Things that I, Joshua "Null" Moon, would like to do but cannot

Wyzzerd said:
Motorcycles are pretty cool. They are pretty safe too, the only people who get hurt on them are little bitches who can't handle the power of one.

Motorcycles are power status symbols, they make other people instantly fear and respect you. Nobody fucks with a man and his ride. Have you ever seen someone not look like a badass on one? Hell no!

Plus they are great for advertising. It's real easy to slap some logos on the bike and the jacket of whoever is riding. I bet you could even count it all as a business expense if you're clever about it.

Edit: I almost forgot the obvious. Bitches love bikes. They gotta get up close to the guy while the bike gets them off the whole time. Pretty easy chick magnet.
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I I had my old lady stitch a '1%' patch on my jacket to let all the other bikers know I'm one of the top riders in the sector.
 
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part timer said:
Is Ralph even able to own firearms? I feel like if he had one, he would show it off often.
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No, he's a felon. He owns a crossbow iirc. He can own black powder guns, though. Cylinders exist that let you convert certain black powder revolvers to common regular calibers and they definitely aren't limited to cowboy loads. They'd be perfect for a fat felon too scared to buy a Jennings from his local negro drug dealer.
 
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You will never be a ralphamale. You have no gunt, you have no broken face, you have no bastard child. You are a coward twisted by your gossip forum and kid diddling into a crude mockery of THE GUNT’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your audience is disgusted and ashamed of you, your “forum mods” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.
Paypigs are utterly repulsed by you. Years of content consumption have allowed them to sniff out bad streamers with incredible efficiency. Even MATI episodes that “pass” sound uncanny and unnatural to a paypig. Your nasal and bored tone is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get some viewers, they’ll turn tail and bolt the second you get DMCA'd.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you know the legal actions against your forum creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll not be able to afford DDOS protection, you will try to stay relevant, but will fail and plunge into obscurity. Your followers will forget about you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment.
They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man who opposed the ralphamale is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is internet archives nobody will read, unmistakably irrelevant.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
 
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Josh is such a fucking fake man, you know. That coward moved AWAY from Odessa the other year while being chased by Interpol rather than staying and defending Ukraine like a real alpha male would! I've got the all respect in the world for people who fly out to a warzone and fight back against invaders. Only a true alpha would get in shape, improve his life for the better and then go to war!
 
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ArmouredRobin said:
Josh is such a fucking fake man, you know. That coward moved AWAY from Odessa the other year while being chased by Interpol rather than staying and defending Ukraine like a real alpha male would! I've got the all respect in the world for people who fly out to a warzone and fight back against invaders. Only a true alpha would get in shape, improve his life for the better and then go to war!
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Or, in Ralph's case, flying over to support our boy Putin! Nick Fuentes loves Putin and fighting for him on the front lines like a badass would surely make someone a hero in his eyes.
 
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Null. I am afraid to tag you but I have a suggestion for your pistol twirling objective: Percussion cap revolver replica. Many places treat black powder guns a bit differently from modern firearms, but check local laws.

Pietta sold a lot of Colt 1860 Army replica kit as a novelty item. It should be easy to get spinning, if you look in "the right places".
 
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Stoneheart said:
he can go out into the wilderness and dig out some landmines. a landmine on a stick is the ultimate seldefense weapon.
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its shape means you can also spin it like a plate or on its side like a Basketball Man, in order to look Cool
 
#KillAllPedos said:
@Null you messed up by posting this publicly dude. Just calling it as I see it. You know Ralph reads this board, right? He could probably do your entire bucket list in a week, and he probably would too. And you know he will probably turn it into a big event and use it to fundraise. Just seems like you’re handing him an easy “W” by putting this info out. Can you imagine the insufferable smirk on his fat pig face as he’s skydiving, saying “how you like me now Jawsh? You can’t even afford to skydive!” Makes my blood boil just thinking about it. I fucking hate watching Ralph get victories over us.
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He can’t afford that shit, he’s a broke ass wigger, his wallet is as tiny as his brain and penis
 
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ArmouredRobin said:
Josh is such a fucking fake man, you know. That coward moved AWAY from Odessa the other year while being chased by Interpol rather than staying and defending Ukraine like a real alpha male would! I've got the all respect in the world for people who fly out to a warzone and fight back against invaders. Only a true alpha would get in shape, improve his life for the better and then go to war!
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No no no, everyone knows REAL men ex-patriate and go fight for Russia to stop the global empire. It's just that simple, no nuance required. Josh wishes he could be that cool but instead whines on stream all day about his fwens getting shot.
 
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It's not wrestling, but you can get pretty fucking close to an alligator for $55 at gatorama , whose going to stop you when youre that close if you decide to jump on the scaley homie?
Would hate to see someone beat you to the punch on such a crazy idea though.
 
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A Snek said:
It's not wrestling, but you can get pretty fucking close to an alligator for $55 at gatorama , whose going to stop you when youre that close if you decide to jump on the scaley homie?
Would hate to see someone beat you to the punch on such a crazy idea though.
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Don't fall for another one of Big Aligator's scams. In Florida, all those gators you see sitting in swamps, brooks and rivers are free. You can take as many as you want and nobody can stop you. I know Null wishes he was enough of a Florida Man to wrangle and train his own pet gator.
 
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