Containment What If?

Chris as a Roman Emperor

"Publius Quinctilius Varus, Publius Quinctilius Varus, YOU TROLL, give me back muh MOTHER-FUCKIN' legions! Give dem'...Give dem' back!" ~ Emperor Christophus, whose father was said to be 1/16th Olympian. 26 B.GB.

He was said to be more mad than Caligula. :alog:

Unknown Graffiti from Ancient Rome wall: Emperor Christophus likes to penetrate men's behinds :julay:"
 
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I don't see the Chandlers to be the tipping type. They probably don't go to many non-fast food restaurants, after all.
 
What would it be like now? I imagine it'd probably be something like the following:

pointers-last-chickfake-goin-out-big-fat-girl-porn-cake-demotivational-posters-1294277042.jpg
fat_girl_normal.jpg

Odds are high that Chris would be in some of the really mediocre C string porn (at best) and he'd end up getting addicted to drugs and pimped out to various people because they'd tell him that this is "where the real money is at". Chris being Chris, he'd probably get into drugs by someone giving him something at a party- most likely a hot girl or someone that he really wants to like him.

But odds are that he wouldn't get into porn or even into real prostitution, as he would be too cautious and too picky. Chris isn't the brightest guy out there, but odds are that he wouldn't get into any of that willingly. He'd have to be forced into it, essentially, and I don't see anyone going out of their way to do that.

I see him dressing in some of Barb's clothing and putting on a wig to escape detection. He'd be fine until he heard Snyder and then Chris would do something that would completely give himself away, such as knocking over a display or otherwise acting extremely conspicuous. Or he'd go up to the register and pay with his or his mother's debit/credit card as opposed to cash.

Artist's depiction:

Norman_dressed_like_his_mom.jpg


If it actually happened? Either Chris would have had to have cleaned himself up or Megan would have had to have received some brain trauma.

Assuming that it's the latter, odds are that Megan would just settle into a life of mediocrity at best. She'd probably have her hands full with the stress of cleaning the hovel and caring for Barb. After all, even though Chris expects to be the stay at home dad, Megan would be expected to do most of the "woman's work". I can see her constantly at odds with Barb, as Megan would probably be sneaking out a bag full of garbage for every one that Barb brought in. Plus Megan would likely resent her since it's unlikely Barb would allow Chris to move out with Megan unless there was a great argument.

Eventually Megan would find that she's really only alive when she drinks and takes a prozac or something to relax. Eventually she'd OD and Chris would find her stiffening body in the bathtub and have to call the police while Barb tries to keep the children from walking in and finding their rapidly cooling mother. There would be a funeral where Chris would shove the kids onto someone else. Odds are high that he'd allow Megan's family to take the kids "for a few weeks while you heal", which would turn into them eventually filing for custody since Chris's house isn't fit for a dog. Megan's brother or another family member would possibly drive to Chris's house and beat his ass, but that'd be a bonus.
 
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I like the bloomin onion appetizer. It would be funny to watch Chris and Barb chow down on it like farm animals. :lol: I bet Chris would make a grimace if the waiter/waitress asked if he wanted a side salad. I wonder what Chris would actually order?
 
Batman said:
He'd probably make a scene. Most likely if one of the waiters forgot to bring him something or if service was very slow that night.

Incidentally, have we any confirmation that Chris has been to a non-fast food restaurant?

He and the Hambeast went to Applebee's and some karaoke bar.
 
Re: Chris as a Roman Emperor

mst3kluv said:
"Publius Quinctilius Varus, Publius Quinctilius Varus, YOU TROLL, give me back muh MOTHER-FUCKIN' legions! Give dem'...Give dem' back!" ~ Emperor Christophus, whose father was said to be 1/16th Olympian. 26 B.GB.

He was said to be more mad than Caligula. :alog:

Unknown Graffiti from Ancient Rome wall: Emperor Christophus likes to penetrate men's behinds :julay:"

You're my new favorite poster.
 
People would still be telling Chris to shut up and grow a pair. Though this time it would be written on the Berlin or Great Wall instead of a Facebook wall.
 
He'd probably be the one to find Bigfoot, since his smell would be similar enough to theirs to not scare them away.

At that point, Chris would go full Treadwell. Living with the bigfoots, hunting with the bigfoots, maybe even making a bigfette his Sweetheart From The Ground Up. That's when the invasion begins.

Chris returns to Ruckersville, Alpha of the bigfoot troupe and bent on conquering in the name of CWCville. Ruckersville would be defenseless, and quickly surrender. From there, Chris would likely annex Charlottesville itself. The fighting will be long, and it will be bloody. There will be casualties on both sides. Once CWCville is fully established, Chris will set about repopulating his newly independent state with a new race of half-bigfoot-half-lolcow hybrids. And that's when the end begins.
 
DStecks said:
He'd probably be the one to find Bigfoot, since his smell would be similar enough to theirs to not scare them away.

At that point, Chris would go full Treadwell. Living with the bigfoots, hunting with the bigfoots, maybe even making a bigfette his Sweetheart From The Ground Up. That's when the invasion begins.

Chris returns to Ruckersville, Alpha of the bigfoot troupe and bent on conquering in the name of CWCville. Ruckersville would be defenseless, and quickly surrender. From there, Chris would likely annex Charlottesville itself. The fighting will be long, and it will be bloody. There will be casualties on both sides. Once CWCville is fully established, Chris will set about repopulating his newly independent state with a new race of half-bigfoot-half-lolcow hybrids. And that's when the end begins.


That reminds me somewhat of an absolutely God-awful book I read a while back. A hunter accidentally shot a bigfoot, and by the end of the novel a horde of them had destroyed an entire town and was moving on to bigger places.
 
Interesting thought. I think, though, that giving up the coffee pot AND the insurer wanted to at least look into the coffee pot later... boy. I'm scratching my head because I could see it going either way: the insurer could claim that the Chandlers fucked up the case for them and then try to deny coverage, the insurer might still be able to sue Keurig claiming they'd intentionally sought to invalidate the Chandlers' coverage so as to avoid suit against themselves, or the insurer would still be on the hook because they let the Chandlers back in there to get the pot suggesting they were done investigating. Hmm.
 
Re: What if Waterhead was Chris instead of Chris being Chris

Shit himself and do nothing.
 
Re: What if Waterhead was Chris instead of Chris being Chris

Dirty crapped cyberbullying calendars and he'd be really gay.
 
DStecks said:
He'd probably be the one to find Bigfoot, since his smell would be similar enough to theirs to not scare them away.

At that point, Chris would go full Treadwell. Living with the bigfoots, hunting with the bigfoots, maybe even making a bigfette his Sweetheart From The Ground Up. That's when the invasion begins.

Chris returns to Ruckersville, Alpha of the bigfoot troupe and bent on conquering in the name of CWCville. Ruckersville would be defenseless, and quickly surrender. From there, Chris would likely annex Charlottesville itself. The fighting will be long, and it will be bloody. There will be casualties on both sides. Once CWCville is fully established, Chris will set about repopulating his newly independent state with a new race of half-bigfoot-half-lolcow hybrids. And that's when the end begins.

Chris? Hunt? :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Re: What if Waterhead was Chris instead of Chris being Chris

Whose to say Waterhead isn't Chris from a parallel universe trying to slide back to Earth Prime?
His initials are WEW, he has two feet, go back two letters in the alphabet from E, you get C. Change the C to a W and vise-versa.

Just saying it all makes too much sense.
 
Re: What if Waterhead was Chris instead of Chris being Chris

If Christian and Waterboy switched bodies, it would be win-win for sure:

a) Christian would get to have incestuous hanky-panky with Anna and finally lose his virginity on a TRUE AND HONEST basis.
b) Waterboy would have an entire forum devoted to him along with hundreds of people analyzing everything he does down to the last minutiae, and he'd finally have all the attention he wanted.

Someone tell these two dimwits that you can switch bodies if you run hard enough into each other.
 
Re: What if Waterhead was Chris instead of Chris being Chris

He would give insane, barely coherent asspattings to himself on Facebook.
 
Re: What if Waterhead was Chris instead of Chris being Chris

He would finally be inside Chris.
 
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