Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[Uncle Meat]

I don't know what world people live in where they think a guy can rape his dementia riddled mom and the will jury feel sorry for him and send him to a group home for his own good. In my world, no one feels sympathy for a person like that for any reason. I can't think of any use for mitigating circumstances except to cut down his sentence a little.. Jail is where a person like that belongs and it should be for years.

Chris is going to get from Bubba exactly what he gave Barbara. I don't care how stubborn he is. That is going to teach him a lesson.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

I don’t think he even has it in him to do the retarded version Philthy’s into.

If Chris was into Antifa (And not in jail) he’d probably just go to protests and make a beeline to any pretty young girls there.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

If Chris was into Antifa (And not in jail) he’d probably just go to protests and make a beeline to any pretty young girls there.

Antifa and Pretty two words you don't often see in the same sentence.

 

[Ophelia]

I don't know what world people live in where they think a guy can rape his dementia riddled mom and the will jury feel sorry for him and send him to a group home for his own good. In my world, no one feels sympathy for a person like that for any reason. I can't think of any use for mitigating circumstances except to cut down his sentence a little.. Jail is where a person like that belongs and it should be for years.

IF he goes before a jury, which the legal kiwis say is unlikely. The defense wants to avoid a trial because Chris is doa, the prosecution does because trials are expensive and Chris’s case can be handled without one. (Among other reasons the experts have detailed)

Pieces of shit get off easy all the time. Usually in New York and California, but it happens.

 

[weegrumpy]

nah it was meant to represent just how messy and tangled his religious views are

(a pile of yarn would also work)

Imma dumb sorry matey. and I agree he makes shit up as he goes. Already said, I can’t wait for mohammedchu

 

[Procrastinhater]

So I am guessing all that moral-fagging seen with The Gunt and Faith is somehow exempt here in this case?

Remember Gunt is an obnoxious red neck alcoholic with a scat sniffing fetish that groomed a retard. He's also got the mind of an adult, albeit a bitter vengeful spite filled one, and Faith is both young and extremely immature. That's what makes it creepy, Gunt was obviously being predatory, and rubbing the Fathers face in it made him look worse.
Chris is a sick fucking pervert but he's also emotionally probably younger than Fiona that's why I think theres not as much moral fagging over the age difference.
Plus it never actually happened between Chris and Fiona, whereas Gunt stuck his thumb up Faiths asshole and posted the sniffenning for the whole Internet to see.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Can someone please tell me how or point me to where I learn how to vote stuff as Islamic Content

Lurk moar.

Fr it's the on the like post button. If you're phone posting hold the like button for a second you'll get the other options, Islamic, Autistic, Winner etc

 

[Cask of Amontillado]

Chris holds a lot of grudges about people he tries to simp off of, and ProjectSNT hasn't really contacted him, despite his and other people's insistance that she does. She kind of knew no good comes out of getting into lolcow drama, no matter the situation. At best, she was more collaterally related to him, and not an active participant in Christory.

Oh, and as for that Lightning Bliss thing, lightning_bliss already condemned Chris to damnatio memoriae. The answer given above explained it. They don't want Chris' name mentioned ever again and they tried their best to distance themselves from him.

 

[AfghanBlue]

Don't even have to change Rape Me.

don’t even have to change heart shaped barb!
‘throw down your umbilical noose so i can climb right back’

 

[OkiiManko]

I don't know what world people live in where they think a guy can rape his dementia riddled mom and the will jury feel sorry for him and send him to a group home for his own good. In my world, no one feels sympathy for a person like that for any reason. I can't think of any use for mitigating circumstances except to cut down his sentence a little.. Jail is where a person like that belongs and it should be for years.

Chris is going to get from Bubba exactly what he gave Barbara. I don't care how stubborn he is. That is going to teach him a lesson.

Here's some mitigating circumstances:

- He won't shut up about his crimes yet he isn't charged with rape. They are backwoods types at the foot of the Appalachians - there's a culture of inbreeding there.
- Barbara not only failed to set boundaries as a mother but forced Chris to do gross personal stuff like pick scabies out of her ass and share a bed with her. Chris' grasp of the incest situation is eerily similar to that of a student who sleeps with his female teacher - he thinks it's love but she just wanted to enjoy herself
- Chris is slightly out of touch with reality and it is cruel to sentence something so pathetic to big boy prison. Compare a video of 10 years ago to now and it's obvious.
- Even when not acutely psychotic, Chris has the mind of a child. When most people first hear of Chris, they see the pre-idea guy trolling as cruel bullying.

Dementia doesn't turn you into a zombie like Beggar Barb plays on stream, instead your mind goes in and out. She's been cleared to live by herself and to drive, something they wouldn't give to a vegetable, At the very least she'll be functioning during the morning and if she sundowns then everything becomes more terrifying, including non-consensual sex with your son.

They fucked every three days, if she wasn't into it she could and would have easily said something while the banging wasn't taking place. "No more massages, Chris. We made a mistake". What evidence do we have of rape? Chris's retarded retelling of the situation to a full-blown psychopath who was creaming her undies at his confession. Ask any couple how they hooked up and they won't say "it was love at first site" - one of them had to convince the other.

This is a matter of two creepy weirdos sharing mental illnesses, and devolving into more deviant behavior as dementia and thought disorders lower inhibitions to the point where latent incest becomes overt.

Stop fantasizing about a retard getting fucked up the ass, it's weird.

 

[drtoboggan]

Someone should point Ezekiel 23:20 to Chrissy. That would really tickle his bent pickle.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Someone should point Ezekiel 23:20 to Chrissy. That would really tickle his bent pickle.

If he finds that it will blow his mind and he'll wrap it into his ponyverse crap as some form of justification for his actions.

 

[A Flying Nun]

My new headcanon is that Jesus Christ was actually a time traveling super wizard that impregnated his own mother, the Virgin Mary. This is why she wasn't aware of her impregnation and who the father is, and this is also evidence that Jesus and Chris are the same person because they both banged their moms. Flawless reasoning and you can't tell me otherwise.

Also it implies Jesus would both be immune to the effects of those brains from Futurama since Fry was immune due to being his own grandfather.

 

[Professor Iris]

View attachment 2614251
this part was the funniest imo

Truth be told, if Jesus was some unapologetic, mentally deranged rapist that declared himself a God for taking advantage of his ailing mother, I'd have given Judas his 30 pieces of silver, too.

Ironically, the comparison isn't actually too far off. Like Judas, Null refused to condone Christ-Chan's actions any longer, and 'betrayed' him by reporting him to the police. Also, pieces of silver were, at some point, part of the equation.

We should all be thankful that no 'kiss of betrayal' occurred here, not that Chris would resist the opportunity just like at TooManyGames.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Truth be told, if Jesus was some unapologetic, mentally deranged rapist that declared himself a God for taking advantage of his ailing mother, I'd have given Judas his 30 pieces of silver, too.

Ironically, the comparison isn't actually too far off. Like Judas, Null refused to condone Christ-Chan's actions any longer, and 'betrayed' him by reporting him to the police. Also, pieces of silver were, at some point, part of the equation.

We should all be thankful that no 'kiss of betrayal' occurred here, not that Chris would resist the opportunity just like at TooManyGames.

For Chris, it would have been the hand job of betrayal.

 

[CerealKilla420]

There's a reason why you don't hear about inmates trying to escape or start full on riots to take over the prison and break out en mass. The days of sufferings behind bars, with only the most basic of needs getting met, while being pretty much forced into hard unpaid labor as seen in cool hand luke, and escape from Alcatraz are long over.

Inmates these days have pretty much all their needs met, they have access to everything from video games to tvs, to books, prisons have movie nights, art programs, vocational training hell even in some places inmates can take free college courses that cost thousands of dollars to ordinary people and yet prisoners take them on the taxpayers dime. About the only thing they can't fully access is the internet and even that is rapidly changing. They are allowed some monitored access and barring that, smuggled phones are becoming more popular than smuggled drugs or weapons in the system.


Tying this back to Chris it just shows that no matter where he ends up, save for an institution. (depending on what, kind if they plan on holding him indefinitely and if it's a facility for the criminally insane) Chris will be fucking spoiled. He'll sit in his cell all day refuse to go out for any meals or exercise, and if he goes to protective custody he may even get his personal shower to use, so there goes this sites fantasy of him being prison shower raped.

This is a very true, honest, and also good post.

I just wanted to add that this is not only true for Chris. Wards of the state have honestly never had it better. You have ppl like Yang calling for UBI but the UBI futurism he champions already exists, but only for the lowest of the low in society. The rich spoil themselves, the wards of state caste get spoiled by the system.... Only the middle class gets fucked... We are seriously at a point where it almost seems as if they either want you to be fabulously wealthy or have nothing...

Maybe it was always this way...

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

People may disagree with me, but I see Chris as obviously gunning for that insanity plea. The whole letter is "look at how crazy I am" with a side dish of "look how much I love my mother and want her to be provided for", or in other words, basically what Heilberg's argument is going to be - that Chris is mentally unstable yet cares for his mother. Probably more for use during plea negotiations than actually at a trial, since I would bet $100 this will never actually get to that point. It's just damage control.

 

[Pvt. Real G]

Meatballs from banquet dinners? Who the fuck had invited Chris to a banquet before?

 

[Optimus Prime]

I don't know what world people live in where they think a guy can rape his dementia riddled mom and the will jury feel sorry for him and send him to a group home for his own good. In my world, no one feels sympathy for a person like that for any reason. I can't think of any use for mitigating circumstances except to cut down his sentence a little.. Jail is where a person like that belongs and it should be for years.

Chris is going to get from Bubba exactly what he gave Barbara. I don't care how stubborn he is. That is going to teach him a lesson.

Chris won't be doing time once a verdict is reached because frankly, the most violent thing he's done (assuming the rape charge doesn't come through) is the 'release of chemicals' or whatever the legal phrasing was for him macing the gamestop employee. There was the Snyder-hit-by-a-car thing but ultimately that got leveled on Barb instead. I would expect at this point he will be at the very least sentenced to a supervised release and barred from ever seeing Barb again, which will inevitably end up to him getting in trouble with the law because short of physical obstacles, nothing is going to convince Chris to not go back to 14BC to see his mother and of course his toy hoard.

Really, Chris is such a non-threat to anybody except his own mother that short of the psych eval labeling him as dangerously unstable (which isn't an impossibility, he did take a knife to his own crotch twice), it would be in everybody's overall interests to not have Chris be locked up and waste space necessary for actual hardened criminals, any more than necessary.

Meatballs from banquet dinners? Who the fuck invites Chris to a banquet?

Banquet is a brand of microwave food in the US.

 

[Rapechu]

Chris and communism do not mix. There is no way in hell he would willingly share with anyone.

He is the perfect communist. Nobody becomes a commie because they want to share what they have with others; they become a commie because they want others to share what they have with them, by force.