Containment What If?

applecat said:
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"Interesting contrast between the distorted, misshapen figure of the female, reminiscent of the Cubists or Jenny Saville, and the more clearly defined male figure at the foreground, gazing smugly and confidently past the viewer, while the female figure is obliterated by a black line across her face (and her attempt to cover her breasts), bringing to light the subordination of women in modern society, and the concomitant disconnection between the genders. The differently-coloured irides of the male may represent his two-faced nature (in contrast to the near-faceless female) while his odd necklace is a totem of his masculine power, further reinforced by the thumbs-up
"The artist uses childish materials - copy paper and felt-tip markers - to illustrate the essentially childish ways in which our society engages with sexuality. "She came for C.W.C." What does this mean? An obvious pun on "come", but also perhaps a reference to socio-sexual notions that view women as beings created for male pleasure. The alternate title, "Your sister has cum for me," reinforces the notion of possession, where the woman is a prize to be won from her brother.
"The garish background colours and crude framing mock the prevalence of pornographied perceptions of sex in modern life. We view this sex act not through eyes but through a camera lens, the male figure smiling at the viewer.
"Overall, a fine piece from this young master of Autistic Para-Impressionism."
4 stars - out of 5 - no halves

Reserve price $40,000
 
I wish I'd known about Chris when I was an undergrad. I had an art-history class with a professor who was obsessed with "outsider art" to the point of derailing class discussions. I would have loved to have his opinion on Chris.
 
Re: What if Chris was the main character in an "Amnesia" gam

If all he had to do was hide, I think that Chris would survive for a while. Well, that's assuming that he was able to hide quickly enough. If we take into account that the monsters are usually fairly fast and most players are unable to outrun them in average scenarios, it might be possible for Chris to hide quickly enough. One of the big things in Amnesia is slow torment, so if someone were to drop him in this mall I doubt that they'd want this to be over that quickly.

What would probably get Chris would be his greed. Here he is, a big empty mall full of various goodies. Eventually he'd become bored and get curious about whether or not he'd be able to break into any of the stores that held videogames or various other items he'd be interested in. If it's the Charlottesville Mall, he'd try to break into GameStop and probably attract attention that way. There isn't much to hide behind or under in that store, so he'd be screwed.

Very Honest Content said:
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All day, every day.

I would initially lean towards the female nude models, but I can see him doing this. Especially if some of the students started complaining that they wanted to study the male form. I think Chris would be nice to the women in the class but would be a lot nastier to the guys unless they kissed up to him. If any of them dared to hit on or already be dating one of the class's female members, forget about kissing up: there's nothing they'd be able to do.

What would be funny is if he were to hold the class at say, the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts.

http://www.vmfa.state.va.us/Default.aspx

Of course, if he lived in the area I can see this being one of his "go to" places to hit on women. After all, if they're here then they must be smart, which means that they must be pulling in bank. He'd probably also try to sign up for classes and/or try to talk the place into letting him into the paid exhibit for free.

Honestly? If he managed to get as many people as he did already, then I'd probably be a little concerned. If I was the first person he came after then I'd be less concerned, but he's already wiped out parts of PVCC, as well as Snyder and Mimms.

If Chris is a supernatural terror, he'd have some sort of powers. Remember, Jason was initially just a very handicapped little boy that eventually became the terror of Crystal Lake. I doubt that Chris would be nearly that powerful, but he'd have nothing but time, energy, and rage on his side. By horror movie rules he'd just keep going. Even if he wasn't initially successful, he'd keep going until he wore the person down. He'd go from person to person until he lost interest or someone managed to offer him something that dissuaded his rage. Of course the twist would be that it's not Chris, but a hybrid rage creature of him and Barb: Bris, the blood enraged slayer that goes around killing his/her enemies while making sure to cut their privates off. The male parts he'd destroy, but the female parts he'd try to sew into a woman suit to fulfill his TomGirl desires for china.

This would actually be a good start for a horror movie. Except that this is Chris and the only reason he'd come back is if he was forced to in some Pumpkinhead fashion or if he got to the afterlife and realized that it wasn't full of angels, T&A, and GodJesus patting Chris on the back for his antics.
 
Meeko said:
Honestly? If he managed to get as many people as he did already, then I'd probably be a little concerned. If I was the first person he came after then I'd be less concerned, but he's already wiped out parts of PVCC, as well as Snyder and Mimms.

If Chris is a supernatural terror, he'd have some sort of powers. Remember, Jason was initially just a very handicapped little boy that eventually became the terror of Crystal Lake. I doubt that Chris would be nearly that powerful, but he'd have nothing but time, energy, and rage on his side. By horror movie rules he'd just keep going. Even if he wasn't initially successful, he'd keep going until he wore the person down. He'd go from person to person until he lost interest or someone managed to offer him something that dissuaded his rage. Of course the twist would be that it's not Chris, but a hybrid rage creature of him and Barb: Bris, the blood enraged slayer that goes around killing his/her enemies while making sure to cut their privates off. The male parts he'd destroy, but the female parts he'd try to sew into a woman suit to fulfill his TomGirl desires for china.

This would actually be a good start for a horror movie. Except that this is Chris and the only reason he'd come back is if he was forced to in some Pumpkinhead fashion or if he got to the afterlife and realized that it wasn't full of angels, T&A, and GodJesus patting Chris on the back for his antics.
Chris comes back from the dead as some strange zombie human sonichu hybrid that threatens to kill us with whatever he has. His :briefs: acts as an indicator of his presence and only :pickle: can truly defeat him.
 
Re: What If There Was A Christian Weston Chandler Movie?

HomoDeerBoy said:
Bob-Ray Wise


Oh god yes. And if you meant to do something there, I saw that too.

Who'd be our redhead to play Ivy? Poor gal would have to do a Giant Penis Scene.
 
Re: What If There Was A Christian Weston Chandler Movie?

impossibility said:
HomoDeerBoy said:
Bob-Ray Wise


Oh god yes. And if you meant to do something there, I saw that too.

Who'd be our redhead to play Ivy? Poor gal would have to do a Giant Penis Scene.
Google search redhead porn stars. Anyone will do.
Edit: wow, you get a lot of porn if you search that, I can't find a modest picture :oops:

What if Chris could meet ONE celebrity of his choice? Who would he choose?
 
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Chris would never be a remotely competent horror villain for obvious reasons. I am insterested in what woukd happen 8f he was in a saw movie though.
 
Mourning Dove said:
Judge Holden said:
Yes Chris has returned from the grave and is reeking his revenge upon all those who trolled, mocked, or interrupted his love quest, and will kill anyone to get at them.

So that means he wants to kill everyone in the world then, since he believes everyone is out to troll him?

I think I remember he had some demented fantasy plan to send every young man on Earth into another dimension or super age them or something, so yeah that's pretty much the goal.
 
Re: What if Chris was your family member?

I would accept him just as I accepted my illegitimate daughter.

probably in his fat gut

He would be inadequate to handle the gun.

It would be a shame and a great loss.

Re: what do you think the chandlers home be like if it was c

It wouldn't be much of a home then, would it?

He would be ransacked and ravaged by wild voles or a bear.

Chris is already a severe criminal and deserves only the harshest punishment. As we say on Cardassia, the verdict will already be known before the trial - guilty.

It would be a very short book, as to highlight the unimportance of Chris.
 
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
Mourning Dove said:
After a failed day of hunting, OPL may get lost in the wilderness while trying to find his way back home.

Or if he hires a guide, the guide will have enough of Chris's crap and leave him in the woods.


Coldgrip said:
GrandNumberofPounds said:
Well, that depends on what rifle he'd use. If he did the sensible thing and used an entry-level caliber like .243 the kick wouldn't be too bad. I have a feeling Chris would want to feel like a tough guy and get a 7 mm magnum to hunt deer and the first time he fires it, he winds up with :briefs:
I know what you mean, but this is Chris we're talking about. I'm pretty certain a .22 would have enough of a kick to make his shoulder go numb.

That and guns makes loud noises, remember how Chris deals with loud noises?

Actually I don't remember how Chris handles loud noises. I have a feeling not too well.

Per OPL, he was excused from pep rallies due to the amount of noise that would occur in them, so it's not too far to leap to the conclusion that the noise from a rifle would lead to him having an autistic meltdown in the middle of the woods. However based off some reading on the Virginia State Police website, I think he'd be disqualified from attaining a gun due to his arrest records and Snyder's restraining order on him. Which leads to the mental image of him trying to pull a hunting bow with those pathetic arms of his... :lol:
 
I would punch him in his heart, so it can shatter and I would be have an accomplishment that of MLW. :alog: :alog:
 
Re: What if Chris was your family member?

Ironically, I think I'd be a lot more interested in finding Chris help, since I would assume Barb is beyond hope. But I'd do it from a distance. That whole household is geared toward sucking other people up in its drama. It's not surprising that the other members of the family are estranged.
 
Can I substitute a punch for a rock bottom? [youtube]pfxykpRcJI0[/youtube]

I feel like I could seriously hurt Chris if I punched him in the face. And the stomach for that matter.

Theres something extremely gratifying about slamming someone flat on their back like that. It kinda leaves them in the perfect position to count some lights and think about whats going wrong in their life. We all know Chris needs to do the latter.
 
what if chris met a transgendered/transexual person? would he treat them the same way as he treats the "homos" or if they were feminime looking enough would he mistake them for a boyfreind-free girl?
 
I'd punch him right in the tugboat.
 
Re: What if Chris was your family member?

I'd go to his house, set up a camera and begin documenting things and set him up with a blip account and take all the money.
 
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