Ways Chris could make money

[Smutley]

If he tucked a fraction of his welfare income into a 401K account he could conceivably have a tidy sum upon reaching an elderly age. No effort required, aside from showing restraint.

Originally I discounted this idea completely because the contribution amounts would be minuscule. But as a thought exercise I ran some numbers to see just what he would generate money wise.

Data used
Years until retirement: 34
Yearly income: $9,600
Yearly ROI: 7%

With a monthly contribution of $50 from his tugboat, at age 65 Chris would see 82,342 in a Roth IRA.
If he bumped it up to $100 he'd have $164,684.
At $150, he'd have $247,026.

Now this may look fine and if you were in his shoes with a house that was paid off and enough money to get food and whatever that might be able to work for you, but Chris is both incredibly greedy and incredibly impatient. There's no way he'd wait 34 years to collect his money even if it would be in the six figures and there's no way the house they're in now is going to stay standing for that long. There's also no way he'd contribute to an IRA without someone like Barb taking his money and doing it for him and explicitly not telling him about it because he'd scheme to cash it out at a huge early withdraw penalty or managing it for him once he did hit the proper age.

Now, for you forum goers: you might want to look into 401K's with your employer, or an alternative like a Roth IRA.

 

[Stalin]

Brilliant! Technically he's only banned from McD's as a *customer*.

My McDonald's was willing (and did) hire a pedophile, why not Chris?

Would you really want to (or to have other people) eat anything Chris had a hand in making??

No, but at least he would be doing something other than sit and play vidya and bitch about things.

 

[Bgheff]

Chris couldn't last a month at Wendy's, and that was years ago when he was better socialized. There is no way he could work at McDonald for very long before getting fired for being lazy, unhygienic, rude to customers or just disobedient.

 

[Stalin]

Chris couldn't last a month at Wendy's, and that was years ago when he was better socialized. There is no way he could work at McDonald for very long before getting fired for being lazy, unhygienic, rude to customers or just disobedient.

You'd think that...but the thing is people, McDonald's knows they have an established brand name, and as long as the fries are hot they don't care.


Though I could imagine Chris would get fired for something like stealing food or creeping on someone. One thing they take seriously is sexual harassment.

 

[HandBanana]

If Chris really wanted to make quick money like someone stated before he could whore himself out on youtube. Chris Chan Harlem Shake videos, Chris Chan twerking videos, Chris Chan reaction videos, Chris Chan speaks videos, and of course Chris Chan song parodies. This shit writes itself and undoubtedly people will watch.

Instead of that song Blame it on the Alchohol it would be Blame it on the Autism and so forth.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Chris has two agendas in life. One is to find a young, pretty surrogate mother to have sex with, and the other is to exact vengeance on the people he has decided are his blood enemies. If he were to get a job of any kind, he would use it as a way to address these agendas. If he worked at McDonald's, he would end up writing his phone number and email address on all of the cups so that ever-so-lonesome pretty girls could reach out to him and be his ground up sweetheart. Rage would ensue when a JERK takes one of these cups intended for GOOD WOMEN. Later, an elderly man would open a box of McNuggets and read a strange note about "Game Place loves sex offenders and Mary... Lee... Walsh? And who is Megan?" Chris is fired, takes everyone's picture, and is arrested that night while attempting to draw Sonichu on the drive through window.

 

[Meeko]

Not to mention, he technically has a criminal record. If you were a business owner trying to make a profit, you'd consider Chris completely toxic.

Actually, McDonalds is one of those places known for hiring people with spotty backgrounds. They kind of thrive on hiring people who couldn't get a job elsewhere because they know that they can pay them dick and not get as much flak as they would with someone who could maybe get a job at a slightly better place.

 

[LordCustos3]

...what if he got back on Youtube, started making videos about whatever he wanted to, and monetized his account?

Lets overlook that to make money you'd have to be a YouTube partner, and becoming one is not as easy as you'd think.
I think that might work for maybe one or two videos, then he'd make a vid that devolves into a hateful, frothing homophobic rant, and he'd get a strike on his account for hatespeech. In butthurt retaliation at da YouTube for takin' down his vid, he makes another hateful, frothing homophobic rant, this time aimed directly at da twolls who run YouTube. Strike Two. He mindlessly ups the ante yet again. Strike Three. "This account has been terminated for repeated and severe breaches of the Terms of Service."

Or maybe sell hand-made Sonichu merchandise?

Again, I don't want to be a fun-killing wet-blanket.....but I suspect that Nintendo/Sega/Sony/Hasbro and their legal departments will become intensely unamused at all this unauthorized derivative works being monetized without their consent, input or....financial remuneration.
There would be a 1% chance of Chris'tard receiving a draconian licensing agreement (not worded in chris's favor) and a 999% chance of receiving enough Cease and Desist letters to choke a Waillord. Den all his fave toys/game companies would be Twolls; and that would make him sad in the pants.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

Worst. Callboy. Ever.

 

[MetroidJunkie]

Actually, McDonalds is one of those places known for hiring people with spotty backgrounds. They kind of thrive on hiring people who couldn't get a job elsewhere because they know that they can pay them dick and not get as much flak as they would with someone who could maybe get a job at a slightly better place.

Not anymore, did you hear about those fast food protests? Apparently, there are people trying to make a living off of working in McDonald's now, which is kind of sad.

 

[QI 541]

Actually, McDonalds is one of those places known for hiring people with spotty backgrounds. They kind of thrive on hiring people who couldn't get a job elsewhere because they know that they can pay them dick and not get as much flak as they would with someone who could maybe get a job at a slightly better place.

Not anymore, did you hear about those fast food protests? Apparently, there are people trying to make a living off of working in McDonald's now, which is kind of sad.

Yes, how sad people expect to make a living off of their jobs.

 

[MetroidJunkie]

Yes, how sad people expect to make a living off of their jobs.

Off of a fast food job, though? They've been considered dead-end jobs. Just shows how bad things have gotten that people can't find anything better, we need better job opportunities rather than force businesses to pay premium for low end work.

 

[QI 541]

Yes, how sad people expect to make a living off of their jobs.

Off of a fast food job, though? They've been considered dead-end jobs. Just shows how bad things have gotten that people can't find anything better, we need better job opportunities rather than force businesses to pay premium for low end work.

If this was your ideal world and everyone went and got better job opportunities, then there would be no one left to work at Mcdonalds, and then Chris can't have his q-sands

 

[MetroidJunkie]

If this was your ideal world and everyone went and got better job opportunities, then there would be no one left to work at Mcdonalds, and then Chris can't have his q-sands

Well, until recently, there were far better job opportunities than McDonald's and they mostly hired teens and dropouts. All I'm saying is a grown person trying to support a family should pursue a better job opportunity than a fast food restaurant, it's pretty low skill so you can't expect the pay to be that good.

 

[SodomyRocket]

^ fast food jobs are suppose to be a first job. You work there for a couple months to a year or two then find something better with the skills you learn. There are always people needing to learn basic job skills. This is how the economy worked before the recession it's not an ideal world. I also never got how biting the hand that feeds you and demanding $15 an hour is considered a good idea.

 

[timtommy]

I think the answers to the questions in this thread are fairly obvious.

1. Of course Chris could make money. His "popularity" might allow him to sell stuff on eBay or operate a pay-per-click blog. If he really put effort in, eventually he would find a fairly low-skill place that would hire him to stock shelves or mop floors. Diversity and outreach programs mean his disability might be an advantage. He could seek out day-labor work in the mean time. He probably couldn't cash in big-time, but making a little bit of money is generally just a question of time and elbow-greased strength for anyone, even him.

2. Of course he won't. He hasn't for the past decade. Why would he? He all of his needs and a lot of his wants taken care of by others. He doesn't seem to complain about not having money/not being able to afford things more than the average chump.

 

[MetroidJunkie]

^ fast food jobs are suppose to be a first job. You work there for a couple months to a year or two then find something better with the skills you learn. There are always people needing to learn basic job skills. This is how the economy worked before the recession it's not an ideal world. I also never got how biting the hand that feeds you and demanding $15 an hour is considered a good idea.

Exactly my point, it's a sad state of affairs when people resort to relying on fast food jobs as a permanent career choice and, rather than trying to build themselves up and get something better, they just get mad at McDonald's for not increasing their pay for doing the same work as before. I sympathize but you need to be a better worker before you can expect better pay.

 

[QI 541]

If this was your ideal world and everyone went and got better job opportunities, then there would be no one left to work at Mcdonalds, and then Chris can't have his q-sands

Well, until recently, there were far better job opportunities than McDonald's and they mostly hired teens and dropouts. All I'm saying is a grown person trying to support a family should pursue a better job opportunity than a fast food restaurant, it's pretty low skill so you can't expect the pay to be that good.

Lets say the grown person tried, failed, and is now stuck at a fast food restaurant. Now what? We say "too bad for you" and expect him to be content?

Exactly my point, it's a sad state of affairs when people resort to relying on fast food jobs as a permanent career choice and, rather than trying to build themselves up and get something better, they just get mad at McDonald's for not increasing their pay for doing the same work as before.

Rather difficult to get a better job with how much money getting a degree costs and how little you make at your current job.

I sympathize but you need to be a better worker before you can expect better pay.

The pay shouldn't have been this low in the first place.

 

[MetroidJunkie]

Lets say the grown person tried, failed, and is now stuck at a fast food restaurant. Now what? We say "too bad for you" and expect him to be content?

You could also take that both ways because they'd make more money if taxes weren't so unfair and full of loopholes. If you're stuck in a fast food restaurant job, you shouldn't get angry at the fast food restaurant for taking you in, many people can't even get a fast food job because of incredibly poor job opportunities. You should be angry that you can't get a better job. Many fast food businesses also make profit on a per building basis, meaning many of them wouldn't be able to swallow a higher pay wage without raising the costs of their food, which would upset their customers and hurt their business.

Rather difficult to get a better job with how much money getting a degree costs and how little you make at your current job.

You could try to get a better job in the business you're already in. Get there sooner than anyone else, leave later than anyone else, and work harder than everyone else. Businesses will respond favorably to dedicated workers and you will be rewarded for your dedication because then you'd become a valuable asset.

The pay shouldn't have been this low in the first place.

Why shouldn't it be? Nobody had a problem with the low pay wage when jobs were actually easy to come by and the government wasn't straining businesses with taxes and regulations. It's an entry level job, you can't expect premium pay unless you're willing to work harder.

 

[Mourning Dove]

He could be part of a freak show at the circus.