Containment What If?

I used to volunteer at a shelter for people running away from their abusive spouses and I've seen some pretty bad shit. However, I noticed that the abusive spouse often had personally traits similar to Chris, such as general laziness, pron to violent outbursts, delusions, and extreme anti-social behavior (I can't count the amount of times I've had to keep some of these people from breaking into the shelter). This has lead me to wonder that if Chris somehow managed to get a partner, would he be abusive towards them?
 
This is really a what-if thread, isn't it? And of course... his model of "how to be married" is Borb.
 
xlk said:
I used to volunteer at a shelter for people running away from their abusive spouses and I've seen some pretty bad shit. However, I noticed that the abusive spouse often had personally traits similar to Chris, such as general laziness, pron to violent outbursts, delusions, and extreme anti-social behavior (I can't count the amount of times I've had to keep some of these people from breaking into the shelter). This has lead me to wonder that if Chris somehow managed to get a partner, would he be abusive towards them?
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Chris would be the abused spouse.

NobleGreyHorse said:
This is really a what-if thread, isn't it? And of course... his model of "how to be married" is Borb.
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This.
 
If they had a male child, he would probably try to name it Sonichu, and color it yellow with magic markers. He would expect the baby to regard him with the same adulation as his namesake does.
 
Y'know he has mild heterochromia... There's a remote chance he is a biological chimera and therefore his own twin. He just absorbed the other one...




But I really can't imagine anyone wanting to use a UV light on OPL's nekkid body to look for Blashko lines.
 
Chris would never hit a woman, nor do I think he would verbally abuse her, but he would be one lazy fuck who expects her to wait on him hand and foot. He might have outbursts when she does not behave as he expects her to.

But Chris will never be married or have a sweetheart who isn't a troll, so this is a moot point.
 
2 words, Sonichu cake!

The assistant director, Allison Amber would do all the work while Chris plays video games!

He'd try to steal his identity and wife, if he were married!
 
CalmMyTits said:
But Chris will never be married or have a sweetheart who isn't a troll, so this is a moot point.
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If he was a millionaire tomorrow, I guarantee you he'd be married to some pretty, immoral golddigger within a month. She would keep up with his shit for as long as the money flow doesn't dry up.
 
Does anyone think if the woman enraged him enough (by being sick of his shit, like any sane person would be), he'd (attempt to) properly hit her with what little muscle he has? (or just scream at her in a childish manner while spewing threats, whichever works best)
 
1- He owns Watchmen. On his Blu Ray list on the CWCki. THAT is something I want to see Chris discuss.
2- Chris grew up and has stuck with 90's media. At least when it comes to influences. So I expect a love of Rob Liefeld and Sonichu wearing a vest with lots of pouches.
 
like bluespike, Alec benson Leary, Clyde Cash, etc.

If he saw one of these trolls (and they were actually one of them) standing right in front of him. What do you think he would do?

I think he would want to "kill" them, but we all know Chris is incapable of physical harm (virally he could but that's not the point).
 
He wouldn't recognize them in person. Liquid and Kacey once ended up in the same Gamestop as Chris by pure coincidence and he didn't even notice.
Chris probably doesn't even remember the individual trolls earlier than Jackie. If you walked up and said "Hi, I'm Alec Benson Leary", he'd just stare at you blankly.
 
Kosher Dill said:
He wouldn't recognize them in person. Liquid and Kacey once ended up in the same Gamestop as Chris by pure coincidence and he didn't even notice.
Chris probably doesn't even remember the individual trolls earlier than Jackie. If you walked up and said "Hi, I'm Alec Benson Leary", he'd just stare at you blankly.
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No no no no. In this scenario, the troll would have revealed his name and made sure Chris knew him (otherwise like you said he would never notice him)
 
Great Unclean Chris said:
and made sure Chris knew him
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How do you think that would go? XD

"Hi, I'm Clyde Cash"
*blank stare*
"You know, you can see by my orange face and spiky hair... remember?"
*blank stare*
"I raped your girlfriend?"
*blank stare*
"You know, PandaHalo? You loved her?"
*blank stare*
"Oh, forget this. JULAAAAYYYYYYY"
 
He just doesn't care. Even normal-intelligence people easily forget things they don't particularly care about.

On the other hand, he can probably still tell you all the TMs any of the original 151 pokemon can learn.
 
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