Containment What If?

[Siamball]

What if Chris's mom is Thai migrant.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

It's very optimistic you believe that people who post here about interacting with Chris won't jump in to either stop him.

I believe the "Novikov self-consistency principle" with time travel, meaning any changes to the past were part of history all along. So any attempts at being "the next Clyde Cash" by screwing with Christory already failed -- or already made it what it is.

 

[Frozen Fishsticks]

If time travel were invented, we'd see time travelers posting on KF with content like HD photos of Chris using the Attraction Sign and videos of the various confrontations at Target and WalMart?

I would travel back in time to punch that slut Barb in the uterus, making her infertile and preventing her from spawning a shit person like Cole and spare Chris from his cruel and ridiculous existence.

 

[AnOminous]

I would travel back in time to punch that slut Barb in the uterus, making her infertile and preventing her from spawning a shit person like Cole and spare Chris from his cruel and ridiculous existence.

Plot twist: punching Barb in the belly is what turned him into a tard in the first place.

 

[Mr. 0]

Plot twist: punching Barb in the belly is what turned him into a tard in the first place.

What if Chris is the way he is today because other babies trolled him in the maternity ward?

 

[DeeCeeBees]

I wonder if Barb told Bob that she was already menopausal and that gave him the idea it was safe to nut in her. A slight variation on the "I'm on birth control" scenario.

 

[AnOminous]

I wonder if Barb told Bob that she was already menopausal and that gave him the idea it was safe to nut in her. A slight variation on the "I'm on birth control" scenario.

And then pretended "it's a MIRACLE!" Before giving birth to a retard.

 

[ANobody]

Bob’s life would be significantly improved since he wouldn’t be living with Chris or Barb, and he wouldn’t die in quarantine at the hospital.

Also he’d leave all his possessions to Thao instead of Chris, who would cherish them and hold onto them for life.

Chris catches a couple rounds in the chest during the drive by, his last words being some idiotic thing about the land speed of an unburdened sonichu, poor math included.

 

[Webby's Boyfriend]

What if Chris had low-functioning instead of high-functioning autism?

 

[Hogar Grupal]

What if Chris had low-functioning instead of high-functioning autism?

His parents might as well lock him in his room.

 

[Joe Swanson]

What if Chris had low-functioning instead of high-functioning autism?

there would be no Kiwifarms

 

[CheesyBoy]

What if Chris had low-functioning instead of high-functioning autism?

Let's be real, Chris is medium functioing, at best.

What if the hooker that took his virginity got pregnant and didn't abort it/put it up for adoption/throw it in a dumpster?

 

[MindHit]

What if the hooker that took his virginity got pregnant and didn't abort it/put it up for adoption/throw it in a dumpster?

Then one day many years after Chris' passing we'll have Chris 2: Electric Boogaloo.

 

[DeeCeeBees]

If somehow Chris did get Mia pregnant (that would be an interview and a half, BTW) and that Child tracked Chris down and got a DNA test from him then that child would be eligible for Chris's SSI death benefits tug if Chris kicks it while that child is still a minor.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

If somehow Chris did get Mia pregnant (that would be an interview and a half, BTW) and that Child tracked Chris down and got a DNA test from him then that child would be eligible for Chris's SSI death benefits tug if Chris kicks it while that child is still a minor.

I always imagined Chris would be ecstatic about having a kid and maybe offer child support, but Chris might backtrack, cause knowing him, the reality is greater than the expectation.

What if Chris does have a kid, but he and his wife had it at the same age as his parents when they had him? Would the cycle continue?

 

[Jason Wynn]

What if Chris made Chick-Fil-A his fast food joint of choice instead of McDonald's?

 

[Baguette Child]

had it at the same age as his parents when they had him

A child like that, praise be to Allah, would probably not survive to term. Babies born of older women tend to have really fucked up defects, so if you nested two generations of that it'd be barely viable I'm sure.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

What if Chris made Chick-Fil-A his fast food joint of choice instead of McDonald's?

I'm assuming he'd be instantly banned from there, seeing that the founders of the company's ideals don't align with Chris'. It could have been his go to spot during the Classic Chris era though.

 

[AnOminous]

I'm assuming he'd be instantly banned from there, seeing that the founders of the company's ideals don't align with Chris'. It could have been his go to spot during the Classic Chris era though.

Not really. Angry gays were desperate to get some kind of discrimination complaint going against them and even going in and massively queering it up didn't get anyone thrown out. You've never heard of such a thing happening because it hasn't.

Also what if Chris became a Satanic neo-Nazi and joined Atomwaffen?

 

[Spooky Bones]

Also what if Chris became a Satanic neo-Nazi and joined Atomwaffen?

He'd be in a group that makes him look well-adjusted for once...