Careercow David Bixenspan / Bix / davidbix / davidbixagain / CactusBix - Pro-Wrestling "journalist" who thrives on trying to end careers, Took money intended for people who do actual work, Drooled all over a girl's arm

[AskeDead]

if anyone was on 420chan's /wooo/ board maybe like 10 years ago you can find some cows on there. i think kirtaner might already have a thread on here. kirt and spardot effectively killed that place but in its time it was a cesspool of liberal retardation

 

[Not Jewish Wario]

Bix doing lots of Trans simp in retweets.

 

[trolol]

Here's Bixenspan starting the rumor by claiming it wasn't him. No one really acknowledged it before that. Since this is such an in joke with some wrestling fans, and he gets very mad and annoyed when it's discussed, I somehow don't believe he's telling the truth. Even if he is, it should still be noted as a thing people make fun of him for.
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Someone posted a picture of him in the wild walking the streets of NY on /asp/ and it definitely looked like he could be wearing a diaper under his pants. Also had on the same shirt he always has on, dude must smell so bad.

 

[FlipDip]

Someone posted a picture of him in the wild walking the streets of NY on /asp/

Need this photo dude! LOL Big Foot in the wild type shit.

 

[Henry Mitchell the PI]

Oh look here he is discussing the Vince McMahon sex scandals...

 

[Lucas Silva #4903141]

First of all, thank you to the OP, top notch work with the intro. I heard about a chunk of this stuff, but having it all in one post was very convenient, and I even learned some new things about Bix. Kek, what a bitch.

Wrestling journalism might be a bit of a niche topic for some, but make no mistake, everything this retard does is lolworthy. I get the sense that Last and Cornette have a lot more dirt on him, but are saving it for the next time he tries something with them, which might be never if he's actually learned anything. Love the matter-of-fact "He is Jewish".

Jeff Farmer said it best with his shy "yip"
Other notable wrestling journalists include: Dave Meltzer, Sean Ross Sapp, Mike Johnson, Wade Keller (no one cares about this guy anymore tho), Ryan Satin (drove me nuts that I couldn't remember this guy's name, I had to go on a long search for a reminder)

Meltzer could get his own thread, but I feel like you have to be very careful not to sound like one of the twitter a-logs. Yes, he has said his share of dumb shit, and he tends to ramble in circles a lot, etc. - but to anyone thinking of making a thread, just remember the golden rule: lol calm down - try to be objective.

Sean Ross Sapp? Nah. Only dumb thing I remember about him is that he was on that bandwagon years ago where people tried to shame New Japan Pro Wrestling into having a women's division.

Mike Johnson? Eh, less and less people care about him. He used to be a big shill for anything related to ECW, including Extreme Rising, a failed independent promotion that was trying to revive the feeling of ECW. There is a funny story about how he stumbled into a big story with TNA Wrestling - short version: the former president of that promotion, Dixie Carter, had mistakenly sent an email to Mike Johnson that was meant for Mike Tenay, and other TNA staff members.

Ryan Satin might be worth looking at. He had some autistic slapfights on twitter and is a blatant WWE shill. Satin also has a past of working at TMZ, of all places. He did get a gig at WWE, but it was for a short lived program called WWE Backstage. r/squaredcircle know about him so that's a good place to look for info.

There's so much that could be tapped into with pro wrestling, though. Every mildly notable pro wrestling personality seems to have a podcast these days. More ideas for threads:
Vince Russo: former writer and booker on WCW, TNA, brought lots of dumb, garbage TV ideas to those promotions. Just hearing him talk explains a lot, he is as dumb as you'd imagine. Very thick Noo Yohk accent on him.
Jim Cornette: failed wrestling booker, got his cult-like fandom via merely pointing out the stupidity of his coworkers on podcasts - once he got his own podcast, it became clear that he's just a different kind of idiot. To anyone who hasn't heard him speak, he sounds exactly like a stereotypical southern rasslin' fan.

Wrestling Youtubers and twitter autists might even earn some threads, but eh, baby steps...then again, we already have a wrestling Youtuber covered, his name is Tonkasaw.

 

[Lasersuit Larry]

Jim Cornette: failed wrestling booker, got his cult-like fandom via merely pointing out the stupidity of his coworkers on podcasts - once he got his own podcast, it became clear that he's just a different kind of idiot. To anyone who hasn't heard him speak, he sounds exactly like a stereotypical southern rasslin' fan.

Minor point in the grand scheme of things, but Jim has managed some of the most widely successful tag-teams in history and then went on to have major creative influence at the top promotions across multiple decades. He isn't really relevant anymore because despite his knowledge he's very out of touch, but I'm struggling to find the universe where 'failed' would apply.

If anything, he's one of the only people mentioned in this thread who have any good reason for the wider wrestling community to care what they say at all.

 

[Blewberry Nausea]

If missy hyatt won’t fuck you, you truly are revolting

Holy hell did she get the worst surgeon ever.

 

[FlipDip]

Mike Johnson has a life at least. Same with Wade, Sean Ross Sapp etc. Bix, Rovert and Meltzer are online 23 1/2 hours a day.

 

[Grift Garrison]

if anyone was on 420chan's /wooo/ board maybe like 10 years ago you can find some cows on there. i think kirtaner might already have a thread on here. kirt and spardot effectively killed that place but in its time it was a cesspool of liberal retardation

Got banned from their streaming chat a couple of weeks ago for transphobia, so little has changed.

Minor point in the grand scheme of things, but Jim has managed some of the most widely successful tag-teams in history and then went on to have major creative influence at the top promotions across multiple decades. He isn't really relevant anymore because despite his knowledge he's very out of touch, but I'm struggling to find the universe where 'failed' would apply.

If anything, he's one of the only people mentioned in this thread who have any good reason for the wider wrestling community to care what they say at all.

You can hate Cornette, and he has some stupid political views, but the guy is anything but a failure. He's Top 2 Wrestling Manager of all time, very high on the top color commentators of all time, he's the one responsible for the Montreal Screwjob, SMW was way more relevant than it shoul have been as they had their tag titles defended on both WWF & WCW PPVs in the same year, he saved ROH by getting Sinclair to buy it, and hes responsible for the training of John Cena, Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton, Shelton Benjamin, Bobby Lashley, etc. plus many more accolades.

Now if there is a failed promoting cow who needs a thread: Ian Rotten is your guy. Its kind of shocking he doesn't have one, because hes probably the biggest cow in wrestling history. He sold drugs to a guy who then OD'd and died, and then showed up to the funeral and asked the guys dad for gas money home. Fired from Taco Bell for having hepatits and not disclosing it.

 

[Lasersuit Larry]

Got banned from their streaming chat a couple of weeks ago for transphobia, so little has changed.

Gotta love the utter smoothness of the modern mark's brain. We will religiously follow grown up FAS babies stabbing each other with light tubes and defend obvious sex pests because we like the joke spots they do, but lose our fucking minds if you don't #SayTransRights.

 

[kaien]

Now if there is a failed promoting cow who needs a thread: Ian Rotten is your guy. Its kind of shocking he doesn't have one, because hes probably the biggest cow in wrestling history. He sold drugs to a guy who then OD'd and died, and then showed up to the funeral and asked the guys dad for gas money home. Fired from Taco Bell for having hepatits and not disclosing it.

This is one of those subjects where most of your documentation probably hasn't survived the death of various niche forums from the 2000s, and it's too bad, because Ian and IWA-Mid South were just an endless parade of low-rent midwest sleaze.

I remember Ian's "money mark" for a while, such as he was, was this fat misanthropic retard named Jim Fannin. Some antecedent of this guy's had died, parents or rich aunt or grandma or something, and left him a fair amount of money to live on, which he then spent on funding IWA-MS shows that usually drew about thirty people. One, because Ian let Fannin be a referee. Two, because Fannin had a desperate one-sided crush on a butt-faced fat chick wrestler named Mickie Knuckles, who was having absolutely none of him. The guy had a livejournal full of shithead ranting about the miserable life he'd created for himself, but god knows if any of it survives.

 

[Philly Phunk Machine]

Here's Bixenspan starting the rumor by claiming it wasn't him. No one really acknowledged it before that. Since this is such an in joke with some wrestling fans, and he gets very mad and annoyed when it's discussed, I somehow don't believe he's telling the truth. Even if he is, it should still be noted as a thing people make fun of him for.
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"I shit my pants, just not at the show."

Wrestling Youtubers and twitter autists might even earn some threads, but eh, baby steps...then again, we already have a wrestling Youtuber covered, his name is Tonkasaw.

I feel like wrestling Youtubers don't have very many cow qualities beyond just being weirdos. They're not particularly insidious or self destructive; more often then not their worst offense is being delusional and sinking lots of time into trying to promote their YouTube brand like it has a chance at being big someday.

 

[Grift Garrison]

This is one of those subjects where most of your documentation probably hasn't survived the death of various niche forums from the 2000s, and it's too bad, because Ian and IWA-Mid South were just an endless parade of low-rent midwest sleaze.

I remember Ian's "money mark" for a while, such as he was, was this fat misanthropic retard named Jim Fannin. Some antecedent of this guy's had died, parents or rich aunt or grandma or something, and left him a fair amount of money to live on, which he then spent on funding IWA-MS shows that usually drew about thirty people. One, because Ian let Fannin be a referee. Two, because Fannin had a desperate one-sided crush on a butt-faced fat chick wrestler named Mickie Knuckles, who was having absolutely none of him. The guy had a livejournal full of shithead ranting about the miserable life he'd created for himself, but god knows if any of it survives.

Yeah I think existing documentation would come in the form of shoot interviews, but we'll always have this:

 

[RunRufusRun]

Been wondering when Bix would get a thread on here.

Ler's see what hasn't been mentioned.

GLF was mentioned earlier. But no one brought up how for 2 years Bix was talking shit on GLF online. So first ROH show in NYC Glf spots Bix,who was there with a cousin we all assume is mentally handicapped. GLF goes over tells Bix to man up and say that shit to his face. Bix shoved his cousin between himself and GLF then ran off scream for security.

Love that someone brought up the Mid South Betamax tapes. The version I heard was some guy had had those tapes since he was young. Bix learned about this and for years begged the guy to send them to him "So i can transfeer them properly to VHS" . Finally to shut Bix up the guy sent the tapes. But the deal was Bix would send back the tapes and would not sell copies. No idea why but the owner of the tapes didn't want anyone making money off them.

Tapes got sent off and Bix blocked the owner on AIM and every forum they were both on. Few years later Super Storm Sandy hits and Bix starts talking about how "the biggest tragedy of Sandy was I lost all my wrestling tapes." Seems by this time Bix had transferred the betamax stuff to DVD-r and had a few people selling them.

Skip ahead a few years ago Brian last posts a clip that is obviously from these Betamax tapes. Was a Hacksaw Jim Duggan promo for Biloxi. This promo only aired on the MS airings of Mid South. And supposedly has a channel bug in the lower corner. Last is asked about this and claims it was off a tape Bix gave him years ago.

And yep as soon as I hit send I remembered a bit more.

For years Bix was part of a crew of wrestling trolls. They would go join forums and fuck with people. Kaiju was the group name. Then one day Bix got all self rightous and quit.

Or how about as a teen Bix,and he admitted to this on a podcast,would write up fake stories for RingRats dot com. About how Bix was a ring rat that would go back to the hotel rooms with Abdullah the Butcher and have sex with Abby.

I'm ask around and get more Bix stuff. Known of the dude since the late 90s.

 

[Journoscum]

As others have said, very well deserved thread and glad to see others agree. This guy makes a mockery of an already highly mockable industry. On top of that, I had no idea the guy pictured really was Bix. I thought that was just some random /v/ poster or something that people attach to any random loser online. He really looks like he acts I suppose. Well done OP

 

[AskeDead]

i saw him posted on /asp/ like 5 years ago so i'm shocked it took this long for a thread to pop up here

 

[RunRufusRun]

To show yall how hated Bix is in wrestling . Even in areas of the US where Bix has never been the wrestlers/refs/etc all know of him.
Pretty much most feds in the deep south have a "NO BIX AT SHOWS" rule.

 

[blablabla]

every tranny in the SA deserves a thread lmao what a bunch of easily agitated morons.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

At least I know anime isn't real.

Let's hope it stays that way.
I know absolutely nothing about wrestling, but damn if this guy ain't a piece of work. He's looks like if the platonic ideal of a neckbeard became flesh. Has a personality that matches the outside too. Something about careercows always intrigue me. I think it's the juxtaposition of how seriously they take themselves and their jobs and how they look and behave towards the outside world.