Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Jack of the Lantern]

Is it me or did mushbrain start to complain a lot about others driving too fast ever since he lost the ability to drive? I think the fat man is really afraid of Big T dying in a traffic accident while en route to have some burger refunded because the store forgot the sauce. He is terrified that when it happens, he will be thoroughly fucked living by himself.

While he might have some level of awareness of how much he needs Tammy to continue his parasitic lifestyle, I think it could be that his strokes might have (as we all know) just fucked up his brain.

Strokes can damage visual acuity, reaction time, and ability to judge distances, so he actually might be perceiving other vehicles as moving faster, behaving more erratically, and appearing in his field of view more unexpectedly than they really are. And when that information passes through his boomer filters he gets angy because "the world is full of selfish, unchristian jerks." Or he's just filled with the basic impotent frustration of a coddled manbaby.

 

[MasterDisaster]

I think Tammy encourages his shitty eating because this is just a waiting game. Another stroke will either do him in or leave him comatose with any luck and then she'd be free. Divorcing him would actually work against her at this point because in some states there's a 'standard of living' clause; she's been the sole breadwinner for so long that if they split she'd have to play him alimony to maintain the lifestyle he's used to.

 

[AnOminous]

While he might have some level of awareness of how much he needs Tammy to continue his parasitic lifestyle, I think it could be that his strokes might have (as we all know) just fucked up his brain.

Strokes can damage visual acuity, reaction time, and ability to judge distances, so he actually might be perceiving other vehicles as moving faster, behaving more erratically, and appearing in his field of view more unexpectedly than they really are. And when that information passes through his boomer filters he gets angy because "the world is full of selfish, unchristian jerks." Or he's just filled with the basic impotent frustration of a coddled manbaby.

Any explanations of Jack's behavior always have to address the fact he has literal brain damage, specifically, parts of his brain are literally dead, just chunks of cottage cheese floating in the nearly useless organ his brain is. His brain literally has big dead parts in it, because they were deprived of oxygen when the huge globs of fat floating around in him randomly clogged some blood vessel.

So he has quite literal brain damage, and if you watched this fat son of a bitch from a while ago, you can even compare today Jack to classic Jack and see a shocking picture of cognitive decline.

 

[salmonellajack]

Should Mushy be in the back yard alone? If he fell off the deck he'd roll down that hill and into the woods.

 

[MasterDisaster]

Any explanations of Jack's behavior always have to address the fact he has literal brain damage, specifically, parts of his brain are literally dead, just chunks of cottage cheese floating in the nearly useless organ his brain is. His brain literally has big dead parts in it, because they were deprived of oxygen when the huge globs of fat floating around in him randomly clogged some blood vessel.

So he has quite literal brain damage, and if you watched this fat son of a bitch from a while ago, you can even compare today Jack to classic Jack and see a shocking picture of cognitive decline.

He's not a spring chicken anymore as well. He's been making supbar videos for 10 years and still under 500k subs. At 1600 plus some videos and a middling following he's never gonna be Youtube famous unless you count infamous. It's surprising to see a video hit the 100k's.
On the other end you've got someone like Andrew from Binging with Babish with 9 million subscribers, 400+ some videos and all in a fraction of the time.
Too big a name and not fair to Jack? Ordinary Sausage. Been around 3 years, 259 videos at this time and 200k more subscribers than Jack.

Jack lacks pizazz. He's got no niche. If he'd had embraced his shittiness and rolled with that he could be well known for deliberately fucking up dishes for a laugh but he genuinely believes he has a talent to share with people.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Jack lacks pizazz. He's got no niche. If he'd had embraced his shittiness and rolled with that he could be well known for deliberately fucking up dishes for a laugh but he genuinely believes he has a talent to share with people.

It's even baser than that with the old bastard. Jack wants praise and accolates, nothing else. He is a textbook Cluster B parasite who needs to be told what a special boy he is. He saw youtube as a ticket to success precisely because he had no understanding of how content creation works and how much effort is truly required. Every choice Jack has made in his life has been in accordance with his perception of the path of least resistance. All his life he has looked for the easy ticket, but never had the intelligence to actually make it work, were he even capable of understanding any abstract interaction.

 

[Skurtman]

It's even baser than that with the old bastard. Jack wants praise and accolates, nothing else. He is a textbook Cluster B parasite who needs to be told what a special boy he is. He saw youtube as a ticket to success precisely because he had no understanding of how content creation works and how much effort is truly required. Every choice Jack has made in his life has been in accordance with his perception of the path of least resistance. All his life he has looked for the easy ticket, but never had the intelligence to actually make it work, were he even capable of understanding any abstract interaction.

Yeah, Jack wanted to be known as the "lazy man". Too bad he never realized even that would require effort he wasn't prepared to expend. He had several chances of success but he took a bite of it, but since success isn't KETO he just threw it away.

 

[MasterDisaster]

Yeah, Jack wanted to be known as the "lazy man".

My grandpa used to say 'A lazy man works twice as hard to do nothing'.

 

[Random Internet Person]

View attachment 2875972
Gimmie my islamics

View attachment 2876081

View attachment 2876323
Still frame from their sex tape. He eats out Tammy at the 4 minute mark. After that, he sticks his limp arm in her floppy cooter and tries wearing her like a puppet.

What's with this guy and trying to stick his tongue out like Gene Simmons?

View attachment 2890892

How much fast food is this fat tub of shit going to inhale before the weekend is over?

All of it.

My grandpa used to say 'A lazy man works twice as hard to do nothing'.

And then the "lazy man's cooking" proceeds to have more steps than the regular cooking in some cases.

 

[the khat quaffer]

I'm sure the ripples of Jack's faggotry are still flowing around in the church culture. He has made himself into an asshole. And while cults don't mind if you're an asshole to anyone outside the cult, in this case, Jack has specifically picked a fight with the cult.

Cults don't deal with this well.

They'd probably watch in horror/disgust as Jack downed drum after drum of Kool-aid without collapsing. Jim Jones would have been convinced Jack was the devil himself.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

Did you know you needed a Tammy in your life? I didn't.

That was actually sweet of him. If only he tried to show more respect to his wife by actually working on improving himself!

You could always get a job and help them out you lazy fuck

If Jack took some time to see the perspective of the youth he would see things aren't as easy as they look on paper, but I agree it would be nice if Jack tried to get even a menial job to help with his househo

And then the "lazy man's cooking" proceeds to have more steps than the regular cooking in some cases.

Precisely, and often things look much harder than they are!

My guess is Jack has an aversion to actually try to properly do things, he looks for shortcuts to an extreme and ends up cooking monstrosities like his "sous vide" omelettes instead of frying them like a normal person would, which isn't really hard, just looks laborious if you're trying to cook them the french way (lots and lots of stirring). It feels almost pathological!

 

[GinnyPotter]

Jack's starting some sort of daily devotional thing that's just incoherent babbling.

"Garbage in and garbage out."

Sounds like his trips to the bathroom.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

View attachment 2896691
You could always get a job and help them out you lazy fuck

But... that makes sense? If lots of places are hiring then the market is in favor of the workers giving them more negotiation power. They could get better jobs and/or negotiate higher salaries than at whatever shitty fast food/retail place they work. That's why those places specifically are having hiring problems.

I know it's a bit much to expect logic out of fatty doo doo, but he's confused by something that makes perfect sense.

here's my latest cooking with jack video
it's called "stuff you probably don't want to eat"
it probably looks ghastly
i'm probably going to undercook the meat
and it's my excuse for a job that makes you no money
#desperatefame

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I know I'm a couple pages late, but no one pointed this out.

"Shake something you don't want to see"
Jack doesn't want to see young attractive women shake their tits and ass. It's one thing to say tik tok thots are degenrate sluts, but he specifically said he doesn't want to see it. Those are two different statements with very different implications.

I thought the closeted gay jokes were just that, but this is too strong of a Freudian slip.

 

[rubytintedchix]

"Garbage in and garbage out."

Sounds like his trips to the bathroom.

Or his stews.

 

[Skurtman]

For Jack it's more like "Stew in and chili out"

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Does this shit actually work? I thought the entire point of keto was to cut out sugar entirely to force your body to go into ketosis and burn fat off instead of muscle during the calorie deficit. Now it just seems like a way for fatties to claim they're sticking to a diet but not have to put the willpower in.

Yes it can work but you need to put in the effort. It's not just "eat all the protein and fat you want". There's more to it than that but assholes like Mushbrain here just figure they have to up the protein and fat and eat less carbs and they're fine. Problem is that works against you as your 20g of carbs a day are supposed to come from the natural carbs found in foods. Like a handful of almonds are good when you're on keto as a kind of snack. There's like 5g of carbs in only 20 almonds but part of that is fiber and there's only 1.2g of sugar.

Mushbrain would be the kind to get a bag of almonds from Sam's Club. Fill up a small bowl of them and eat them all in one sitting thinking that they're fine to eat because keto.

You need to work on your portion sizes, take certain supplements and above all you need to be active during these times. Being a sedentary lump like he is means he's only getting part of the benefits from such a diet. And then he sabotages himself by smashing half a burger into his maw. That right there kicks him out of ketosis and he needs to go through the entire startup process again.

tl;dr: He's an idiot.

There’s always Grubhub or DoorDash if he can get Tammy’s credit card off of her lifeless corpse (provided she dies in a fog-related car wreck). The worst case scenario for Jack would be if there was a fiery wreck and the credit card somehow melted. Fatty would starve.

So you're saying there's an upside to Big T dying in a crash.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

It would be fascinating to watch his quality of life evaporate in the event of Tammy's untimely demise. My bet is he will blow his cripplebucks on takeout.

 

[captkrisma]

It would be fascinating to watch his quality of life evaporate in the event of Tammy's untimely demise. My bet is he will blow his cripplebucks on takeout.

It would be like watching Nikocado, but much, much, sadder. Because of the stroke arm. That dead fucking arm.

 

[Dollar Store Sentai]

Yes it can work but you need to put in the effort. It's not just "eat all the protein and fat you want". There's more to it than that but assholes like Mushbrain here just figure they have to up the protein and fat and eat less carbs and they're fine. Problem is that works against you as your 20g of carbs a day are supposed to come from the natural carbs found in foods. Like a handful of almonds are good when you're on keto as a kind of snack. There's like 5g of carbs in only 20 almonds but part of that is fiber and there's only 1.2g of sugar.

Mushbrain would be the kind to get a bag of almonds from Sam's Club. Fill up a small bowl of them and eat them all in one sitting thinking that they're fine to eat because keto.

You need to work on your portion sizes, take certain supplements and above all you need to be active during these times. Being a sedentary lump like he is means he's only getting part of the benefits from such a diet. And then he sabotages himself by smashing half a burger into his maw. That right there kicks him out of ketosis and he needs to go through the entire startup process again.

tl;dr: He's an idiot.

To take this a step further: Keto isn't a diet as much as it is a complete food lifestyle change. While on it you are taking in a large amount of fat and protein (and leafy greens for your other vitamins and minerals that a lot of people forget when talking about it.) meaning cheating on the diet is very dangerous and unhealthy. It is also a diet you can't just stop when you hit the weight you want, you have to ween yourself off of it and even then to keep the weight off you have to limit carbs to an extent. (Fast and sloppy keto puts you at 20 carbs, Weened off at your target weight only bumps that to 50-60 to maintain.)

Not to mention carb cramps if you take a cheat day in heavy ketosis, it is not a fun experience.

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

Is this another Tiktok thing?