"Where Have All the Good Men Gone?" - A married person looks at the current crisis of undateable men

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Women have been talking about the lack of good men on the market for about 20 years or so. It’s been the source of countless articles — college-educated men with jobs are harder to find than before. Heck, even blue-collar guys are being snapped up by women who outearn them.

Unfortunately, these articles only tell half the story. They’re looking at marriage from an economic perspective. And you know what? It’s true that most women want to have a man to financially contribute to their family since women will do the majority of the emotional labor at home.

Even so, the shortage of men in the dating world isn’t just an economic issue. Truth be told, the current economy has a lot of women rethinking their need to have a provider in the home. More and more frequently, women are open to being the breadwinner.

So, what’s the deal? Why are women struggling so hard to find a spouse? Economics aside, there are a couple of other reasons why women can’t find good men.

First off, there are some men who are choosing to drop out of the dating scene.​


Whether it’s because they were badly burnt and can’t risk it again, or they just got tired of trying doesn’t matter. A lot of men feel like there is nothing of value in dating or marrying anymore. It’s true.

To a point, I get it.

A lot of women treat men like shit. There’s also this weird current trend where being tall is basically the bare minimum for a large percentage of girls. (I don’t get this. I married someone shorter than me and get flak for it, but I like short men.) All things said, it’s easy to get disheartened with the scene.

Honestly, if a man says he doesn’t want to marry, that’s fine. He shouldn’t be forced to nor should women try to convince him. Personally, I think it’s empowering for men who have been burned to say, “Maybe I should stay single.”

I’m all for men going their own way, provided that they just stop trolling us online. It is healthier for guys to realize that they are not in a good state of mind for dating than it is to continue to try while they build toxic dynamics.

A lot of men who are economically ready for a family are also not emotionally ready.​


I’ll be honest. There’s something very, very wrong about a very sizable percentage of single men. While some single men are diamonds in the rough who just need the right girl, a lot of them are very…hateful.

Most women have received hate mail, harassment, and threats from men like these in their dating profile inboxes. They’ve also witnessed these guys pick apart their appearance, neg them, and abuse them.

This is not attractive. And it’s increasingly common from what I hear. Women talk, and that often means that women end up backing away from guys as a whole. But, that’s another issue.

What I’m saying is that men who treat women like shit and have zero self-awareness are not dateable. Many of these guys also don’t realize that a six-figure salary doesn’t guarantee you sex.

And sadly, there are more and more of them each day.

Of course, a lot of men who would have been married are also openly pursuing other men.​


In the past, not being a married man carried a MASSIVE stigma. The only stigma that was worse was being gay, bisexual, or trans as a man. In the 1960s, this is the type of stuff that would get you beaten and totally ostracized.

Hell, it still is, in many circles.

Things have still changed in much of the country. Nowadays, men don’t have to marry women just to keep up the look of a straight man. They can be openly gay. They also can marry their lovers.

While this does mean less eligible bachelors for women, this is actually a great thing. We should all have the right to date and marry who we are attracted to, regardless of gender.

The issue of male radicalization also has a serious impact on women’s standards.​


Incels. Nice Guys (TM). Misogynists. Online trolls. The list of men who hate women and who terrorize them goes on and on. And sadly, it’s all part of a bigger movement that’s radicalizing men to hate women.

Women are increasingly worried about men posing a life-threatening, life-ruining danger to them. So, what can they do? They have to protect themselves. So, they do one of three things:

  1. They drop out of the dating scene, deciding that it’s not worth the risk. It’s better to be alone than with the wrong man, and women know they’ll be blamed for “choosing poorly” if they end up abused.
  2. They vet men by pushing standards that are higher than what they were in the past and always keep a way to break up with them available. This means they may ask for standards that have nothing to do with compatibility.
  3. They choose to have cheap sex with someone and avoid relationships at all costs. They may even use a one-night-stand to get the sperm they need to have a baby.
Why am I bringing this up? Well, it’s simple. The higher dating standards become for men, the fewer men will qualify. This pushes guys who would be fine in another time out of the dating ring as a preventative measure.

Let’s look at the 6-foot standard that so many women want. It’s a perfect example of what I mean. This height thing is a symptom of what happens when women notice how many short guys have a chip on their shoulder about them being short.

A lot of short men insult women who won’t go out with them. If women have men berate them for not dating short men, they’re not going to go, “Maybe I should give the guy who just had a mantrum a chance.”

That’s not how women (or anyone logical) would work. No, they’re going to go, “I’ll opt for the tall dude because he’s not going to verbally abuse me for not dating someone shorter.”

Is this fair? Kinda, but it also sucks. A lot of great men I’ve met who would be amazing partners for the right girl are getting overlooked because of it. But once again, I understand. It’s an act of self-preservation these days.

So, what can be done?​


It all comes down to this: women have standards and they’re not willing to budge. Men have the right to determine what they want to do with that knowledge.

Dating is discriminatory by nature. Relationships of any sort are not a given. If men can’t measure up, it’s not up to women to act as charity cases or rehab centers. Men cannot force women to date them or marry them.

This means what men do is on them and will primarily be about how they react to the dating scene today. They can either drop out of the dating scene, work on their mental health, or do something to make themselves more attractive.

So, I suppose it’s time for them to decide what they want to do. Is the juice worth the squeeze? Are they willing to improve themselves?

Only time will tell.
 
The whole "women only want tall men" thing is just plain bullshit.
To be fair, her observation matches mine - that a lot more women have height as a deal-breaker than you might expect, or think is reasonable. It's framed as anecdotal evidence, after all.

These types of articles have many problems. But a big one that runs through this particular one is that, while she acknowledges that maybe women aren't always behaving in ways conducive to finding a partner, she's happy to justify that behaviour repeatedly - but never for men. Even when she says some women treat men like shit, it's just a throwaway line, and she never extrapolates why that might affect men's behaviour. Cause and effect only go one way in their world, and only men are expected to not be affected by previous bad experiences.

This particular article is written by a woman who has seen her friends bitch about dating, and she thinks she's being even-handed by even bringing up that some women might have unrealistic expectations, treat men poorly, or think that they can force men into being what they want them to be. I don't know what's sadder - that she's so mistaken, or that by Current Year standards this is what counts as an even-handed article.
 
Who gives a shit about dating? Dating is pointless, a waste of time and money. You shouldn't date a woman before you think she could reasonably be someone you see yourself with in five years.
Dating did not exist for good reason: courtship was for nobles with money to flash and too many daughters with not enough good neighbors. Marriages were arranged between parents who best knew their children. Sounds awkward, yes, but arranged marriages are far more permanent than what we have now.

And marriage wasn't for love: it was to unite people and create them. It was you doing your duty. There was no leaving your partner because you were unhappy for a brief time. If you are constantly seeking happiness from things, you are going to be miserable, as we see too often these days.
 
Again, they mistook the way men saw players. The respect might be there, but it's not the kind of respect a man values or even wants. Man got pussy. Good for him. It's not like any of his actions produced something positive though. He just got his release.
I've heard women claim: why are there no male insults equivalent to bitch or slut?

Um, asshole and douchebag? I've never heard a woman called those two things.

"Men call each other playas for banging a lot of women!" Um, no, not really. Most men I know don't like men that brag about how much pussy they get. But that also goes to show the kind of men that these women hang around. I can't make Pookie and Ray-Ray be nice to you. I can't make drug dealers and scammers better people because THEN YOU WON'T DATE THEM, which is why "tell men not to abuse women" is pointless.
 
I've heard women claim: why are there no male insults equivalent to bitch or slut?

Um, asshole and douchebag? I've never heard a woman called those two things.

"Men call each other playas for banging a lot of women!" Um, no, not really. Most men I know don't like men that brag about how much pussy they get. But that also goes to show the kind of men that these women hang around. I can't make Pookie and Ray-Ray be nice to you. I can't make drug dealers and scammers better people because THEN YOU WON'T DATE THEM, which is why "tell men not to abuse women" is pointless.
There's just a severe lack of awareness in women. I'm not sure how much is willful ignorance or just plain retardation, but it's counter-productive either way.
 
Third wave feminism focuses way too much on luxuries and encourages complacency. Fourth wave feminism is like a return to actually advocating for women and in turn advocates for laws which help men in abusive situations as well.
Where's this fourth wave you speak of? We're barely getting the third wave to slow down much less recede at this point. Also why the fuck should men take you seriously at all since the whole "equality" lie has now been objectively proven?
 
There is nothing hotter than a man saying "I want a woman I can dedicate myself to and children I will father". Go ahead and say that in an area with lots of women and you will get smiles from ladies.
Yeah, that's a lie unless you're in Church; or even if it is true, per your own words, "you will get smiles from ladies." And that's all you're gonna get, they know what you're interested in and will avoid you.

Who gives a shit about dating? Dating is pointless, a waste of time and money. You shouldn't date a woman before you think she could reasonably be someone you see yourself with in five years.
Dating is what we try to use to determine if they're the kind of person to connect with. We don't do arranged marriages anymore, so people try to narrow shit down by dating.
 
'Twas ever thus. Medieval women were saying the exact same thing:

 
Tbh, I think between the current economic issues young adults of today face and politically charged issues invading hobbies, the dating scene is taking the toll. Everyone is so focused on being right and alienating each other based on the slightest opinions, they can't find common ground anywhere. Just fucking chill, people, and you will find someone who at least tolerates you.
I agreed with this paragraph. The rest of your post was a classic :drink:-able offense.
 
The surgery doesn't preserve your body proportions. Some Indian guy got it and had to get his arms broken and stretched to kind of match up.
A lot of guys who'd get that type of surgery don't realize that. Same way they don't realize their children will still be midgets, since it's unnatural. It's the same type of delusion that makes a woman think she's as pretty as she is with makeup off.

either go all the way for the sake of beating up your rapist demon dad or don't bother at all, fucking simps
 

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A lot of guys who'd get that type of surgery don't realize that. Same way they don't realize their children will still be midgets, since it's unnatural. It's the same type of delusion that makes a woman think she's as pretty as she is with makeup off.

either go all the way for the sake of beating up your rapist demon dad or don't bother at all, fucking simps
Listen! Want to ensure your son is not an eternal manlet? Follow my advice: Milk, lot's of it from the factory dairies. Every guy that was >6' by graduation in HS was crushing at least two pints a day. Swimming: have you seen Michael Phelps' Stretch Armstrong looking ass? It works. Children can swim before they can walk and training is some of the best athleticism they can do. Inversion tables supposedly help too but I never went that far. They are fantastic for stretching a bad back though.
 
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Listen! Want to ensure your son is not an eternal manlet? Follow my advice: Milk, lot's of it from the factory dairies. Every guy that was >6' by graduation in HS was crushing at least two pints a day. Swimming: have you seen Michael Phelps' Stretch Armstrong looking ass? It works. Children can swim before they can walk and training is some of the best athleticism they can do. Inversion tables supposedly help too but I never went that far. They are fantastic for stretching a bad back though.
Just don't be poor and have good gened parents, plebe.
 
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Just don't be poor and have good gened parents, plebe.
Where do you think I'm getting this advice from? I was taller than 6' before I was finished with middle school. Which reminds me of an important tall-strat to share: if you are more than six feet tall and someone asks, you are always exactly six feet tall. Do you really think women can just eyeball height like that? We already know every sub-6' manlet tries to lie to be taller and some will even go above 6' even because it seems more believable in their delusional brains. What can they do then when someone who is "exactly 6'" is visibly taller? Would it really be more believable some psychopath is lying to say they're shorter to BTFO manlets, or some sub-6' scum is lying to be taller? Even if they argue the point and catch you out, you said you were a couple inches shorter for a lark, they started seething and launched an inquisition. You still win even if you somehow lose.
 
This article sounds more like it was written about employers who can’t find good employees and the problems with the employer and employees. It is written with the same wit required to out-Fox a retard at tic-tac-toe.
 
What the actual fuck is 'emotional labour' anyway?
Anything they want it to be. It can be doing the chores, listening to you, her feeling like you're not doing enough, you not listening to her, you listening too much to her, or just you not making enough money to make her feel secure. All of it's bullshit.

Women get off on emotions, so don't even bother. Her acting like it victimizes her is just her masturbating herself even more.
 
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