If this was the 1940s or whatever we could still make this shit work
If she has the problems she does, how would being 80 years ago make the relationship sustainable to you?
I empathize with your mixed feelings about ending it with her, but in my experience a drowning person can drown you, too.
You sound like you've resolved this in your mind. And it's going to suck to do it, because you appear to care for her deeply, but breaking it off is probably not going to get easier on either one of you as more time continues to pass. I'll give you the same unasked-for advice as I'd give a woman saying the same things - make your plans (for example, if you're living together, make your plans either to move or to set boundaries on when she needs to move by; if you share any accounts or obligations, start setting yourself up with new ones, etc.) and go. It sounds a little cold to make undisclosed practical plans when the other person doesn't know it's coming, but the neater the separation, the better for everyone...which goes to the next point, which is, if you do it, make sure your mind is made up. Break up/make up just prolongs the drama - and based on your description of her overall emotional and functional state, and depending on your dynamic, there's the potential for drama, maybe pleas or promises or attempts to negotiate. And if, as you noted, you may be a little apprehensive yourself about heading out into the wilderness alone, you may also be sad/ lonely/ hurt after breaking it off (as well as feel bad hurting her)...and that can make it tempting to reconcile or "take it back," but doing that because you're suddenly unattached and uncomfortable, or just feel guilty or sorry for the other person, doesn't usually work out well. Exceptions abound, but, yeah, if and once you
know, it's better for all to make an exit that is as smooth and clean as possible.
Got laid, they became hookup quality while I looked for an LTR.
I did find a suitable candidate for an LTR and she did the "Holding the pussy ransom until she deemed me worthy" thing. Now, while she thought I was being a "good boi" and "waiting" I was still getting regular sex from my hookup gals. I'm not in a serious relationship unless I'm sleeping with a woman
What will the woman who wants a relationship with you need to do to be acceptable?
Genuine autism. I'm in my late 20s and still just as clueless about dating as I was in high school. Which sucks because I found a great girl: homebody, weeb, Asian, game dev, low maintance, aka the perfect woman. We had a casual date at the mall that went well and I think I talked her into watching RoboCop at my place but still haven't solidified the date yet. We last talked Sunday, I left her alone Monday and I think I will text her Tuesday evening and make the plans. Any and all advice would be helpful.
If you have manners and are earnest, honest, reasonable and genuine (but measured/don't be a nut), you will have nothing to regret or be ashamed of, regardless of what happens.
And a date at home watching a movie is a perfectly fine way to spend time/get to know someone - and if that's what you do, it's nice to put in a little effort - take a little time to make your place nice, prepare some good snacks (or plentiful - and even if it's chips and m&ms, put them in bowls :-)) , etc. Dating is both putting your best foot forward and also trying to make a person you're interested in feel appreciated and comfortable. That's not dazzling them with fake stuff - or meting out effort like an accountant. It's not a tally or an equation, done well, and being a good host doesn't mean you're being taken advantage of or should wait for equal and opposite reaction. Be a good host (at home or out), and don't keep a mental spreadsheet.
...and pay attention to her responses and her interests. And if she's hedgy about coming over, that might not mean she's not interested in getting to know you, but that she's more comfortable spending time elsewhere without knowing you well, so maybe think of alternative things just in case (you could get together on a weekend afternoon somewhere outdoors (just an example)).
I hope the date works out and you both have a great time!