Containment What If?

Hey would be horrible at that, because being a pimp, or dealer, would require business skills. His hookers would find ways to take money from him, and he would not have the capability to keep them in check with violence, like with a back hand. Besides, with the dealer thing, Chris hates TOBACKY, he would be afraid to even hold a pot leaf.
 
What if Chris bangs a really drunk chick and....

Drumroll please...…
A child is conceived
This chick, lets call her Stephanie, doesn't want to be with Chris for [insert obvious reason here]. She's all pro-life so she's keeping it. Chris now sees his life as complete with Crystal on the way. What happens when Stephanie leaves him and wants sole custody of the baby. No judge in their right mind wouldn't grant her request. How hard does Chris fight for rights? How hard would reality hit him after realizing a daughter didn't make his life perfect?
 
Re: What if Chris bangs a really drunk chick and....

He would call Rob Bell to fight for his custody rights. When Bell refuses, he'd make an angry rant on facebook. Some time later he'd stress sigh, crash into slumber and live his "life" as he usually does.

But in the years to come, he'd probably quote the conception of the baby as one of his great deeds (alongside the Honor Roll and the Sonichu comic IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS) and claim that evil trolls coerced the lady to leave him and take away the child.
 
Re: What if Chris bangs a really drunk chick and....

Conceiving a child with Chris would turn even the most pro-life woman pro-choice immediately.
 
What if the Great Old Ones of the Lovecraftian Mythos were real and Chris was somehow drawn into one of their depraved cults? Maybe he'd think that joining a shady cult of barely human inbreds that meets in the Virginian woods and prays to a grotesque idol in orgiastic rituals would be a clever way of getting china.
 
He would Whine about how Cthulhu hasn't given him a sweetheart from the ground-up yet and how that slanderous Clyde Cash hasn't been sacrificed.
 
The very next day i'd start the "Crystal Weston Chandler: 'Kid you got dealt a shitty fucking hand, please make it to adulthood and you're set. PS: We're so... SO sorry.'-College/Therapy Trust Fund"
 
They'd probably throw his ass out after a few weeks. Or sacrifice him, whatever.
 
Dumbass would inevitably do something dumb with his hellspawn and post it on Facebook, trolls would call the authorities, and Dumbass loses custody.
 
It would most certainly die.

He wouldn't take as it would mean he would have nothing to blame for his failures
 
Execute the Electronic Hedgehog Pokemon, CWC and everyone loyal to him on live television. Free the trolls and make them part of the government. Rename CWCville to something less... CWC.. Isn't Stalingrad called Volgograd nowadays? Also secede from the US.

I'd personally copy Singapore because CWCville can't be a large area. So lots of high office buildings and housing. Also build a statue to remember all the pointless deaths in the 4-cent_garbage.com building and the PVCC's resistance against CWC's evil dictatorship.

I'm not sure if democracy would be a good idea with rebuilding the place. Maybe once the place is rebuilt elections will be held.

Everyone would call CPS within 5 minutes of reading the announcement.
 
JarlaxleBaenre said:
Let's ratchet this thread up - What if Anna is the mother? :tomgirl:
Click to expand...
It's been brought up here before she could be his faghag surrogate mother. If those two had a kid it that kid is outta of their hands and into DCF immediately. It is our responsibility as Christorians to nominate which one of us is best suited for adopting her and NEVER letting her know who her real parents are. We can say they're died in the great Troll War of 2016 or something.
 
JarlaxleBaenre said:
Let's ratchet this thread up - What if Anna is the mother? :tomgirl:
Click to expand...


okay
 

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Re: What if Chris bangs a really drunk chick and....

MrTroll said:
Conceiving a child with Chris would turn even the most pro-life woman pro-choice immediately.
Click to expand...

True. Pro-life women are generally against other women's abortions, not their own.

proof
 
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