Chris turns 40

[Hogar Grupal]

?


I think that's why the delusions are getting stronger: he's fighting that off.

Well, that being the case, not surprisingly: Chris is screwed. What else will happen is up to anyone's guess. Will this be the year Barb goes to meet Bobchu? Has aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom already made arrangements to sell 14 BLC? No matter how many delusions Chris can conjure from his swiss cheese brain to keep his spirit up, he'll end up spiraling down.

 

[The Un-Clit]

No amount of coping can save Chris from knowing he's turned another year older, this time behind bars. If there's a shred of self-realization left in Chris, he must be feeling depressed, sad and crying that he isn't celebrating his birthday, or at least annoying Charlottesville with his presence as he goes to any and all establishments being that one person who goes "guess who's birthday it is?"

I'd like to think that Chris would take the time to ponder his situation and reflect on why he's sitting in a jail cell all alone on his 40th birthday.

But this is Chris-Chan. If he had any capacity for accurate self-analysis and empathy, he wouldn't be the alpha shemale of lolcows for eternity that he is.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

spiraling down

The "BEST BIRTHDAY EVER" is now 22 years ago.

The difference between his 40th and then is like night and day.

I'd like to think that Chris would take the time to ponder his situation and reflect on why he's sitting in a jail cell all alone on his 40th birthday.

After Chris reflected on his crappy 21st birthday, he began the "Love Quest".

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I'd like to think that Chris would take the time to ponder his situation and reflect on why he's sitting in a jail cell all alone on his 40th birthday.

But this is Chris-Chan. If he had any capacity for accurate self-analysis and empathy, he wouldn't be the alpha shemale of lolcows for eternity that he is.

I'm probably naïve/too optimistic to think Chris can change during his 40 years of life. Alternate scenario if he wasn't in jail: Probably writing a long FB how he's still lonely despite have a polyamorous relationship, albeit made up.

I don't know if jail staff are allowed to give Chris any greetings, but I'm thinking Chris has a lot in his commissary account (thanks weens/enablers). The sad fact is he can't spend it with anyone, and that has to be killing his ego right now.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I'm probably naïve/too optimistic to think Chris can change during his 40 years of life. Alternate scenario if he wasn't in jail: Probably writing a long FB how he's still lonely despite have a polyamorous relationship, albeit made up.

I don't know if jail staff are allowed to give Chris any greetings, but I'm thinking Chris has a lot in his commissary account (thanks weens/enablers). The sad fact is he can't spend it with anyone, and that has to be killing his ego right now.

He'd be giving us "subtle" hints about he's happily spending it with his older "girlfriend" before giving Barb a special birthday surprise.


You know I'll bet his crying in his cell right now thinking back to the last time he ever really enjoyed his birthday. The one where he was surrounded by cute girls, enjoying birthday cake, unwrapping new Dreamcast games and Legos, and capping it off watching good burger.

Which would sound kinda cute if it was his 8th birthday not his 18th. And yet in hindsight even that would be better than rotting away in jail waiting for the court to decide what to do with him.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

I'm just thinking about his future message video from back in '07 on his 25th birthday. I just watch it and think: "Where did it all go wrong?"

Spoiler

It went wrong from the start and just keep spiraling downwards for 40 years.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Anyone who tells a kid that is fucked in the head, and if high school was your best years, your life was worthless and you should jump in a tar pit. Kids in that period of life should be told truthfully that it gets a fuckton better later.

Plenty of people who peak in high school still live long and fulfilling lives. For those people, high school was best because they had few responsibilities, tons of sex with whoever they wanted, and a good start to a life that may not be as exciting but is still rewarding. Think of the captain of the football team that wasn't good enough to be a pro player, but still got to bang the entire cheerleader squad and think back fondly on it later while living their perfectly normal, pleasant, but unremarkable married life as a well-paid tradesman, making sure their wife and kids are taken care of.

Their best years were in high school, but that's okay, because they still got to live a good life. Just because the early years were better and more fun doesn't mean the later ones have to be *bad*.

Chris is not one of those people.

 

[Tikbalang]

The whole gods and merge thing is a part of his mid-life crisis.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Aside from the enablers, weens and whatever white knights are left to stake their reputation giving Chris his b-day greetings, the only one who care are the Farms. Other than maybe Barb, there's no living person Chris knows longer than a few years that is willing to send something or write Chris something today. I'd be surprised if someone like Megan or even Cole would send a card to the jail.

 

[Shibaru]

I'm just thinking about his future message video from back in '07 on his 25th birthday. I just watch it and think: "Where did it all go wrong?"

Spoiler

It went wrong from the start and just keep spiraling downwards for 40 years.

I thought the same thing too; How the hell DID we get to this point?

 

[Open Window Maniac]

I thought the same thing too; How the hell DID we get to this point?

Autism, bad parenting, and unfettered Internet access.

 

[AnimeGirlConnoisseur]

I kind of wonder if Chris would have had a come to Jesus moment if someone could have shown him 20 years ago where his life was right now.

 

[AnimeGirlConnoisseur]

Autism, bad parenting, and unfettered Internet access.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Edit: I'm really serious about this. People like Chris deserve to be treated with intelligence and nuance when discussing them, but if you were to put a gun to my head right now, place a Venn Diagram in front of me that had those three factors as circles, and instruct me to find a saga or some fuck-up that didn't fit into any of those three circles, then I would be shit outta luck.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

Plenty of people who peak in high school still live long and fulfilling lives. For those people, high school was best because they had few responsibilities, tons of sex with whoever they wanted, and a good start to a life that may not be as exciting but is still rewarding. Think of the captain of the football team that wasn't good enough to be a pro player, but still got to bang the entire cheerleader squad and think back fondly on it later while living their perfectly normal, pleasant, but unremarkable married life as a well-paid tradesman, making sure their wife and kids are taken care of.

Their best years were in high school, but that's okay, because they still got to live a good life. Just because the early years were better and more fun doesn't mean the later ones have to be *bad*.

Chris is not one of those people.

Compared to other major events in his life, for him his high school was probably one of the only places he was tolerated and kind off had a peaceful and bullying free time there, despite the fact that he didn't really have any friends and the gal pals were paid to hang out with him.

His academia was not that important, he had no other major responsibilities to worry about since Borb did most of that, his home life at that point was okay and he hadn't publicised his presence on the internet yet so he was effectively a happy man child nobody who could blend into the background in fashion square mall without drawing too much attention to himself.

Basically his high school years were only good to him because acting like himself couldn't really be punished unless he was acting like a nuisance in front of his teachers/peers (that would not be the case with his college years of course) whereas when he was supposed to transitioning into an adult, he'd been coddled and lightly disciplined for so long that of course his high school years would seem like the only stand out years in his life because people weren't going to tolerate his childish bullshit any longer, but for him that's not saying much.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Autism, bad parenting, and unfettered Internet access.

I wish someone would ask Chris to his smug, fat face, if Borb were bad parents for raising him. I'd like to see his reaction that doesn't involve merge/goddess/Jesus/pony BS.

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

I kind of wonder if Chris would have had a come to Jesus moment if someone could have shown him 20 years ago where his life was right now.

At least he's had his "I'm Jesus" moment.

 

[Ser Ciappelletto]

I wish someone would ask Chris to his smug, fat face, if Borb were bad parents for raising him. I'd like to see his reaction that doesn't involve merge/goddess/Jesus/pony BS.

Chris unironically believes himself to be an autism success story. He wouldn't understand the question. Just look at "Rita Jackaras" the autistic person he included in Sonichu who can barely form coherent sentences.

 

[A Grey Cat]

blend into the background in fashion square mall without drawing too much attention to himself.

Could have but he ultimately chose to make himself stand out like a sore thumb, what with his ridiculous stripped shirt and sonichu medallion and then later with his embarrassing love quest attraction sign.

Between that, his awful webcomic and the way he screamed at children when they beat him at Pokemon matches at the game place is it any wonder he ended up on something awful, then encyclopedia dramatica and ultimately his own wiki and these very forums?

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I hope the common room has a DVD of Good Burger.

 

[A Grey Cat]

The worst part about birthdays? They end too soon. The big 40 like time itself has come and gone with about as much fanfare as anything Chris does while behind bars.