Worst RPG members ever

[Gravityqueen4life]

the one and only.

 

[Red Hood]

Anders, the fag mage terrorist in Dragon Age II
Carth Onasi for his constant whining in Knights of the Old Republic
Veronica, the “quirky“ Brotherhood Scribe voiced by Felicia Day in Fallout: New Vegas

Lilly and Boone are the choice New Vegas henchmen.

 

[Shining Wit]

Odin in FE Fates is useless. Hell, throw Nyx in here too. In Conquest, mages aren't worth shit because most Hoshido enemies have decent or better Resistance. Also, the best Dark Magic tome, Nosferatu, is gutted from Awakening. But Odins statline is naff too on top of that. He's better off using a Heart Seal to become a Samurai

It only gets worse in Revelations, where for some reason, they join at the same base levels as Conquest, except in later maps so they're dreadfully underlevelled on top of being ineffectual
At least Ophelia can be good with some eugenics shenanigans

 

[Spunt]

Blackwall, seriously OP? He has all the dynamism and personality of a park bench, sure, but he isn't Sera, and I would rather spend all 80+ hours of DA:I in the company of 3 Blackwalls than face even 30 seconds of Sera's manic pixie dream elf "quirkiness".

Morrigan is hilarious. The devs must have thought to themselves "just how sociopathic can we make a character and still have sweaty nerds declare her their waifu because she has big tits and dresses in about three square inches of clothing?" and the answer was "John Wayne Gacy meets Idi Amin", apparently.

Aerie from Baldur's Gate 2 is another horribly written "quirky" elf woman too, except she adds an extra layer of whiny self-pity on top of the annoying catchphrases. Anomen is similarly irritating, but at least completing his companion quest results in him shutting the fuck up for the rest of the game - that's important because his build is badly broken and he's a complete beast in combat, being a virtually unkillable tank/healer who gets twice the DPS of a regular cleric as well. Jan Janssen is like that too, infuriatingly annoying but the best thief in the game and a decent spellcaster too. Aerie on the other hand is a shit mage, a shit cleric, has about 2 hitpoints and dies all the time.

 

[Foltest]

Sera in DA:I. I fucking hated her. She was so annoying.

 

[Queen Elizabeth II]

the one and only.

I didn't mind Khimari. I used him more as a Tankier Lulu; and that Stone Breath thing he can do made some boss fights like Seymour 1 a cake walk.

Ones that stood out for me were...
FF1: Thief. No point for this one
FF2: Doesn't really apply to the fixed party.
FF3: All the late game melee classes tbh
FF4: The Bard and Cid. Cid wasn't bad, his custom ability was just fairly meh. The bard was 100% trash.
FF5: Half a dozen classes in here like the Samurai while not bad, were just gotten too late to bother sinking time into.
FF6: Gau, the Yeti. I'd say Gogo as well. He's....useable but by this point in the game you can just beat down anything without having to time your attacks for him to work.
FF7: Yuffie, Cait Sith, Vincent, Red. The latter two are actually somewhat decent, you just get them far too late when your endgame party is fixed. I would add Barrett too because there are characters with better magic stats and just as good physical ones, but there are times the long range attack is nice.
FF8: Quistis. Fate of Blue Mages generally tbh.
FF9: Don't remember this one well enough.
FF10: Rikku and Tidus. One someone else learns steal and haste their stats are so low they become useless outside of the underwater fights. Not counting the 9999 DMG weapons because even Yuna gets one of those. Wakka is only not included because like Barret the long range sometimes helps.
FF12: Baltheir: High HP, nothing else. Doesn't even tank because his defensive stats are comparatively terrible. Penelo would be a second just because despite her high magic she's just that squishy.
FF13: All of them, the game sucks. Don't play it.
FF16: People actually play this instead of the Fujo fanbase only drawing bad yaoi of the cast?

 

[Trump's Chosen]

Blackwall, seriously OP? He has all the dynamism and personality of a park bench, sure, but he isn't Sera, and I would rather spend all 80+ hours of DA:I in the company of 3 Blackwalls than face even 30 seconds of Sera's manic pixie dream elf "quirkiness".

Morrigan is hilarious. The devs must have thought to themselves "just how sociopathic can we make a character and still have sweaty nerds declare her their waifu because she has big tits and dresses in about three square inches of clothing?" and the answer was "John Wayne Gacy meets Idi Amin", apparently.

Aerie from Baldur's Gate 2 is another horribly written "quirky" elf woman too, except she adds an extra layer of whiny self-pity on top of the annoying catchphrases. Anomen is similarly irritating, but at least completing his companion quest results in him shutting the fuck up for the rest of the game - that's important because his build is badly broken and he's a complete beast in combat, being a virtually unkillable tank/healer who gets twice the DPS of a regular cleric as well. Jan Janssen is like that too, infuriatingly annoying but the best thief in the game and a decent spellcaster too. Aerie on the other hand is a shit mage, a shit cleric, has about 2 hitpoints and dies all the time.

All of the RPGs of that era, you can just smell the cheetos on the fingers of the writers as they turn their keyboards orange.

Planescape was a nice escape, but then the characters weren't people, but rather singledimensional puzzleboxes. What they had going for them is that you didn't know everything about them at first glance, even if each of them can be summed up in a single sentence each. At least you had to discover it. Somehow they were still more like people than any of the icewind, arcanum or BG companions.

 

[Dunsparce]

Gilbert from FF4. I've long given up on reviving his ass or even attempting to heal him after a weakass attack. It's a waste of a turn for a man who is constantly in the red, basically contributes nothing to battle, and is barely a party member anyhow. His best contribution to battle wasn't even in an actual battle; it's when he's laying injured in a Troia hospital bed and plays his harp so Cecil and co don't die at the ends of the dark elf.

The funny thing is that in the GBA and PSP versions of the game he can be pretty powerful when you can re-recruit him. He gets a bunch of much better harps and he can deal a lot of damage thanks to that. You can also get an accessory to upgrade his fairly useless sing ability to the chant ability that applies Protect and Shell on the entire party. Also due to how stat growth works in the non-DS versions of the game, it is very possible for him to get 99 Strength.

 

[augment]

About a third of the recruitable party members in Chrono Cross.

 

[MembersSchoolPizza]

Paula, Earthbound. Fucking Mary Sue-level PSI user with zero personality, a damsel complex, and has a Deus Ex Machina power that is useless for the entire game, except for the stupid, oddball hard-coded final boss fight that needs that power.

All of the fallout 4 companions

I liked Nick, at least. And how can you hate Dogmeat?

 

[KokoroKoroki]

Ken from Persona 3

He's too much of a jack of all trades to be useful, Yukari and Mitsuru have higher magic, Junpei and Akihiko have higher strength, Aigis has Orgia Mode and Koromaru has really good agility to compensate for his mediocrity. Oh, and all of them have better move pools as well.

If you need to use insta-kill attacks that badly, you're better off handling them yourself.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

The party members I don't like tend to be physical classes with piss-poor defense and strength that you get late in the game when you already have physical characters that are more powerful.

Edge from FF4 immediately springs to mind. Every time I make it to the endgame of 4, Edge feels like dead weight; he's got worse defense than Cecil or Kain and his damage output doesn't make up for it. I feel as though I spend more time healing him than I do accomplishing anything.

Rikku from FFX, another good example. Her defense is insanely low when you get her and you already have at least three perfectly capable physical fighters. FFX is already asking you to juggle the stats of six other characters, so I end up neglecting her because I've already built up other characters that are far better to use. She has Steal sure, but that doesn't make up for her lack of power and defense.

 

[Wallace]

This obnoxious shitstain.

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

Farkus from Skyrim. He apparently doesn’t understand the concept of stealth and will run up to enemies, aggro them and then lead them back to where you are in stealth thus breaking your stealth and getting you aggroed. It got so bad that me and my friends started an inside joke of just saying “Goddamnit Farkus” anytime something goes tits up in a game.

 

[Cod of War]

Prompto from FFXV, he's annoying and constantly thirsty.

 

[Shining Wit]

Ken from Persona 3

He's too much of a jack of all trades to be useful, Yukari and Mitsuru have higher magic, Junpei and Akihiko have higher strength, Aigis has Orgia Mode and Koromaru has really good agility to compensate for his mediocrity. Oh, and all of them have better move pools as well.

If you need to use insta-kill attacks that badly, you're better off handling them yourself.

On the Persona note, in the original version of P4, Naoto

While the Hama/Mudo is fun, its also worthless for bosses. For bosses, she has Mind Charge/Megidolaon, which is a very nice combo but also very SP intensive, so you'll need to keep loads of SP items for her to be able to keep firing damage at the boss.
Also, her statline is very flat. Which means her damage output is poorer than you'd hope. You'd be better off spamming God Hand with Chie.
The real demonstration of her uselessness? The first dungeon Naoto is available for, Heaven, is the third from last in the game. Her instakills might be useful at mopping enemies, but by the time you get to the boss, you have to then go and grind with another character to get them ready for the fight, or try and use her in the fight too. Kunino Sagiri, the boss, has a phase where he mind controls the party and forces the protag to fight alone while his party attack him. Enjoy Naoto shooting instakill spells at you if you bring her along

At least Shadow Naoto in Ultimax is amazing to the degree of being filthy

https://youtu.be/5Wg-T77Tjzw

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

- Gau from FF6 was also pretty terrible for a party member, and I never bothered to level with him because I couldn't stand his style of fighting (think beserker, but used the fighting style of monsters).

You sir are very mistaken, however in the realm of Final Fantasy

Kimarhi and Quistis.

Blue Magic is not a fucking LIMIT BREAK.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

How could I forget, Loid from Mother 1. Mediocre attack power, shit defense, no PSI abilities, about the only thing he's good at is using battle items. What makes it worse is that for a brief period of time you get Teddy, who absolutely stomps all over Mt. Itoi and is bar none the best party member in the game, but then he gets injured and you're stuck with fucking Loid again for the final stretch. The areas you just went through as Teddy are way harder with Loid. Storywise, it's cool to see Loid grow a pair, but in terms of gameplay it's annoying to lose the strongest character in the game and get stuck with objectively the worst one.

 

[Lonely Grave]

FFTA - Ezel. Highest magical power growth in the game, but locked into one class and none of the spells he knows can do any damage. Even his signature Azoth spell (target all enemies, 50/50 chance to inflict sleep) is easily beaten by an Animist spamming Sheep Count. Truly useless.
FFTA2 - Al-Cid, the only gun-using Hume in the game, and again locked into one class with middling growth. Abilities scale on the number of female characters in the party, and most of them are pretty useless to begin with.
Advance Wars 2 and beyond - Olaf. Snow isn't that debilitating and his SCOP is beaten by Drake's in pure power. Plus he's an annoying, grumpy Santa Claus clone who is somehow in charge of not-Russia.

 

[DiceindaMirror]

Well that explains my lackluster expierience, as I only played the PS1 version of FF6.

Gau can also use the Rafflesia rage (GBA version, I forgot what it was called on the SNES/PS1 versions) to charm most (all?) bosses!