What Happens If Chris Actually Does Improve?

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drtoboggan said:
Long time lurker, first time posting a topic. If this is more appropriate for the What If thread we can move it there.

Anyway, a lot of the general reaction to OPL's Facebook tantrum about the leak was "the CWCki will continue until Chris improves." Assuming a miracle gets pulled from someone's arse and Chris actually improves, becoming a relatively normal member of society: what does that mean for us? Does the CWCki come down? Do we all move on to trolling David Tanny and Gloria Tesch? Do we *shudder* give up on LOLcows and move on with our lives? Let me know what you think.

Subquestion: How do I access the boards other than Chris and Sonichu? I didn't want to bug anyone with an out of nowhere PM so I figure I'll drop this here. PM me if necessary. The LOLcow general forum is what I'm interested in.
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Chris is the biggest troll to interfere with his life; if he defeats the troll within, he will halt the CWCKI to a halt and without the fluid to feed the hungry lurkers, they will fade out and die as Sonichu merchandise will be laied down in a box and buried in the background, living to rest the memories of the past and the siuations that have effected him and the people around them. He will make his remorse with the people that were first from his actions and ask to be forgiven. With a new attitude, Chris will pursue a career to survive on to help himself and the people around him. And will chuckle with others of his feeling towards the blue arms; while smiling towards his new future.

But what's the fucking possibly that he'll ever change at all? He burnt down his house and still was the same
 
Chris can get better, and i'd argue he has recently. For example, he has started to go out if his way to be social, and has developed some basic level business sense, as shitty as his products maybe.

Thing is though, for every 2 steps forward, he takes 1 step backward. He started going to the impulse social club and boweling nights, he has long ago stopped that stupid fucking attraction sign, he has started doing the accounting for his house, he understands the concept of debt and does make payments, he has learnt not selfishly redirect every topic he can back to himself (see the miyamoto post on facebook) and he has achieved his lifelong goal of selling sonichu merchandise, albeit on a small scale.

Okay, what has he fucked up? He spends exhorbitant amounts of his income on lego, he started the tomgirl thing (not bad in-and-of-itself, but certainly continues to make him a social outcast, especially in Virginia), he continues to scream about blarms, he continues to maintain his belief in his infalibility, going so far as to pepperspray a person over it, and is now openly misandronistic, whilst continuing his sexist views of women.

Chris has, and is improving. He is improving slowly, and everytime he does he creates a new issue, but he is improving.
 
The best thing Chris has ever done seemed to be dealing with his trans issues and going out to meet people.

I'm not gonna say he's actually improving. But given the therapy, the outings, and feeling himself, he certainly stands a chance now...unlike say, 2007, when he was a shutin whose entire life revolved around two old rednecks and their old-world views.
 
Null walks up to the telephone pole in the hot summer sun, a stack of wilting flyers under his arm. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he takes a sip of the warm Coke Zero in his hand. He sighs and reaches up to the gnarled, creosote-soaked wood. The snap of the staple gun is somehow like the dull thump of a shovelful of earth hitting a coffin lid.

"LoLcow needed. No experience necessary, will train. Wages negotiable.
Contact Hause of Nool."
 
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Chris has improved. It's been a slow process, but he's generally better off as a weird tranny than he was as an overgrown toddler. That said, we must temper that optimism with the reality that "better off" for Chris is still pretty bad for regular people. Realistically, he'll never find love, he'll always struggle with basic day-to-day living issues, and he'll probably never live the ideal life he thinks he's entitled to.

And most of the trolls and Christorians have moved on to other LOLCows.
 
Well, he's improving a little but if he changes that far, we'll give him a round of applause and he might type a book about his life with autism and sell them for more money. He'll make more friends too. Too bad the possibility of that happening is near impossible at this rate.
 
If Chris improves it will be in tiny increments. He is not going to wake up tomorrow, have an epiphany, and all of a sudden be "improved" Chris. But if we were to look back to now in a few years, there will probably be a few ways in which Chris has "improved".

Comparing now to a few years ago, we find that Chris is much less homophobic. We find that he is a little more social. We find that he has found ways of making a little money off Sonichu. We find that he has pulled back from the parts of the internet where he made the biggest fool of himself.

These are all improvements. But he is still one hell of a lolcow, so we laugh at him. He will probably make a few more improvements, and still be one hell of a lolcow, so we will still laugh at him.
 
He'll never entirely be able to leave his lolcow status behind him, even if he did improve. His footprint on the Internet is just too large. Even if the Cwcki disappeared, there are still countless references to him and Sonichu online. The best case scenario, albeit a very unlikely one, is that he cleans up, quits the Internet, gets some minimum-wage job and just fades into the background so no one has any reason to look him up.

In general, though, I think this is unlikely - he seems to have this subconscious need to fuck up.
 
Sir Walter Raleigh said:
What would happen to Barb if Chris improved?
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Chris is pretty much all she has and I doubt they do very much on a day-to-day basis. Her family hate her, her husband's dead, her health isn't great and she is likely to have a multitude of her own problems. She'd probably just sit in the hoard as usual, leaving Chris to his own devices... as long he didn't touch the hoard.

With Chris' history, a part-time job to boost his tugboat and a support worker would probably be enough for him to keep going. He has Impulse and people aren't actively trolling him as much, so he'd probably be relatively OK. That's assuming he doesn't burn down his own house again or try to taze someone.
 
Chris has improved. Like a fine wine Lulz only get better with age. Newly bottled Chris was a love shy loner with a dodgy comic series and a barely disguised inferiority complex. Vintage Chris has developed real flavour with age, he's now a mentally unstable, poorly dressed transvestite with unrequited mommy issues, a bizarre social circle and a predilection for pepper spraying innocent bystanders during epic public tantrums. If that isn't a sign of a mature vintage I don't know what is.
 
I don't think Chris's personality will ever change much. But I think he's being "assisted" right now. I think he's following through with some kind of diversionary therapy to keep his felonious autistic butt out of jail. It will help keep his nose clean for awhile. Not permanently. In most important ways, Chris's brain is stuck as a preschooler, and that won't change. He'll always have tantrums. With luck, they won't involve hurting people and going to jail - but don't get your hopes up.
 
Even if Chris gets a job and does something useful in his life, he'd probably still not get a girlfriend anytime soon.
 
Sir Walter Raleigh said:
What would happen to Barb if Chris improved?
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Well, one of the major things holding Chris back is Barb, so in order for him to improve, he would have to stand up to her. She would, of course, go into full-on psychotic mode with threats of murder and suicide. However, as this is a hypothetical self-improving Chris, he wouldn't give in. In which case, either 1) Barb puts up and shuts up or 2) Chris leaves her as Cole did, and she descends even further into senility and insanity, making ever-more-insane threats to try to bring Chris back.
 
Sir Walter Raleigh said:
What would happen to Barb if Chris improved?
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If Chris were to improve on a largely appreciable level, he'd realize just how toxic Barb is. If Chris improved to such a large degree, then he would get a job to supplement his tugboat, and find a place to live. Barb leaches off of Chris more than we realize, and she is the thing that made Chris Chris. Without Chris to manipulate into doing shit for her, she'll be forced to live and do all the shit that she makes Chris do for her. She may try to manipulate Chris into coming back, but Chris being able to and having the will to live on his own will be the threshold. The sooner they are apart, be it through moving out or through death, the sooner both their lives will improve
 
If the past is any indication of the future, the answer is no. Chris has missed every exit there is to get off the road he's on. I say that like he can't ever improve, and I think it to be true. He has been coddled his entire life, and shielded from any criticism. In fact, I can only think of 2 things Chris ever reversed himself on, and that was,

1. Not using attraction signs anymore (but this is debatable)
2. No more Sonichu Sub-Episodes (again, debatable)

And these came from the person he loves the most and whose opinion he values, I think, solely above anyone else: Barb. Even then, he didn't listen to her advice/pleas very well or at all. Especially with the Tomgirl saga/catastrophe.
 
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