Write a scary story in two sentences

[Fatboi Gus]

Christine opened the door. "Mother, I'm back!" She ravenously exclaimed.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

You log into Kiwi Farms, and notice it redirects to a picture of Kevin Gibes' Am Hole.

You log into telegram and are greeted with a message that begins "The website known as Kiwi Farms has been seized by Liz Fong-Jones..."

 

[Johann Gambolputty...]

It's 11:15 pm and I'm all geared up to watch a cheesy movie. But I can't find the weed.

 

[Forsaken Wanderer]

Help. I have the urge to say nigger on Twitter but I will be banned.

 

[Begemot]

@WelperHelper99 woke up, joyously he realised he had been taken in space in time to meet the Prophet Joseph Smith. Now he was trapped in the upper floor of a Jail in Carthage, Illinois and angry shouting was coming from the street below...

 

[Johann Gambolputty...]

"Hi, I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. Would you have a seat right there, please?"

 

[Chromeo]

Wow, Chromeo thought, I could really go for some strawberries right now! But it was too late, they molded in the fridge.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

I had just finished nutting in my girlfriend after a brutal fucking. After a voice weakly whispered "oni-chan...", I realized I had no girlfriend and this is my sister's room.

 

[Adamska]

You groggily get up to take a shit, eyes sealed shut and a pounding headache from last night. As you continue to revive, you've just realized you somehow thought the sink was the toilet bowl.

 

[OvercookedBacon]

Following the advice of some random person on the internet, you decide to go outside and literally touch grass.
As you take in a deep breath of fresh air, feeling invigorated and wondering why you don't do this more often, you don't notice until it's far too late that you stepped barefoot right into a fire ant bed.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Beyond autistic eyes. More like arachnid.

 

[Phoenix Connexion]

New Zealand orchard being outright accused of housing autistic cyberterrorists. They gangsta until Phoenix Connexion, Arctic Avengers etc have literally joined the farming community.

 

[Sober the Serg]

“I love petting my cat” I said to myself as I turned on the lights.

Turns out my cat was sitting at the other side of the room, I was petting the hairy ballsack of the killer clown that wants to kill me

 

[Spectre Saren]

Found an article for sale.

"Dildo. Barely used"

 

[rel=alternate]

If there is one certain thing about life, it's death. You could die an hour from now, or tomorrow, or next year.

 

[TapewormSalesman]

You finally reach your vehicle, when abruptly the realization that your right pocket is feeling suspiciously light strikes you, and, as you instinctively move your hand towards it, the confirmation makes your heart skip a beat. Slowly, you turn back and the vast expanse of the forest once again looms over you, the descent of twilight making it grow ever darker by the minute.

 

[Ser Prize]

You wake up. You're still in Canada.

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

"Hello saar. I am your new neighbour," said Pajeet.

 

[Thé au lait]

"Niggers could be here. I've never been in this neighborhood before, there could be niggers anywhere!"

 

[Adamska]

You're about to nut after a long wank session. The door in front of you opens.