Containment What If?

I'd say "JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY."


I'm surprised and disappointed no one else said it...
 
Let's say back in high school Chris does decide to ask one of them out, and he gets rejected. (I'm sure he'd hear the "you're a nice guy, but...") Now, how do you all think he would react, and how would this affect his post high school life? How would it affect the love quest?
 
During high school, he'd probably shrug it off and ask out his second choice (then third, et cetera), because women are all easily replaceable and my God, who isn't lining up around the block to do sex on that Christian hunk, amirite?

After high school, when things fall to shit, he'll have obsessed over anything and everything that diluted his seductive powers and work tirelessly (well, by his standards) to correct this grievous error. So, instead of being that one oddball who the girls would only remember after some prodding, he'd be a big passive-aggressive monkey on their backs. Think of all the copies of Chris + Sarah Tiffany Kellie's Life-Shares he'd make.
 
Tardrage, try again, tardrage, try again, repeat until he's asked out all his gal-pals and he's been rejected by all of them. Then he stress sighs and crashes into slumber.

His love quest starts in high school and he gets suspended for soliciting. Borb tries to sue, but is unsuccessful. They take Chris out of school and homeschool him, but he never does his work, instead playing vidya and reading books for sixth graders. He never graduates and since he never had the class where he created Sonichu, he never writes the comic and never makes a medallion. Mimms never uploads the picture to ED which means he never becomes internet infamous. He becomes a minor local lolcow as a guy who tardrages that he can't get a date and solicits in public. He meets Megan and while he never becomes her boyfriend, he doesn't alienate her due to uploading SheCameForCWC.

Because he never graduated high school and can't get a job, he still gets the tugboat and lives more or less the same as he does now.
 
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
Tardrage, try again, tardrage, try again, repeat until he's asked out all his gal-pals and he's been rejected by all of them. Then he stress sighs and crashes into slumber.

His love quest starts in high school and he gets suspended for soliciting. Borb tries to sue, but is unsuccessful. They take Chris out of school and homeschool him, but he never does his work, instead playing vidya and reading books for sixth graders. He never graduates and since he never had the class where he created Sonichu, he never writes the comic and never makes a medallion. Mimms never uploads the picture to ED which means he never becomes internet infamous. He becomes a minor local lolcow as a guy who tardrages that he can't get a date and solicits in public. He meets Megan and while he never becomes her boyfriend, he doesn't alienate her due to uploading SheCameForCWC.

Because he never graduated high school and can't get a job, he still gets the tugboat and lives more or less the same as he does now.
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If anything, that would be somewhat better for him compared to where he is now
 
I think Chris did ask a girl out in high school (though I don't think she was one of his regular gal-pals), and she turned him down. He seemed to get over it rather quickly.

If he asked one of his regular gal-pals out, and she turned him down, he'd probably just try asking out another gal-pal, or waiting a couple weeks to ask the first gal-pal out again. He's never been that good at taking no for an answer.
 
trombonista said:
If he asked one of his regular gal-pals out, and she turned him down, he'd probably just try asking out another gal-pal, or waiting a couple weeks to ask the first gal-pal out again. He's never been that good at taking no for an answer.
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Now, I'm picturing Chris scribbling out a "Tiffany KellieWhoever Came for CWC" drawing in class, accidentally letting it slip out of his backpack, and starting that whole furor about ten years early.
 
cubesandcubes said:
<vending machine hating game programmer with delusions of grandeur parodied many times by somethingawful>
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Do you mean Doctor DEREK SMART?

He hasn't done much the past decade. Unless he uses that huge brain (which has its own heart and lungs and possibly tiny brain) to troll us from the past, to the FUTURE!

John Romero is a better candidate. He burned $44 million to make basically a Quake II mod. He also married a teenage Romanian runaway, who later divorced him.

However, he did get to rub his silky tomgirl hair against Killcreek's surgically enhanced bosom.
 
If Highschool Chris had asked one of his gal-pals out, without behaving differently from the way he behaved in reality beforehand (i.e. being a harmless dorky birdbrain who obsesses about Sonic), he might have gotten a positive answer, because the girl would have thought something along the lines of: "Aww that's somewhat cute, the disabled kid wants to go out with a lady, probably saw it in some movie and wants to imitate it, playing grown-up. He's stupid but completely harmless like a gradeschooler. I'll go out with him, we'll have 'dinner' at McDonald's, then see a children's cartoon movie together, then he can go home and pe proud that he took out a lady."
Imagine the poor lady's unpleasant surprise when the "stupid but completely harmless gradeschooler" starts eying her cleavage and tries to smooch...
 
Re: Christian W. Robin - what if he lived in the 100 acre wo

Little-Lovely said:
Chu Guevara said:
Somewhere in the world, a drawfag has just picked up their pencils....
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Don't you dare tempt me heathen
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You know someone's doing it. ;)
 
Re: Christian W. Robin - what if he lived in the 100 acre wo

Chu Guevara said:
Little-Lovely said:
Chu Guevara said:
Somewhere in the world, a drawfag has just picked up their pencils....
Click to expand...

Don't you dare tempt me heathen
Click to expand...

You know someone's doing it. ;)
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only a drawing in the classic winnie the pooh style could properly imagine chris chan stuck in rabbit's hole. i had a photoshop ready, but it wasn't as good as it could be.

what if the parappa the rappa contest happened now or during the height of trolling?
 
CatParty said:
what if the parappa the rappa contest happened now or during the height of trolling?
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If it did happen, the trolls might vote for Chris just like in that Guitar Hero contest for GameStop, reinforcing Chris' perception of him having fans. If it happened now, Chris wouldn't join because of his paranoia of trolls.
 
League of Fail ASSEMBLE!

Christian Weston Chandler, Great Director Mayor of CWCville!

James H. Vipond, Man of a thousand terrible ideas!
http://wat.midco.net/jvipond/
http://badwebcomics.wikidot.com/the-easy-breather

Joe Cracker, Zelda film-maker!
http://www.platypuscomix.net/people/joecracker.html
http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/the-l ... .44833398/

David Gonterman, The internet's self-proclaimed most dangerous cartoonist!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/C ... dGonterman

And, the most mysterious of all.... Whoever writes the Time Cube site:
http://www.timecube.com/

League of Fail GO!

I think the question is "What if Chris had won the contest way back when?"

We all know the incident with the troll playing "Vanessa Hudgens", but what would happen if the real Vanessa Hudgens started reading the Cwcki and, like most beautiful Hollywood starlets, had a huge fetish for fat, dumb, smelly, creepy guys. So, she's reading the Cwcki thinking "Wow, this guy's really hot" when she comes across the page about the imposter that fooled Chris. Realizing that means Chris would be interested in her, she decides to pursue him.

How would that go? Would he realize his sweetheart has come at last, or would he accuse her of trolling or otherwise screw it up?
 
Tetsu Deinonychus said:
I think the question is "What if Chris had won the contest way back when?"
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even better. like how much would he harass megan if he had actually won?

vanessacameforcwc.jpg
 
CatParty said:
Tetsu Deinonychus said:
I think the question is "What if Chris had won the contest way back when?"
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even better. like how much would he harass megan if he had actually won?
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A lot, especially since she told him she wouldn't have gone with him if he won, and that was before Chris made clear his virgin-breaking ulterior motives.
 
maybe during the wallflower saga would've been best for him to win.

the "please don't leave me or i'll get a hooker" video would've been more whiny
 
Challenge him to a cage fight. I can't help but imagine the reaction, whatever it may be, being funny.

Zac Efron (Circa High School Musical 2) would kick Chris's ass and it would be hilarious.
 
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