Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[Aegeus]

It knows...

The gibberish composed by that AI is still more cogent than anything that Chris ever posted on Twitter.

 

[Optimus Prime]

I think Jail gets basic cable and clear CRTs.

Do they also get Netflix? Because the movie was a Netflix exclusive.

 

[Sugar Tits Magee]

I'm really not liking this progressively wooyer minimization of him raping Barb. Now it's become a Devine Mission of Healing and Yikes. Will someone get a fucking counselor to see this guy and explain to him that whatever the fuck he was actually doing with his mom was completely fucked up? If anyone actually believed that crap was even possible he wouldn't be IN JAIL. Is this a preview into his actual court defense against raping his mom?

"Yes, your honor, I believed that though cuddling, canoodling and sticking my bent duck in her I was healing her mind, body and soul. I believed this because she told me I was a better lover than my dad!"

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Man now that Chris has limited contact he can now write the funniest shit ever in the form of these letters. Seriously so much shit in this letter like demanding Biden to pardon him, and having imaginary play times with Randy Stair

 

[camopattern]

I still can’t figure out if he legitimately believes all this or has been told they’re trying to get some insanity defense so he’s playing it up. Unfortunately it’s probably the first option.

Chris can't plead insanity because his own words have proved without doubt that he fucked his mother and he was fully aware of what he was doing. His justification for it, cleansing her soul etc, only further proves that he did it with intent. Insanity requires you to prove you were not in capacity at the time of the incident.

He can be as batshit as he wants to try and get out of prison but the court case can only judge him on his actions at the time of the offence.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

Aw, and here I thought Chris was considering himself a JERK again

 

[Ira the Weatherman]

He's likely picked it up from British TV it's used here quite commonly for things like sweets, small toys, etc in relation to kids.

It's more likely the result of his general consooming rather than specifically British stuff. 90% of his time is spent purchasing and playing with toys and video games and other trivial shit, and "goodies" is a pretty common term with both irl stores and vidya distribution platforms.

Chris has always gravitated towards using a childish and effete vocabulary, so it makes sense that he would adopt the gayest-sounding term to describe something.

It's really not that Chris is insane, but he is stupid enough to believe his own bullshit. It's feats of self defeat like this, that make him who he is.

Yeah, the whole, "is Chris faking or insane?" question is a moot point, because it's clearly not a simple binary thing with him. There's a lot of layers to this weirdo.

He's completely delusional and spun a fantasy narrative to make the world suit his psyche, but he's also lucid enough to lie constantly while seeming to be aware of the fact that he's lying, and that he needs to covering up something wrong. He's developmentally stunted and rigid in his thinking but has shown himself to be suprisingly flexible when it comes to integrating certain new patterns of behaviour, so long as they benefit him in some way (e-begging, social media, the commissions). He thinks cartoon characters are alive, there's a seperate dimension and that his body's a vessel for a god, but he really needs his legos ASAP!

Chris' warped mind is like one of those diagrams with the overlapping circles. You've got his autism and all that it entails, the fantasy delusions coping mechanism, his ego and sense of entitlement, his stupidity and gullibility, his utter inability to admit fault, his emotional nature and desire for sex, possibly some compounding mental illnesses to boot... and a tiny hint of rational self-awareness showing its presence occasionally, just underneath the surface. All these elements interplay with eachother and make up Chris' psyche and motivate his decision-making and actions, sometimes one more than the others.

The fact that you can't easily define Chris is what makes him so fascinating and the subject of endless speculation and discussion. If he was just your run-of-the-mill manic schizo he wouldn't be remotely as interesting, because reading complete gibberish gets old real fast (see: Pam). Instead, every single thing he does makes you question the extent to which it was intentional, unconscious or spurred on by his delusions.

 

[Kiwi Kitty]

I guess our bud Ricardo is gone, all that's left is Sonichu

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Chris still doesn't understand what he did to his mom is serious business, and that it's best to keep anything regarding her low key or don't bring attention to it, but Chris loves attention, so fuck it.

It almost seems like Chris has becoming a bigger self entitled asshole since he went to prison.

The main thing I get from this is that Chris is terrified something will happen to his toy hoard. The possibility that it might go is the one thing that's gotten through to him, to the point he brings it up twice by asking people to help Barb pay the mortgage and then the ranting about how no one has permission to take from it and it better be untouched when he gets out. This makes me want to see the hoard go even more than I did, the tard tantrum would be amazing.

Unfortunately I think there's a good possibility the toy hoard will hang on. Barb is one of those tough old Southern bitches that lives forever and sustains their lifeforce on spite, she's going to be around another 15 years probably.

People forget that Barb's thrown out stuff of Chris's before when he's left the house for extended periods of time. I highly doubt Barb's going to be maintaining his toy hoard, especially if she finds out that Legos and other stuff are worth a LOT of money. I wager all his trans/lgbt/bullshit stuff like posters and flyers have been taken down.

I think Chris understands that Barb will do that and the only way he can do anything to keep his shit is to send people over there to tell Barb not to touch his shit.

View attachment 2613827View attachment 2613828

lol fucking CALLED IT. He's gonna be in there just long enough to join the caliphate. Praise Be Unto Chris!

View attachment 2613831


ETA:

I think Chris doesn't understand it's a Muslim prayer rug. He gets introduced to "religious stuff", and sees "prayer rug" and thinks it's just a rug you say prayers on, for any kind of god.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

These letters get more and more quotable

Jail of Fail was also fucking hilarious lol!

Chris is at his best when people provoke him, his accidental humor flourishes at these situations!

Chris can't plead insanity because his own words have proved without doubt that he fucked his mother and he was fully aware of what he was doing. His justification for it, cleansing her soul etc, only further proves that he did it with intent. Insanity requires you to prove you were not in capacity at the time of the incident.

He can be as batshit as he wants to try and get out of prison but the court case can only judge him on his actions at the time of the offence.

This looks a bit like another of Chris's retarded plans, courtesy of his narcissism and his dumb ass. He probably thinks that an insanity plea would get him absolved just like in the movies, so he is pretending to be crazy and acting like Jesus. Except even a fucking retard could see through this and he is just getting himself in more trouble by giving free evidence to the prosecution lol!

It almost seems like Chris has becoming a bigger self entitled asshole since he went to prison.

Not at all unexpected, just like with entitled beggars. Being in the dumps, like in prison or homelessness messes with people and brings out their inner demons, just like literal beggars who believe they are entitled to charity from random strangers, Chris' narcissism only got worse once they put him on his personal hell, a locked space with nothing for him to do, no toys, little to no contact with his "fans", nothing!

 

[Ser Ciappelletto]

I'm leaning more towards Klinefelter's, to be honest. It explains everything far better than autism- Chris' personality, body type, sexual deformities, and lack of social skills, fucked up development, it's all there.

I know the adage "think horses, not zebras," but the zebra makes too much fucking sense.

Chris sent his DNA into a geneticist and it came back XY.

CWC Ancestry - CWCki

sonichu.com

 

[Kiwi Kitty]

I think Chris doesn't understand it's a Muslim prayer rug. He gets introduced to "religious stuff", and sees "prayer rug" and thinks it's just a rug you say prayers on, for any kind of god.

Definitely not. Chris is a fucking retard who was raised by retards (one retard tried more than the other, granted), he has no perception of the world outside of his childhood and now prison

 

[BullyHunter01]

I'm leaning more towards Klinefelter's, to be honest. It explains everything far better than autism- Chris' personality, body type, sexual deformities, and lack of social skills, fucked up development, it's all there.

I know the adage "think horses, not zebras," but the zebra makes too much fucking sense.

Yeah I don't think so. Klinefelterboys don't really produce much sperm if they do at all. This guy can filled up bottles with the stuff for various humantiarian purposes and more importantly for protein supplementation with his meals.

 

[WorldsSmartestManRonOTool]

Kind of barely skimmed it, since his word salad ramblings are boring to me, but LOL at this piece of trash taking a break from his latest narcissistic fantasy roleplay to ask for money. It's like a commercial in there.

 

[BullyHunter01]

but

I personally disagree.

In an alternate timeline, I see Chris living a pretty relatively normal life, one that could've been attained with only a few changes.

Early on, Bob and Barb learn of their son's mental and medical issues and instead of lying to Chris, they commit to being better parents- they seek out help. (which, even in Virginia in the 80s and 90s, wasn't uncommon) Bob is a more stern but more understanding father, raising his son from Greene Elementary and graduating from the county's school district, but actually deservedly on the honor roll. Since the administration doesn't have to deal so much with Chris' tirades, he's given passage. Chris speaks with a therapist biweekly, and as he gets older, sorts out his sexual frustrations. He also does well at PVCC- making a name for himself as a pretty good CADD student, even making Mary Lee Walsh's Dean's List, and the two remain on good terms. Chris lands a decent job, and since he's more emotionally balanced and was taught boundaries and rules, the internet becomes a passing interest. Maybe he draws Sonichu as kind of a parody of internet subculture, and we would get a chance to laugh with Chris, not at him. Because of the fact Bob controlled Chris better, the house isn't a complete disaster and the Chandlers live a healthier life. Bob lives til around 2015-2019, and dies, leaving behind his stamp collection. Maybe Chris even gets lucky and gets married, having a few children.

Sometime in this alternate 1980s, a bear mispronounces Chris' name. Instead of a name change, Chris corrects him and says, "um, it's Christopher."


I was speaking more as to Klinefelter's as a standalone disease but since the comorbidity does exist...

then around the age of 60 Chris is pulled over for driving too slowly past a park hosting a picnic for an old folk's home. the officer notices a strange smell in the car and searches the trunk, where he finds the body of a missing teenage girl. an investigation is launched resulting in the discovery of nearly 40 bodies of teenage girls in various stages of decomposition buried in his backyard. I hate to break it to you but this story would never have had a happy ending. no amount of good parenting is going to turn a mother fucker into a stand up guy.

 

[Ser Ciappelletto]

He's likely picked it up from British TV it's used here quite commonly for things like sweets, small toys, etc in relation to kids.

It's also an older American expression. My gran used to use it.

 

[BullyHunter01]

do we know if Chris is in general population or protective custody?

 

[Aegeus]

Chris' narcissism only got worse once they put him on his personal hell

I've noticed that Chris gets more egotistical and proud the more he fails.

You would think that defeat would humble someone and remind them of the fact they are flawed.

However, it does the opposite with Chris, and the more he fails and fucks up his already completely and utterly wasted and totally unsuccessful life, the more arrogant he becomes.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

View attachment 2613942

Aw, and here I thought Chris was considering himself a JERK again

He's insane. His delusions should be met with vigorous mocking and hospitalization.

Kind of barely skimmed it, since his word salad ramblings are boring to me, but LOL at this piece of trash taking a break from his latest narcissistic fantasy roleplay to ask for money. It's like a commercial in there.

"Something, Something, Call Joe Biden and thr Virginian Governor they know me."

"Something Something, give me and Barb money. I will return to 14 BC suddenly to rape again".

"This has been a divine test of the Sonichu Broadcast System".

"Something, Something, I did nothing wrong. I just healed my mother with my spear of longinus.

It's also an older American expression. My gran used to use it.

You mean your Nan.


The DA should be alerted that he's been making thinly veiled threats to return to 14 BC.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Aw, and here I thought Chris was considering himself a JERK again

Chris is still egotistically and autistically focused on his full name though.

Notice how he never calls himself just "Chris"? Nah, it always has to be a full name.