Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Wernology]

Hey Mallon Place Creep, the time is getting closer when your mother and stepdad will be parting in Mexico. They will be taking their dogs. While the dogs will be taking walks on the beach, you will be rotting at Mallon Place.

I bet it just eats him up that they love their dogs more than him.

After all, they make sure their dogs have a home and food and are content to let Lucas struggle eternally.

 

[Svetlana Helsinki]

He's really on some horned up incel shit tonight isn't he? The meds could only hold back the tide of sexual frustration for so long before it comes rushing back. Horned up angry Lucas makes some of the best content. A welcome change of pace after all this boardgame nonsense.

Agree, but only so long as he keeps it to the internet and doesn’t unleash it on some poor unsuspecting girl on the street or nurse at Mallon.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

It gives new meaning to the phase 'beaten at your own game.' I mean lucas created the concept, designed the board, created the rules, taught the game to others and still manages to lose, which must be infuriating to him, after all its all about creating a situation he can control when he makes these games and must remind him of how much of a fuckup he is to not only lose but lose to a medicated, half out of it sped who barely understands the existing rules himself and still manages to outmaneuver lucas

It's funny because a few of Lucas's overly complex games do have easy, short ways to win (case & point, Squonk).
It's like he makes them so complex just to add a bunch of random schizo insiprations, then forgets to weight them into a game.

Lucas losing at his own game is hilarious not because he made it, but because it's clear he can't understand the strategy to play it well despite his ego.

Game designers lose to other people in their own games all the time, that's not an issue. It can show deeper depth than the creator possessed, a difference in luck, or can reveal imbalanced design. Lucas' game actually does have enough potential depth to be engaging. However, he lost because he's bad. He lost because he's incapable of foresight and adaptation. He lost because he's stupid that you can play solitaire at the same time as you out smart him.

Game designers lose to other normal people. Lucas lost to a medicated sped lol.

 

[SteveGoatman]

The airline found baby Itsnotinthecards and the baby was adopted by a loving couple. The adoptive father is competent, functional and productive with a good job that will provide well for the child.

ETA:
Here is another time the Greedy POS was seeing $ signs, thought he hit the jackpot with a millionaire bae.

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I know the answer is autism and that he's a Lolcow....but HOW does he fall for the LA catfish saga after this, AND the catfish that led him to Spokane?! Like HOW OBVIOUS could it be that this is bullshit? A girl he's never met just happens to fulfill everyone of his fetishes (teen, Bernie supporter, rich, willing to take care of his every need etc) and wants to get married, but only meet in person on the day of the marriage ceremony? I mean....sweet Jumping Jesus....

 

[mothman96]

I know the answer is autism and that he's a Lolcow....but HOW does he fall for the LA catfish saga after this, AND the catfish that led him to Spokane?! Like HOW OBVIOUS could it be that this is bullshit? A girl he's never met just happens to fulfill everyone of his fetishes (teen, Bernie supporter, rich, willing to take care of his every need etc) and wants to get married, but only meet in person on the day of the marriage ceremony? I mean....sweet Jumping Jesus....

Greed $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. The LA girl was a millionaire too.

 

[WonderWino]

I bet it just eats him up that they love their dogs more than him.

After all, they make sure their dogs have a home and food and are content to let Lucas struggle eternally.

Not to mention they bothered to fully housetrain the dog but not lucas. He does tend to piss in the sink at times after all. Simpsons predicted lucas when left to his own devices to party perfectly:

 

[mothman96]

Hey Mallon Place Creeper, that day will never come because a "future wife" does not exist. You will die alone.

 

[IceQueen]

The current Lucas is boring. He hasn't mentioned telomeres in a while. Earlier, he had commented how he now does not want kids. This was a big part of selling himself to the baby zooms. That his sperm was magic and would produce super babies through stronger baby DNA from his jizz.

Now he just brings up his schizo board games and the elk kingdom. I miss seeing him screaming and mooing in the streets and singing such tunes as "Bad Broker B" and "Love and Respect Them Bitches".

That Lucas will be back. He always cycles through periods like this.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

I know the answer is autism and that he's a Lolcow....but HOW does he fall for the LA catfish saga after this, AND the catfish that led him to Spokane?! Like HOW OBVIOUS could it be that this is bullshit? A girl he's never met just happens to fulfill everyone of his fetishes (teen, Bernie supporter, rich, willing to take care of his every need etc) and wants to get married, but only meet in person on the day of the marriage ceremony? I mean....sweet Jumping Jesus....

Desperation. Autists are usually the opposite of Chris Chan, sabotaging any possible opportunities.

I wonder what Lucas is really thinking when he falls for these things, though. We know he's paranoid and aware people fuck with him constantly. I suppose it may be as simple as Lucas really does believe he's plenty good, and is long overdue for a rich Gen Z hottie to lavish him.

 

[Pump Meat]

I know the answer is autism and that he's a Lolcow....but HOW does he fall for the LA catfish saga after this, AND the catfish that led him to Spokane?! Like HOW OBVIOUS could it be that this is bullshit? A girl he's never met just happens to fulfill everyone of his fetishes (teen, Bernie supporter, rich, willing to take care of his every need etc) and wants to get married, but only meet in person on the day of the marriage ceremony? I mean....sweet Jumping Jesus....

I think it is the simple arithmetic of Lucas’ narcissism plus his low level of intelligence.

Lucas decries the contemporary standards of society (“GREED!”) but at the same time seething that he doesn’t meet those same standards (“I MAY BE IN AN ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY, BUT WE CAN HOT TUB AT MY DAD’S PALATIAL ESTATE). When the catfish come to bottom feed in his DMs, it provides him an opportunity to believe that there is some kind of objective bar of “desirable bachelor” that fits his atrocious lifestyle.

He believes deep down in that sclerotic heart of his that he deserves a child bride who has the body of a fifteen year old but with the advanced mothering instincts to care for him like a nurse's aide while allowing him to enjoy the excesses of an upper middle class existence (which he thinks is “rich”).

That fact that he is just plain fucking dumb further inhibits his ability to detect insincerity and obvious attempts to manipulate him. For all intents and purposes he is a vulnerable adult, but one so loathsome and easy to dislike that only people being remunerated will advocate for him.

 

[SupSilver]

Gee, that couldn't be a flat bill hat on Mr Hypocrite Werner could it?

Edit:
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I think he meant "dime", but it's true either way. Sounds like all that medication is having trouble tamping down that anger, too

Formerly Sneeds

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas is as important as a doctor:

 

[mothman96]

Lucas is as important as a doctor:

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Well then, why is the Mallon Place Creeper going to the hospital to get his rotting feet treated. He should just check out some memlords and laugh at his rotting beetus feet.

 

[Trayvon Fartin]

Hey Mallon Place Creeper, that day will never come because a "future wife" does not exist. You will die alone.

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Nigga she just hasn’t been born yet.

 

[Da Dude123]

Oh, your cash app is empty, is it, Tubby? Well, that's too freaking bad! Ask your wealthy parents to give you money. You talk about their vast wealth. Ask them, Dr. Nigga Luke! Go ahead, you fat nursing home patient!

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas is as important as a doctor:

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Well then, why is the Mallon Place Creeper going to the hospital to get his rotting feet treated. He should just check out some memlords and laugh at his rotting beetus feet.

Also, just once, it would be nice if Lucas could say "Hey guys: I am as important as a doctor!" instead of trying to sneak his message past people, as if we can't all tell that when he says "memelord" he means himself.

It's just like "40-year-old guys should be with 18-year-old girls!", when he really means HE should be with an 18 year old girl.

You're not that slick, Lucas.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Lucas is as important as a doctor:

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That makes sense for someone who doesn’t listen to their doctor about losing their feet to beetus

 

[Da Dude123]

None of them are claiming to be "eco marxists". The dumb cow just has to categorize groups of people because he is very simple minded. Cars are not some magical thing. Many young women have them. Many working poor people own a vehicle.

He is so jealous of others. He knows he will never be able to own a car and that upsets him.
And he just thinks it is preventing him from getting with the eco marxist baby zooms. They are all a bunch of eco marxists and Bernie Sanders loving communists. That is what he thinks.

 

[Twrx]

Speaking of his parents dogs, and Suzanne taking the cats when she filed a protection order against him, what is he like with animals?

 

[mothman96]

Speaking of his parents dogs, and Suzanne taking the cats when she filed a protection order against him, what is he like with animals?

The Creep is abusive to cats. In 1 of Goldoar's podcasts the Creep let out that when he still lived with his mother she had said something to him about being mean to her cat. There is a post by someone here who was in a cat group with Suzanne. In reference to the Creep Suzanne said the Creep being mean to her cats should have been a red flag.

I would not trust the Mallon Place Creeper with animals period.