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[Autistic Asparagus]

It’s the classic denial of how things actually are and instead making judgments from how someone thinks they ought to be. Women ought to be able to be hookers without risking their lives, sure, but in the real world there are sick fuckers out there no matter how you spin it.

The shows and families also always portray victims of domestic abuse as totally blameless, and I guess in a sense they are because nobody deserves getting beat up (well, I can actually think of a couple of cows that deserve it), but often these women have children that have to witness the abuse, or are abused themselves, and that’s where my sympathy ends. In most cases, there actually IS a way out and if you have kids you make sure they’re safe. But no, can’t say that, that’s victim blaming! Which actually robs these women of all agency, but that’s the accepted narrative anyway. Smdh.

These people act like it’s 1924 and not 2024. Women in abusive relationships have a million fucking resources to use to leave their relationships. And there are also a million signs before a partner actually kills them too.

 

[Dr. Butt]

The shows and families also always portray victims of domestic abuse as totally blameless, and I guess in a sense they are because nobody deserves getting beat up (well, I can actually think of a couple of cows that deserve it), but often these women have children that have to witness the abuse, or are abused themselves, and that’s where my sympathy ends. In most cases, there actually IS a way out and if you have kids you make sure they’re safe. But no, can’t say that, that’s victim blaming! Which actually robs these women of all agency, but that’s the accepted narrative anyway. Smdh.

Even in civilized countries, "moving away from the wifebeater" ends with "he goes to her new house and murders her" annoyingly often. It's an area of law enforcement that really does need radical overhaul (i.e. pussy courts need to stop letting the fuckers run free).

 

[Autistic Asparagus]

Even in civilized countries, "moving away from the wifebeater" ends with "he goes to her new house and murders her" annoyingly often. It's an area of law enforcement that really does need radical overhaul (i.e. pussy courts need to stop letting the fuckers run free).

It’s usually not the courts letting them go though. It’s the woman dropping charges or refusing to testify.

 

[Dr. Butt]

It’s usually not the courts letting them go though. It’s the woman dropping charges or refusing to testify.

And by now the courts should know why victims do this and have some provision for it. I think in Canada, the Crown presses charges for domestic violence so the victim doesnt have to testify or have her name down as the plaintiff/whatever it's called (I anal).

 

[Autistic Asparagus]

And by now the courts should know why victims do this and have some provision for it. I think in Canada, the Crown presses charges for domestic violence so the victim doesnt have to testify or have her name down as the plaintiff/whatever it's called (I anal).

They do this because they still love the guy though not because they are afraid of him.

 

[Dr. Butt]

They do this because they still love the guy though not because they are afraid of him.

I think they did some research on this phenomenon in Sweden or something.

 

[Autistic Asparagus]

I think they did some research on this phenomenon in Sweden or something.

Comparing hostage/kidnapping situations to women who willingly enter and stay in a relationship is retarded.

 

[Zemblan Physics]

They do this because they still love the guy though not because they are afraid of him.

Tbf, there are probably those who go back because they still love him and also those who go back because they’re afraid of him. Humans are complex and do contra-intuitive things because of feels and desires, though, so it’s pretty futile to try and shoehorn all women into the scaredy cat category. I suspect a lot of cluster B women seek out cluster B men for the thrill of it, too, and that never ends well.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

pull back and tell you what kind of virtuous person the victim is

The "don't speak ill of the dead" bullshit is a big part of this. Being dead somehow erases all faults and wrongdoing.

Women ought to be able to be hookers without risking their lives, sure, but in the real world there are sick fuckers out there no matter how you spin it.

The push to destigmatize sex work is a tragedy. You get young girls eagerly awaiting their 18th birthday just to make an OnlyFans account. TikTok's turned into a strip club full of underage kids getting paid to show off their bodies because they see sex work as aspirational. Sex work is so sugarcoated that people ignore the severe negatives of it like the risk of STDs and psychological damage. You get moms on OF ignoring their kids begging them to stop because of the relentless bullying they face. Hell, just the other week, we had a documentary of a woman fucking 100 men in a day for a documentary. Despite the toll it took on her, she plans to fuck 1,000 men in one day next year.

 

[Ctrl + Z]

The podcast should be called “Making Excuses For Terrible People” because the loved ones go out their way to excuse every wrong doing of the missing person. The loved ones will also be in extreme denial that the missing person likely od’d in an alley somewhere and is a John/Jane Doe in a morgue and come up with hilarious conspiracy therories.

I think this is understandable. It's probably very difficult to wrap your head around the fact that your loved one went missing because of, in part, bad decision-making. It can also really be difficult for people to speak critically of the dead. And I imagine it's really painful to admit to yourself that you had been ignoring warning signs for a long time.

Look at the death of Kendrick Johnson. I think his parents want to believe in racist conspiracies because that's a lot easier than accepting that we live in a world where you kids can go to school and just kind of end up dead. It's rare, but it can and does happen, and that's very hard to wrap your head around.

I think the real people to criticize are people outside of the family who entertain these notions, and spread them to a wider audience.

 

[Autistic Asparagus]

I think this is understandable. It's probably very difficult to wrap your head around the fact that your loved one went missing because of, in part, bad decision-making. It can also really be difficult for people to speak critically of the dead. And I imagine it's really painful to admit to yourself that you had been ignoring warning signs for a long time.

Look at the death of Kendrick Johnson. I think his parents want to believe in racist conspiracies because that's a lot easier than accepting that we live in a world where you kids can go to school and just kind of end up dead. It's rare, but it can and does happen, and that's very hard to wrap your head around.

I think the real people to criticize are people outside of the family who entertain these notions, and spread them to a wider audience.

The loved ones tend do it because they feel guilty they weren’t there when the missing person needed them. But there does come a point where you do need accept reality. Some of the cases on the podcast are well over 10 years old and the family still haven’t come to terms with the facts.

But I do agree that the podcasters and speculators are really the ones to blame for giving these people a public forum.

And in the “case” of Kendrick Johnson, Benjamin Crump is to blame for filling the family’s head with ideas that it was a hate crime.

 

[74164978231]

Even in civilized countries, "moving away from the wifebeater" ends with "he goes to her new house and murders her" annoyingly often. It's an area of law enforcement that really does need radical overhaul (i.e. pussy courts need to stop letting the fuckers run free).

The solution is to not get into a relationship with violent people. Wifebeaters dont randomly start beating their gf/wives one day. Vast majority of the time theres a clear escalation of the violence that you could see progress from screaming yelling, throwing objects, destroying things to physical abuse.

As someone who experienced it myself I dont blame anyone other than myself for sticking around as long as I did. I saw the warning signs very early but ignored them and paid the price for doing so.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

As someone who experienced it myself I dont blame anyone other than myself for sticking around as long as I did. I saw the warning signs very early but ignored them and paid the price for doing so.

If you stayed we could have listened to bailey sarian giggle about you being axe murdered while doing her makeup so maybe you should get back together with him

 

[Jimjamflimflam]

It’s usually not the courts letting them go though. It’s the woman dropping charges or refusing to testify.

I feel like this is a more common then expected occurrence in domestic situations where the cops are called but as soon as they arrive to arrest someone (because it's mandatory to arrest in domestic situations ) the couple will team up against the cop.

It's a horrible perspective but theres an element of "You! The victim" are putting yourself in a horrible situation through ignorance, naivety or thinking you can change them when you really need to be getting the fuck out of there in some situations.

 

[74164978231]

If you stayed we could have listened to bailey sarian giggle about you being axe murdered while doing her makeup so maybe you should get back together with him

Him? This was from a woman.

Never get into relationships with women who have BPD. It is not worth it.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Him? This was from a woman.

Never get into relationships with women who have BPD. It is not worth it.

BPD? You mean beautiful princess disorder? Maybe you should be participating in the kiwifarms dating thread to find your next waifu.

 

[F-14 Tomcat]

BPD? You mean beautiful princess disorder? Maybe you should be participating in the kiwifarms dating thread to find your next waifu.

I think putting your dick in a pencil sharpener would yield better results on average than dating a kiwifarmer.

 

[Kiwisee]

One thing I dislike about the True Crime Communities are the armchair detectives who treat the whole thing like it’s a thriller novel.

It’s one thing to look at someone like JF Garapeiy and see why he looks suspicious as fuck (he doesn’t help his own case by acting as guilty as he possibly can, so wonder people think that he murdered his wife).

It’s an entirely other thing to go out of your way to harass family members involved in cold cases, or to accuse random citizens of being the murderer. Or putting out retarded conspiracy theories on already solved cases for clout.

Take a look at the Delphi case, for example. Prior to Richard Allen’s arrest, random citizens were having their lives fucking ruined by Redditors accusing them of being the man in the video just because they had a 50% resemblance. The victim’s families were also being harassed by Redditors who cooked up conspiracy theories of them being somehow involved in the murders of the girls. Look at this thread if you want a small dose of how fucking insane True Crime community surrounding this case is.

This is 100% a Reddit problem, by the way. I’ve noticed it getting progressively worse as YouTubers started pointing to Redditors giving names back to random John/Jane Does by going through missing persons reports around the same time. There’s no doubt in my mind that this inflated the egos of a lot of a lot of Redditors out there.

 

[Not A Bunny]

These people act like it’s 1924 and not 2024. Women in abusive relationships have a million fucking resources to use to leave their relationships. And there are also a million signs before a partner actually kills them too.

Even in civilized countries, "moving away from the wifebeater" ends with "he goes to her new house and murders her" annoyingly often. It's an area of law enforcement that really does need radical overhaul (i.e. pussy courts need to stop letting the fuckers run free).

We as a society don't like to admit that women, being more passive, and putting up with more shit, end up as victims of their own womanhood. Women get more sympathy and shorter sentences in jail, but they don't bother to shoot the bastard that would kill them.

I realize that it would be playing into the stereotypes that women are weak and need society's protection and men are bad and are always the abusers, but feminists need to understand you can't have both: either women are equal to men and should have the kind of aggression it takes to kill a man that would hurt or kill you, or we need to strongly revamp the legal system to protect women that can't protect themselves. Otherwise, the legal system is always going to be "equal rights, equal fights".

I'm not saying I know the answer, nor do I believe that a more stringent legal system isn't ripe for abuse, but there it is.

One thing I dislike about the True Crime Communities are the armchair detectives who treat the whole thing like it’s a thriller novel.

People can't compartmentalize anymore. Experiences must be fully immersive. It must absolutely involve them. Even, somehow, non-fiction must make them feel like they can be involved with it (thus, among other examples, the Netflix Cleopatra disaster).

There are so many people in this world that need to be told that not everything is about them.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I'm not saying I know the answer, nor do I believe that a more stringent legal system isn't ripe for abuse, but there it is.

idk I've yelled pretty loudly at lots of women without ever murdering one because she didn't touch my vagina right or whatever. Maybe people should just not beat up their wives.

"You! The victim" are putting yourself in a horrible situation through ignorance, naivety or thinking you can change them when you really need to be getting the fuck out of there in some situations.

Do you live in a democratic nation? Why not write some letters to your MPs/congressmen about drafting a law that the state prosecutes DV charges, so that the victim does not have to?