Weird shit you do

So in order to mimic daylight and actually ensure I get sufficient vitamin D, I have a small grow light over my desk that is 2/3 red and 1/3 blue. Works great except for two things: any food brought under the light will look disgusting and I look like I'm mimicking Blade Runner:
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The other strange thing I do is I'll use a watch/clock as a "coin flip" if I ever need to make a decision I'm ambivalent about. E.G. If I'm considering two routes home I will assign left to all odd numbers and right to all evens (or left/right side of the watch face on analog). I look at my watch and the decision is made. If I'm clearly disappointed by the outcome I learn what I really wanted and go with that. Either way it makes it so I am not indecisive. I've utilized this tactic for numerous decisions of varying importance.
 
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I self sabotage in small but truly incomprehensible ways.

I waited a week to email out a project that was already complete to a client that was waiting on the information so they could proceed. That’s five work days in front of my computer where I just did not send it. I don’t know why. I did not forget. I remembered multiple times throughout each day. I like the client. If a supervisor or loved one were to task me why I do these things, I would be incapable of answering.
 
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Dipodomys said:
I put pepper on my popcorn.
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Trader Joe's has a spice called South African Smoke that's really good on popcorn, among other things.
Mean Sonofabitch said:
When I'm at home alone I talk to myself
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I don't think it's abnormal to talk to yourself in private or "think out loud".

Though instead of racial slurs, I often just mumble gibberish that I think sounds funny.
 
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Local Degenerate said:
I punch metal before I touch it, because I'm a huge bitch when it comes to static electricity, and that's just my way of forcing myself to take the shock that only happens 1/10 times.

Mind, not a full force punch, just a rap with my knuckles. Figure it'll sting less on the knuckles then the finger tips.
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If you get a lot of static shocks through your finger the area around your nails will really start to swell up and hurt like hell. I'm talking days of zappin' them.

I smile a lot when I'm by myself. I can be in a waiting room, walking down the street or shopping, doesn't matter. It's just because I'm thinking about funny things and I'm easily entertained.
 
My short term memory is awful, so I find myself writing a lot of to-do lists, even for the most basic of errands or activities. I'm sure some of my co-workers think I'm a serial killer in the making when they see me jotting things down in the breakroom.
 
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TV's Adam West said:
I refuse to eat a sandwich without chips because I'm a fucking psychopath and actually need a crunch.
Sandwich sandwich chip chip chip sandwich, repeat ad nauseum. I'm a menace to society and a threat to others.
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Oh yeah. I also put crushed chips into sandwiches if there's not enough crumbs to make dirtying a bowl worth it.
 
The word "nigger" or "niggers" makes me genuinely laugh and I say it all the time when I'm at home by myself. I have a friend who finds it funny, so if the conversation lulls a bit, we'll say "niggers" like a pair of ironically racist owls calling to each other
 
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After a shower and before I grab the towel, I use my hands like a flesh squeegee and swipe the water off my toned sexy bod.
 
I eat my fries with a fork if I have the option. Most fries are fork-sized, and I really hate grease on my fingers.

If I'm around peacocks, I will try to mimic their calls and yell at them, in an attempt to get them to yell back. It's about an 80% success rate. I also cluck and bawk at my chickens, but that's the tism.
 
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Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
Using animal body language on animals, which is why they like me.
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That's not weird, that's just empathy or emotional intelligence or whatever, and an integral part of being a good dog owner in particular. People who don't know how to do this tend to get impressed when you get their shy dog to play with you simply by bowing quickly and moving sideways with bouncy steps and loose posture, mimicking canine play invitation.
 
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skjora said:
That's not weird, that's just empathy or emotional intelligence or whatever, and an integral part of being a good dog owner in particular. People who don't know how to do this tend to get impressed when you get their shy dog to play with you simply by bowing quickly and moving sideways with bouncy steps and loose posture, mimicking canine play invitation.
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I don't feel like it's that weird but some douchebags I know look down on it. (Too good for it.) Those dudes had a habit of taking innocuous things I did and making an issue out of it, so I think it was probably just some social posturing faggotry.

I do the exact same thing with dogs, at one point mine got too worn out and old to play chase so I would just walk through the yard and occasionally start hopping up and down and barking to excite them (they'd think they were playing even though we're ambling at slower than walking pace). Likewise to mimic their voices (bark, meow). I used to be really good at luring our barn kittens out from hiding by cooing like their mother.
 
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I'll run the sink tap while taking a shit, brushing my teeth, or doing anything grooming related in the bathroom.

I have probably wasted thousands over the years doing this, to no material benefit whatsoever.

It does, however, please my tard brain. I will not stop.
 
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