Why Phil Is better then you.

darkwingosonichugorl said:
Phil has made around $2 million in the past 12 years while doing little more than sitting on his ass struggling at video games and spamming Youtube poop.
Phil had regular allowance to penetrate Leanna's tight barely legal body.
Phil's luck stat in life is max level.
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We mocked his life build but DSP was smarter than all of us to dump luck...

I think the important thing to remember with most if not all of these situations is that each one comes with an equal but opposite reaction. Sure a lot of Kiwis may not have a home, but they also didn't have to stand before a judge to get bankruptcy while detractors were calling in. A lot of Kiwis aren't married but they also haven't had several unsuccessful relationships scrutinized under the critical microscope of others. A lot of Kiwis dislike black people but they (optimistically) don't have facial spasms when seeing one, either physical or digital.

Phil is quite literally the definition of a monkey's paw.
 
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  1. Is American (greatest country, big ups)
  2. Is Italian
  3. Is Polish
  4. Is white
  5. Epic gamer (highest ranked American in evo, probably ever)
  6. Has a maid
  7. Is super successful
  8. Really nice guy with a large following and a great reputation
  9. Looks so much younger than he is
  10. Has the sweatiest Jpegs
  11. Big baller mansion
  12. Lovely pet (his cat, not his wu-hife)
  13. Stable jahb that's very fun but very hard and I wish I had it
  14. Has a whole forum with people who admire him and create a great community where everyone is free to speak their mind
  15. Cooks the best pasta
  16. Very fit and handy
 
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KingCoelacanth said:
Phil has entire board, but I bet most people here don't even have their own thread
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I do. The attention does get addicting, even if it's for being a lolcow. I think Phil enjoys it to a level, especially since he's made his whole life a heel character where bad attention is still pahsitive attention.
 
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Phil is better than me because he:
  • Pays less taxes than me because he brilliantly writes off gacha spending and everything he buys as business expenses, while I don't know how business works so I can't do this
  • Gets other people to willingly pay the rest of his taxes, while I don't have any fans or friends and have to pay my own taxes
  • Selflessly gave permission to MidFirst take ownership of his first home, while I would never give anyone permission to take my home because I am a self-centered jerk
  • Puts garbage Chinese knock-off companies out of business so they don't continue scamming people, while I continue to support them
  • Works 12 hours a day, six days a week and barely has time to spend with his family, while I only work 8 hours a day, five days a week because I'm just putting in the bare minimum to get a paycheck
 
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ALPHA.jpg

I wish I had his amazing physique...
 
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1. stocks
2. stocks
3. stocks
4. house
5. vacation house
6. wife
7. side gal
8. i still love digiornos
 
I do not have a hazard level high enough to properly Devour(c) like Phil can
 
1) career
2) retirement

It's pretty amazing that Phil has said he is going to do something with his life at some point but has not done so except play stupid games and stream like a lazy retard and generate pennies on a dollar.

Eventually he will be forgotten like the rest of the retards in the world and he will slowly fade away into nothingness. Phil's luck is literally hanging by a tread and he has no resources to bail him out once things deteriorate further in his life.

Phil has no exit plan. No long term goals. He is living day by day doing the same shit he despises.

If that's not hell I don't know what to tell you.
 
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BrokeACKMountain said:
Except for #5 and #6, I can literally say I have equal or better than every single point.

  1. My house is bigger than Phil's and is actually a house and not a condo
  2. I have a wife
  3. I have a second property that I rent out that I haven't needed to surrender in a bankruptcy
  4. My car is worth more than Phil's
  5. I have a motorcycle that has likely travelled more miles this year than Phil has since he moved to Seattle
  6. My job actually khantributes to society
  7. Same as Phil, but not with a horse
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Yet do you make your dough sitting on your backside playing games badly? Phil does that better than anyone.
 
Third_World_Detractor said:
View attachment 1788662

I wish I had his amazing physique...
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Every time I see this picture I am completely blown away that he could lie to himself about being "semi-attractive".
I wonder why his muscles that he still has from bodybuilding don't keep his tits in check....

He makes all that money begging and the man can't spend a single cent of it to get even a single fitted shirt.
 
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