why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Was suggested some f*male creator on youtube who had a short or something in which she said "If you got a partner before Tinder took off, you caught the last chopper out of 'nam". Basically how it is. Dating has become a separate set of tracks to the rest of life because it takes place entirely on apps, and if you go to a club or event TO date, you're doing the wrong thing. How are you meant to even meet people anymore if not apps? "Stop swiping!". Okay, now what? Hope I bump into someone at work who doesn't work there so I can actually date them?

I've deleted and recreated my dating apps a few times and sadly it's only Tinder that has any quality to it, and you can tell you get throttled massively a few days after having created your account. One time I got several matches and kept receiving likes. Others, even from the get-go, it shows me people indicating it has run out of nearby folk to begin with. Recently I matched and spoke at great lengths with a chick who seemed to check all the boxes, but I realized we did nothing but flirt. No interests or anything resembling real conversation. If you go into dating hoping to find someone to share hobbies with, good fucking luck. If you go to a hobby place to find love, equally fucked.

I'm actually looking forward to dating at an older age. The women are either batshit crazy single mothers who "need no man", or leftover hags who are only slightly daring to hope for love at this point, having transitioned from feminazi to "I guess pink is cute after all" somewhat normal. Though, alternatively, despite them soon being my actual age peers, they still sort of act the same. It's as if a certain age demands a certain personality regardless of generations.

 

[Lidl Drip]

leftover hags

Zero self awareness, eh?

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

I'm actually looking forward to dating at an older age.

What makes you think that you'll become more successful at dating the older you get?

 

[PaleTay]

Turns out, if you don't get married before 30, your choices are severely limited and most of your options are second-hand where fidelity becomes a coin flip. So, the only option left really was to become married to my job, try to keep myself sane with whatever hobbies I enjoy at the moment, and do the most I can to make an impact on those around me.

I don't think it's 30, I think it's more like 22 to date the person you'll marry unless you move to a major city.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

• My own mental well-being, or lack thereof.
• My line of work(on-call, job pool) has a high divorce rate.
• Lack of third party spaces that don't involve getting drunk - Operating heavy machinery at 3 AM and drinking don't mix.
• My hobbies are solo and aren't really the kinds you bond over, never mind that not having a schedule makes having group hobbies harder.
• Dating apps are a scam and geared towards keeping you lonely.
• The kind of women similar to me, namely introverts, are not going out.
• I wholly expect to die in a horrific industrial accident before I hit 45.
• The worst thing that can happen is no longer her just saying "no".

The deck's kind of stacked against me. I don't hate women or anything, I'm just a victim of circumstance.

 

[Trump's Chosen]

"If you got a partner before Tinder took off, you caught the last chopper out of 'nam".

Learned helplessness. Doom messages are inherently infectious and viral because of our negativity bias in hearing news.

People are just atrophying their persistance and social skills. It's like exercise equipment that just sits there and isn't used.

The world is more filled with lonely people than ever before. The challenge isn't finding a buyer, the challenge is helping guide a buyer through the purchasing process, to catch it in appropriately free market terms.

 

[soup peddler]

You're basically limiting your scope to Kiwi Farmers and nothing else.

...Attn: Kiwifarmers of Western NY, let's grab a beer and see how long we can browse stinkditch without projectile vomiting

 

[Nicholas Gur]

Honestly I just don't know how to find racist women.

 

[Yamaha YM2612]

I'm actually looking forward to dating at an older age.

It gets worse as you get older

 

[Picnic_Boy]

It's a good thing I never reproduced. I'm absolutely adamant about the names I'd picked out for potential children, and they are all archaic names that would have lead to severe bullying.

 

[FieldPiece]

I work in a field that is exclusively male and lesbian. I am a very boring person until I know the person isn't gonna tard out when I stop being srs bsnz and actually talk about shit. This generally leads to not interacting with women for longer than a few minutes at most so I just come off as an overly serious asshole. All my GFs have been from school or friend groups. All of which I no longer am associated with.

 

[Skylavijas]

I managed to get more luck than my peers, which ironically ended up making me feel more confused than when I never dated. There is so much discussion and information online about how to get laid with a woman... but almost nothing on what to do afterwards. So far, I had my relationships fall apart for following reasons:

1. Me moving to live in a different country. That one stings the most, because my first partner was a sweetheart and there was no emotional fallout or conflict between us, it's just that long-distance relationship didn't work for us, we both desired close physical connection. We occasionally still message each other and I was even lucky enough to see her once again, but all of the passion and romantic interest... was just not there... Genuinely, my only crime in this situation was wanting to move out of my tiny-ass crappy town and it cost me a relationship.

2. Unplanned one night stand, after which I got ghosted. No clue why they disappeared, didn't even say thanks.

3. This one occurred super recently, I got cheated on. But I guess god has a sense of humor, because I was the one who ended up consoling my ex over text, because they were distraught and overwhelmed with guilt that after the relationship they pursued behind my back didn't work out. They're kind of a mess psychologically, both of us agreed that we're better off separating. I was not angry, just disappointed, because I thought they'd be smarted than this.

What makes this funnier is that I'll have my birthday soon, right on the same month as valentine's day. So far, I don't think I ever had a relationship last long enough to celebrate it. Being a single virgin isn't so bad, because you still hold unto hope that eventually you'll get lucky and this all will get sorted out. Being single after falling out of multiple relationships is truly the worst, because that's when the reality hits you. Yes, I can get lucky... but what afterwards? And even if it does last, there is no happily ever after. Instead of being sad for yourself for being lonely, you get to see somebody you love getting sad or being in pain, frequently due to shit you have no control over, which is honestly just as bad, if not worse. Nobody talks about that. I've experienced only one song in all media that comes close to this feeling and it's entirely in Russian.

Even a long lasting dream relationship where I get to start a family and stuff seems a bit scary. The problem of being in a loving relationship for life, is that you'll live long enough to witness funerals of your girl's parents. That shit terrifies me, because I know that there is no way I will be able to not break down into tears, after witnessing somebody precious within my life weeping over their dead family members and me just standing around, not having any sort of fix or solution to the problem, like some sort of dickless moron.

Funniest thing is, I still want to be in a relationship. Life is pain, but like an ill fleabag mutt, covered in rain water, through all the aching and whimpering, I still want to live to see a bright blue sky again, with warm sun rays caressing my cold shivering body.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

It gets worse as you get older

Isn't saying much when you look at the average millennial (and zoomers going forward) male's experience: Women rather riding cucumbers on onlyfans than entertain their peer 5.8/10 male. Men either simping at the sight of a woman or completely ignoring her, only for other simps to take his spot and thus further enable her ego-driven lifestyle. I caved and joined an "adult" Discord and it was literally the same slop as in my teens. Sure, adults at the end of their education, doctors and alike, but the women were stunted at "I had kids and (do nondescript work) and I'm gonna talk about them non-stop, only interrupted with blurts of blatantly sexual baiting about my past BDSM career or talking about how bad men are".

I do agree it sounds bad if you're hoping to have kids. Single in your mid-30s? Single mother? NOT having kids in your mid-30s? All of those are red flags. Even being a single woman at that point is a red flag, but catching a good chick (which I've had happen recently, somehow) in between partners is also pretty vile. She was very assertive and pushy but not in a bad or "I don't wanna text all day" way. She then let drop that she got out of a relationship 3 months ago, clearly putting all her eggs in the relationship basket rather than find comfort in her own singular lifestyle to which she can add another person later on.

Shit I overheard a coworker say "I was single for 3 years before meeting my husband. I felt like such a loser". Make me remember that good women exist and I'd rather meet one of those every 4 years than pretend to entertain dating apps. Especially given how any random boring brunette in real life can be a 8/10 with a decent smile, whereas even those who are now married wouldn't swipe on each other on dating apps.

 

[Yamaha YM2612]

Isn't saying much when you look at the average millennial (and zoomers going forward) male's experience: Women rather riding cucumbers on onlyfans than entertain their peer 5.8/10 male. Men either simping at the sight of a woman or completely ignoring her, only for other simps to take his spot and thus further enable her ego-driven lifestyle. I caved and joined an "adult" Discord and it was literally the same slop as in my teens. Sure, adults at the end of their education, doctors and alike, but the women were stunted at "I had kids and (do nondescript work) and I'm gonna talk about them non-stop, only interrupted with blurts of blatantly sexual baiting about my past BDSM career or talking about how bad men are".

I do agree it sounds bad if you're hoping to have kids. Single in your mid-30s? Single mother? NOT having kids in your mid-30s? All of those are red flags. Even being a single woman at that point is a red flag, but catching a good chick (which I've had happen recently, somehow) in between partners is also pretty vile. She was very assertive and pushy but not in a bad or "I don't wanna text all day" way. She then let drop that she got out of a relationship 3 months ago, clearly putting all her eggs in the relationship basket rather than find comfort in her own singular lifestyle to which she can add another person later on.

Shit I overheard a coworker say "I was single for 3 years before meeting my husband. I felt like such a loser". Make me remember that good women exist and I'd rather meet one of those every 4 years than pretend to entertain dating apps. Especially given how any random boring brunette in real life can be a 8/10 with a decent smile, whereas even those who are now married wouldn't swipe on each other on dating apps.

How about 13 years?

 

[soup peddler]

It's unbelievably frustrating how having strong moral convictions is looked down on in society, especially among people who went to college. It seems like higher education now just works to turn people into unquestioning liberal drones who buy into completely maxxed out moral relativity and being uwu ToLeRaNt of literal fucking evil. I mostly meet college grads at work and socially, and they all consider being guided by moral principles like completely anathema and just "barbaric Republican behavior"... meanwhile they're living like completely disgusting degenerates. You can't even talk to them, they just turn into toddlers who hear the "no-no words", cover their ears, and cry.

 

[Yezidi Fan Club]

"The most distressing attribute of the modern age is appearing to be naive if one refuses to flirt with evil."

 

[lurkr]

Well I used to follow the advice of "date the woman that you would like your daughter be and be the man you son to become" because I was actually raised well. So focusing on good grades and being in shape (I even rejected parties and girls in high school), only to end up dating "leftovers" in my current mid twenties is demoralizing as hell. Never used dating app, but I'm seriously considering it. I'm good with photography so looking good visually is easy, but I have heard about the "quality" is really bad and I hate the idea of an algorithm used to exploit people being my last resort.

It's unbelievably frustrating how having strong moral convictions is looked down on in society, especially among people who went to college. It seems like higher education now just works to turn people into unquestioning liberal drones who buy into completely maxxed out moral relativity and being uwu ToLeRaNt of literal fucking evil. I mostly meet college grads at work and socially, and they all consider being guided by moral principles like completely anathema and just "barbaric Republican behavior"... meanwhile they're living like completely disgusting degenerates. You can't even talk to them, they just turn into toddlers who hear the "no-no words", cover their ears, and cry.

University is a moral hell.

There it is, there's your problem. Humans are designed to pair bond for life, no matter what you believe in, it's apparent from just looking at their bio-psychic structure (forgive my wording I'm an ESL retard).
Best performing families are statistically those where neither of the spouses had anyone before marriage. By trying to smear the boundaries between knowing and considering each other as potential partners and actually being them, you just end up on a never ending carousel of break ups and suffering. By choosing to view sex as a commodity rather than a testament to your eternal love for your spouse you lose your ability to truly pair bond with someone. The worst thing you can be is someone's "BF" or "GF". No such thing even existed until recently. Being able to divorce at will is also a problem, but it was introduced a patch solution to a greater issue and would likely go away by itself if people suddenly "retvrned to tradition" i.e. stopped being degenerate.
Assblasted whores of both genders will downvote the hell out of my post, but deep down even they know they will never be truly happy, or at least as happy as they could've been if they weren't such retards.

Thought about this too.

The only reason for "dating" as concept is due to contraceptives. Nuking the living shit out of the commitment of what sex really means (having a kid essentially). Not going to iterate every incel meme about virginity, but it is a bigger deal than what people want to admit. The next "best" thing would be to at least "be on the same level", but that's not how dating "logistics" work for men and women the same age. Once you are out of high school, that balance is also completely off too. It's really messed up that it's "already over", statistically speaking for most men when they turn ~20, no matter if you are a complete loser or a "chad" as the meme goes, the options are just not there for you. My naive ass didn't realize that.

 

[used_a_throwaway]

Once you are out of high school, that balance is also completely off too. It's really messed up that it's "already over", statistically speaking for most men when they turn ~20, no matter if you are a complete loser or a "chad" as the meme goes, the options are just not there for you. My naive ass didn't realize that.

I disagree. There is certainly less decent people to choose from today, but I think it's more of a wrong crowd problem, as demonstrated by your quote below:

Never used dating app, but I'm seriously considering it.

Bad idea. Do you REALLY want to live your life with a dating app user?
You're burying yourself a little too soon.

 

[Ethereal Eye]

Aside from having to work a job for the past 5 years where I'm constantly on-call, have no specific schedule and no room to properly plan anything, I just don't see much of a point. Having to gamble on whether or not someone likes me while not knowing whether or not im working the next day is just dreadful.

 

[lurkr]

Do you REALLY want to live your life with a dating app user?

Some girls I thought didn't use those apps did have them installed and it's so common I don't think it's possible to find someone who has never used them. I get the "I was curious" angle, but it's too much of a red flag. To a point, where I might have to do it myself to see what it's all about and get the "experience" myself (even if it sucks as guy).

You're burying yourself a little too soon.

I already feel delusional following my own "standards"/morals if there is nobody else doing it and the years are starting to add up. You are essentially "cucking yourself" (as the meme goes) for something that doesn't exist.