Containment What If?

Re: What if Barb had died first?

28 October 2011 was an inevitability, given how often Chris must drive past the shop.
 
Hey Chris! I have a 20-piece McNuggets in my pocket! Untie me so I can reach it!

Re: What if Barb had died first?

butt in trouble said:
Would bob even be able to stop Chris with his ill health?
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Well, Barb's health is no great shakes either. Her control is entirely due to psychological means, if I understand right. Bob, I don't think he would have his tendrils wrapped around Chris to the same extent, and he wouldn't try to hoard him. His disciplinary methods tended more toward lecturing and arguments instead of weird codependent spooning.
Given that, I think Chris would be a bit better off because Bob would probably let him go out and do more things. 28 October probably wouldn't have happened, so Bob wouldn't have quite as much reason to think that Chris can never be unsupervised again.
 
I tell him I need to go to the bathroom. Someone will notice him untying me at the rest stop.
 
I'd try hitting on him, since I'm a JERK and therefore have a :pickle:, he might become uncomfortable enough to let me go.
 
HOLY SHIT IT'S CHRIS!!!

car-crash12.jpg


(Do I really need this picture?)

Re: What if Barb had died first?

Chris might be better considering that Bob is a better parent than Barb.
 
Re: What if Barb had died first?

Alan Pardew said:
Chris might be better considering that Bob is a better parent than Barb.
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Yeah, but that's not saying much. Chris still ended up the way he is with Bob in the house for 29 years.
 
Re: What if Barb had died first?

the house may be cleaner
 
Re: What if Barb had died first?

Alan Pardew said:
Chris might be better considering that Bob is a better parent than Barb.
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Saying Bob was the better parent is like saying Doctor Frankenstein was better than Igor at keeping the Monster locked in the dungeon; true, he does a better job, but it's because of the Doctor that the Monster exists.
 
Re: What if Chris smoked marijuana?

DykesDykesChina said:
His hedgehogs would show up and tell him that drugs are bad mkayyyyy and turn you into a Zombie and that he should stop and tell Barb.
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Imagine the song the hedgehogs are going to sing to him.

Initially people would flee, but then if it got worse, the government might consider nuking it.

But there may be a few people enjoying that fantasy though.

Nothing much will happen consider that Chris is still lazy and I don't think anyone would actually follow his orders to defeat the DANG, DIRTY TROLLS.

He would initially post a lulzy Facebook post bitching about it, but later on he might moved on to some other fast food restaurants (e.g. Golden Corral)

Re: If someone were to start publishing their own Sonichu co

He would post an angry Facebook post about how it's FALSE and DISHONEST.

But he would forget about it and played his vidya.
 
What would have happened if every school district the Chandlers passed through stood their ground against Barb's threats of civil action and tried to put Chris in special education? Would Chris be homeschooled? Taken away? Would Borb have relented one day?
 
Borb may have tried to sue the school. Soon they would've gotten extreme media attention; the dark secrets of the Chandler Clan would be revealed to the world. Upon seeing such bad parenting, Chris would've been taken away by social services.
 
Enjoy the ride until we stop; I try to talk Chris into untying me on the grounds that I'll need to move my hands to eat. He refuses and says he'll feed me. I bite his hand as hard as I can and fire off a cheap one into the crotch. While he's on the ground I try to find the keys or a knife to unlock the cuffs/cut the rope. Alternatively, he does untie me. I step into him, stun him with the back of my hand and use my body like a fulcrum to put him on the ground. Then I GTFO and find out where I am.
 
They'd pull Chris out of the trollin' stupid school and homeschool him. He'd end up even more screwed up than he is by Borb's indoctrinating him with their values and he becomes an even bigger lolcow, thinking the whole world is full of trolls early in life.
 
If all else fails, there's always the ultimate emergency ploy:
"Chris! Don't you recognize me? It's me, Tiffany Gowen!"
Even though I'm a man that looks and sounds nothing like her, it just might work.
.... unless he tied me up BECAUSE he thought I was Tiffany Gowen. That would be trouble.
 
Re: If someone were to start publishing their own Sonichu co

The publisher will make big bucks by spreading the lulz. And CWC will go hissy fit!
 
He would inject it thinking no work was involved and end up even fatter.
 
Surtur said:
He would inject it thinking no work was involved and end up even fatter.
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This. Maybe more aggressive but that would be fruitless since he rarely leaves the house for extended periods of time.
 
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