Prison Letters (5/8/22 + 6/1/22) Two New Chris Jail Letters from Helena Fiorenza

[Ophelia]

It's possible that prisons doesn't allow inmates using phones for anything, so I guess that Chris will never heard about the newest announcement from them. Chris will just shun himself in misery and quietness inside his cell.

He’s not in prison and has used the jail phone in the past.

Seething himself and doing nothing. All is well.

 

[Cuckoman]

I do. Barb has enough money to pay for the house. Chris wants back inside his love nest.

I am sure he wants that.
I am absolutely certain that when he is released he will be banned from ever going back to Barb or the house. Not that he will obey that of course.
But once he finally realizes that he can never go back there (without being arrested) there will be a chimpout like no other.

He can't remain in jail forever. He can not be allowed to go back to the house. No relatives or friends will take him in.
What are they going to do about him?

 

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

He can't remain in jail forever. He can not be allowed to go back to the house. No relatives or friends will take him in.
What are they going to do about him?

You don't think some lunatic wouldn't invite Chris into their lives, thinking they could exploit him somehow? I do, and I don't think there's a shortage either. Besides, the state generally doesn't give a shit. There's a reason why most homeless people are also mentally ill or infirm.

 

[Chazzed Up]

This might be a dumb question/statement, but how many weens truly have the ability to give Chris somewhere to live? It seems like him being taken in by weens is a possibility people suggest a lot, but from what I have seen it would appear many of the people who still try to fuck with him aren't exactly the types I expect to have real estate for Chris to stay in. A lot of them are on the younger side and/or live with parents. So it would have to be someone functional enough to have money and therefore a home, but also crazy enough to want to live with a potentially dangerous retard who contributes nothing to household.

The only people I could see taking him in would be possibly a Youtuber, but it would have to be someone without a wife/girlfriend or otherwise someone who's fine with having an autistic tranny with no boundaries around said wife/girlfriend. Has Kengle offered to let him live with him yet?

 

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

This might be a dumb question/statement, but how many weens truly have the ability to give Chris somewhere to live? It seems like him being taken in by weens is a possibility people suggest a lot, but from what I have seen it would appear many of the people who still try to fuck with him aren't exactly the types I expect to have real estate for Chris to stay in. A lot of them are on the younger side and/or live with parents. So it would have to be someone functional enough to have money and therefore a home, but also crazy enough to want to live with a potentially dangerous retard who contributes nothing to household.

The only people I could see taking him in would be possibly a Youtuber, but it would have to be someone without a wife/girlfriend or otherwise someone who's fine with having an autistic tranny with no boundaries around said wife/girlfriend. Has Kengle offered to let him live with him yet?

Kengle, as you mentioned. Though, the two are apparently not on the best of terms. Sockness is another, also not on good terms. The question isn't if adult weens/a-logs exist. It's whether they'll make a move, now that Chris has very few supporters, and whether Chris will be desperate enough to allow it. I don't see anyone but the whitest and most obsessed of knights defending/helping him at this point.

That leaves the gutter trash, of which there's never been a lack. Main thing holding those folks back is that Chris was, in a very real sense, sheltered by this site. If someone fucked with him, they'd get doxed and punished through the consequences. I don't know about you, but if I read that he got bilked I wouldn't give a shit anymore.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

This might be a dumb question/statement, but how many weens truly have the ability to give Chris somewhere to live? It seems like him being taken in by weens is a possibility people suggest a lot, but from what I have seen it would appear many of the people who still try to fuck with him aren't exactly the types I expect to have real estate for Chris to stay in. A lot of them are on the younger side and/or live with parents. So it would have to be someone functional enough to have money and therefore a home, but also crazy enough to want to live with a potentially dangerous retard who contributes nothing to household.

The only people I could see taking him in would be possibly a Youtuber, but it would have to be someone without a wife/girlfriend or otherwise someone who's fine with having an autistic tranny with no boundaries around said wife/girlfriend. Has Kengle offered to let him live with him yet?

I know for a fact that Caleb from Praetor won't take Chris in (like you said, younger side) and would only sell shitty items via Etsy including the drawings straight from jail.

 

[NaggotFigger]

He’s not in prison and has used the jail phone in the past. Seething himself and doing nothing. All is well.

Ah, I forgot. Looks like I should catch up better. Glad to see Chris doing nothing after jail.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

I know for a fact that Caleb from Praetor won't take Chris in (like you said, younger side) and would only sell shitty items via Etsy including the drawings straight from jail.

He'd need some rich/wealthy orbiter looking for clout, they're obviously not a dime a dozen but if Chris makes a big charade about asking for a place to stay (if doesn't get go return to the temple, get kicked out social housing etc.) inevitably on his twitter or YouTube channel then someone would come to his aid, not sure how long the potentially upcoming caretaker saga will last, the homeless saga seems like a far more inevitable and likely fate for him in the end.

 

[Jason Wynn]

He’ll find no shortage of enablers willing to house him if he makes his way to Portland or Seattle. He’d be positively low key compared to the degenerates that live in those cities.

 

[Tikbalang]

It was only a matter of time when Chris admitted to finding this character "harem-worthy". He apparently liked the character enough to put in his comic lore, and admits to finding him attractive.

Helena once made an R34 comic after Chris said that He and Pickchu can be friends with benefits.

I like how he changed his confession to "it was just cuddling snuggling, cheek and forehead kisses". Anything to throw Mommy Dearest under the bus and him to come out on top as the most goodest Goddess ever.
Barb taught him well in that regard.

Asking Chris "did you fuck barb" will end up answering no. He has to ask very specific questions like "did you put your hand or fingers at her vagina?"

No gonna lie, the mental image of multiple employees holding down a 40 year old Chris in tard rage is hilarious.

Also my information on Jesus is as standard as anyone else, but I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't sue people, call people lovers, or shit, go into a tard rage. LARP harder, Chris.

According the book of CWC chapter 12 verse 18

The Messiah at his last hours of the hospital and a nurse sayeth "Patient Inmate Christine Chandler, ye art travel back to thee jail". The Messiah shows the anger of a god. The nurses and guards restrain the Messiah as they show their maniac laughter. As the Messiah find his freedom, he asked his mother Emmanuelle "Why hath you forsaken me?". The nurses who restrains the Messiah uses the guns that shoots lightning and a poison that has a sleeping magic.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

He has to ask very specific questions like "did you put your hand or fingers at her vagina?"

This is actually legal, provided that Barb did not refuse consent, and provided that Chris did not tell Barb he was healing her (as opposed to claiming he was healing her after the fact).

There is no statute in Virginia against incest hand jobs/fingering. However Chris lying about it being for healing without Barb explicitly consenting to be healed in this way would constitute sexual assault (of ANY person Chris claimed to "heal", not just Barb).

 

[JulioVasquez]

the homeless saga seems like a far more inevitable and likely fate for him.

While I agree homelessness is both likely and definitely deserved, a part of me hopes he winds up living with a ween somehow, purely so we get more content.

I’m not sure we’d get a homeless “saga” as such, it seems more like he’d become homeless, we’d get a few months or years of silence, and then a formal death notice from local media, if they could even be bothered.

Though if he could somehow make tardrage videos while homeless, that would be the best of all worlds!

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

He'd need some rich/wealthy orbiter looking for clout, they're obviously not a dime a dozen but if Chris makes a big charade about asking for a place to stay (if doesn't get go return to the temple, get kicked out social housing etc.) inevitably on his twitter or YouTube channel then someone would come to his aid, not sure how long the potentially upcoming caretaker saga will last, the homeless saga seems like a far more inevitable and likely fate for him in the end.

He is the Teflon Tard after all.
I agree that the Homeless Saga will happen inevitably, all roads will lead to it.

 

[Ophelia]

I’m not sure we’d get a homeless “saga” as such, it seems more like he’d become homeless, we’d get a few months or years of silence, and then a formal death notice from local media, if they could even be bothered.

Though if he could somehow make tardrage videos while homeless, that would be the best of all worlds!

It might depend on where he’s homeless and he would definitely need someone willing to help him with things like obtaining a phone. The state of the tugboat is another variable.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

He is the Teflon Tard after all.
I agree that the Homeless Saga will happen inevitably, all roads will lead to it.

I dunno, Chris loves his creature comforts as shown by him not willing to spend a single night out in his car and as much as he loves a good sperg out if he's got the option of a comfortable room or living on the streets I'm sure he'll behave himself just enough to not get kicked out of wherever he's staying.

 

[kendraObscura]

he should be released to Jackob Sockness as his ward

 

[HenryKissiger]

These letters were extremely thin, that you cannot see them from the side. The best thing we can do for Chris Chan is send him a bumper pack of a specific kind of diapers. He will sorely need them when he's released and realizes he's not going back home with the rest of us. We should also send some Lucky Love Star Soaps (only $4.99) and VeggieTales DVD / I Love Lucy DVD* / Frasier DVD** as a gesture of goodwill.

* Expert mode only
** Master mode exclusive

 

[Jason Wynn]

These letters were extremely thin, that you cannot see them from the side. The best thing we can do for Chris Chan is send him a bumper pack of a specific kind of diapers. He will sorely need them when he's released and realizes he's not going back home with the rest of us. We should also send some Lucky Love Star Soaps (only $4.99) and VeggieTales DVD / I Love Lucy DVD* / Frasier DVD** as a gesture of goodwill.

* Expert mode only
** Master mode exclusive

Don’t forget to yell JULAY!!! at him. Make sure you record it so everyone knows just how masterful your trolling prowess is.

 

[Clownery]

"Pickchu, on C-197's Earth, remains a valid prophet, himself, and a harem member"

im sorry a W H A T?

 

[Ophelia]

"Pickchu, on C-197's Earth, remains a valid prophet, himself, and a harem member"

im sorry a W H A T?

Sometimes it really hits you that everything about Chris is ridiculous. I’ll try to translate.

Your OC in my dystopia universe is a prophet and we be fuckin