Containment What If?

[Pikonic]

detroit

Dodge city.

atlantis

Sodom and Gomorrah

Edit; damn I got beat

 

[Suloxide]

Chris would dress up for a Halloween Party, after all he wouldn't want to miss the chance to get some China.

 

[exball]

Depending on what species he was hunting, like brown bear, yes, that indeed could happen.

There are stories of people getting their ass handed to then by bucks and bulls too

Dude, that's the appeal of this sport. At least for me, it is. I like venison, but it can be tricky to cook it right sometimes.

I have yet to try bear though. Maybe one day I can try mountain lion

Be a man, hunt them with a crossbow. 8-)

 

[SodomyRocket]

I'm no hunter, but I've heard that processing the hunted game is really bloody and messy. Imagine Chris trying to cut up and process a dead animal in his already gross house!

Dressing a kill is not really for the squeamish at all, but you don't really do that in your house, which is why it's sometimes referred to as "field dressing". At any rate, it requires far more dexterity and physical strength than Chris has ever demonstrated. In the case of a deer, you're dealing with a 200+ lifeless animal (---insert Chris joke here---) and extremely sharp knives.

as for butchering... same thing. It's more than Chris could manage on his own safely.

here's a somewhat oversimplified, cartoon step by step (not very gross at all). if anyone can imagine Chris doing this safely, then i'd love to hear your thoughts (as well as the name of what you drink.)

http://www.wikihow.com/Butcher-Deer

Chris didn't cut himself or anyone else with those Cutco knives and he can lift a one ton dog house

 

[exball]

I'm no hunter, but I've heard that processing the hunted game is really bloody and messy. Imagine Chris trying to cut up and process a dead animal in his already gross house!

Dressing a kill is not really for the squeamish at all, but you don't really do that in your house, which is why it's sometimes referred to as "field dressing". At any rate, it requires far more dexterity and physical strength than Chris has ever demonstrated. In the case of a deer, you're dealing with a 200+ lifeless animal (---insert Chris joke here---) and extremely sharp knives.

as for butchering... same thing. It's more than Chris could manage on his own safely.

here's a somewhat oversimplified, cartoon step by step (not very gross at all). if anyone can imagine Chris doing this safely, then i'd love to hear your thoughts (as well as the name of what you drink.)

http://www.wikihow.com/Butcher-Deer

Chris didn't cut himself or anyone else with those Cutco knives and he can lift a one ton dog house

Chris slit an imaginary Clyde Cashs throat. He is obviously an expert at butchering meat.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Snyder would be investigated, as well. I'm sure he has insurance, and insurance fraud isn't uncommon.

 

[Leonid Brezhnev]

He would probably die, either from something stupid or in a Joycamp.

Or flip his shit over the fact (iirc) north korea bans cell phones and the like.

I doubt any kids would be able to make past the jungle that is the Chandler's front yard, besides, candy is expensive!

 

[Kosher Dill]

I know it would never happen, but I think it'd be hilarious if some little kid in a pickle costume went around with his parents trick-or-treating, and they knocked on 14BC's door and Chris flipped out on them. "I WILL NEVER STOP CURSING YOU!!!!"

 

[SodomyRocket]

I know it would never happen, but I think it'd be hilarious if some little kid in a pickle costume went around with his parents trick-or-treating, and they knocked on 14BC's door and Chris flipped out on them. "I WILL NEVER STOP CURSING YOU!!!!"

pickle boy in his first game of kick the autistic

 

[c-no]

I imagine that 14 Branchland Court has a reputation amongst the youth of Ruckersville as having something eerie about it. Stories about ghost dogs and young autistic lads and such. Not forgetting the very real scare-riffic Snorlax and her twin! The kids would all be there with TP, eggs and dares.

14 Branchland Court would have a reputation similar to that of the Zone from STALKER. It'd be an eerie place filled with overgrowth from the lawn, dilapidation from the home, and a sulking man who is active for any troll who approaches. Those who go to the home come back but with fear in their mind and the odor of the home on their body. Among the youth who are epic ween kids lie rumors of artifacts. Some in the form of a shape similar to Sonic, others assuming the form important documents related to the thing similar to Sonic. Those who go in fail to retrieve these items though if they ever did, they could get possible amount of great e-fame among certain places of the Internet.

 

[SlowInTheMinds]

As an aside, I'm absolutely fascinated by North Korea and other totalitarian states, mostly the pre-1985 USSR and pre-1989 Eastern Bloc. Imagine if he was born to a member of the North Korean elite, his whole family would have died in camps by now! They don't exactly have the best psychiatric help available in that country, even for the higher-ups.

Why would a member of the North Korean elite have died in the camps? (Assuming Bob was one of NK's military leaders)

Purges are not uncommon in totalitarian dictatorships. No-one but the leader himself is truly safe.

Not even the Dear Leader is safe.

North Korea is probably a military dictatorship, although they currently define themselves as a socialist republic (like Cuba)

 

[NoisyPanther]

Re: What if Tiffany contacts Chris, and really lets him have

I'll bet you Tiffany will feel great with that weight lifted off her chest.

 

[Hasharin]

North Korea is probably a military dictatorship, although they currently define themselves as a socialist republic (like Cuba)

Actually, they don't even pretend to be socialist/communist anymore. In 70s Marxism-Leninism was replaced with Juche, and since 2009 there are no references to communism in constitution. I think we can call North Korea outright fascist now.

Also:
http://kasamaproject.org/2011/12/18/gar ... ous-state/

Some material by Marx, Engels and Lenin circulates in North Korea, and the Marxist dictum, "Religion is the opium of the masses" is universally known. But according to a Russian study in 1995, "the works by Marx, Engels, and Lenin are not only excluded from the standard [school] curriculum, but are generally forbidden for lay readers. Almost all the classical works of Marxism-Leninism, as well as foreign works on the Marxist (that is, other than [Juche]) philosophy are kept in special depositories, along with other kinds of subversive literature. Such works are accessible only to specialists with special permits." (One thinks of the Catholic Church in the Middle Ages restricting Bible reading to the trusted clergy, and discouraging it among the masses.)

 

[Judge Holden]

Re: What if Tiffany contacts Chris, and really lets him have

I forsee that a new ARCH TROLLING BITCH will be added to the CWC rogues gallery, along with tales of how much LOVE AND TLC I SHOWERED HER WITH!! and how this meant china was basically promised and she is an evil harridan for not dedicating her life to servicing chris

 

[timtommy]

Re: What if Tiffany contacts Chris, and really lets him have

I disagree with my fellow forum-mates.

I don't think it would really register. Megan, Kacey, and Jackie all criticized Chris pretty hard, but he saw potential china and rolled with the punches.

I think Chris would read any reaching out as a positive sign. He would reply with a bunch of excuses/whining and operate under the assumption that he had persuaded her. He would then treat her as a gal-pal.

While Chris can clearly be confrontational, he has also shown the ability to take a lot of shit from potential sweethearts.

 

[hurpdurpmanguy]

2nd American Civil War (or, as it would be called in Ruckersville, The War of Troll Aggression... damn fart-minded jerks, starting their stupid wars and such)

Who in the hell would fight for Chris? His lego buddies that he made little army suits for?

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

2nd American Civil War (or, as it would be called in Ruckersville, The War of Troll Aggression... damn fart-minded jerks, starting their stupid wars and such)

Who in the hell would fight for Chris? His lego buddies that he made little army suits for?

I don't know about that. If anything, they too would turn against him at some point.

 

[Naxra]

http://akira.wikia.com/wiki/Tetsuo_Shima


One fine day, mysterious fumes from the hoard, containing chemicals found nowhere else in the universe, finally irridate enough of Chris' brain to allow him to develop psychic powers. They are similar to those developed by Tetsuo Shima from the manga/film Akira. Unaware (yet) of these new-found powers, Chris drives Son-chu towards the nearest McDonalds, but by the end of the day, he will be the most psychically-advanced and powerful creature in the entirety of existence, able to do nearly untold damage to the world around him.

What happens next?

 

[impossibility]

KANEEEEEEEDA
TETSUOOOOOO
KANEEEEEEDA
TETSUOOOOOO

JULAAAAAAAAY

 

[Kosher Dill]

Scenario: November 15 rolls around and Chris has pawned everything he can bear to part with, credit cards are maxed out, and he even rolled Barb over to search the couch cushions for change. But he's several hundred dollars short of a PS-Quadruple. He says...
"What would I do for a PS4? I'd sell my soul!"

Naturally, Beel shows up, Chris signs on the dotted line, and the deal is done. The next morning, when it's time to hand over his soul, Chris remembers the innumerable TV parodies of this situation and demands a trial first. Satan himself prosecutes, Major Wuss Rob Bell somehow gets roped into defending, and as is customary, the jury will be made up of dead Americans summoned from the afterlife.

So: who's on the JURAAAAAY?