Containment What If?

I've spent some time there, so I can provide some decent answers to this.

For one, he'd die of exhaustion. NYC is heavily based around pedestrians, and cars in Manhattan tend to get stuck in traffic jams for their entire trip in spite of attempts to make it more efficient than it ordinarily would be (I've driven in Manhattan. Don't do it unless you have to). Which means to get anywhere, he'd either be smashing his car through traffic thicker and more dangerous than he's ever handled before and having obscene difficulty finding parking (plus paying any time he parks for any length of time) or panting and wheezing as he walks for miles. The subways would be killer; most of them have nothing but stairs, without an elevator or escalator. I can't see him getting anywhere fast from his entry, at least not without a car crash or two.

And he'd almost immediately earn the ire of the locals. Contrary to popular belief, New Yorkers aren't rude and they're actually quite helpful. They have that reputation because they're very often in a hurry, as New York City is a very active city that rewards hard work and punctuality and has little time for slackers. Lazily strolling down the middle of the sidewalk or stopping in the path to look at a map or stare up at the skyscrapers will at best get you angry glares, and might result in you being shoved aside by someone in an especially large rush. Chris already has poor enough social skills in a smaller town that get him banned from any place he steps in, and a place that requires this much attention and courtesy couldn't handle him.
 
Crazy Pacer said:
He's only qualified to be a crash test dummy, so I assume he's being hired to be a crash test dummy?

In that case, yes. In fact sign up all the autists for that duty. We'll start with seat belts on and as they get used to the job we can start removing the restraints.
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Unfortunately his fat would protect him.
 
Barb wouldn't even notice he was gone until she woke up and realized she missed her daily McDonald's because Chris failed to play the pokeflute.
 
When I was at Retard Academy, one of the staff members tried some sort of Harry Potter trick with me.

It did not work.
 
Emperor_Norton said:
Let's say that you were in a hiring position at a minimum wage unskilled job (i.e. HR/Manager at Walmart), and you saw Chris's resume on your desk. You do not know who Chris is, you have never met him, and you had never even heard of him, other than a short clip on the local news regarding his home burning down, so you decide to google his name to find out more.

After learning about his :fapcup:, his :briefs:, his :tugboat:, and :medallion:, how do you react? Do you toss his resume into the recycle bin, or do you give him a chance with an interview? If you decide to interview him, how would it go, and would the interview make you more or less likely to hire him?

Keep in mind, this is not about his actual work ethic or performance on the job, nor his Social Security disability payments and the conflicts which could arise from him trying to get a job. The real question here is: Is Chris employable?
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Nearly without exception, there are far more applicants for any job than there are jobs Even something like Walmart is bound to have superior options available, so on a fair basis, the HR manager throws Chris' resume on the stack of declined applications.

This kind of cop out answer doesn't really go into enough detail with the scenario--but there is something unusual about it from the very beginning.
The HR Person spends the time to understand who Chris is. Most HR people would throw the resume into the trash and move on to the high school junior, but here that's not the case.

All the same, HR representatives in companies can't really do something like tip off social services or suggest that a real problem is floating around--they have enough problems keeping their own teams solid. Frankly, if the google search was NOT the first thing that they did, they'd try calling the people on that Resume.

The most recent 'employer' is Michael Snyder's Game Place. And it's not like Snyder has any legal obligation to whitewash Chris' misdeeds. Weens and Julays to the contrary, if Snyder thinks he's dealing a serious inquiry he probably gives serious reasons NOT to hire CWC. Chris' stupidity in citing Snyder and the Game place rivals some of his more famous deeds.

The Direct Approach, of giving a Phone Interview, won't get anywhere either. Having been approached by the likes of Sherigu Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aime, there's no way a WM Manajerk is going to be taken that seriously. Chris won't take the call, and he won't even be very interesting on the phone. Possibly some Trolling fun can be had if Chris gets called out on some crap, but Chris hanging up is the end of the hiring process.

Or consider that a Background check hits a felony conviction. Chris probably does not mention that he hit Michael Snyder in a parking lot anywhere.

The score keeps coming back "Hard No" over and over again. Frankly, anyone who decides to hire Chris deserves to get fired themselves--can you argue any other way that they hired Chris for the good of the Company? That he was the best man for the job? Chris will lose his job, but Chris losing his job is entirely predictable. But how it happens--harassing a customer, a coworker, potentially something like indecent exposure or public nuisance--is entirely predictable. The HR person has deliberately chosen someone who has done bad things to others. They're not going to fix CWC, nor are they paid to try it--they need to have their tasks done optimally.

The Hiring Process is far from perfect. Complete losers gain access to jobs they will not perform well, and it's all too based on personality instead of deliverables. But Chris is a failure in either method--and he shouldn't make it to an interview.

Chris isn't truly unhirable but he is a true believer that he doesn't need to change to get a job. That is quite the problem.
 
I would assume than even the call girls of Vegas have higher standards for clients than Chris. [As a side note, brothels are legal in other counties, but aren't legal in Vegas. And streetwalking is illegal everywhere in the state]. But assuming one did try to get him to solicit her services, I'd imagine he'd rant on and on for hours about the trolls and whatnot before she gave up on him.
 
he would possibly go to one of the many casino's, cause a scene, then get thrown out and start ranting on how the trolls did this to him. after that he would probably get the cops called on him due to the ruckus he would be causing
 
Jump a train? The dude can't do a single pull up. Even if they knew he was there and said "hey buddy, we'll take you down the line, it's cool. Hop on!" and kept the train perfectly still for him he wouldn't make it.
 
I mean, he made it to Ohio just fine. So he's probably fully capable of driving across multiple states if he so desires.

But really, where would he go? I don't think Chris is quite stupid enough to just jump in his car and start driving in a random direction with no new home in mind.
 
A common misconception about New Yorkers is that they're rude. They're not. They just don't have time for bullshit and they extend to you what they consider the greatest courtesy of all; They don't waste your time by unnecessary words and pleasantries, because they figure you're busy too.

Imagine Chris trying to converse with someone from NY in his meandering, cryptic, frustrating way of speaking. They'd tell him to fuck off after 3 seconds.
 
To a certain breed of people into sortof revolting things, It would be a cult hit.
 
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