last film before he died.
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2015
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2019
I tried to watch Year One on TV once and I was shocked at how utterly terrible it was, it's sad that that was the note Harold Ramis ended on.
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2020
The movies I've hated the most that I've seen in theaters have been Adventureland and It Comes at Night. Adventureland was basically the film version of Greg Mottola's teen angst diary. Couldn't stand how stupid the main character was. Went to see it with a six pack of Red Stripe that my friend sneaked in. We were the only two in the theater and I was throwing empty bottles at the screen. I felt bad about doing that since the poor ushers had to clean that up. It Comes at Night made me loathe these A24 faux-horror movies. Since my local movie theater is by the hood, the whole audience was talking shit about the movie, which was the only upside.
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2017
I'm more concerned by wasted opportunity and the fact that rights belong to Netflix now. And they're going to shit out a sequel.