Containment What If?

First of all, wonder how the hell he got here in the first place. Second, question if living next to another filthy neighbor, but of a high caliber would be worth it. Third, noise, lots of it. Right next to the wall.
 
Since my neighborhood has strict regulations regarding how your lawn can look (no cars on cinderblocks, lawns must be neatly mowed etc), it wouldn't take long for Chris to wage war against the neighborhood council.
 
I would sing Christmas carols for him...with JULAAYs as the lyrics.

Halloween I would dress up in a pickle suit or just put on lots of self tanner.

For Easter I would leave plastic eggs each containing a single penny all over his yards, especially his windshield and mailbox.

The holidays would be more fun with CWC!
 
butt in trouble said:
Don't forget your Sonichu medallion and please fellas be sure to wear a bra!
Click to expand...

Should I bring an African-American friend of mine who is donning a pickle suit?
 
I would preach to him about Asperchoso, the one true son of GodJesus. I assume we're talking about Ian Brandon Anderson, right? Because if it were the real Christian Weston Chandler in all of his true and honest glory, I would help him vanquish the evil troll IBAChandler.
 
Nonsense. He wants much more than this provincial life.

I think that Gastonfest would be a suitable title.

How could you READ it? There's no pictures!

She's a beast and she's cruel and she's evil.

He would lose. Against me.

As long as he ran around the tavern singing songs about what a great guy I am, I see no reason why not.

He could be a demigod, but he would never be an Adonis like myself.

He'd be lucky. I use antlers in all of my decorating.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I have filed somewhere a short story whose main character is inspired by Chris. Basically it's about people around the world affected by a viral Internet video.
 
He would pass out. And before anyone tells me that he managed to do the 4 min Parappa video and humped his PSTriple for 8 min, keep in mind, that was a couple of years ago. Chris's health has taken a SERIOUS nosedive since then.
 
Chris could get him to bless Barbs holy arse.
 
What if Chris Chan cut sugar and fast food from his diet and replaced them with healthy greens and good food?

Would there be terrible withdrawal symptoms? Would he lose his mind for a little while? Could his DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS problem maybe be fixed?

What do y'all think?
 
Autism would be cured. He'd get a girlfriend and the CWCki and forums would be taken down.
 
HEY; HE STUFFS CARROTS, HE STUFFS BROCCOLI DOWN HIS THROAT.

Honestly, having reformed my diet and done more or less a total 180, I can say the cravings would most likely be too much for him and he'd cave. After you eat so much processed food it takes you a while to realize how good natural flavors can be, and in that time he'd most likely give up because it's stressful.
The dirty crapped briefs issue-- even if it went away with proper diet, I doubt that it's enough of a personal issue to him (given all of his pretty much deadpan reactions to it that we know about) for it to persuade him to stay with it. If he actually went through with it by some miracle of God&bear&jesus, there's really no telling if it'd fix his incontinence problems or not. I'm not a doctor, but it kind of seems like the issue is a bit more deep-seated than just "He eats nothing but junk food".
 
I can't not think of the episode of South Park where the Dog Whisperer treats Cartman like a dog, including changing his diet, and his behaviour improves.

As a health fanatic I'm obviously bias, but the vast majority of people feel a lot better and have way more energy when they're not on a diet of fried carbs and sugar, which is 90% of what Chris eats. He's also probably dehydrated which leads to further "feeling like absolute shit", which leads to a lot of lazing around and blaming it on da stress.
 
I really not a big drinker but If Chris actually took a shower and did not dress like a tranny I would take him out to a nice restaurant. I wonder how his body will react to actual meat and vegetables.
 
I would, but I'd probably either need to bring my boyfriend, or sit across a table/have my barstool a safeish distance away. It kind of sucks being a female Chris...enthusiast(?) because I know I would never be able to talk to him and have him see me as anything but a potential Sweetheart, regardless of the impossibility.

ETA: Not even saying this because of vanity. He isn't picky, attraction list or not.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back